The wind blew across my face as I stood on the balcony of my Upper East side penthouse. The winter air was bitingly cold as I stood in my boxers and tee-shirt, but I barely felt it. My mind was racing, I could barely believe what had happened last night. Images raced through my mind as I though about it, making me turn and look through the balcony door to my bed. There lay my best friend Nathaniel, in a deep and peaceful sleep.
I suddenly felt the cold right to the core of my body, but soon it was washed away as feeling returned to me in a wave of heat. Thoughts of last night raced through my mind. Nate's hands on my body, my hands running through his hair, my lips on his. I suddenly wanted nothing more than to go to him and let all the thoughts go in a rush of warm bodies and wandering hands.
I shook myself vigorously and went back into my suite. Walking to the kitchen, my mind was racing, but with very different thoughts. How had this happened, when did my feelings for Nate cross the line from friendly to this? What would people think if they found out? But most of all, I worried this would damage our friendship. I didn't want to lose my best friend.
It was only then, standing in the sunlight kitchen, that I realised I wasn't alone. Nate walked past me awkwardly, having dressed himself in his clothes from last night. "Hey Chuck," he said " Last night was… weird huh". He laughed nervously, obviously unsure how to handle the situation. I laughed back, attempting to smile. "Yeah, a bit to much to drink man. No big. So what are the plans today? Going to school or maybe have a drink in the bar?" "I don't know, maybe we should go to school, after all, what if… it happened again?" he said, some emotion I couldn't read crossing his face.
I felt my face go red as I realised that the feelings that I had just recently discovered had just been rejected already. "Hey man, that's cool. You go to school, ill be in for second period English. I got some stuff to do." "Yeah see you later dude." Nate said, smiling, something like relief crossing his face.
Nate said his goodbyes and left to get a cab home to get ready for schools. As the door shut behind him, I felt myself fill with a crushing weight. I slumped against a wall and slid down to the floor as I felt tears spring to my eyes. Why did I feel this horrible, Nate had just been a friend until last night, he still was just a friend. Get a grip man, I though to myself. But it didn't make any difference, the tears still came, until an hour later I dragged myself up to shower and go to school. Time to go back to normality. Time to go back to a world id enjoyed before last night.
Walking into English late, I took my seat at the back of the class as usual. My seat next to Nate. He smiled at me as I sat down, the same usual, openly friendly smile he gave me. Things back to normal for him already. I smiled back, feeling my heart sinking at the smile. There was nothing more in the smile, just friendship. None of the feeling I now felt had taken effect on Nate.
An hour later Nate and I walked through the gates of our High School to go down the street for lunch, Lighting a cigarette on the way, I passed the lighter to Nate, feeling a jolt go through me as my fingers brushed his. "So, what's the plan tonight Chuck, strip club or bar hopping?" Nate asked casually, taking a drag of his cigarette through his lips. I stopped and took a proper look at Nate for the first time since last night. Everything about him was the same, but so different. His medium length brown hair that hung down to his eyes seemed beautiful and made me want to run my fingers through it. His blue eyes suddenly seemed breathtaking, piercing into mine. His face was a landscape of perfect angles and bone structure. His school uniform fit is body like a perfectly tailored glove, making me think of the toned, glorious body underneath. I chased the thoughts away and quickly stammered an answer, "Uh, I don't know, whatever you want." "Are you alright Chuck? You seem kind of distant." Nate asked with concern, obviously worried about his best friend. I wonder would he be worried if he knew what I was thinking.
"I'm fine, listen, I'm going to go back to the suite, swing by later if you want to go out." I said, hailing a taxi as I spoke, "What's wrong Chuck? You've been off since… since last night." he said. So he had finally mentioned it, I was beginning to wonder if I'd imagined it. "I'm fine, I've just, got to go." I said, jumping in the taxi and giving the driver directions.
As I watched the streets pass me by I began thinking of everything that could go wrong if what happened got out to the public. All the problems it could cause. It just so happens one of those problems was waiting for me in my hotel lobby.
Blaire stood in the lobby waiting for me, her chestnut hair curled lightly and coming down past her shoulders elegantly. Her school uniform looked equally elegant and the accessories matching it perfectly. All in all she looked like her entire outfit had been carefully composed and thought out. The look on her face was anything but composed as she walked towards me.
"What happened last night Chuck?" she demanded angrily, staring into my eyes defiantly. Shock flowed through me straight away. How had she found out? Had someone seen Nate and I? One of the staff? I stifled the panic rising in me and tried to smirk amusedly at her. "Whatever do you mean Blair?" I asked. "You know what I mean Chuck. Nate was supposed to be coming back to my apartment last night after his ridiculous night out with you. He never showed up. What happened?" I breathed a sigh of relief inside. She didn't know, everything was fine, the world wasn't going to come crashing down around me. "I don't know what you mean Blaire, Nate didn't tell me about any plans, now if you'll excuse me, I'm heading upstairs. Pleasure as always Blaire." I shot her a sly smile as I slipped by her and into an elevator to take me to my penthouse.
That was something I hadn't considered, what if Nate's girlfriend Blaire found out. I'm sure she would try to bring all the wrath she could muster as a popular New York sociality down on me. Not that I couldn't muster just as much support as her, it just didn't seem fair that I'd done something damaging to her and she didn't even know. She was just angry because Nate hadn't shown up last night. If only she knew the truth, she'd be furious.
I thought about all of this as I walked through my apartment into my kitchen to make myself a drink. I quickly swigged the scotch down and poured myself some more, taking the glass and bottle into the bedroom with me. I sat there on my bed, drinking, and wondering what mess I had gotten myself into. As the time passed and the alcohol flowed, I slowly began to drift into a blissful sleep, where nothing but thought of Nate's perfect lips on mine entered my mind.