Title: A Breakfast Club Parody
Author: Wari
E-mail: fa_chan@yahoo.com
Rating: R for bad language, drug use, and SLASH
Archive?: Sure, just ask for my permission.
Feedback: I crave your comments so bring them on!
Comments: This is based solely on the classic 80s flick, "The Breakfast Club."
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Mighty Ducks characters. Disney does. And as for "The Breakfast Club", I don't claim any rights to it, either. I'm not that brilliant, you know? :P
WARNING: Everyone portrayed is majorly OOC! Julie is a prissy stuck-up, Portman is a bad-ass (hey, stop looking at me like that), Charlie is a jock (well, I guess that wasn't so off-the-mark), Adam's weird and has problems (well…it's different from how he normally acts, ok?), and Ken is "the stereotyped smart Asian kid".
Note: I promise to be more original in the future. I'm just a little wary to be parodying such a classic, but I'll get over it soon.
---------------------
(Ken's POV)
Saturday, March 24, 1998.
Eden Hall Academy, Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Dear Dean Buckley,
We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. And what we did was wrong, but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us. In the simplest terms -- the most convenient of definitions: You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at seven o' clock this morning.
We were brainwashed.
---------------------
Julie reclined in the passenger seat of her father's BMW, pouting out the window.
"I can't believe you couldn't get me out of this. Things like this just doesn't happen to me," she complained and, flashing her doe eyes, turned to her father for some sympathy. "Daddy, am I a defective?"
Mr. Gaffney patted her shoulder gently. "No, honey, of course not. But skipping class to go shopping isn't an excuse."
"But, Daddy! I'm going to waste an entire Saturday in DETENTION! Do you know how demeaning that is?"
"Well, you should have thought about that before you skipped, right?" he reasoned, giving her a weak smile. Julie quieted down and stared disdainfully at the school steps.
"Is Mom going to ground me for this?" she asked, playing with her bracelets.
"Sweetheart, don't listen to your mother. I'm not grounding you, ok?" Mr. Gaffney handed Julie her lunch. "I promise to make it up to you."
Julie frowned, shrugging a slender shoulder, and grabbed her purse. She opened the door and stepped out, looking sullen. "Bye, Daddy."
Without waiting for a reply, she shut the door and headed up the steps. As Julie ascended the stairs, a station wagon pulled up behind the BMW. Inside was a Korean family consisting of a mother, a son, and a daughter. Mrs. Wu parked the station wagon and looked over her daughter, Sohl, and at her son, Ken.
"Is this the first or last time we do this, young man?" asked Mrs. Wu.
Ken sighed. "Last."
"Good, and since you're going to be here all day, use your time wisely and study, understand?" she warned in a stern voice. Ken craned his head to look at his mother and past his sister, who wore an evil smile on her 'angelic' face.
"Mom, it's detention. You're not allowed to study. Besides, you're supposed to sit around and do nothing. That's just how it works," Ken explained as he grabbed his lunch, one hand already pushing the door open.
"Don't you get an attitude with me! You WILL find some way to study because I'm not going to let you waste your time and throw your future away!" she scolded Ken, the act making Sohl absolutely giggle with joy. Ken nodded in defeat, got out, and slammed the door. After the station wagon drove out of sight, he proceeded to trudge up the stairs.
Meanwhile, a beige GM Jimmy rolled up to the school's driveway. Charlie Conway blinked and stopped playing with his Varsity hockey patch as his father put the gear in park. The man's gruff voice invaded his thoughts.
"Hey, I screwed around when I was a kid. Guys screw around, it's ok. Except you got caught, sport."
"Dad, Mom already gave me the third-degree, all right?" Charlie started, only to be silenced by the pissed-off look on his father's face.
"Hey! You wanna miss the game tonight? You wanna blow your ride? I certainly don't got the money to send you to school. Besides, no college is gonna offer scholarships to a discipline case!"
Holding his tongue, Charlie stared momentarily at his father then quietly got out. Shortly, the GM drove off.
Across the yard, Dean Portman strolled up to the driveway, hands stuffed inside the pockets of his ratty jacket. A pair of dark sunglasses perched above his nose obscured his eyes. He stepped off the grass and onto the pavement of the driveway. Then from out of nowhere, a periwinkle Cadillac screeched to a halt just before hitting him, but Dean didn't flinch.
Not at all.
He reached the stairs as a figure clad in black slinked out of the Cadillac. Adam Banks shouldered his awkwardly huge bag and walked over to the passenger side window of the car, where his mother sat. He was about to peer inside when unexpectedly, his father peeled out of the driveway, leaving him standing alone and confused. After a minute, he too, went up the stairs and walked to the library, which strangely, was to serve as the detention room this eventful weekend.
---------------------
To say that the library was 'huge' was definitely an understatement. But that still didn't change the fact that the library WAS huge.
