To Tenderize A Hobbit
A/N: This story is dedicated to The Different Shipper, who gave a prompt about Bilbo getting spanked by Gloin. It's a stand alone story, not a Misadventure, but still a fun one to write! I hope you enjoy your story, and that everyone else likes it too!
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It had been a joyful time, going off with Thorin alone to adventure around and enjoy each others company. Balin was taking care of the Lonely Mountain for the short time the king and his hobbit were away.
What they hadn't planned on during this adventure, was getting caught by trolls. Now, these weren't the same ones they had encountered before. These stinky, warty, nasty beings were trolls that were even more twisted in their minds than Bilbo and Thorins previous encounter.
They had taken the couple off guard, as they slept. Dragging the hobbit and dwarf's bound and gagged bodies into their dark, eery caves that ranked of rotting flesh. Bilbo and Thorin were placed in separate cages, the entirety of their cells made from bones from various victims. Bilbo was the first to be unclothed, the barbarians stripping him down completely.
Thorin cried in outraged as he helplessly watched his hobbit jabbed and poked, his body trembling as they forced on a used and soiled loincloth for the hobbit to wear. Once his privates were covered, they hauled him out of the cage and towards an enormous chair made of giant looking bones, that was facing a simple wooden table.
Perched on this chair was a tall, thin troll, with long, skeletal appendages. His hollow face smiled excitedly as his two burly minions positioned Bilbo so that he was leaning over the table, his rump facing the thin troll leader.
"It's tenderizing time!" The troll bellowed, pulling back one giant, bony hand and whacking the hobbit's rear.
Bilbo howled, in pain and indignation. The Troll was about to spank the hobbit again when another troll entered the cave, carrying another morsel. Bilbo looked up and was astonished to see Gloin, the red headed dwarf and their companion. What was he doing all the way out here?
"Let me go you stinky devils!" He raged and cussed as the trolls laughed and placed him down for their leader to look at thoroughly.
A funny look came over the trolls face, he started ordering his fellow trolls to undress the red headed dwarf like they'd done to Bilbo.
"Why tenderize meat when meat can tenderize itself?" The mean thing chuckled, giving Bilbo a dreadfully bad feeling.
After a few moments of the dwarfs cursing and huffing, the trolls brought him back over next to Bilbo wearing the same sort of soiled loincloth.
"You, tenderize him." The troll pointed from Gloin to the hobbit.
"By my beard, does he mean for me to hurt you, little hobbit?!" Gloin spoke in outrage.
Assuming the dwarf didn't understand, the troll showed him what he wanted, by spanking Bilbo sharply on the butt. Bilbo cried out, making Thorin rage in his cage as Gloin stared stupidly at the terrible scene.
"Please, Gloin. I think your hand won't hurt me as much as that big oaf, just do as he says till we come up with a plan." Bilbo quietly pleaded to the uncertain looking dwarf.
"Tenderize!" The troll shouted at Gloin, losing his patience quickly.
"I'm sorry, little hobbit." Gloin leaned next to Bilbo's ear whispering his apology before raising his hand and slapping Bilbo's scantly clad rump.
The troll laugh, clapping his hands in joy. "Do again! Tenderize!" He seemed to be cheering the dwarf on as Gloin reluctantly continued.
For Bilbo, it wasn't as hurtful as the troll had been, but it wasn't exactly fun either. 'Come on, I've got to work through this...Maybe if I imagined Thorin behind me...' He began to imagine Thorin giving the spanking, focusing hard on how that vision would look. It was working, the spankings weren't as unpleasant. He started to push his rump out a little, beginning to anticipate the slap against his rear.
Gloin took notice of the hobbit pushing his butt out more, his head leaning into the wood table in a more relaxed fashion. Was the strange little creature starting to enjoy this treatment?
"Tenderize other now." The troll spoke suddenly. Gloin stopped his hand and Bilbo righted himself, turning to look at the troll quizzically.
"You, tenderize him." The troll pointed from Bilbo to Gloin this time.
"Oh for the love of! Are you trolls trying to turn me? This is stupid! I refuse to have the small one spank me!" Gloin folded his arms in a huffy manned. Facing the leader, he was unaware of another trolls nearness. The large fellow suddenly swung out his hand and slapped Gloin very hard on the bum, causing the dwarf to fall down.
"I see..." Gloin slowly rose, understanding that if he didn't let Bilbo 'tenderize' him, their fate would be much worse. Unhappily, Gloin turned his back to the troll leader and hobbit, leaning against the wood table and waiting for the inevitable.
So, with his hobbit hand raised and ready, Bilbo began spanking the dwarfs rather large ass, the fellow whining and mumbling obscenities as the hobbit continued his task of tenderizing. Gloin's butt jiggled like jello as the hobbit slapped his round, hairy ass over and over again.
With their attention on one another, and both their backs turned from the leader, they we unaware of the Trolls nearby crotch becoming hardened. A large, rounded appendage was slowly growing, working its way out towards the direction of the spanking Hobbit.
