Hey people!!! This is my first Mentalist fanfic... the characters may be a little out of character but please read and review. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I do not own The mentalist, the characters, or the actors......For now....Just kidding!
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Only one word could describe the feeling that Theresa Lisbon was going through...Plain...Ass...Boredom.
The same word could also be used to describe her week...
Now Lisbon usually wasn't one to complain but today...she wanted to rip out her hair and scream to the top of her lungs! None of her team mates were here, not even the all mighty annoying Patrick Jane! She was THE ONLY one here and it sucked.
She, being the wonderful and dedicated cop that she was, decided to volunteer and come to work on her day off and help catch them up on the file cases that they were beginning to get oh-so-behind in...only, she thought that her team mates would be here because it wasn't their day off...
Instead, they all called in sick and she had to sit here all alone. She wondered what they were up to...she felt sort of left out.
Her mind then wondered on the the last member of her team, Jane. She wondered what Jane was doing...probably creeping out a poor pedestrian with his freaky mind tricks. She laughed at that.
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A couple more minutes passed by while Lisbon worked on the files. She sighed when she had finished her twentieth one. It was a cold case file which had been solved by none other than Patrick Jane. She smiled at the thought, though he could be, and was for the most part, a pain in the ass; she could honestly say that he was what made their team whole. Like a second family. Everybody had a soft spot for him...even her no nonsense boss Minnelli. Which would explain why Jane was still around.
"What'cha thinking about?" Came an amused voice.
"AGH!" Yelled Lisbon as she suddenly jerked out from her thoughts.
"Jane, don't do that!!!" Jane just kept on laughing.
Lisbon glared at the back of Jane as he went to go lie down on the couch. "What are you doing here? I thought it was you're day off." Said Lisbon.
Jane smiled as he laid down, "It is. But I could sleep so I figured I'd come here and work. Though I didn't expect to see you here, It's your day off as well right?"
Lisbon rolled her eyes, "Yes, but you knew that I had volunteered to work today. My guess is that you came down here to annoy me and get me in trouble."
Jane smiled cunningly, "You're good. But wrong. I simply came down here to work."
Lisbon rolled her eyes, "Lot a good you're doing...your just sleeping."
"I'm working one my sleeping. Besides, it's a lazy day anyway."
"You can say that again." Lisbon replied. "None of my agents are here!"
Jane sighed, "Let me guess, Rigsby, Van Pelt, and Cho all called in sick and that makes you think they're up to something. You're sort of pissed off because they didn't include you...or me am I right?"
Lisbon rolled her eyes, "I'm not even going to justify that ludicrous question."
Jane gave her a toothy grin, "Because you know I'm right!"
Lisbon frowned, he was right...but she'll be damned before she lets it slips that she agrees. So she decided to ignor him.
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They stayed like this for a while, Jane asleep on the couch while Lisbon was silently doing paperwork.
But after thirty long minutes Lisbon cracked. "Ugh! I can't take it anymore!" She mumbled and dropped her head atop her files.
"What? Working? That's the first." Replied Jane sarcastically.
Lisbon frowned, oh how good it would feel to throw her stapler at him. But she let it slide.
"It's just that it's so incredibly boring! File after file after file! And what makes it exceptionally boring is the fact that none of my agents are here for me to boss around!"
Jane walked over to her and sat on her desk, "Well Agent Lisbon, if your that bored...why don't we have a little fun?"
She was about to say yes until she caught the glimpse of evil in his eyes, "What kind of fun?" She asked.
Jane's smile turned cunning, "Oh, just a little fun we 'mentalist' like to do..." His face now feighned innocence but his eyes still betrayed him. They held tons of mischief.
Lisbon eyed him skeptically, "Will you fun get me fired?"
Jane's smile became, if possible, more mischievous.
"Maybe...You'll definately have three very pissed off agents and maybe one furious boss."
"What a day from hell that's gonna be." Mumbled Lisbon.
" I promise, if it goes as far as you losing your job, I'll take the blame and you'll get away scotch free. Deal?" replied Jane. he was obviously mind set on having fun.
Lisbon sighed, "Sorry Jane, I don't play like that. Either we share equal blame or I don't participate. No deal."
Jane frowned, "Please?"
"No."
"Pretty please?"
"No."
"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
"You're acting five now."
"I'll buy you ice cream."
"You're annoying me. Go away."
"Oh come on Lisbon, where's you're sense of humor? I know you want to. You want to so badly...just give into temptation...please?"
"No, I will not let you carry me off on one of your little escapades just so I can get fired."
"Just one little prank, that's all I ask."
