"The rose is red, the violet's blue,
The honey's sweet, and so are you.
Thou art my love and I am thine;
I drew thee to my Valentine:
The lot was cast and then I drew,
And Fortune said it shou'd be you."
- Gammer Gurton's Garland
Sif dropped down into the chair across from Loki's desk and heaved a sigh, opening up her lunch bag and retrieving a plastic container. Loki pushed his glasses up and wrinkled his nose at the tuna casserole inside. This was the third day in a row that she'd brought that disgusting food into his office.
"What's on the menu for you today?" she asked, ignoring the sour look on his face and shoveling a forkful of the strong-smelling pasta into her mouth.
Loki Odinson, assistant professor in the University's anthropology department resisted the urge to open the small window that overlooked the campus in the tiny office to be rid of the offensive odor, if only because it was freezing outside, the last fingers of winter holding tight to the February air. Instead he pulled the homemade turkey sandwich and apple from his own lunch bag and held it up for her to see.
"A feast fit for a king," he drawled.
"Who knew a career in academia would be so luxurious?" she laughed and picked up the small seax near her elbow and twirled the viking-era dagger between her fingers.
He snatched it out of her hand and replaced it lovingly back onto his desk display.
"I'm beginning to regret all the choices that led me here."
"You'd miss me if you were anywhere else," Sif stuck her tongue out at him. "But, yeah, I would kill to go a few days without the threat of student loans and measly pay hovering over my head."
Sif, also a first-year professor, taught in the building next door for the Health and Physical Education department. They'd first met at a new faculty orientation at the beginning of last semester and were seated at the same table during a luncheon. Loki had made a snide comment about the University President's awful toupe under his breath and had been pleasantly surprised when the pretty woman next to him had laughed and elbowed him in the ribs.
It had only spurred him on, really, and he had continued whispering his biting observations to her and had been rewarded with her violence. By the end of the day his arm was sore from her jabs and her cheeks ached from smiling and they'd agreed to battle together against the stuffy decorum and the pressures of being the newest staff on campus. Their shared moments of joking and venting when they bumped into each other around the campus eventually turned into a routine to share their lunch together a few times a week. Away from office hours, and whining undergrads; swapping stories of the worst papers submitted and the best excuses that were emailed to them around exams times.
"Am I allowed to touch this ancient artifact?" Sif asked, pointing to the newspaper on his desk. "Honestly, who still gets an actual paper delivered? You should join the rest of us in getting your news from the internet."
"I, for one, enjoy the ritual of having a reliable news source to hold in my hands," he spoke around a bite of his apple and waved the fruit at her. "Knock yourself out."
Sif flipped through the pages until she found what she was looking for: Horoscopes. Of course she would find the one made-up section in the entire newspaper. Loki rolled his eyes and pointed at the full-page add for the fancy mountain lodge located outside of town printed opposite the horoscopes.
"Have you ever been there? I've heard it's beautiful."
"Didn't I just whine about how broke I am? No, I've never been to an all-inclusive resort." Sif studied the ad. "Apparently they're having a huge Valentine's Day offer for couples that includes a night's stay with their spa, wine, and a fancy champagne dinner. How romantic." She read through the ad again and looked at the price. "Huh, that's a good deal."
Loki crooked his neck to read the details of the ad and adjusted his glasses. "That's a really good deal."
"Too bad we're both single," Sif shrugged.
"What day is Valentine's Day this year?" Loki mused, one long finger tapping again this chin.
"A Thursday." Sif pulled up the calendar in her phone to confirm. She looked at him from the side of her eyes. "You got a date in mind?"
"You don't have any classes on Friday until the afternoon, right?"
"Correct," Sif answered warily.
"Let's do it," Loki knocked his fist against his desk. Sif balked.
"It's for couples. And we're not, you know, dating."
"So we pretend we're together for the night. It's not like they'll have a way to actually know we're just friends." Loki said.
"Is that even allowed? What if someone from the University found out?"