Along with a giant wall clock mounted over the bay window on the second floor, logos of the Eden Hall Warriors were emblazoned from everywhere, including the balcony of the second-floor reference section. Wherever one would look, thousands and thousands of tomes lined the shelves of both the upper and lower floors of the enormous room, which was also decorated in the traditional school colors. Unfortunately, the display wasn't majestic enough to impress the group of rag-tag teenagers gathered inside, especially when it was seven in the morning, a time WAY too early for anyone to be up and serving sentence in detention.
Julie sat at the front table with Ken already settled at one table behind her. Charlie came in next, and seeing that Julie was the only person he recognized in the room, he gestured to a seat at her table. She gave him a small smile and shrugged carelessly. Charlie returned it and sat down.
Seconds later, Dean stepped through the doors large double doors, which were propped open. He toyed with the objects on the circulation desk, 'accidentally' dropping in some pads of sticky-notes into his pocket, and made his way to where Ken sat. He shooed the small boy out of the seat with his menacing stature. Not wanting any trouble, Ken immediately got up and got out of the taller boy's way.
Dean smirked and sat, propping his feet on the seat across from him and adjusting the skull-n-crossbones bandanna tied around his head. As Dean took off his shades, Charlie turned around in his chair to throw him an annoyed look, which he pointedly brushed off with a loud yawn. Meanwhile, Ken finally drifted over to a table across from his and meekly sat down.
The four sat around dumbly for a minute or so until Adam hurried into the room, head bowed, his dirty blonde hair obscuring his face. Their scrutinizing gazes followed the strange boy as he hastened to the corner table all the way in the back and plopped down facing away from the group. Charlie caught Julie's eye and snickered, nodding towards Adam. Julie grinned.
Suddenly, their heads snapped from the back of the room where Adam sat and to the front of the room as Dean Buckley stiffly entered the library with a curious look on his face. A man in his early fifties, the Dean wore a gray, tailored suit, for which the pants came up a little past his ankles, accompanied with suspenders and thick-framed bi-focal lenses, which clung onto the breast pocket of his jacket. Clearing his throat, he came to stand before the five students.
"Well, well, well, I'm glad to see that you all are on time. It's good to know that everyone's taking this detention sentence seriously," he acknowledged condescendingly.
Julie raised her hand, interrupting the Dean's speech.
"Sir, excuse me, but I don't think I belong in here," she said a matter-of-factly. Julie looked affronted as Dean Buckley ignored her statement and continued his memorized lecture.
"I hope you know that what you all did was wrong. Here at Eden Hall Academy, you do the crime, you do the time…"
Dean lounged in his seat, tuning out the Dean's ranting. He'd heard it so many times before. In fact, just last Saturday, the Dean had given him and the other detention-goers the exact same crap.
To amuse himself, he hocked up a loogie, spit it up in the air and caught it in his mouth effortlessly. Unfortunately, Julie happened to catch sight of the disgusting display. She instantly blanched and looked away, which earned a waggle of the eyebrows accompanied with an evil smile from Dean.
"They'll be no talking, no moving, no sleeping, no nothing," Dean Buckley's voice abruptly cut into his antics. Somewhere behind Charlie, Dean scoffed.
"Ok, boys and girls, we're going to try something new today," Buckley said, clapping his hands together excitedly. He went around the room, placing a sheet of paper and a pencil in front of each of them. "You have the honor of writing me an essay of no less than a 1,000 words, telling me about who you think you are."
Buckley approached Dean and slapped the writing utensils onto his desk. "And when I say '1,000 words', I don't mean one word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear, Portman?"
"Crystal, sir," he replied sarcastically then followed up with a fake, bright smile.
"Good. Now, I hope you learn something from this, if anything. Maybe you'll decide whether or not you care to return to Eden Hall next year, buster."
Dean stared at Dean Buckley nonchalantly.
At hearing this, however, Ken quickly stood up and addressed the Dean.
"You know, for me personally, I can answer that question right now, sir --"
Dean Buckley turned to Ken, nostrils flaring. "Sit down, Wu!" he bellowed.
Ken squeaked and promptly sat down. "Sitting, sir."
Dean Buckley sighed and massaged his aching temples. He hated teenagers. They think they know everything. Whippersnappers punks, all of them! Taking a deep breath to steady his anger, he spoke again.
"Now, my office is right across the hall. Any form of monkey business is ill-advised, do you understand?"
It was Dean's turn to raise his hand. "I got a question, sir. Does Steve Urkel know that you raid his wardrobe?"
Charlie and Julie couldn't help but snicker quietly at the joke. Dean Buckley, however, was not amused in the slightest bit.
"Well, I've got the answer to that question next Saturday, Mr. Portman. Now, all of you, get to work!"
With that said, the Dean stormed out of the library and into his office.
