Disclaimer: -sigh- I would love to tell you I owned Kingdom Hearts, but sadly, I don't.
-Sigh- so instead, the best I can do is writing about my favorite game. So no, I do not own it; I merely fantasize about it everyday. Yep, yep.
Story: Fears Lie Within the HeartI carefully watched my friend's reactions, looking for what I had seen before. There it was! The shadowed features before he hid them behind a fake smile. Not many could tell when Sora had on a fake smile, but I considered myself an expert at doing just that, telling when Sora was genuinely happy or just faking it for the rest of us.
Before the whole ordeal of Kingdom Hearts, there was never a fake smile on Sora's face.
Now was different. Something was troubling my friend deeply, so deeply I hardly saw a genuine smile. I had figured it was because we were turning back into our normal lives. We were coming out of the mind of always having to fight and watch our backs to just making sure we had our homework in on time.
We had a lot of catching up to do from missing from school for two years. Even Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie had to help us out in some instances when our homework begun to overwhelm us.
Not that I'd admit that. Sora would though. He was just that kind of guy.
School didn't seem to be the problem, though my friend had been stressed by the sudden workload in the first few weeks.
To think, it'd only been two months since Sora defeated Organization 13 at last, and we'd finally made it back home, all together like we'd left it.
I'd rather go back to the outside worlds from our own, and I had a distinct feeling Sora would like to do just that sometimes too. It was hard coming back from that reality to this one. Kairi was certainly helping us re-adjust, as she had done that over a year ago. She'd been the only one to return after the first time Kingdom Hearts was sealed by the Keyblade Master, or at least one of them. She was a great gal, but she was more comfortable in this reality then Sora or me could ever be at the moment.
I'd noticed that too. The small changes in Sora that had taken from the last time I had seen him, when I had been locked in Kingdom Hearts because I couldn't pass through the door only dark creatures could and I was no longer of the dark, to when he'd seen my as Ansem. Or to put in more correctly, Xehenort's Heartless.
I couldn't believe Sora had forgiven me so quickly for everything that could've came between us that I had done. Needless to say, I though of friendship could never be what it used to be.
'Riku! I already forgave you for it. I'm not going to hold it against you!'
Still, Sora could be as childish as he ever was in those instances when he was in deep thought about whatever it was that was troubling him. He still had his moments of seriousness though.
'Riku, you need to forgive yourself first. Stop worrying about others forgiving you. You wanna know what my mom said a long time ago. She said that you had to forgive yourself for things, and once that was done and you looked around, you'd see that everyone else had already forgiven you.'
Sora was always one you could turn to for those kind of insightful things. He was in his element talking about that.
Enough about forgiveness though, that's not what I meant to go out on a limb over. I was going to figure out what was troubling Sora so much, and I was going to do it soon.
It was just around sunset the first time I tried to breach what was troubling Sora so much. It was a Saturday, meaning we finally had a day off from homework and we both could actually get some sleep. Homework usually kept us up till ll: 30 at night, not leaving much time for sleep. And that's what we both needed. With it being the one day we got to stay up as late as we wanted and sleep in as late as we wanted, I figured it would be a good day to try to figure this out.
We were on the outstretched island, the island separated from the rest of the play island by that one long bridge, both in our normal positions. Me sitting on the Paupo tree's branch and him just leaning on it with his hands behind his head and one foot tucked behind the other in a comfortable gesture.
I turned my gaze from the sunset for a moment, catching one again the dark look crossing his face. Now that I knew I was always looking for that expression, I found that it often crossing Sora's face. In the times when we weren't doing homework or his mind wasn't occupied and left to its own means, it would cross. Something was up. I glanced back up towards the sunset, leaning back onto my hands slightly, figuring out the best way to start the conversation. Now that I had finally got into a position where I would ask what the problem was, I didn't know how to start it.
It was rather frustrating for me.
"So…" a casual starter, it was always the best way to approach any awkward situation. Not that Sora seemed awkward at the moment, just me.
"Hm…?"Sora directed half of his attention at me, turning his head ever so slightly so he could look at me, but yet have some of his attention at the falling sun. Pretty soon it'd be dark.
