Seriously, this was a DARE, by Leesh, {Vanity Sinning Starship Ranger} but you know, I was giving out weird pairings too, (we're talking VernonScabiorSortinghat & ) so yeah, we're just weird over at the NextGen Fanatics.
Warning; If you're scarred for life, I apologise.
;)
Alright, alright, this is so cracky it doesn't even deserve a disclaimer, but I have to.
'I dare you to write a LuciusGildorySnape bromance, with the prompts: Laughter, "I'm more beautiful!" "No I'm more beautiful!", and careless'
Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own any AVPM/S you may notice, or any characters or anything apart from my own crackiness.
Lucius Malfoy was sat in his home, the home with the unknown location, sipping tea through a bendy straw with SpongeBob Squarepants on the end, smiling down at Lucius.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the front door, and just as Lucius got up to get it, it was kicked down by an incredibly beautiful man with sexy hair that was far too greasy and some darling pink robes on.
Pink robes and greasy hair are really in right now, and the man who had just kicked down his door wanted oh so badly to be a male model.
"Severus, my darling, what brings you here?" Lucius said, patting down his Hannah Montana t-shirt and smiling.
You see, Lucius Malfoy was no ordinary death eater; he was a gay death eater.
"Well, baby," Severus said, in that careless 'I'm sexier than you because I can ride a broomstick' way of his, that made Lucius want to melt, and go kill some Muggles, "I think I've found a free bitch to join our ghost-buster squad, he's completely insane."
"Oh really? Is that so?" Lucius asked, casually plaiting his hair on one side.
"Baby, are you questioning me?" Severus said, putting a hand on his hip.
"No, my darling, who is he? Is he sexier than us?"
"No-one is sexier than us, baby" Severus said, flicking some greasy hair over his shoulder and strutting towards Lucius, "His name… "Severus pushed his robes back, and did an elegant ballet leap, landing in front of Lucius, "…Is Gilderoy… LOCKHEART!" and suddenly, a tall man wearing neon yellow robes cartwheeled in.
"Hello, there, chums, my name… is… Dobby, AND I'M A FREE BITCH, BABY"
"Alright, alright Gilly, save it for our missions, babes" Severus said, holding out a hand to Gilderoy.
"Sorry, who are you again?" At this, Lucius burst into rambunctious laughter.
"Why HIM?" he asked, stylishly rolling on the floor like he had seen his son do a few times before.
"Well, my dear Lou, he's got the style" and with that, a bunch of death eaters with cameras ran out of nowhere and started taking pictures of Severus and Gilderoy as they posed, Lucius stopped laughing, jumped up, and did some ballet for the death eaters, who wolf whistled several times.
"But, Sevvy, so have I!" Lucius complained as his turned around to show off his freshly tied up French plait, "Plus! I'm beautiful!"
"I'm more beautiful!" Gilderoy complained, turning from where he was posing to face the two adults wearing skirts.
"No, I'M more beautiful!" Severus said, flicking his greasy hair over his shoulder and grinning at the cameras, "Because I'm worth it" he said, with a final wink.
But suddenly, Bill Weasley appeared at the front door, frowning, "I'm looking for my boyfriend, have you- oh! Why, there he is!"
"I'm staying here though, these two men are rather sexy, do you have a problem with that?" Gilderoy asked, turning to his boyfriend, with a hand on his hip.
"Yeah, got a problem, Weasley?" Draco, Lucius' son said, appearing from the ground.
But suddenly, there was a loud bang from the middle of nowhere, as SpongeBob Squarepants – Lucius' hero – jumped off his bendy straw, and looked Lucius up and down before giggling.
And unfortunately, my friends, this is where our extremely cracky and stupid fic finishes, but if you're wondering how it ends…
Let's just say…
They all slept very well that night.
I don't blame you if you hate me after this, even I hate me after this. :P
alright, I kindamaybehope you like this.
Reveiw if you want, or don't, I don't mind, You can if you want.
- Aly.