Author: Wari
E-mail: fa_chan@yahoo.com
Rating: R for bad language, drug use, and SLASH
Archive?: Sure, just ask for my permission.
Feedback: I crave your comments so bring them on!
Comments: This is based solely on the classic 80s flick, "The Breakfast Club."
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Mighty Ducks characters. Disney does. And as for "The Breakfast Club", I don't claim any rights to it, either. I'm not that brilliant, you know? :P
WARNING: Everyone portrayed is majorly OOC! Julie is a prissy stuck-up, Portman is a bad-ass (hey, stop looking at me like that), Charlie is a jock (well, I guess that wasn't so off-the-mark), Adam's weird and has problems (well…it's different from how he normally acts, ok?), and Ken is "the stereotyped smart Asian kid".
Note: I promise to be more original in the future. I'm just a little wary to be parodying such a classic, but I'll get over it soon.
---------------------
(Ken's POV)
Saturday, March 24, 1998.
Eden Hall Academy, Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Dear Dean Buckley,
We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. And what we did was wrong, but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us. In the simplest terms -- the most convenient of definitions: You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at seven o' clock this morning.
We were brainwashed.
---------------------
Julie reclined in the passenger seat of her father's BMW, pouting out the window.
"I can't believe you couldn't get me out of this. Things like this just doesn't happen to me," she complained and, flashing her doe eyes, turned to her father for some sympathy. "Daddy, am I a defective?"
Mr. Gaffney patted her shoulder gently. "No, honey, of course not. But skipping class to go shopping isn't an excuse."
"But, Daddy! I'm going to waste an entire Saturday in DETENTION! Do you know how demeaning that is?"
"Well, you should have thought about that before you skipped, right?" he reasoned, giving her a weak smile. Julie quieted down and stared disdainfully at the school steps.
"Is Mom going to ground me for this?" she asked, playing with her bracelets.
"Sweetheart, don't listen to your mother. I'm not grounding you, ok?" Mr. Gaffney handed Julie her lunch. "I promise to make it up to you."
Julie frowned, shrugging a slender shoulder, and grabbed her purse. She opened the door and stepped out, looking sullen. "Bye, Daddy."
Without waiting for a reply, she shut the door and headed up the steps. As Julie ascended the stairs, a station wagon pulled up behind the BMW. Inside was a Korean family consisting of a mother, a son, and a daughter. Mrs. Wu parked the station wagon and looked over her daughter, Sohl, and at her son, Ken.
"Is this the first or last time we do this, young man?" asked Mrs. Wu.
Ken sighed. "Last."
"Good, and since you're going to be here all day, use your time wisely and study, understand?" she warned in a stern voice. Ken craned his head to look at his mother and past his sister, who wore an evil smile on her 'angelic' face.
"Mom, it's detention. You're not allowed to study. Besides, you're supposed to sit around and do nothing. That's just how it works," Ken explained as he grabbed his lunch, one hand already pushing the door open.
"Don't you get an attitude with me! You WILL find some way to study because I'm not going to let you waste your time and throw your future away!" she scolded Ken, the act making Sohl absolutely giggle with joy. Ken nodded in defeat, got out, and slammed the door. After the station wagon drove out of sight, he proceeded to trudge up the stairs.
Meanwhile, a beige GM Jimmy rolled up to the school's driveway. Charlie Conway blinked and stopped playing with his Varsity hockey patch as his father put the gear in park. The man's gruff voice invaded his thoughts.
"Hey, I screwed around when I was a kid. Guys screw around, it's ok. Except you got caught, sport."
"Dad, Mom already gave me the third-degree, all right?" Charlie started, only to be silenced by the pissed-off look on his father's face.
"Hey! You wanna miss the game tonight? You wanna blow your ride? I certainly don't got the money to send you to school. Besides, no college is gonna offer scholarships to a discipline case!"
Holding his tongue, Charlie stared momentarily at his father then quietly got out. Shortly, the GM drove off.
Across the yard, Dean Portman strolled up to the driveway, hands stuffed inside the pockets of his ratty jacket. A pair of dark sunglasses perched above his nose obscured his eyes. He stepped off the grass and onto the pavement of the driveway. Then from out of nowhere, a periwinkle Cadillac screeched to a halt just before hitting him, but Dean didn't flinch.
Not at all.
He reached the stairs as a figure clad in black slinked out of the Cadillac. Adam Banks shouldered his awkwardly huge bag and walked over to the passenger side window of the car, where his mother sat. He was about to peer inside when unexpectedly, his father peeled out of the driveway, leaving him standing alone and confused. After a minute, he too, went up the stairs and walked to the library, which strangely, was to serve as the detention room this eventful weekend.
---------------------
To say that the library was 'huge' was definitely an understatement. But that still didn't change the fact that the library WAS huge.