"Anything going on?" I questioned, a bit hesitantly. If Sora noticed my hesitation, he didn't say anything on it.
"Nope." He answered casually. Though the response was fast, almost like it was automatic, it was too fast. Frankly, I didn't believe that something was not going on.
"You sure?" I questioned a bit further. I leaned ever so slightly forward, so I could look at Sora directly in the eye. It didn't work because as soon as I had leaned forward, Sora had turned his head towards the ocean to watch the sun fully diminished beyond the horizon.
"Yep." He replied, and then glanced at me again fully avoiding my eyes. He knew just as much as I did how bad of a liar he could be if he looked the person, he was telling the lie to, in the eye. Just something else to further my suspicions, not to add that yet another fake smile was on. "Come on, lets get back before it gets too dark to row." He said easily, totally avoiding my questions I had stocked up and ending the conversation then and there.
I sighed, agreeing. "Sure, lets go." You may have won with the sidetracking maneuver this time, but I will try again. I will find out what's wrong. At least I hoped I would. I hadn't known Sora had gotten better at sidetracking conversations till now.
I hadn't gotten Sora alone again for a while now. Ever since last Saturday, he was avoiding me. He knew I knew something was bothering him, and whatever was bothering him he didn't want me to know for whatever reason. I thought a few times that maybe whatever bothering Sora was because of me, but then all the talks of forgiveness with Sora ran through my head, I then I dismissed that though.
Now, I wasn't so sure if I should have.
If I tried to confront Sora about this while we were with Selphie or Kairi, that would bring more people into what was going on and for some reason, I doubted Sora wanted that. He wasn't even telling me what was going on, so something had to be up that he didn't want us to worry about.
The truth be told, it was worrying more then anything Sora could've told me. Sora could've told me that our world was exploding tomorrow, and I'd be relieved that he told someone what was bothering him lately. Not that the world was exploding tomorrow, and Sora would tell if that was the case. Okay, bad example, but people would know what I mean there when I say that.
Thing is, I finally got him after school, Wednesday to be exact. It was the day we got off a bit early from school, only about twenty minutes early. Twenty minutes less of school was better then anything though. Sora would usually dart into the library after school since he knew I was trying to corner him. There he would meet up with Kairi, since she was an assistant in that and she helped the last hour of the day there. She had a free period, and she spent it in the library. I'd never understand why'd she'd do that, but she did. From there, Sora would walk with her home, and I'd usually be there too, walking on the other side of Kairi.
Sometimes Sora would be genuinely happy talking to Kairi and me walking home, but there were times when the expression resurfaced itself, before he caught his expression and changed it. I wondered if Kairi had caught it sometimes. I had found out yesterday that she had been growing worried also. She had called me about schoolwork, and our talk had taken a turn to Sora's behavior lately. She started to notice that dark look also, and asked if I knew anything about it. I told her I didn't, and that I was trying to get Sora alone to talk about it. She said she would help me get him alone with me so I could try to get him out of it.
That's how I finally got him. Kairi had mysteriously disappeared from the library before Sora got there. Truth was, she had told the librarian she had to leave a bit early to get home as soon as possible, and her being a favorite of the librarian, got to leave five minutes earlier then everyone else, meaning before the bell rang. That was her mysterious disappearing act. Sora would pout at us later for it when we told him, but for now it would work.
I knew being a teacher's pet had some perks to it, but I never found myself in that situation. Now I found I was glad Kairi was a favorite of the librarian, if it was to help Sora.
I have to re-say my thing about Sora pouting at us later for it. He was already pouting, for he knew I caught him alone since Kairi wasn't there in the library. I smiled slightly. Was it wrong to smile when you finally achieved what you had been trying to go? I thought not.
I hid my smile as I approached him, standing next to him. "I guess Kairi already left." I said, carefully schooling what I said as to not let info of Kairi's and my plan out.
Sora could be just as intuitive as I could about emotions. He could tell when something was bothering me, just like I was doing with him right now.
Sora sighed, sounding a bit defeated. "Yeah, I guess so. Let's go." He said, turning and stalking out of the library.