"Professors aren't allowed to date students or other subordinates," Loki answered a little too quickly. Not willing to admit that he had looked up that particular rule after their shared orientation. "It's perfectly allowed for us to be romantic. There are several professors who are married to each other on campus, so we can't get into trouble."
Sif nodded her head, considering. Loki pressed on, suddenly convinced.
"I am desperate for a massage and you deserve a giant steak dinner."
"True," Sif agreed.
"Splitting the cost, it would be a waste of money not to do this," Loki could see her waffling and took a chance. "It'll be like a game. We can see just how persuasive we can be to pull one over on this place, which of us can be more convincing."
Sif grinned. He had her.
"Just for one night?"
"Just for one night."
"Alright," Sif's smile spread. "Call them."
Loki picked Sif up from the faculty lot on campus the following Thursday afternoon after his last lecture of the day. He had volunteered to drive the 40 minutes outside of town since his SUV would handle the snowy road easier than Sif's poor beat-up little Honda.
They conspired in their deceit on the trip up to the mountain.
"Should we use fake names?"
"It's all booked under my actual name and they asked me for your name as well, so no." Loki smiled. "Honestly, Sif. They're not going to have a detective looking for fraudulent couples."
"True, since you're probably the only one devious enough to come up with such a scam," Sif laughed. "Is this a thing other people do?"
Loki shrugged. "People lie all the time, for many reasons."
Sif rolled her eyes. "How profound. Well, you said earlier that this is sort of like a game and if we're gonna do this, I want to be the best."
"Well," Loki laughed, "good luck. I don't take that challenge lightly."
"Oh, you have no idea what you're in for," she grinned.
"Welcome to The Lodge," the perky woman behind the counter greeted them. Red paper hearts adorned the knotted wood columns throughout the lobby. Loki greeted her and gave his name. She tapped away on her computer and printed out a sheet of paper.
"Looks like your reservation is all set. We have you booked in one of our Lovers Suites with a queen bed that overlooks the river."
"Just one bed?" Loki cut in. The woman double checked her screen and the print-out.
"Yes, sir."
Loki cleared his throat and glanced towards Sif. She looked slightly alarmed. He hadn't expected this challenge to their ruse so soon. If Sif refused the room, the whole night of events would be forfeited.
"When I called I thought I had booked a double room. If you could please double check."
"My apologies, sir. Give me just a moment." She tapped at her keyboard again, the frown deepening on her face. "I'm sorry we are totally booked out for tonight's events. When you booked the Romance Package night it must have just been assumed that one bed would be preferred..." She looked with confusion between Loki and Sif.
Sif reached for Loki's hand. "He's just a horrible snorer, so sometimes we like the option of a second bed. But one is perfectly fine. Right, sugar?"
"Of course, cupcake," Loki agreed with an overly bright smile, ignoring his annoyance that he had to be labeled the snorer.
"Oh, good," the woman smiled, looking reassured. She slid the sheet of paper across the counter towards them, and pointed out the typed up schedule of events. "With your Romance Package we have the whole evening planned out for you. Your spa reservation is for 5:00, chocolate and wine tasting is at 7:00, and your dinner table is reserved for 8:00. We thank you for spending your Valentine's Day with us and hope you fall deeper in love during your stay."
Loki took the keycard and led the way to up to their assigned room, pulling Sif along behind him in their still-entangled grasp. When they were out of sight of the lobby, Sif dropped his hand. He did not let himself notice how much he missed the warmth of it.
"Well that was almost a disaster. Cupcake? Really, Loki?"
"You're the one who turned this into a competition. Don't think that doesn't include one-upping you with horrific pet names."
Loki swiped the card and entered the room, holding the door open for Sif to lead the way in. It was cozy and warm, with an electric fireplace glowing in the corner and the window displaying the gorgeous snowy landscape. It was all extremely... romantic. He suddenly felt a little awkward in the close quarters of the room.
"I swear I asked for two beds." Loki set his bag down and lifted his hands in a gesture that he hoped conveyed his innocence.