Along with a giant wall clock mounted over the bay window on the second floor, logos of the Eden Hall Warriors were emblazoned from everywhere, including the balcony of the second-floor reference section. Wherever one would look, thousands and thousands of tomes lined the shelves of both the upper and lower floors of the enormous room, which was also decorated in the traditional school colors. Unfortunately, the display wasn't majestic enough to impress the group of rag-tag teenagers gathered inside, especially when it was seven in the morning, a time WAY too early for anyone to be up and serving sentence in detention.
Julie sat at the front table with Ken already settled at one table behind her. Charlie came in next, and seeing that Julie was the only person he recognized in the room, he gestured to a seat at her table. She gave him a small smile and shrugged carelessly. Charlie returned it and sat down.
Seconds later, Dean stepped through the doors large double doors, which were propped open. He toyed with the objects on the circulation desk, 'accidentally' dropping in some pads of sticky-notes into his pocket, and made his way to where Ken sat. He shooed the small boy out of the seat with his menacing stature. Not wanting any trouble, Ken immediately got up and got out of the taller boy's way.
Dean smirked and sat, propping his feet on the seat across from him and adjusting the skull-n-crossbones bandanna tied around his head. As Dean took off his shades, Charlie turned around in his chair to throw him an annoyed look, which he pointedly brushed off with a loud yawn. Meanwhile, Ken finally drifted over to a table across from his and meekly sat down.
The four sat around dumbly for a minute or so until Adam hurried into the room, head bowed, his dirty blonde hair obscuring his face. Their scrutinizing gazes followed the strange boy as he hastened to the corner table all the way in the back and plopped down facing away from the group. Charlie caught Julie's eye and snickered, nodding towards Adam. Julie grinned.
Suddenly, their heads snapped from the back of the room where Adam sat and to the front of the room as Dean Buckley stiffly entered the library with a curious look on his face. A man in his early fifties, the Dean wore a gray, tailored suit, for which the pants came up a little past his ankles, accompanied with suspenders and thick-framed bi-focal lenses, which clung onto the breast pocket of his jacket. Clearing his throat, he came to stand before the five students.
"Well, well, well, I'm glad to see that you all are on time. It's good to know that everyone's taking this detention sentence seriously," he acknowledged condescendingly.
Julie raised her hand, interrupting the Dean's speech.
"Sir, excuse me, but I don't think I belong in here," she said a matter-of-factly. Julie looked affronted as Dean Buckley ignored her statement and continued his memorized lecture.
"I hope you know that what you all did was wrong. Here at Eden Hall Academy, you do the crime, you do the time…"
Dean lounged in his seat, tuning out the Dean's ranting. He'd heard it so many times before. In fact, just last Saturday, the Dean had given him and the other detention-goers the exact same crap.
To amuse himself, he hocked up a loogie, spit it up in the air and caught it in his mouth effortlessly. Unfortunately, Julie happened to catch sight of the disgusting display. She instantly blanched and looked away, which earned a waggle of the eyebrows accompanied with an evil smile from Dean.
"They'll be no talking, no moving, no sleeping, no nothing," Dean Buckley's voice abruptly cut into his antics. Somewhere behind Charlie, Dean scoffed.
"Ok, boys and girls, we're going to try something new today," Buckley said, clapping his hands together excitedly. He went around the room, placing a sheet of paper and a pencil in front of each of them. "You have the honor of writing me an essay of no less than a 1,000 words, telling me about who you think you are."
Buckley approached Dean and slapped the writing utensils onto his desk. "And when I say '1,000 words', I don't mean one word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear, Portman?"
"Crystal, sir," he replied sarcastically then followed up with a fake, bright smile.
"Good. Now, I hope you learn something from this, if anything. Maybe you'll decide whether or not you care to return to Eden Hall next year, buster."
Dean stared at Dean Buckley nonchalantly.
At hearing this, however, Ken quickly stood up and addressed the Dean.
"You know, for me personally, I can answer that question right now, sir --"
Dean Buckley turned to Ken, nostrils flaring. "Sit down, Wu!" he bellowed.
Ken squeaked and promptly sat down. "Sitting, sir."
Dean Buckley sighed and massaged his aching temples. He hated teenagers. They think they know everything. Whippersnappers punks, all of them! Taking a deep breath to steady his anger, he spoke again.
"Now, my office is right across the hall. Any form of monkey business is ill-advised, do you understand?"
It was Dean's turn to raise his hand. "I got a question, sir. Does Steve Urkel know that you raid his wardrobe?"
Charlie and Julie couldn't help but snicker quietly at the joke. Dean Buckley, however, was not amused in the slightest bit.
"Well, I've got the answer to that question next Saturday, Mr. Portman. Now, all of you, get to work!"
With that said, the Dean stormed out of the library and into his office.