I felt a bit guilty now, but I reasoned with myself. If it would help Sora in the end, I could take on a bit of guilt. He would do that same for me, that was for sure. I turned and followed him, staying quiet for the time being. I'd let him sulk for a moment, as I figured out how to start this conversation.
Starting awkward conversations were never my thing.
We walked outside of the school now, with our backpacks weighing us down every step of the way. Why the schools had to make the stupid books so big and heavy that the backpacks would kill you way before age did was beyond me. Sora kept saying that his backpack would be the death of him, since it was a heavy as mines was. He was a bit clumsier then I was too, so it was kind of a miracle Sora hadn't been killed, or at least harmed in any way by his backpack.
And yes, I noticed I started rambling to delay when I have to start the conversation.
"So…" that seemed to be my start to quite a for of our conversations lately, and I was sick of it. Problem was, I couldn't think of a better way to start then that.
"Mm…" Sora at least gave some sort of answer to show he was slightly listening. He was looking the other way from me, so I couldn't clearly read his expression, which I was sure he wanted. When did Sora all of a sudden close up so much?
"How'd school go?" I'd get to the point eventually. It just might take a bit to get there. Yes, blame me for procrastinating, but once you figure out a better idea to figure out what's wrong with your best friend, then come and tell me what that idea is.
"Eh…busy, as usual." He said, as if it was obvious, which it was since I had many of the same classes he did. Okay, bad question to ask.
"And at home?" Hopefully that question was better then my last.
"Mom is ecstatic that I'm finally home, and made me promise never to leave so long again without writing her at least once. Other then that, just normal stuff." Sora replied; his voice filled with content at finally being home. Okay, problem was at home, then what the heck was bothering Sora so much?
"Hey! Lets race! Ready! Set. Go!" Sora abruptly stated, turning to look at me only for a second before darting off. How exactly we ran with those heavy backpacks, even I don't know at the moment. I'm still working on the problem. I, of course, chased after Sora once he darted off. It had been a while since we raced, and it felt a bit childish, but in a good way. Never the less to say that he won since had had got that head start and my backpack wore me down.
No, I will not admit I lost fair and square to Sora!
We were at his house now, after the short race Sora had started. He was smiling now, and I noticed it was genuine, a real true Sora smile. I just smiled back.
I had a sense I was suppose to be doing something really important at the moment, but I couldn't remember for whatever reason.
"Well, see ya tomorrow Riku."
"Right. See ya." And he was gone into the house before I noticed Sora had yet again switch the conversation out of my grasp and yet again avoided my questioning.
I frowned. Why that little sneaky…gr…yes, I Riku, just growled. What are you going to make out of it? I had to try a different tactic now. Me trying to get the answer out of Sora wasn't working. He was just distancing himself and pulling out all the tricks to avoid that conversation. I had the feeling Sora really wanted to talk about what was bothering him, but it was just as awkward as me trying to start the conversation to ask. Instead of saying what he wanted, he was switching up the conversation.
Me going to Sora wasn't working, so maybe…
I was going to have to call in help for this.
Pick up, pick up. Please pick up.
Bring, briiinngg. 'Hello?'
Yes, she picked up. "Hey Kairi." I said cheerfully. I had worked out some sort of plan, but it wasn't one of my best. I was hoping that maybe it could help in some way, some weird way. I prayed it would work, and I wasn't all that religious. For Sora, I would be for a while.
'Hey, what's up Riku?'
I smiled, if I could even more. I sat down on my bed, stopping my needless pacing back an forth now that I was putting this plan forth. It might not work at all. Even if it didn't, it was a chance to get a break from everything. I wasn't exactly sure how this plan was going to work anyway, but from past experiences, it might work. Sora hadn't changed all that much from a little kid to a teenager. He still had that kid at heart, and as before, I prayed this would work.
"I didn't get out of Sora what was bothering him, but I have a plan." I answered, and couldn't keep the mischievous tone out of my voice.
'Oh, lets hear this plan of yours.' Kairi answered in her own mischievous tone. I just kept smiling.
