Summary: Drabble/one-shot. Cloud makes some hard decisions, and finds something unexpected that he hadn't even known he was searching for in the first place. Post-AC setting, warnings for yaoi/lemon.

Usual disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, wish I did. Any lyrics quoted within are attributed to the artist. This is written for fun and not profit.

And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away

"Possession", Sarah MacLachlan

He had spent a lifetime feeling utterly alone, and now, even when surrounded by friends who loved him and accepted him as he was, flaws and all, Cloud still felt alone. There was always some invisible wall preventing Cloud from truly opening up his heart to anyone else. The last time he'd done so, was with Tifa. She'd seen his fractured mind firsthand, and helped him to piece it back together during their trip through the Lifestream. Hindsight provided more clarity, and years after Meteorfall - years after battling geostigma - Cloud knew as well as anyone else who knew the history, that what had happened to him was not his fault. That being Jenova's puppet, nearly enabling Sephiroth to destroy the world by handing over the Black materia - that was not his fault either.

Still, Cloud felt an unbearable sense of shame when he remembered those moments. First, he failed to save Zack; he let him die. Then he nearly took the Buster sword to Aeris, and in the end, he'd let her die as well. Could he have stopped Jenova from killing Aeris, or the entire Shinra army from gunning down Zack? Cloud wasn't sure, but the shame came from the fact that he hadn't been strong enough at the time to even try to prevent their deaths. Handing over the black materia. Cloud knew that deep down, he was stronger than the sum of those events; after all, he'd turned around and done the right thing. He stopped Sephiroth, and years later, stopped him again. Tifa had accused him of running away, and there was no denying it - Cloud knew he was. Even after healing, both physically and mentally from the geostigma, Cloud still could not adapt to a life of domesticity.

He loved Tifa, he truly did, but it was not enough. It was not the kind of love upon which to build a life together, which is what she wanted in the end. They had never been close as children; it had been the crisis which brought them together. Love was not a thing Cloud ever thought he would find with another person. There was a part of him that felt he did not deserve such happiness, not for all of his failings. There had been fighting and tears between Tifa and Cloud, then promises that they of course would always remain friends, though things would never be the same after Cloud moved out.

Cloud turned over in his bed, moonlight streaming through the window highlighting the backside of the nude figure that slept next to him. He shook his head, smiling marveling at what the past six months had brought. Cloud ran his finger over one bared shoulder, and the figure stirred, groaning, turning toward Cloud.

"I was sleepin', yo," Reno murmured, not exactly angry at being woken up by his lover; not when he saw the unbridled lust in the man's eyes. It still made Reno start a bit, seeing those Mako eyes illuminating in the near-darkness of their bedroom.

"I want you," Cloud said simply, burning and aching for this man in a way he'd never felt for anyone else. His lips claimed Reno's in a hard kiss that took their breath away, leaving them both wanting more. Reno responded with a low, throaty growl, returning the kiss with even more fervor.

"You always wanted me," Reno taunted, draping his lean form over Cloud's. "Just like I always wanted you, and we were too stupid to figure shit out before now."

"Yeah," Cloud murmured distractedly, as Reno's fingers traced the planes of his chest, causing him to take in a sharp breath. His heartbeat raced, his pulse soared, and adrenalin rushed through his body as Reno worked those long fingers elsewhere, awakening desires he had repressed for far too long. As Cloud and Reno joined together in passion, their cries echoing off the walls of the bedroom, the swordsman's mind flitted back to that one moment in time, when the whole thing had started.

It had been unexpected, to say the least, finding himself falling in love with a Turk. His avowed enemy...at one time. They were not so very different after all, Cloud finally realized. Both had done things they'd regretted, and wrestled with the memory of, even after the threat of Sephiroth and Meteor was long past. That Reno opened up to him one drunken night in Kalm was the first surprise. The next surprise was Cloud unloading his conscience upon Reno, who provided a willing ear. Speaking of the guilt he felt over Zack's death, and Aeris's. Feeling like anything but a hero. Failing at providing Tifa the one thing she wanted - Cloud's heart - because it had never been hers to begin with. It pained Cloud to confess all of this, then - Reno did the unthinkable. He held Cloud, tight in his arms. And kissed him.

Cloud had been so taken aback, he didn't know whether to punch Reno in the face, or kiss him back. He chose the latter option, which was met with a few hoots and hollers from the patrons in the bar.

"I've got an apartment in town here," Reno's voice was a silken whisper in Cloud's ear, who could not reply but for a nod. It all happened so fast, Cloud hadn't even taken his boots off; he'd dropped his pants and taken Reno hard and fast, against the cool tiled wall of the bathroom. Cloud had assumed that would be the end of it; a quick fling, wasn't that all Reno had been after anyway? He knew about the Turk's reputation with both men and women, though much of that was rumor and speculation, Cloud would quickly learn.

He didn't expect any of this, but Cloud especially did not expect Reno to ask him to stay the night. And so he did, waking hours later to a hand on his shoulder, lips on his neck, and another hand wrapped around his member. This time their lovemaking was slow and unrushed, unlike their initial coupling.

It was then that Cloud knew. That this was no momentary lapse of reason, or a drunken night of regret – this was real. As he turned over and looked into Reno's eyes, full of a pain that reflected his own, Cloud knew. He wanted to possess Reno, body and soul, and be possessed in return. The Turk had woken a fire in him continued to burn, threatening to engulf them both if they were not careful.

Cloud's mind snapped back to the present, Reno laying in his arms, chest heaving from exertion. Both felt spent and sated, warm in the afterglow, and in the knowledge of what each meant to the other.

"Never let you go," Reno murmured, ghosting a kiss over Cloud's collarbone. The hero of the planet, the supposed puppet with a heart of stone, held his lover tightly in his arms, and in the darkness of the room - he smiled.

"Never," Cloud promised, kissing Reno's forehead, letting out a sigh of contentment, as he fought against sleep.