Note: I don't own Shakugan no Shana. The second season is, as you all know, is already out.

Why I wrote this is beyond me but it has something to do with boredom. Some say that this is kind of poor writing on my part but I really don't care anyways. If people say that I'm giving out spoilers without warning, I'll only say that I've read the Wikipedia entry for the show and learned quite a lot that the first season didn't show.

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"I won't lose!" Shana screamed as she faced a very angry Kazumi Yoshida. "Not to someone like you!"

"No matter how you see him, be it a human or Mystes, you still don't understand him!" Yoshida snapped. "In fact, after all this time living here, I doubt you have an inkling of understanding the spirit of humanity as a whole!"

Both glared at each other with fierce intensity and gritted teeth.

"Neither one of you can understand Yuji-kun." A monotone voice spoke. Both Yoshida and Shana turned to see Hecate, dressed in a standard high school uniform instead of her robed attire and hat, approaching them.

"No matter how long you've stayed with him, none of you can fathom his being any more than me." The Supreme Throne commented. "Therefore, I'm the better candidate for his affections."

This did not suit well with Shana and Yoshida as they both rounded on the Tomogara girl with a verbal tirade that included but was not limited to her incompatibility to exist alongside humans based her non-human origins, her primitive perspective on the human world, and her greed for Yuji's memories.

Hecate countered that Shana, despite her superior intelligence to Yoshida, fails in her understanding of human emotion, something in which Yoshida bests Shana in. The Supreme Throne even went far by mentioning that her synchronization duration had shown her far more things about Yuji than what Shana or Yoshida could ever perceive. On and on, the three continued their clash of words for minutes before…

"I do know that Yuji doesn't like immature youngsters such as you three." A new voice commented. Hecate, Shana, and Yoshida turned to see Margery Daw floating above them on Marcosius's vessel. "And when I mean immature youngsters, the physical traits also counts alongside the mentalities."

"What makes you think that he prefers an old drunk like you?!" Shana snapped, pointing at the Interpreter of Condolence.

Margery smirked. "An old drunk you say? Says the midget who stutters in her speech when confronted with questions over what Yuji means to her and who also hasn't even reached puberty, thus is considered to be both a flat-chest and a paipan."

Yoshida could barely hold back laughter after hearing Margery comment on Shana's bodily features. A vein throbbed at Shana's forehead as the girl angrily blushed with embarrassment at having her body being criticized. Hecate had a large sweatdrop on her head, barely evading the type of criticism that Margery had thrown at Shana.

"Of course, Yoshida." Margery continued, turning to the brown-haired girl. "You may have impressive development but by a few centimeters, you lose to me." The Flame Haze finished before trotting out her massive bustline.

"That's a bit tough talk from an old shotacon who might as well be seen as a street hooker." Replied Yoshida with gritted teeth. "Besides, aren't you due for an appointment with your plastic surgeon in the Guze?"

Margery growled at Yoshida who wasn't even trying her best to size up to the busty Flame Haze.

"In addition, all you do is drink and get Eita or Keisaku to clean up after you." Hecate added.

"Besides, you only want Yuji just because the Ceremonial Snake of the Festival happens to reside in the Reiji Maigo." Shana commented. "You don't really consider Yuji's safety at all, you old hag."

"I could care less about the Silver." Margery replied. "Besides, it won't be going anywhere soon since it's stuck in the Reiji Maigo. So why don't you three just scamp and let me take Yuji?"

"The lack of civilized manners leads me to believe that none of you four deserve Sakai Yuji's affections." A new voice spoke, catching everyone's attention. The green-haired Pheles of the Saihyou shook her head with disapproval. "Only I have the rights to him."

"Just because you created the Reiji Maigo?" Shana sneered. "You're a true cheater, Pheles."

"Yeah. You think that you can just forget about Johan?" Yoshida added. "Or are you planning on killing Yuji just to bring him back?"

Pheles glared at Yoshida. "I don't have any reason to kill Yuji." It was somewhat of a true statement but one can never tell what the Guze Queen is thinking. "Besides, it was Johan who stopped me from doing so."

"And with good reason as I might add." Said Hecate. Pheles glared at the Tomogara girl as well as the other three.

"You all forget that the Reiji Maigo is my creation, one that I gave to Johan before dire circumstances caused me to preserve him within the Hougu." Said Pheles. "Yuji is a bonus and I plan on keeping him."

"Not a chance in hell will you step towards him!" Shana screamed before pulling the Nietono no Shana and pointed the blade at Pheles. The Guze Queen smirked before pulling out a large hammer.

"The Fist of Rukt?" Yoshida asked quizzically.

Margery placed a hand to her forehead. "Apparently, Pheles is a big fan of the Halo trilogy and created a good replica of the Halo 3 gravity hammer." Yoshida, Hecate, and Margery withdrew a bit, giving space as Shana and Pheles faced each other, ready to fight to see who gets the rights to Yuji.

Footsteps echoed from the yard as Chigusa Sakai, oblivious to the sight in the front yard of her house, approached the five with a tray of lemonade. Pheles and Shana quickly stashed their weapons from sight, hoping that Chigusa didn't see.

"Shana-chan, I brought refreshments for you and your friends." Said Chigusa. "Leave the glasses at the front porch when you're done."

Apparently, the five females were thirsty after the argument that five hands reached out for the drinks. Margery, despite her thirst for alcohol, was receptive as she drank her glass with one swig.

"Mrs. Sakai…" Pheles began.

"Please, it's Chugusa." Chigusa interrupted.

"Alright, Chigusa." Pheles addressed. "Have you seen Wilhelmina by any chance? I accidentally broke one of her Xbox 360 controllers last night and need to pay up."

"Well, Wilhelmina said that she was taking Yuji to the hardware store…" Chigusa began before an explosion interrupted her in mid-sentence.

All heads turned towards the source and were baffled by the sight in front of them. Running at top notch speed was Wilhelmina who had activated her battle attire. Long white hair and ribbons streamed out of the mask of Tiamat that she wore but what she was holding caused Pheles, Shana, Yoshida, Hecate, and Margery to display looks that could kill. In her arms, wrapped up in ribbons, was Yuji Sakai. Chasing the two was none other than Bel Peor who was shooting her chains out and swinging like Tarzan through the suburbs.

"Give me that Mystes!" Bel Peor roared. "You should know that he happens to like women who are kinky with chains!"

"Three more blocks until we're cleared, de-arimasu." Wilhelmina commented in her monotone voice.

"Confirmed." Tiamat replied.

"Hang on, Yu-chan!" Wilhelmina said as she used her ribbons to propel herself over the houses with Bel Peor in hot pursuit.

"Yu-chan?!" Pheles, Shana, Yoshida, Hecate, and Margery exclaimed simultaneously before turning to Chigusa.

"Well…" Chigusa replied nervously before digging into her apron and showing them a photo of the most unlikely image: Wilhelmina kissing Yuji. It wasn't just a regular kiss, but both Margery and Pheles knew too well that Wilhelmina was giving Yuji a very passionate French kiss.

"I thought she hated Yuji!" said Shana, shocked at seeing that her one-time caretaker had committed what she thought was the greatest sin of betrayal.

"Well, Wilhelmina isn't prone in showing her true feelings, Shana-chan." Replied Chigusa as she stashed the photo away. "Perhaps she doesn't really dislike Yuji as she..."

But when she turned her attention back to Shana and the others, only the empty streets remained as Shana and the others took off after Wilhelmina. Chigusa could only imagine the kind of beating they had in store for Wilhelmina and Bel Peor after they've taken Yuji back.

END

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I don't know if I should expand this.