I was a bit nervous. It was Saturday again. It's been a week since I'd first tried to get out of Sora what was wrong. I wasn't sure how this night was going to play out. I had most of it set up, with lots of things to do. Still, my plan was based on tonight. If this didn't work, I didn't know what would.
I was having a sleepover. It would be a chance for a break, and maybe a chance to see what was really concerning Sora. For some reason, Sora was the most vulnerable at night, and that was when he really let out what he was feeling. It was like he could keep a front in the day, but not during the night.
I snorted as I noticed something. It was the same with light and dark. Sora was the brave one in the light, but not so much in the dark. He knew what lurked in the light, but not what was in the dark. Was that why he was the main fighter for the light? I wondered for many nights on that one, but that was for another time.
I know it was a bit sneaky, but maybe it would help Sora in the end. He's helped me so much the past few weeks with falling back into my old life, its only fair I do the same to him. Something was really bothering him, and he needed to talk about it, that I was sure about.
Call if best friend's intuition if you will. That's what I was calling it.
We'd be staying down in the basement, at least the boys would. It was a boy/girl sleepover. Of course, with us being teenagers, my mom had reassured the parents that the girls would be sleeping upstairs in the living room while the boys were down here. So I had had to set up two rooms for this. We'd be separated at one o'clock in the morning, if we stayed up that late. My mom had it all planned, along with Kairi and me. Kairi would take Selphie and go upstairs to watch movies at one in the morning.
That would leave us boys down here to sleep. Hopefully Tidus and Wakka would fall asleep fast, leaving Sora and me. If we got to that point, my plan might work.
But as this was a fast laid out plan and that Tidus, Selphie, and Wakka weren't in on it, it could go wrong.
That'd be just my luck too.
Kairi and me had talked about letting them in on the secret, but decided against it. Once Sora knew Kairi and me had planned this, he'd be mad enough. He would forgive us later for it, but for a while it could be a bit turbulent in our friendship. Best keep it between us three, and not involved those not important.
I heard the doorbell ring upstairs. Let the sleepover begin.
It had been a night filled with laughs and lots of pizza. My mom had had us make our own individual pizza, and that was a lot of fun. We had gotten into a cheese fight for about five minutes till my mom had stopped up. After we had out dinner, there were video games of who could beat whom in DDR.
The competition was mostly between me, Selphie, Tidus, and Kairi. Wakka wasn't really into video games, and Sora had never really played this game.
He did reach his goal though, of getting through one song entirely, quite a feat since it was only his second time at playing the game. It had been an easy song, but you have to start small to get big.
Sora seemed to be having fun watching the competition, and we gained quite a few jokes out of the night. It went by fast though, and it was soon time for the girls to go upstairs. Kairi and Selphie said their goodnights, and started heading upstairs. Kairi did pause though, looking at me and giving me a look that clearly said 'let's hope this works' before she was out of site up the stairs with Kairi.
I fully agreed with her on that.
Tidus and Wakka started talking about what movie we should put on to watch as we went to sleep, and I joined Sora on the couch watching the two with him. It was kind of funny. They would seem to agree on a movie, then switch their mind a second later breaking the agreement. I glanced away from them a moment and looked towards Sora. When I'd first sat down by him, he'd been watching them also. Now though, he was looking away at the wall, appearing as though he wasn't really paying attention. I frowned slightly, looking back towards the two squabblers.
After fighting for another few minutes on what movie to watch, we finally decided on "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". Whether that name should be italicized, in quotes, or both, don't ask me. I was never too good with that kind of stuff.
Wakka and Tidus settled down onto their sleeping bags to watch the movie. I decided I'd move if I saw Sora starting to nod off during the movie, figuring I'd let him get the couch for this sleepover. He already had his stuff on it, and I had mines on the floor so it'd work.
I glanced over at Sora again, seeing his attention onto the movie instead of the wall again. I sighed quietly, looking to the TV screen to watch the movie also. Wakka and Tidus nodded off as soon as the movie began to play. I smiled slightly. Maybe this might work out. There was a reason I picked Saturday for the sleepover. Both Wakka and Tidus were in the blitzball team, and today had been a big game for them. So that ensured that both of them were tired and would fall asleep before me or Sora ever did at the moment.
