Vala put a rose on the coffin. She placed a gentle hand on top of it and tried her best to hold back tears. She just stared, maybe even for a moment longer then she should have. She was frozen in that moment, like it was a terrible dream and she would wake up right then.
It was the tears that brought her back to reality. She turned away and folded herself into Sam's embrace. She felt Cam's hand embrace her shoulder as he tried to comfort her. She knew it wasn't fair, he had been their friend too; she wasn't the only one who was mourning.
She'd heard all those stories about how he'd come back. Again and again. But this time was different. This time there was no coming back. She felt for sure that it was over.
"He's gone Sam," she whispered through the tears. She felt Sam's arms tighten around her. She cried and whispered to herself. "He's gone."
----Vala didn't know why they called it 'wake', all she felt like doing was curling up and falling asleep. Daniel would have understood. He would have told her to go upstairs and rest her head. But Vala couldn't escape Sam's living room. Everyone was compelled by the urge to comfort her, which wasn't very helpful considering she would much rather have been alone.
She listened to all of their stories about him. He seemed like a heroic, moralistic sweetheart, which frankly Vala had always known. Still no one wanted to tell the stories she wanted to hear. She wanted to hear all the stories about how he was a pain in the ass, about how he was irritable and deranged. All Vala wanted to hear were the stories about her Daniel.
Finally Sam must have gotten the hint. It was getting late, well not really late more like seven in the evening, but Vala was exhausted. Sam finally pulled Vala into the kitchen away from the crowd.
"How you doing?" Sam asked, as she went back to finish making the coffee.
Vala sat down and shrugged. Everyone kept asking that, as if they expected her response to be anything but miserable. She'd actually given up answering the question; she'd just smile and nod, no one really wanted to know the truth.
"Do you think I could get a ride back to the mountain?" Vala asked. She was fiddling through a bowl of M&Ms. "I think I need some sleep." She wanted to go back to the base and curl up in one of his sweaters.
Sam nodded and went into the living room with a pot of coffee. Alone for a few moments Vala tried to think what she would do with her life now that he was gone. She guessed she would stay with SG-1. If it wasn't too hard that is. She needed her friends right now, and they needed her. He wouldn't want her to leave and that made her smile and cry at the same time.
"Hey?"
She turned to see Jack O'Neil, standing in the doorway. She smiled and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"Sam says you need a ride?"
Vala got to her feet and rubbed the non-existent wrinkles out of her skirt. "That's okay." She hadn't thought Sam would ask Jack to drive her. She didn't want to take him away from his friends. "I can just ask one of the airmen."
Jack waved a hand to stop her. "Don't worry," Jack told her. "Frankly I need to get away. Everyone keeps asking me 'how are you doing?' It's driving me crazy."
Vala raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. "Too many people trying to comfort you?"
Jack gave a quick nod. He started heading for the front door. "Come on," he said quietly. "Before they realize we're trying to escape."
Vala laughed softly and followed Jack out the door. They were in the car and buckled up before Cam stuck his head out the front door. He started to walk towards them, but Vala wasn't going to wait to see what he had to say. She grabbed Jack's arm and stared into his eyes. "Drive!"
Jack started the car and they were down the road before Cam even made it down the front steps.
Vala sat back in her seat. She was glad for some silence and some peace. She understood now why Sam and picked Jack to drive her. Jack wasn't going to force her to talk. Jack valued the silence as much as she did.
The drive felt shorter than usual. The sight of the mountain had never been so beautiful to Vala. Jack stopped the car and waited for her to get out. They sat next to each other for a moment, not saying anything neither one of them moving. Vala wondered what he was going to say, if he was going to ask her something.
Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Vala moved before he could say a word. She gave him a quick kiss on his check and rested a friendly hand in his forearm.
"Thank you," she said and turned away, getting out of the car.
"Hey," Jack said, stopping her by grabbing her arm.
Vala turned and stared at him. She wondered how often she'd given Daniel that look of confusion.
"You gonna be okay?" Jack asked letting her arm go.
Vala smiled. She didn't have a real answer to that question, but she was glad he had asked. She nodded and got out without saying another word.
----Vala was glad to be on the nearly empty base. Tomorrow morning it would be full again, everyone would be back to business. It wouldn't be that easy for her, but she'd be willing to try if she got some sleep.
She went to the room that she had been sharing with Daniel for the past three months. It felt cold without him. She looked around at all his things. She didn't know what she was going to do with all his stuff. She didn't want to sell it, but she knew she couldn't keep it all. Maybe she would donate it. Some museum would probably want Daniel's junk.
She smiled to herself and went over to the dresser. All his clothes were still there. The dresser smelt like him. She took of her solemn dress and grabbed one of his sweaters and pajama pants. She was going to miss that smell.
She put on his clothes and went to the bed. She clutched his pillow and hugged it close. She curled up under the covers and tried to forget that the past few days had happened. She tried to imagine that Daniel was just offworld, on some mission to look at Ancient artifacts. She tried to imagine he would come back any moment, and he would creep into the room, quietly tiptoeing around so he wouldn't wake her.
She started to sob. Her imagination wasn't that good. She didn't think she'd be sleeping at all.