"I know, Loki, I was sitting two feet away from you when you booked it." She wandered over to the table near the window and discovered a complimentary bottle awaiting them in an icy champagne bucket. "I think we'll manage. You stay on your side or the bed and I'll stay on mine. And if you try any funny business I'll tear your arms off." She grinned, wicked and amused, and Loki did not doubt her threat for one second.
"Now we've just got to sell this relationship for the next few hours and reap all the luxurious benefits." She handed him a full champagne flute and raised her own. "Cheers to the game."
"To the game," Loki tipped his head and glass toward her before taking a long drink. This would be an interesting night.
The spa was absolutely exquisite and Loki gladly accepted the complimentary glass of champagne that was offered by the staff to take into the men's side of the spa. He lounged in the sauna and tried out the decadent waterfall shower, all the while mentally toasting himself for this utterly brilliant scheme. Until he was called into another room for his scheduled massage time.
Why hadn't he considered that it would be a couples massage?
Sif gave him a little wave, dressed in her own fluffy white robe, and stood awkwardly next to one of two massage tables in the small room. A little machine pumped lavender scented mist into the air and Loki was aware of music playing that was was likely meant to be soothing, although he suddenly felt anything but soothed, standing with only a robe separating his naked body from the eyes of his equally unclothed coworker.
"We'll leave you two to get undressed and settled, we'll be back in a moment." The massage therapist pulled the door shut behind her, giving Loki a wink. He looked to Sif with a bewildered expression on his face, but she only shrugged.
"You first."
"Turn around," Loki gestured for Sif to look away. She smiled but complied.
With quick hands, Loki undid his robe, folded it neatly and laid it on a nearby chair. He climbed onto his table and positioned himself facedown, self consciously pulling the thin white sheet to cover his lower half and yet still feeling exposed.
"Alright," he said, his voice a bit muffled from the headrest that was pushing against his cheeks. Through the small opening in the cushion, Loki could see Sif's robe pool at her feet. The sight of her bare, shapely legs suddenly made him blush. He was thankful that she couldn't see his face and he didn't even mind that she left her robe where it had fallen, watching her legs disappear as she clambered onto the bed. He tried not to picture her body sliding under the sheet.
Before Loki could acknowledge the situation, a soft knock came from the door and two massage therapists entered the room. The women introduced themselves and asked for problem areas (Sif requested her shoulders and neck be targeted while Loki opted for a full body massage).
As the therapist got started on his back, working pleasant smelling lotions and oils into Loki's skin, he resisted the urge to groan in pleasure, looking forward to losing himself under the soothing touch.
"So," the therapist's voice pulled him from his reprieve. "How long have you two been together?"
"Err, six months," Sif's voice came from Loki's left. Loki didn't respond. Weren't massages supposed to be silent ?
"How did you meet?"
Loki sighed. Why wouldn't this blasted resort just let them enjoy their scam in peace? There was a moment of silence, and when Sif apparently realized that Loki was not going to help she offered a reply.
"Our first day at work we were seated together."
"Ah, so it was love at first sight?"
"Oh, yes. But can you blame me?" Sif responded. Loki felt his cheeks flush, even though he knew it was part of the act. "One look into those eyes and I was a goner. At least it was that way on my end, but I wouldn't want to speak for my honey bunny. "
Loki groaned. Partially from the awful nick name and partially from the absolutely wonderous things that were being done to his back. He suddenly felt slightly more charitable towards the chatty masseuse and decided to up Sif's game.
"Oh yes, it was the same for me. The first time we met she physically assaulted me and called me an ass. She truly swept me off my feet." He grinned into his headrest and proudly heard Sif huff a laugh as well. The massage therapist, however, slowed her ministrations, unsure of his words. He hurried to recover. "Truly though, she is the most stunning woman I've ever seen, and I knew from the first moment I never stood a chance."
The words slipped easily from his mouth, as if waiting for him to voice them. It startled him a bit, but he reassured himself that he had always been a decent liar, recalling all the fibbing he'd done in his youth to trick his brother into doing his bidding or taking the blame for mischief that he'd caused.
Mercifully, the masseuse seemed mollified by his answer and didn't press further, allowing the room to fall in to enjoyable peace. It wasn't long before the tension was worked out of his shoulders and he felt relaxed and comfortable. Even when the therapist held up the sheet for them to turn their naked bodies over onto their backs, Sif only smiled shyly at him and reached out her palm. He took it, and she squeezed his hand briefly. It was nice. And strangely intimate. But they'd made it through their first experience undetected. Loki silently congratulated himself again on the brilliant plan and a job well done before unwinding into the massage.
Back upstairs after they departed the spa, Loki, trying to be a gentleman, volunteered to change into his suit in the bathroom and give Sif the privacy of the room to dress for the rest of their scheduled evening. Running his fingers through his hair, he could hear Sif humming to herself from the other side of the door, and the unself-conscious sound of it made him smile to himself in the mirror.
He turned a small bottle over against his fingertips and dabbed a bit of cologne to his jugular and base of his throat before he cracked the door open.
"Sif? Is it alright for me to come out now?"
"Yeah, almost ready."
Loki stepped fully into the room and found Sif seated on the bed, zipping up her black ankle boots. She stood up as he approached and spread her arms, showing off the maroon dress and her cascading hair.
"How do I look?"
"Like a dream," Loki swallowed, letting his eyes rake over her, adjusting his glasses slightly to mask his open staring.
"You clean up nicely yourself," she stepped forward and smoothed the collar of his jacket. He could smell her perfume, or perhaps her shampoo, something warm and spiced that made him want to get closer.
He cleared his throat and offered his arm, reminding himself that there was still a game at play. "Shall we, muffin?"
"You got it, sweet cheeks," Sif threaded her arm through his and followed him out the door. Loki wrinkled his nose at the new moniker, but his sour face only made Sif laugh.
Their chocolate and wine tasting experience took place in the lodge's bar, decked out with more gaudy heart decorations and love songs crooned over the speakers. They sat side by side at the bar, testing out each bite of chocolate with a sip of decadent wine and comparing their favorites.
"This is the kind of research and data collection I can get behind," Sif laughed. Loki grinned.
"I would gladly co-author a study on our personal wine and chocolate preferences. I think our findings would truly rock the academic world."
"This has been such a welcome break from all that," Sif waved her hand, towards the window and, Loki assumed, the university campus.
"I agree," Loki bit down into a soft truffle and set it back down. Sif picked up his leftover and popped it into her mouth. They took a sip of red wine and let it wash over their palate, savoring the flavor combination. Sif closed her eyes and groaned in pleasure. Loki suddenly felt hot under his collar.
"I know we joke about how we met," Sif opened her eyes and smiled at him. "But I truly am grateful to have met you."
Loki sat up in his chair and preened. "Why, darling ."
"Oh, stop," Sif punched his shoulder lightly. "I mean it though. Last semester was a steep learning curve and I am glad I didn't go through that alone."
"I know what you mean," Loki sobered at her words, feeling touched by her admission and compelled to share his own. "I don't think I would have survived the past 6 months without being able to look forward to our lunches together."
The way Sif looked at him then, soft and almost tender, made him feel a strange but not unwelcome warmth in his chest. He reached for another chocolate truffle, meaning share another taste. Before he could sink his teeth into the soft ganache, Sif's eyes widened and she shouted.
"Loki, no!" She smacked his hand, sending the dessert to the floor. He sat frozen, staring at his friend, utterly startled. The resort's sommelier rushed to their side, looking alarmed.
"What happened?"
"Walnuts," Sif stated. And then softer, when she realized the whole bar was staring at them in shock. "He's allergic."
"Did I even mention that to you?" Loki asked softly, still taken aback. He often tried to keep his allergy a secret, not wanting to be looked on with any kind of pity.