He seemed to notice it also, and I noticed that tension seemed to add itself to the room. I lifted an eyebrow slightly, but kept my eyes on the screen. I wasn't going to confront Sora about what was concerning him this time. This time, I was letting it go in reverse, letting he confront me with his problems if he so wished. I hoped he wished that.
It didn't seem to work, as the tension didn't decrease till the movie was almost over, and by then it was time for bed for both of us. Mom would have a fit if we stayed up too late and then slept in really late.
Once the movie was over, I turned it off, getting off the couch and going into my own sleeping bag. It was the closest one to the couch, just in case Sora wanted to talk. He didn't seem to want to, as he laid down in his own on the couch, his back facing me as I figured he was going to sleep.
I sighed again, and frowned, as I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I turned over and decided to go to sleep myself then. I'd figure out a plan in the morning.
I blinked a few times, taking bearings of my situation. It was only about four in the morning if I read the clock right, so I couldn't be waking up of my own accord. Something had to wake me up. I turned over so I was lying on my back for a second before I sat up, glancing around the room. Wakka and Tidus were sleeping soundly, and I didn't hear anything coming from upstairs. So what had woken me up?
I heard shifting coming from the opposite side of Wakka and Tidus, and glanced that way to find Sora looking at me. He was still awake? That was what must've woken me up.
Sora blinked at me for a moment, and I guessed he was noticing I was awake also. "Sorry." He whispered, keeping his voice low as to not wake up others.
"No problem. Why are you still awake?" I questioned, suppressing a yawn from behind my hand. I kept my voice low also, as to not awake the other too, following what Sora was doing.
"Couldn't sleep." He answered lightly, but his face in the dark showed differently. Even though I couldn't see him all that well, I could see him enough to know he had looked down, and was now shifting to look up at the ceiling. He put his hands behind his head again, and I suppressed another yawn.
"Why's that?" I questioned further. I was tired and wanted to go to bed, but if Sora didn't get any sleep, then he'd jut be cranky tomorrow and a cranky Sora was the last thing they needed.
Sora didn't answer for a while, and I thought he had finally fallen asleep. That was proved wrong when he started to talk again. "It's…stupid." He finally said, shaking his head.
"What's stupid?" I questioned again, trying to wrap my mind around what Sora was saying. For some reason, I thought this conversation was important. Maybe it was.
"Why I can't fall asleep. I…" Sora trailed off. I cocked my head to the side ever so slightly.
"You…?" I left that question hanging, waiting for him to fill in the blanks.
"Nevermind." Sora shook his head again, shifting so his back was to me again. I blinked a few times, thinking on what to say next.
"You know. A friend always told me he couldn't help me unless I told him what was wrong. Maybe that applies here." I started to say cautiously. Sora was the person who'd always said that to me. Now I was turning that same reasoning back onto him.
Hey, it was fair. And besides, it was all I could think of to say next.
"So I can't help you either, unless you tell me what's wrong." I finish, raising my eyes towards him from my sleeping bag. I had noticed I had looked down at it, and now was looking for Sora's reaction.
Sora sighed, like I had done earlier that night, and shifted in his own sleeping bag to look at me again. "Promise you won't laugh?" He stated, and I smiled slightly. I quickly hid that smile as it looked like Sora would take back what he just said. Gladly, he didn't take it back.
"Why would I?" I found myself replying, raising a curious eyebrow.
"Well…." Sora paused, appearing to be thinking over what he was saying. I waited patiently for his answer. He seemed to think over it for a bit, and then shook his head at his own thoughts. After another minute, he continued on. "I'm afraid." And there he stopped.
"Afraid of what?" I knew for some reason I was trekking in bad grounds, but that I needed to for some reason anyway.
He took even longer to answer that one.
"Of having nothing to dream of." He finally answered, and I found myself confused more then finding that funny.
"I'm afraid I don't understand?" I replied, finding myself more confused then I had been in a while.
"Well…as a kid I always wanted to fly, and I did that. Then there was swimming without worrying about having to come up to air, and I did that also. So…what do I dream for now?" Sora explained slowly, seemingly afraid that he was admitting this out loud to me.
