The doors were oddly comforting, strong wooden oak, brass lion knockers. A solid anchor to focus on, to stop the erratic beating of my heart, thoughts of the future and past running rampantly through my mind like a bull in a china shop, shattering all thoughts that are comforting in the least and replacing them with doubts and worries.
What if all the years of trying and failing mean we aren't meant to get to this point in our lives, that we weren't meant to be together that all of the times we shared, and the hurt we put each other through was a sign from higher up that we absolutely 100% no doubt about it should not be doing this.
But yet, here we are about to do what we both thought would be impossible one day, about to proceed to deny all acts of sanity and make the biggest commitment either of us have ever made and finally I can rationalise.
The hurt we put each other through from day one can't have been for nothing surely, years of chasing and teasing leading up to this one moment in time. This one little moment will be a catalyst for how the rest of my life will go, and suddenly on this beautiful day with the sun out and the flowers blooming, birds chirping in the tree's and the faint sound of laughter in the distance. It's perfect. It's amazing. And it all makes sense.
The years of hurt will be evened and eventually outweighed by the years of happiness we will give each other, waking up every day to somebody who loves you, the same strong arms around you in the morning, the same beautiful brown eyes that will bare all to you if you even hinted you wanted to know. It makes sense that we would have to earn our place in each other's lives, we're both way to closed off to people to make it any other way, both loving how much we've accomplished in the past 4 years, that the knowledge of how far we've come to get here will be a strong foundation for our love to grow on.
The music starts, the doors open and I wonder why I even doubted anything at all, the sight of him at the end of the aisle almost like a beacon of light at the end of the tunnel, surrounded by family and friends we'll tie a bond to each other for eternity. Step by step my future is coming closer and closer, my chance to prove that I can make this commitment to the one I love.
He's smiling, a true smile that reaches his eyes and brightens his entire face, that shows everyone in this room just how happy he is to be where he is right now and how glad he is that they could both get to this point without killing each other.
Before she even realises, she's standing before him, holding his hand and listening to his loving words with rapt attention. He tells her that he loves her and how she's the dream come true of a dream he never even knew he had, he's been waiting his whole life for her to come around and show him that marriage is exactly what he wants, and he does with her, kids dog beautiful house white picket fence the whole nine yards, and he wants it with her, to be forever by his side, to know that if he feels conflicted and can't make a decision she'll be there with her beautiful heart and wise words to help guide him in the right direction. Then she feels the cold yet comforting feel of silver on her finger and it's like her whole world just completed itself. She hears their loved ones crying and sniffling, can see the priest waiting patiently for her to begin and all of a sudden out of nowhere she can't see anything but him, his strong jaw and that little dimple right there by the side of his mouth. She reaches up and holds it as she tell him what she's felt since the first moment they ever met.
"I love you, I love you because you are everything, my hero, my strength, my weakness, my security blanket, my best friend, my lover, my partner, my heart. You're my heart because I haven't had it since I tackled you to the ground. You have held my heart in the palm of your hand since that moment and I've never gotten it back, its you're to keep for now until the end of eternity, that day I got shot, I was scared out of my mind, I thought for sure I was going to die and that I would never get to tell you how I felt that, I would have died without you knowing that terrified me even more, then out of nowhere there you were and I knew, I was going to be ok because here was Sam, Sam who I loved more than life itself, he would never let anything happen to me, would never let me die on his watch, and I knew then I was going to be ok, that's how I feel about you. I'm so thankful to have you in my life and I promise to never take you for granted, to never run when we fight or I get frightened about the future, I promise to stay and fight for you like you've done for me, I promise to fight to make this work come hell or high water, I promise to never leave you, leaving you is not an option cause I could never leave the other half of me, I promise to make you feel cherished and needed and wanted every day for the rest of our lives and I promise to always show you just how much I love you I want it to be you who I wake up to every morning, the one I'll bring coffee to and come to with worries and seek comfort in your embrace. I Love You and everything that comes along with that I want for now and forever until death do us part but even I hope that our souls will be linked for eternity to carry on together forever.
I, Andrea Clair McNally, take you Samuel James Swarek to be my lawful wedded husband to have and to hold, for better or worse, to love and cherish, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health till the end of eternity."
This is the first day of the rest of our lives together and we sealed it with a kiss for all our loved ones to see. This was the happiest day of our lives and it was greatly earned for us to be here.
On the day that I became Andrea Clair Swarek, I sealed my fate with the one I love forever and will spend the rest of my days showing and proving my love and devotion to him.
From now Until forever.