"No."
"I'll buy you dinner!" He said enticingly.
"Asshole!" She snapped back.
"I hardly think I'm an ass for trying."
Lisbon rolled her eyes, "The answer is no Jane, I will not put my job in jeopardy like some of us do!"
Jane pursed his lips for a moment...obviously this was not working and he needed a new idea. Then, it popped into his head. he smiled mischiefiously.
The next think Lisbon knew, Jane's hands were on her back massaging her shoulders.
"I think I know what you're problem is Lisbon." He said.
She stayed quiet, definitely shocked.
"Don't be so tense..." He mumured in her ear. She almost wanted to shiver but withheld.
"Jane. Enough." She said in a stern/warning voice.
He sighed as he stopped and walked back around to the front of her desk, "Fine." He said as he finally gave in.
She just smiled triumphantly.
"You're no fun." He pouted as he walked over to his desk, he started to put on his jacket.
"Where are you going? You're not leaving are you?" She asked.
Jane smiled slyly but she didn't notice, "Uh, yeah...you can come too if you want...the offer still stands my dear. But I guess you'll just sit there all day, slowly sinking into insanity while I actually do something."
Lisbon frowned, he had to bring up the boredom....She sighed. He was right...either stay here and go insane or cease the day and be fun! The choice was hers...
"Fine." She mumbled as she got up.
Jane turned around, "About damn time!" he said with a victorious smiled. Obviously pleased with himself that he was able to reel in Lisbon in his little 'Joke fest'.
"You're such a spontaneous little bastered. You know that right?"
Jane chuckled, "Yes...and you like it." He said jokingly, just hoping it would get a rise out of her.
And it did.
"I do not!"
Jane didn't reply, his smile just widened. From behind him he heard Lisbon call out, "And an egotistical one too!"
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Twenty minutes later Jane and Lisbon had arrived back at the office. Both had gone down to the store because Jane had said they needed some 'supplies'.
They had bought Crazy glue, paste, blank paper, walkie talkies, baby powder, spray paint, Shampoo, hair gel, marbles, a customized neon sign, spraying hair color, water balloons, fake bugs, and goo.
"Why do I feel like I'm twelve again?" Asked Lisbon.
"Probably because that's the last time you had fun." Countered Jane with a smirk.
Lisbon hit him atop the head, "Ow! not so hard!" Replied Jane.
Lisbon smiled.
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The first thing they did when they got back to the office was fill his 'comfy shoes' with goo. Then put the customized neon sign that read 'Heart's Van Pelt' , then switched his hair gel with hair 'coloring' gel...which happened to be pink. Tomorrow they would arrive early, before anyone else and crazy glue his computer key bored.
For Van Pelt, they threw the fake bugs down by her chair and scattered them under her desk. They hung fake spiders from her lamp and refilled her perfume bottle with water.
After Van Pelt, Jane and Lisbon split up. Jane went into Minnelli's office while Lisbon dealt with Cho's desk. They communicated through the walkie talkies.
For Minnelli, Jane decided to take his plan to maximum level. Jane hid all of Minnelli's personal and highly beneficial documents in his desk drawer and replaced them with sheet's of blank paper and five year old drawings. Next he took Minnelli's special hand soap and refilled it with paste and glue.
For Cho, Lisbon decided to use the baby powder and poured it in all of his desk drawers. Next, she took the crazy glue and glued two pieces of his new novel together. Then she too a bag of marbles and spread them out across his desk and followed it up by gluing the ends of his swivel char to the floor. Tomorrow when she and Jane would arrive, they would also crazy glue the start button on his computer. After that, she switched Cho's hairspray with red spray paint and then contacted Jane to meet her back at her desk.
They would also fill up the water balloons tomorrow so when Cho, Van Pelt, and Rigbsy would walk by, Jane and Lisbon would 'anonymously'' throw it at them.
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Proud at what they'd done they were now happily sitting among the couch...laughing hysterically.
"I can't believe we just did that!" Laughed Lisbon.
Jane was laughing to hard to reply.
"What do you want to do now?" She asked. She still had the adrenaline rush and was ready to do some more fun.
Jane stopped laughing and looked around the room. When he came across Cho's desk he smiled evilly, "Want to hack into Cho's computer?"
Lisbon's eyes widened, "That's illigal! And bad and we'd be invading Cho's most personal thoughts and files..." Jane's sinister smile widened, "I know."
Lisbon smiled evilly, "I am so in. Let's freakin do it!"
Jane laughed, "I've taught you well!"