"Bilbo!" Thorin tried to warn the other, but his words weren't heard. The hobbit was concentrating at the task at hand, and just assumed the noise he heard was Thorin crying out to him because of their strange situation. He felt something large and hard tap his lower back. Slowly he turned, Bilbo's eyes becoming saucer like as he took in a very disturbing sight. He had a six foot by two foot troll penis in front of him. The loincloth had be pushed aside so that the creatures private part was out in the open, close to touching the hobbit.
It was gray colored like the rest of the trolls body, it's texture looked bumpy and rough, there was already a strange liquid of snot consistency dripping out of the tip.
"Bilbo, why have you stopped?" Gloin asked, righting himself to turn and look upon the giant dick facing them.
Gloin's mouth hung open in complete shock, his voice unable to speak as the troll watched them staring at his erect member.
"My turn to tenderize." He spoke towards them, a shit eating grin on his ugly, warty face.
Before either of them could dodge, the troll whacked both of them across the side of their heads with his boner. The force had knocked them down to the ground, making it easier for the sick and cruel troll to slap them with his penis, crushing and hurting them with the sheer mass of the thing.
Bilbo was crawling his way under the wooden table, leaving Gloin to receive the brunt of everything. The poor fellow was grabbed up and placed over the table, the trolls dick slapping against Gloins ass harshly, leaving bruises on the fellows back and ass. Bilbo trembled underneath the table as he watched and listened to the dwarf moan in pain.
Suddenly, Bilbo had chunks of snot raining down on him, dripping through cracks within the wood. He looked up the cracks and noticed Gloins head completely covered in the snotty substance. The smell was rank, making the hobbit gag as he felt some snot drip on his shoulder.
"Where little one go?" The troll asked, having been too caught up with Gloin.
"Under table!" One troll informed the leader. A large skeletal hand reached out and drug the hobbit out of the hiding spot.
Bilbo looked over and saw Gloin limply laying against the table, covered in the snot like substance. As the troll lifted up Bilbo, staring the hobbit face to face, a loud roar of "Mutton!" caught everyone's attention. Two trolls came into the cave, carrying under their arms loads of balling sheep. The trolls who had been standing around, watching the spanking scene, rushed over to their newly arrived comrades.
"You can be supper for next night." The troll leader informed the hobbit, lifting him and taking the surprised Bilbo over to Thorin's cage. The troll quickly tossed Bilbo in with the kingly dwarf, closing the cage and walking back over to pick up the sticky Gloin. Gloin was placed into Bilbo's old cell. The dwarf spoke not a word as he sat in his boney cell, still shell shocked from his experience.
"Thorin!" Bilbo held onto the dwarfs body, hugging him tightly and letting his tears fall.
"Bilbo." Thorin spoke his name gently, rubbing the hobbits back kindly.
"What are we going to do?" Bilbo questioned his companion, pulling back a little and noticing the snotty stuff on his shoulder had rubbed off onto Thorins shirt.
Thorin looked down and sighed wearily, pulling the shirt off to expose his hairy, muscly chest. "Bilbo, I'm not sure we're going to get out of this one. Unless someone comes looking for Gloin soon, we're troll chow."
"Don't say that! We can come up with something..." Bilbo tried being positive.
"Still, if we are to parish tomorrow, at least we share our last night together." Thorin touched Bilbo's cheek tenderly, stroking the hobbits face with his thumb. Slowly he pulled Bilbo's face towards him, placing his lips against the hobbits and kissing him tenderly.
"Thorin, I promise you, this won't be our last night." Bilbo spoke assuredly to his dwarf after their lips parted. "Where did they toss my clothes?" Bilbo asked of the other.
"I believe they're still in your cell somewhere." Thorin answered the hobbit, confused as to how his clothes were so important right now.
"Gloin!" Bilbo beckoned to the dwarf. The fellow seemed to be slowly coming out of his shock, for he turned his head and stared at Bilbo.
"Gloin, you and I went through a lot together just now. We need to get out of here, but to do that, I need my clothes. Can you find them for me?" Bilbo asked of the quiet dwarf.
Slowly, the dwarf turned his head to look around the cell. In the corner, he noticed a rolled up bunch of clothing. He hobbled over to the hobbits attire, his body sore still from being beaten with a six foot troll cock, and picked up the clothes. Gingerly he shuffled back, handing over the items.
Bilbo thanked him as he set about, putting on all his now rumpled and wrinkled attire. Once he was fully dressed, he asked for the dwarfs to close their eyes for a moment, that he was going to do a trick that 'Gandalf' had showed him. That when they opened their eyes, it would appear that he wasn't there, but that he secretly was. Once he went invisible, they needed to make a commotion so that the trolls would notice them. If they were lucky, he'd be able to slip out when the trolls checked inside the cage.
With hope in Bilbos heart, he watched as both dwarfs closed their eyes. His hand went to his vest pocket, taking out the golden ring that had gotten him out of trouble many times.
"Let's get out of this place." He spoke as he slipped on the magical item.
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The Hobbit belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien.