One day Argus Hakan was conversing with the Gods (A.K.A. Hexepta devs) on the Hexepta Discord server.
"Hello.-" he typed when all of a sudden a MASSIVE ROBOT appeared!
" MrHakan, you have been promoted to level 5 !" it expulsed from its huge speakers.
"AAA" screamed Argus, as he was well and truly spooked by this massive metal intruder.
"Wow, congratulations!" smileyed ParadoxFish. ParadoxFish was the name of the mayor's account and he was normally very happy to see his prosperous town and its incredible academy flourish.
"wat is this?" Argus typed, he had no idea what the robot could be.
"KEK it's teh level bot" evilled ArrowDusk.
"Yes, watch this" type the mayor and he typed "!rank" and hit enter button.
"ParadoxFish - 2 / 32" said Rob Ot.
"WHH-" started the mayor but he was too STUNNED to continue.
"DeNonno where is the wine cellar? Have you been there yet?" he said, in a failed attempt to get more hExp.
It was no use, someone had overtaken him. But who?!
"I know!" typed Argus, "I shall find out what vile vermin did this!"
Argus did Absolute Zero with all his evidence and worked out that he should use the help command to find out who the number one person is.
"!help" typed Argus. "+help ;help /help 'help #help )help..."
But it was no use, he could not find a help command!
"(oh no no no this is not good)" he thought, "(how can I find out who is number one without a help?!)"
So he did Absolute Zero again and worked out he should just guess what the command for the leaderboards is (also within that time he worked out the bot prefix was ! so there's no continuity here but the help command still wasn't real).
"!leaderboards !boards !board !leader !rank !ranking !rankings !help !list !xp !hexp..." he tried but again to no avail!
"Very well!" typed Argus, "I shall have to do interrogations to work out who it is!"
Argus clicked on the top left circle with the friends list to get to the PMs and tried DMing people to interrogate them.
"(First, I'll try asking the mayor for leads)" thought Argus.
"Dear Mayor Hexepta,
It has come to my attention that your level is no longer the highest level.
This would imply that you are a victim of a serious crime, and I intend to find out who perpertrated this crime.
If you have any possible information you could supply me, please do not hesitate to do so.
Yours Truly,
Argus Hakan
Ace Hackattorney" he typed and then clicked send to send to the mayor.
Argus waited for a response. He went onto Reddit typed the dot com and then the /r/ and went onto Hexepta progress logs. He saw some development updates and stuff and thought it cool but he still had no response from the mayor.
"Hmm ok time to use THAT!" he shouted and used Absolute Zero. Then he worked out he should just go to the Mayor's house and ask him there so he did so.
But when he got there Mayor was DEAD! He had killed himself from the evilness of being overtaken in the levels system, this case is now a manslaughter!
"Hmm I cannot get any clues here now" said Argus but he phoned the police to tell them anyway.
Suddenly Argus realised that he had extreme homework to do for a near deadline, so he realised that he might have to not do the investigation, after all he is a busy studying student.
"But wait," he said, "if I was to do that, then I wouldn't be able to avenge the sad death of Mayor Hexepta!"
Argus did another Absolute Zero again and found that he had to make a new server called "cortroom" (It's like courtroom but spelt incorrectly since it is on the internet, lol) and invite all the suspects there to testify, instead of the longer individual interrogations like in Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express when they interrogate everyone individually.
He made the server and invited other people from the Hexepta discord onto it. One by one they all accepted the invite and joined. And then the interrogations begun!
"Ok, so does anyone know who the number one person is?" asked Argus.
Nobody said anything but Snowman said nothing suspiciously.
"SNOWMAN! You are seeming suspicious, what is it?" objected Argus.
"Uh nothing" said Snowman but then he did a testimony:
-NOTHING SUSPICIOUS-
"No, I'm not suspicious.
How could I possibly be suspicious? I didn't even say anything!
I know of 8 cool people in Germany.
I also know Arrow Dusk lives in Germany.
But yes, I am not suspicious though.
And even if I was, that is not a crime in itself!"
"Ok," said server owner Judge Argus, "Argus may now cross examine this testimony."
"CURSES!" swore Argus, "I cannot find any kind of contradiction with my evidence here! What can I possibly do?-" and then he did another Absolute Zero.
He worked out he'd need to use that technique that Grossberg told him through a series of connected logical conclusions and proceded to do so.
"(Ok, now to determine what statements are Truths and what are lies.)" he thought, and then said:
"Lie, Lie, Lie, True, Lie, Lie!", and then he presented hexepta discord logs, victim autopsy report, Snow Man user ID, Hexepta server roles listing, Rob Ot, and the attorney's badge and supra objected very loUDLY!
-
Snowman, in real life, was putting some lemon juice and sugar onto a pancake and looking forward to eating it.
"Mmmm" he thought, "This looks truly DELICIOUS!" and he smileyed happily.
He was about to sit back down at his computer to see if anything new happened on the cortroom server but then realised he had left his rose tea on the elegant table at the foot of his staircase.
He went down to get it and carefully carried the teacup and saucer upstairs and sat it down next to his computer.
"Oh, woops!" he exclaimed as he realised he now left his pancake on the table at the bottom of the stairs.
He went down, picked it up and carried it upstairs, and set it down next to his computer.
But when he looked at the screen and saw the LOUD objection, he screamed!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!" he screamed as he choked on the pancaked and spilt the tea all over the place. He was well and truly terrified!
-
"What! No, that is not true!" typed Snowman, "T-that evidence does not even work!"
But now all the other users were alerted to what was happening and wanted to find out what was happening!
"LMADO I knew he was a liar!"
"How did he know ArrowDusk is German?!"
"I sure hope there are Supra Objections added to Hexepta!"
Argus began to sweat. All the chaos was stopping him from getting answers from Snowman! This must be a time to do Absolute Zero!
He did Absolute Zero and worked out he had to make use of their hive minds so posted:
"Snowman is SCARED. Spread this message EVERYWHERE."
And then everyone tried posting it on all the servers they were on so went away.
"Kek." typed Argus, "Why were you being suspicious?"
"I'm still not telling you!" said Snowman but then Argus DMed a gun emoji so he told the Truth.
"Well, while I am not the rank 1 person, I do know how to find out who is." DMed Snowman, "You use the command !levels to find out!"
"Interesting," said Argus and he went into the Hexepta Discord and did !levels.
"Go check Hexepta Official Server's leaderboard: websiteforhexepta dot com ?" said Rob Ot and Argus clicked link.
The leaderboards said that the deceased was indeed number 2, but number 1 was...!
"OH NO THIS IS NOT GOOD, I HAVE TO HIDE THIS!" shouted Argus and closed his tab that said he had most hExp.
But he shouted too loudly, and the police heard him-!
"Argus Hakan you are under arrest for the manslaughter of Hexepta Mayor!" shouted the police.
-COURT-
"Court is now in session for the trial of Argus Hakan!" said the Judge Hexeptia, "Is the prosecution ready?" he asked.
"Yea kek" said Prosecutor ArrowDusk.
"I am also ready!" said Argus Hakan!
"This is a simple trial" said ArrowDusk, "because the mayor killed himself because he got overtaken in the hExp and it was Argus who overtook him so yea."
"Hmm, that does appear to be the case," started Argus, "but what Truth lies below all the fallacious falcities?!"
Argus used Absolute Zero again, now for the FINAL time! However, the fallacious falcities corrupted the Truth, and it took him a while to cut through the lies and reach the Truth.
-500 YEARS SUBSEQUENT-
"." thought Argus since this was the future now and people think differently (he'd also evolved into a ghost by this point).
However, within this dot resided the powerful Truth behind the case!
"I see!" shouted Argus, "We must focus our attention to the Hexepta Discord logs! In them, it is apparent that the victim was looking at the old "Minions Banana" video, and then said, precisely, "ok im listening to it in reverse"! Is it any wonder that they then killed themselves?!"
"Yes." said ArrowDusk, "Everyone has a computer for a head now so and they run a while loop saying that if they are about to kill themselves then they stop doing so, so it is not possible for that to be the case. Hence, I would like to change the charges from manslaughter to murder!"
The judge didn't say anything since he had died during the time.
"Well, in that case, I shall play the audio to the court!" shouted Argus, and covered his ears.
Immediately upon hearing it, everyone in the court, besides the Judge, killed themselves, overloading the suicide prevention mechanisms. Their combined spiritual dead soul powers all manifested themselves into the Judge and he grew massive.
"OK." said Judge, "I NOW DECLARE ARGUS HAKAN
NOT GUILTY"
Nobody cheered since they were all dead, but Argus did get given a certificate of Not Guilty, and then the Judge hit him with his gavel and sent him back to his present day.
He used the certificate to spread The Truth and everyone was happy and informed.
In the future, the trial would be unnecessary, so nobody would die, therefore Argus had succeeded in what he was doing!
THE END