"Once," Sif blushed. The sommelier retrieved the offending chocolate from the floor.
"My hero," Loki murmured, and Sif smiled.
"My apologies. Are you alright, sir? Ma'am?"
Loki reached out and found it quite easy to take her hand, remembering the kind words she had said about him tonight and her valiant action. He squeezed her hand gently and did not take his eyes from her face
"We're wonderful, thank you." He did not protest when she moved to interlaced their fingers and returned the reassuring pressure.
When they arrived at for their next appointment, fingers still threaded together, the hostess led them into a small dining room that was filled with couples seated around tables decorated with candles and roses.
The less cynical side of Loki acknowledged that despite the cliche of the evening, it was a bit hard not to get swept up in it all. The large windows near their assigned table gave a stunning display of snow falling softly in the night sky. Regardless or the full room, their little table, lit with a small candle, felt pleasingly intimate. The firelight danced across Sif's features as she scanned the menu, and Loki felt his stomach flip. He pushed his frames back up his nose with a long finger and tried not to stare. She really was quite lovely.
Before he could say something too painfully sincere, Sif excused herself, promising to be back in a moment. When she stepped away from the table, her hand ran from one of his shoulders to the other in an unconscious touch as she walked away. He resisted the urge to lean further into her hand.
When she returned, their meals followed soon after and the pair fell into easy conversation over the absolutely delicious food. The waiter brought by another two complimentary glasses of champagne. Between the booze and good food and great company, Loki was buzzing, his head feeling light and his blood warm. He felt happy . Sif, catching his smile, grinned back at him.
"You've been good at this," she complimented.
"It hasn't been difficult," Loki admitted before he could lie. It was something he'd been trying to deny all night, how easy it was to pretend that he did want her. For months and months he had tried to ignore his secret feelings for her, locked them away, not wanting to lose the friendship that they had built. But after the events of tonight, the romance, it was suddenly quite difficult to keep those feelings at bay.
To stop himself from divulging more sentimentality, Loki took a large swig of his bubbly champagne. Without much thought, he noticed something glint at the bottom of his flute, and then felt something hard hit his teeth.
"Ow." He froze. There was a metal band in his glass. A ring. Realization hit.
"What is this?" he hissed, fishing the jewelry out with long fingers and holding it out to Sif accusingly. "This was not part of the plan?"
She plucked the ring from him.
"You said this was a game and i'm here to win. Now sell it."
And then, to his absolute bewilderment, she got down on one knee.
"Dearest Loki," Sif held up the ring and raised her voice in formality. "The past six months have been the hardest, most challenging days of my life." She took his hand in hers, and looked deeply into his eyes. Her gaze pinned him in place. "But having you there with me through it all made everything more tolerable, and I can't imagine a future without you. Will you stand by side forever?"
He sat frozen, her words washing over him and Loki felt a deep strange, unbearable sense of longing.
"Pumpkin?" Sif questioned when he did not respond.
A game, he was reminded. Loki rolled his eyes, and threw his voice. "Of course, pookie." He nodded his head and allowed Sif to slip the ring onto his finger. It was a perfect fit.
The dining room, apparently waiting with bated breath for his answer, erupted into applause around them. Loki pulled Sif to her feet, ignoring the strange bittersweet emotion that swelled in his chest.
The sound of ting-ting rang out as the other guests tapped their silverware against crystal drinkware. Loki leaned down to whisper in Sif's ear.
"I think that means they want us to kiss."
Sif looked slightly astonished, as if it was a surprise to her that proposals typically ended in a display of affection.
"Oh, right," she turned to him and he noticed color staining her cheeks. "I suppose we could manage that."
She lifted herself up onto her toes, and braced her hands on his shoulders. Quickly, she pressed her lips against his in what could only be described as a peck.
The ringing glasses, however, didn't stop. If anything, they grew louder. Loki was pretty certain he actually heard someone boo .
"We can do better than that," Loki stepped closer, moving one of his hands to the small of her back to bring her closer. If Sif wanted to up the stakes of the game, he would not back down. "Give the people what they want."
Sif nodded determinedly and brought one hand up to rest on his cheek. He leaned down and Sif raised herself up to meet his lips again. This time, she let her lips slot against his, warm and soft, and he kissed her with all the passion he could muster. He felt as if an electric bolt had run through him, the thrill of the kiss was so overwhelming. Her body swayed into his, as if she felt as off balance as he did, and he could have sworn that she let out a slight moan when he finally withdrew his lips from hers. If the resort needed a show, they had certainly gotten one now.
Breathlessly, they stood still embracing with pounding pulses, staring at each other. It was a grand, utterly convincing performance on both of their parts, so much so that Loki felt unanchored. Sif was staring at his face as if she had never seen it before, as if she hadn't spent hours in front of him, laughing and conspiring. For a moment, he could have sworn that he saw a kind of reverence in her gaze.
"Congratulations," the waiter appeared at their side, but still neither moved to step away from the other's embrace. "May I interest you in dessert to celebrate?"
"No, I think we've had our fill, thank you." Sif's voice was low and the look in her eyes now spoke of other hungers to satisfy. It sent another thrill through Loki.
She took his hand then, and led him from the dining room up to their room. His heartbeat and his mind would not calm, the energy running through him. He waited for her to open the door before following her inside the cozy room, lit only by the soft glow from the fireplace.
Sif released his hand, turned to face him, and paused. Loki stood still for a moment, weighing the open door behind him and the woman before him
Before he could run, before he could even think, Sif stepped forward, as if the world had tilted under her feet, and to Loki's heart it felt like it had. He could no longer deny the truth, that it had been easier these past 6 hours to pretend that he wanted her than it had been the past six months to pretend he did not. Now that it was out he felt like it was a secret that he could not lock back up.
Her body met his, pressing him back against the door and slamming it shut under their combined weight. His breath left him on the collision and as he drew a breath her lips were on his. Her hands wrapped around the nape of his neck and sank into his hair. Her lips were warm and urgent, her kisses tasted like champagne and chocolate and something that kept him craving more.
He drank her in, the alluring fragrance of her perfume and the feel of her hips under his hands, and still he wanted.
He asked for it with one bold stroke of his tongue against hers. She responded by rocking her hips into his, pressing him harder against the door. His lips broke away from hers to let out a breathy groan. He paused then, despite the fire singing in his veins, to search her face.
"Is this still part of the game?" he whispered. She met his gaze and shook her head.
"No," she looked as if she wanted to say more, but kissed him instead.
Loki pushed away from the wall, lifting Sif easily off the ground, and wrapped her legs around his waist. Her hands eagerly pushed his jacket from his shoulders, helped him shake it off to land in a heap on the floor. Loki carried her the short distance to the bed, gently placing her down and then pushing her backwards.
She reached for him, pulling his long body down onto hers. He rolled his hips and settled between her legs, his hands searching the lines and curves of her muscular body, cataloging which touches made her gasp and moan. She gave just as good as he did, dragging her nails across his back, sending lightning through him, and he couldn't hide how desperately he wanted her, groaning against her mouth, her skin.
"Loki," her voice rasped in his ear. He hummed against her neck in response, feeling her shiver. "Loki, wait."
He paused, a sudden dread icing his guts.
"I don't want..." she sucked in an unsteady breath and Loki froze. "I just don't want things to change between us."
His heart dropped at her words. She didn't want to be more than friends. Didn't want this change. Didn't want him . He should have known.
"Oh, of course." He shifted off of her and sat up, straightening his glasses and turning his back to her. Sif whispered his name. The pain that blossomed in his chest was unbearable, but he did his best to close himself off to it, pushing to stand up.
"Loki, wait," she lifted herself up to sit, but Loki was gathering his jacket off the floor and retreating from the room. The door shut behind him before he could hear anymore of her rejection.