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It didn't take long to hack into Cho's computer, with the help of Jane Lisbon had cracked his password in less that a minute.
"Are you sure?" Asked Lisbon, "Is that really going to be his password?"
Jane nodded, "Do it." he commanded.
Lisbon complied and typed in 'Kimball Cho; sexiest man alive.'
Lisbon and Jane busted out laughing, "Oh my God!" They choked out.
After they were safely in his computer they looked around for anything interesting or embarrassing but found nothing.
"Nothing good. Cho seems to be a very boring person after all..." Said Lisbon.
Jane smiled cunningly, "Oh Please, Cho is a man, and not just any man, a single man. And like all men like that, he has a weakness."
Jane typed in something but it was so fast Lisbon couldn't read it and then *poof* all of Cho's favorites were up.
"Oh....My....God...." They said in unison.
There up on the screen was a bunch of swimsuit models from Sports illistrated and Playboy...surrounding none other than Kimball Cho.
"Seems Cho is quite the player." Mumbled Jane as he got close ups. he then started to print them out, Lisbon gave him a wtf face.
"Black mail." Was all he said.
Just then a file popped up on the screen that read 'Cho's personal story'
Jane and Lisbon shared a glance before unregrettably clicking it.
They scanned over it for a while, "Well, well, well, it seems Cho has been documenting his thoughts and opinions into a story."
Lisbon half smiled, "No wonder he's so quiet."
Jane nodded and they scanned over it until they came across an interesting paragraph. It read;
'My next sighting that I seem to be seeing more often is that Rigsby and Van Pelt can't take their eyes off each other. When ever Van Pelt looks away I can see Rigsby look adoringly at her. The way he thinks lovingly about her and I know that his affections are truly deep. It doesn't take a 'mentalist' to figure it out either. All the hope filled glares and tension filled moments are truly an inspiration to me and to others alike. I personally think that they are secret lovers.
Jane and Lisbon read through some more, laughing hard every now and then at the ridiculously funny theories Cho had come up with. Until one theory made them stop dead in their tracks.
And it read:
My next theory that I firmly believe in, is that my boss, Theresa Lisbon and my colleague, Mentalist Patrick Jane are secret lovers as well.
Jane looked at Lisbon, shock evident on both their faces, "Well I sure as hell didn't see that one coming."
Lisbon nodded, it was beginning to get just a little awkward now. But they kept on reading...
I think that they are secretly meeting up after hours and that the closet is their number one place for them to confide to themselves.
Jane shook his head, "He's such an idiot."
Lisbon nodded, "Cho's about as right as you are wrong."
Jane sighed, "No I mean, I wouldn't take you to a closet...it have to be a place much more romantic...like....the interrogation room or...we'd skip the after hours thing and go straight to dinner or something..."
Lisbon rolled her eyes, "You're pathetic...and so is Cho if he thinks that we are 'secret lovers'."
Jane smiled, "Pathetic or phsyco."
Lisbon half smiled, "Who knows, based on what we've found out about him today...he probably is."
Jane rolled his eyes and read aloud the reasons for why he came to the conclusion;
1: They are always glancing at each other when the other isn't looking.
2: They seem to have a lot of 'inside jokes'
3: They have several things in common and several things you could contrast, thus making them equal...the opposites attract theory.
4: Both have had bad personal life histories.
5: Neither one can stay mad at the other for a total of five minutes.
6: The boss always backs Jane's ideas up...no matter how stupid or impossible.
7: Both have secretly admitted that the other one is cute...but slowly put in a friend way just after the let it slip.
8: Both are way to protective of each other.
9: Both seem to like to be able to joke around and team up...they are always partners...give or take a few cases.
10: It's just plain obvious.
An awkward silence passed by before Lisbon's brain cells started to work again. She turned off Cho's computer and walked back to her desk.
She thought that now was the best time to get back to work. Afterall, they had already killed about four hours already and still had a desk full of paper work.
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Jane and Lisbon worked thoroughly and silently for an hour and a half until Jane became restless and got up.
"Do we really do what all those reasons say we do?" He asked.
Lisbon buried her head deeper into her work, "Um...you're the Mentalist, you tell me."
Jane sighed, "I asked you first."
Lisbon sighed, "I think that Cho is just lonely and trying to play matchmaker."
"So...no?"
Lisbon rolled her eyes, "Well...no...I mean yeah...we kind of do."
Jane half smiled, "So you did admit that I was cute?"
Lisbon blushed, "Yes but in a friend kind of way...you said the same thing."
Jane looked away, "Do you think that if by some chance we ever do get together...do you think we'd work out?"
Lisbon didn't say anything.