----Vala woke up with the oddest feeling. She felt her belly; she knew this feeling all to well. She was pregnant, and quite a few months along. Then Vala felt even more terrified. There were two warm arms wrapped around her, and she could feel a body pressed against her back. There was a cheek resting against her own, and the soft comforting smell of…
"Daniel?" she whispered the word like a half cry.
"Hmm?" She heard the sound softly in her ear and she knew for sure.
She jumped up quickly, throwing him off her and probably giving him whiplash. She stared at the body beside her, it was Daniel.
"What is it?" his concerned voice stuttered. He was searching for his glasses on the nightstand.
Vala looked around. She wasn't on the base. This was Daniel's apartment; she'd spent enough nights here to know the place. The morning light was peaking through window, making the place a touch warmer than usual.
Vala knew this was a dream, there was no other explanation. Then she felt Daniel shift in the bed and rub her back.
"What's wrong?"
Vala stared at him. He felt so real. How could a dream feel this real? "You… were… you are…" she was trying to get the words out but all she manage was sobs. She started gasping, her sobs growing deeper and this place feeling more real every second.
Daniel was sitting up beside her now. "What is it?" His hand was still rubbing her back. She looked into his eyes and saw that loving concern she'd only seen a few times before.
She couldn't help it. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She rested her head in the nitch between his shoulder and his neck and continued to sob. Daniel furrowed his brow with worry but he just held her close and didn't say another word.
Vala breathed in his scent. Even if this was just a dream, somehow she felt it was right. The only person who could really comfort her right now was her Daniel.
----Daniel carried her to the living room sofa and sat down placing her on his lap. Vala had stopped crying eventually but she wouldn't let go of him. He had taken her to the living room in the hopes she'd talk.
"Vala," his soft voice said rubbing a hand across her cheek. She loosened her grip a little and looked into his eyes. Daniel had never seen her cry like this; she had always been so strong. Even when she had been having nightmares she hadn't cried, not like this. He felt helpless; he had no idea what to do with a crying woman, let alone with a crying Vala.
Vala just looked at him. She'd woken up in a different world, and it was magical and wonderful. She knew things about this world that she had no idea how she could know. Her Daniel had survived and they were living out their happy ever after. She felt the ring on her that she somehow remembered Daniel giving her six months ago, right before they'd found out about the baby. Vala stared into those bleu eyes, and knew somehow this was just too real to be a dream.
"What's going on?" Daniel asked pushing her hair behind her ear.
Vala gave him a weak smile. Where was she supposed to start? She let out a deep sigh and tried to start. She could feel the lump in her throat reforming and her eyes warming with tears. "We…" she took a deep breath and tried to steady her voice. Daniel's hand slid up and down her arm in a way that seemed soothing. She started again. "Yesterday, we buried you."
Daniel looked at her confused. "What?"
She didn't know how to tell him this without sounding crazy. "The mission to P3X-929…" she took a deep breath again. She was going to start sobbing again.
Daniel just shook his head. "Vala that was six months ago," Daniel told her still with a hint of confusion.
Vala just looked at him. How could she explain that two worlds were colliding? "What happened on that mission?" She needed to know what his version was, because her version just made her want to start sobbing again.
Daniel sighed and tilted his head as if trying to remember exactly what had occurred. "We came under fire," he started looking at her for recognition. Vala nodded and he continued. "Umm… we ran and we gated home." It was something that was happening on a surprising number of planets these days which was why Daniel didn't understand why it would make Vala ball her eyes out.
Vala shook her head in a heartfelt protest. "That's not what happened," her voice was quiet. She didn't know what to say next. "You died."
Vala saw Daniel's face change from confusion to concern and back again. "You must have been dreaming," he tried to tell her. It seemed the only logical explanation, either that or Vala had finally lost it. Daniel poked himself in the chest. "See," he said with a sincere smile. "Still alive."
Vala gave him a weak laugh. She rested her head against his chest and breathed in his scent, his totally alive and totally Daniel scent. Maybe this was real. She remembered the last six months with clarity, and there was no way she could deny those memories were real. Vala knew though that memories could be altered, so maybe the last six months weren't real. Maybe she was trying to compensate for the tragedy by creating an alternate fantasy where she would always have her Daniel. Vala sighed; she didn't know what to think.
"It was real Daniel," she told him slowly. "I wouldn't be able to dream something that terrible."
Daniel rested his head on top of hers. He sighed, he had no idea what to say to her. "We can talk to the doctor tomorrow," Daniel told her, only taking her remarks with mock sincerity. "She'll be able to see if your memories have been altered, or if you've been taken to an Alternate Reality or... whatever."
Somehow Vala knew he didn't believe her. Why would he? Still she knew he would do anything to comfort her. Daniel loved her, there was no doubt about that. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close.
"Do you want to go back to bed?" Daniel's voice softly whispered in her ear.
Vala shook her head and closed her eyes.
"Is there something I can do?" Daniel asked, a question he asked her a lot. He asked her namely out of worry but they both knew it was a sign of love and commitment. Vala heard the question and felt like her heart was going to explode.
She released her arms and grabbed his. She wrapped his arms tight around her body. "Hold me," she told him. She placed her arms back around his neck and rested her head. Before long she was drifting off to sleep. Daniel's chest falling up and down; his warm breath against her neck; and his arms tightly wrapped around her, all comforted her enough that for that moment she truly believed this life was real.