Loki walked through the halls of the lodge, his feet moving him forward with no destination except away . How could he have been so stupidly naive? He had been a fool to let himself think for a moment that this was ever going to go deeper than their original agreement. They were using each other for the benefit of the weekend. She did not love him.
The sight of couples canoodling and walking hand in hand throughout the lodge only made him feel even more foolish and he found himself heading to the front doors, walking out into the snow. Angrily, he tugged the silver ring that was still around his finger off and shoved it into his pocket, hating how he had liked the way it looked and felt on his hand, focusing instead on picking his way around tall trees. Out there, he walked and tried not to think, the quiet solitude of the mountain disrupted only by his footsteps and the single sniffling tear that spilled over onto his cheek.
When he returned to the room much later, Sif was already in bed. He watched her breath rise and fall in a soft, fluid motion for a moment, reassured that she was asleep. He fished the ring from his pocket and placed it on top of her travel bag. He contemplated sleeping on the floor but the chill from his snowy walk had sunk deep into his bones and he could not resist the call of the warm looking comforter.
Slipping under the covers, he was careful to place his body at the edge of the bed, turned away from her. Not that there would be temptation after earlier. And when he woke up in the middle of the night to find her pressed against his back, one arm slung over his waist, he ignored his shattering heart and did not mention it in the morning. Indeed, when he awoke, he was alone in the bed. Sif, it seemed, had packed her bag and left a note on the bedside table informing him that she would wait for him to meet her in the lobby.
The ride home was tense. Loki had ignored Sif's attempts at conversation and drove in silence. Sensing his determination, Sif had folded her arms and given up. When he dropped her at car, she hesitated a moment, one hand on the door handle.
"Thank you," she offered softly and grabbed her bag. Loki had given a curt nod and drove off without looking back.
The following week Loki did everything in his power to avoid his office hours, taking his lunch hour off campus and choosing to do his grading and prepwork from the comfort and protection of his own home.
He successfully avoided her for a week, until after class on Friday. He found Sif sitting on the hood of his car. Briefly, he contemplated turning around and leaving his car there. He could take a bus, he could buy a bike. But in the end he accepted her invitation to join her, patting her hand against his car hood. He leaned against the car, watching her warily from the corner of his gaze. Sif sighed, looking down at her fingers picking at her jeans.
"Have I ruined things between us?" She asked.
"I thought you made clear that there was nothing to ruin," Loki shrugged, pretending that he was indifferent instead of in excruciating pain. Sif looked confused. Hurt, even.
"What are you talking about?"
"You said that you didn't want things to change." Loki tried not to think about that moment.
"Yes," Sif agreed still looking concerned. "I didn't want to lose your friendship. But that seems to have happened." The look of sadness that crossed her face nearly made Loki feel guilty for avoiding her. "I didn't want to sleep with you and lose your respect. I didn't want sex to change all the things I felt for you."
Loki stopped. "I thought you didn't want to do that. With me." Sif looked at him with incredulity.
"I never wanted anything more in my life."
"Oh," Loki said dumbly.
"Don't you understand?" She reached a hand over and took his. "I want our lunch hours together and I want you to kiss me."
"You do?" The piece of him that had shattered last week stirred hopefully.
"Very badly." She smiled and pulled on his hand, forcing him up to stand in front of her. "I don't think I was really ready to admit to myself how much I wanted both of those things until this past weekend. I realized that everything I was saying that night was true, that those feelings were real. They weren't lies at all."
The relief, the understanding, that flooded him was immediate and marvelous. "I want it all too. Without the games and the deception. I want you, Sif."
"Good," she grinned and grabbed the front of his coat, pulling him down to her. Loki leaned forward, one hand on her back and the other bracing against the hood of the car. Her lips were insistent and the kiss was passionate, free of lies and confusion, and fueled only by authentic desire. When he finally pulled back, they were both breathless. Loki gave her a devious grin.
"If everything you said was true, does that mean we're still engaged?"
"Don't push it, pudding," she glared at him. "How about we start with dinner?"
"As you wish, my lady." He kissed her again.