"Lisbon...look at me."
She ignored him.
"Lisbon?"
She started to write faster on the file.
"Theresa."
That did it, she slowly looked up at him. An annoyed expression on her face.
"What!" She snapped. This was definitely not something she wanted to talk about.
Jane smiled, he always did love making her mad. It made her look really cute.
"Do you think we'd work out or not...and do you think he's wrong..."
Lisbon took a deep breath, "I don't know, you're usually the one with the 'Good hunches' and feeling and stuff..."
She waited for him to reply but he didn't. He just stood there looking at her with those penetrating eyes.
He stared at her for a good while, as if he was looking deep into her soul.
After another minute he finally spoke up, "You're confused."
Lisbon wanted to strangle him. He made her so self conscious just to tell her that?
What. The. Hell?
"No duh Sherlock, did it really take you that long to figure it out?"
Jane half smiled, "No, I figured it out long ago...I was just voicing it now."
She raised her eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. Which he did.
"You want Cho's reasons to be right...but yet at the same time you don't...You like the idea of us being a couple but you'd hate mixing your personal life with your professional one. It goes against everything you stand for."
Lisbon was silent, lost for words.
His eyes seemed to darken as he continued, "You...also don't think I'm ready to move on...you think I might just be using you to fill the void...and you don't want to get hurt."
Lisbon looked to the floor, "I...don't know what I want...you're wrong."
Jane walked closer to her and lifted her chin up with his fingers, "Are you sure about that?" He asked, silently telling her that he knew she was lying.
Lisbon averted her eyes away from his, "You're not ready, I can see it in your eyes...the pain that you go through everyday...and the fact that you think about them all the time...I know how much you loved them and I know how much you want to avenge them. I feel that if we start dating, you'll think I'm trying to replace her...but I'm not."
Jane sighed and closed his eyes, when he opened them he looked deep into hers, "Do you want to know what I think? I think that it's been five years since the death of my wife and daughter...I will always love them and I will continue to think about them everyday. I will kill Red John...and I will pay the price for it. But I'm tired of going home every night to an empty house, I'm tired of being lonely everyday and I'm tired of only living for revenge. I want to love too...and I think I might find that...here with you."
Lisbon stared at him.
Here, right in front of her eyes, was a man that could drive her crazy in one minute and then calm in the next. A man that had just told her he wanted to be with her and possibly love her...if she gave him the chance.
She'd been to his house before and she knew what dwelled on his bedroom wall right above his bed...She couldn't handle it and so she ran.
So then what was she so certain that she could handle it now?
'Because Patrick will be there.' Said a little voice in her head.
'And not just as a friend this time.'
She was pulled out of her thoughts by how close she and Jane had gotten. Their faces were just mere inches apart.
She looked into his eyes and for once they were filled with emotion.
Deep emotion.
All the feelings that he had kept locked up for so long were finally revealing themselves.
Love, lust, gentleness, hurt, pain, betrayal, anger, hate, guilt. All of them.
So affected was she by this new and rare moment that it took her a few seconds to realize that his lips were on hers.
She kissed him back almost instantly and he replied with the same passion.
His lips fit perfectly against hers, so warm and tender. She relished in the feeling that had now overcome her.
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When they broke apart, both were breathing heavily.
Jane and Lisbon stared at each other, "I think this might work out." He said.
Lisbon smiled, "Me too." She replied and then went in for another passionate kiss.
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After a few more moments both decided to go to their respectable homes and patiently await the unruly demise of their comrades.
When they arrived early the next morning, they greeted each other with a short kiss and added the finishing touches to their pranks. (Crazy gluing Rigsby's keyboard and Cho's start button, and filling up the water balloons.)
Then sat down at their respectable desks, smiling evilly.
At the first sign of Rigsby's voice they stuck their arms out the window and threw threw the balloons. Screams of terror and surprise made their sinister smiles widen in delight.
Afterwards, Jane saw Rigsby, Cho, and Van Pelt come in totally saturated. Angry looking expressions told everyone to back off. Minnelli was the next one to come in.
Jane immediatly grabbed Lisbon's arm and took her into the interrogation room.
"You do not want to be here for what's going to happen next." He said.
She smiled and kissed him, he kissed her back, "I can deal with that."
And as they were in the middle of a deep kiss they heard the angry screaming, shouts, and protesting from their team.
"JANE!!!" They all yelled simultaneously.
Jane smiled against Lisbon's lips.
Little did they know, he had an accomplice.
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Hope you guys liked it. Please read and review! Thanks!
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Blink182lover4life ^_^