I blinked slowly a few times, processing what he was saying. Oh! Flying in Neverland and not worrying about coming up for air in Atlantica! Mermen didn't have to worry about air underwater. "And this is what has been bothering you so much?" I questioned to make sure I was right. At a nod from Sora, I smiled slightly.
"See! I knew it was stupid!" Sora cried out indignantly at my smile, and I quickly hid it again.
Bad Riku. Now see what you did. I glanced at Tidus and Wakka to see them still asleep before turning my attention fully to Sora again. "I wasn't smiling at your problem. I was just happy to finally figure out what was bothering you. You were worrying me." I simply explained, seeing him calm down as I did. Good, that was better.
"Oops." He said quietly, and I nodded slightly, and then shook my head. "Now about your problem. You don't know what to dream for?" I questioned to make sure I was still on the right track. It was four in the morning, so just to make sure.
Sora nodded again.
I nodded back to him, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I thought of what to say in response to that. It had to be good, as I've been trying to work this problem out of Sora for a week. Now that I figured it out, my response had to be good.
"Well, just think about what you want at the moment, and dream for that I guess." I finally said. It was the best answer I could come up with at the moment. I glanced up at him again, and he seemed to be processing what I had just said.
Then he smiled, a genuine one right there, and I could do nothing but smile back. "Thanks Riku." He said, in the happiest tone I have heard from him in a while.
"No problem, that's what friends are for. Now we both better get some sleep before my mom had a fit." I said jokingly, but very serious at the same time. Sora nodded.
"Night." He said.
"Night." I said. I laid back down and we both went to sleep.
It was the next day, meaning it was Sunday. Everyone else had left to go home by now, and Sora was helping my clean up the basement and the living room. His mom would be coming by soon to pick him up.
He seemed happier now, and for that I was glad. Seeing that dark look on his face only worried me. Now he was back to the Sora I knew, the one that was happy and didn't have that dark look. I did wonder though, what was it that Sora was dreaming for?
Turns out he told me that day also. We were just picking up all the food items downstairs when he told me.
"Hey Riku. I figured out what I'm dreaming for?" He said cheerfully, pausing in his placing one of the soda cans in a black back to look up at me.
"Hm? What's that?" I said, taking the bait and stopping from rolling up the chip bag to look up at him. The look on his face could have only one word. Mischievous. I raised an eyebrow slightly, only to hear him laugh more.
"That you will finally forgive yourself from everything that happened!" He stated cheerfully, and then casually went back to picking up the soda cans.
I blinked slowly, registering what he said. He didn't have to tell me what I had to forgive myself for. The whole me against Sora incident back when this journey was still at it's beginning. So Sora knew that I was still dwelling over that just like I had known something was bothering him.
We did eventually tell him that it was mine and Kairi's plan to finally get him to admit what was wrong. He wasn't very happy for a bit, and he did pout at us. Everything went back to usual after a day or two though, and he even thanked us for it. He said he didn't know how long it would've been till he really told us what was wrong. That was in the future and as for now…
I just snorted and went back to rolling up chip bags. Well, if it solved Sora's problem for him, I guessed it was worth it. It was certainly a dream. If Sora could have all his other dreams come true, I'm sure I could make this was true for him. Though…it might take a year or two. What can I say; I'm a procrastinator when it comes to certain things.
Sora just laughed again as he finished up picking up the soda cans and proceeded to help me with the rest of the cleaning up.
I rolled my eyes at him, but smiled. Things were back to normal, or as normal as they would be at the moment.
Sora went home not long after that, and I finished up my cleaning.
I sat a bit later on my bed, looking up at the ceiling like Sora had done last night. I was smiling though, thinking over last night and what had happened today. To think, it took me a week to figure out what was bothering my best friend. It was worth it in the end though, and that was what really mattered.
It was a good way to end a weekend.
THE END!
Author's Note: Well, this was my first time writing from first person view and I hope I got Riku right. If a few parts don't make sense, it's because I was writing it and finished it at three in the morning. It was fun though, and I hope you enjoyed!