(Hello everyone, I know it has been a while since I have posted to this story but I'm back now. I have re-edited all five chapters and I'm posting the edited chapters on the site now. I have finished chapter 6 and should have that up as soon as my editor finishes going over it. Thanks to those of you that have stuck around waiting for me to get back to this. I do hope that I don't disappoint you when I finally get the whole story done. As always please review)

Re-posted 07/11/2010

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Twilight, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter1: The Beach

Color hadn't been a part of my world for so long I couldn't even remember what red, green, yellow or blue looked like. For eight year the only color I ever got to see was white. The walls were white, the door was white, even my clothes were white. I was so young when they first brought me here that I didn't even know what I was missing out on. How was I to know that living your life in a small padded room wasn't normal? This was all I knew after waking up in pain that night so many years ago. To this day I still block out the days and nights that lead up to me being here. My mind likes it that way; it finds that keeping everything in the dark lets me keep breathing.

I hated it out here; I still couldn't understand why they made me leave. I wanted my corner back in my small padded room. I'd give anything to be laying on the floor staring off at the white walls the made up the room. For it was the only place I felt safe, the only place that I called home. Now I have to stay in the house I lived in before with my mother and my brother. This was the place where so many bad things had happen. The house that should have been a home to me but never was. Closing my eyes, I struggled to push back the memories I so longed to forget. The ones everyone hoped I would let come out, but when fear is the only emotion you know letting things out just doesn't come that easy.

Opening my eyes I looked around to find that more people had started to make their way down to the beach. This made me feel even more uncomfortable. For out here in the world there were too many people, too much going on for my comfort. I wasn't use to this kind of thing, for too long it had just been me day in and day out. Sure a few times during the day someone would stop in to see me, but they never stayed long. I couldn't really tell you what they wanted or if they had said anything. I was too lost in keeping myself from their touch. No one could touch me there or at least that's what I let myself believe. If there is one thing people need to know about me is I don't like being touched. Bad things happen when my body came in contact with another person.

The sun was shining bright on this my first day at the beach. I wasn't sure if I had ever come here before, those memories were locked up some place safe in my mind. There wasn't a cloud in the blue sky. I did have to say blue was a nicer color then white. If I was the type of person who cared about these things I would have appreciated such a good day for my first time out in the world. You see when you live the kind of life I had you don't get to be outside. I was four years and some months the last time I got to see the outside world. There wasn't even a window in my small white padded room. This wasn't something that ever bothered me. You can't miss what you never had to begin with.

I had been a little stunned that my brother Jon had offered to bring me today. I had been home for two weeks by this point and hadn't been out once. To tell the truth I didn't think I was ever going to be let out of the house. The way everything happened that led me to coming home. I thought I had gone from one prison to another in just hours. Though I had to say this one was very different for it held the secrets that I had been hiding from for eight years. Finding out I was coming home had been such a shock to me. I woke up that day like any other day, ready to spend my time pushed in to the corner watching the walls. Sometime I would change it up and stare at the door, wondering if someone was going to come to see me that day. Not that I really paid attention to who ever came in. I had learned within a few days that no one cared what I wanted or thought. It wasn't hard after that to let myself go in to my own little world where no one could ever hurt me.

Most days if I got a visitor it wasn't until sometime in the afternoon. So imagine my surprise when a nurse walked in only a few minutes after I woke up. As she came closer to me I pushed back further in to my corner. My mind keeps screaming for her to stop but no words never left my mouth. This wasn't a new thing I hadn't spoken one word since I had woken up. It wasn't that I could speak I just choose not to. It was better this way, better to keep it locked inside then to let them hurt me more. I didn't really fight her as she took hold of my arm and dragged me out of the room.

Taken to an office I hadn't been to before, I was directed to sit down in one of the chairs inside the room. All too soon a man walked in to speak to me. In all these year I have to say I never really listened to the things that were said to me. They were all the same, each one thought they knew what had happened. They had believed what everyone had told them, never really caring to see what I had to say. Then again what adult listens to a four year old who throws herself in to walls? After he was done talking I was taken to the showers and given a new set of clothes. I wasn't sure what to think about the jeans and t-shirt I was given. The only thing I could ever recall wearing was this white jumper. I wasn't given much time to shower and change before being taken outside to a car waiting to bring me back to the house I had hope to never see again.

Sitting in the back seat I keep my eyes focused out the window. It had been so long since I had seen what was beyond those four walls. The green grass was breath taking and all the trees. I wondered how I could forget how tall they grew or how beautiful they were. With so much to see I hadn't really questioned where my mother was. Most parents would have rushed to bring their child home after being gone for so long but not my mom. When we pulled up in to the drive way she acted like she hadn't even known I was coming. If I hadn't known better I would have thought she had wished I wasn't there. My coming home was something she didn't want as well.

It didn't take my brother long to leave me sitting alone on the beach. Not sure what to do, I slowly moved myself down to the water. So here is where I sat at the edge of the water watching the waves come in. Looking down at myself I knew I was a sight to see. Here I was sitting in the water with a long sleeve shirt on over my swimsuit. This wasn't the normal attire that you would see someone wear at the beach. If only they knew what I knew, if only they could see what I was hiding under this shirt. Though in this small town or I should say this reservation here was no way to hide who I was or what had happen so long ago. Now that I was back people would start talking once more about what a sad life I had.

Glancing over my shoulder I watched him as he flirted with the group of girls that had swarmed to him the second we got here. The way he acted made me sick; he was so sweet and kind to them. In my whole life or what time I was around him he never acted that way towards me. I was the sibling that wasn't meant to be. Our father even left the family because he didn't want me. This made my brother not want me as well. So it's pretty easy to see why I might have done some of the stuff they accused me of doing. I knew now what my brother's motives for bringing me here were. This was the only why he could take me out without really having to spend time with me.

Hearing a footsteps coming closer to me I turned my head to look the other way. When I did I find a young girl of about four standing right next to me. She was so beautiful, full of life. In my heart I knew I had never seen someone as happy as this little girl was. Without anyone having to tell me, I recognized how much she must be loved by the people in her life. Staring into her eyes I wished that I could have been as lucky as she was. Love was a strange thing to me, which I couldn't seem to grasp or to even get a taste of in my life. I was hated from the second I was known to exist. Not something a child should have to live with.

So lost in her eyes I almost missed that she had spoken to me. "Hello." I so wanted to say something back to her. There wasn't a part of my body that wasn't screaming for me to say hello or even hi. I just couldn't seem to get my voice to work anymore. To many years of holding it all in was coming back to get me now. Not wanting to scare her off or make her think I was rude I nodded my head to say hello back. Watching a smile spread across her lips I knew she was happy with just me nodding my head. Not taking my eyes off of her I watched as she sat down next to me. Without a word she started picking up rocks and tossing them in to the water. It was almost like she knew I didn't want to talk and yet she didn't want to leave me alone.

Tilting my head back around I started to look back out at the water once more. There was just something about the way the waves rolled in that keep my attention. It could have been minutes or hours that had passed before I hear someone calling out from behind us. Sensing the young girl was moving to stand I glanced back over to her.

"I have to go now, Quil is calling me. You can come if you'd like," she advise me.

Not sure of what I wanted to do I took a quick look towards my brother. He was still in the same spot surrounded by a bunch of girls. I figured it couldn't hurt anything if I walked up the beach with her. Standing up slowly I took a glance down both sides of the beach. I couldn't help this feeling that something wasn't right as I got up. It was almost like I was being watched but by who. That was the question I couldn't seem to figure out. Once I was up and had felt it was safe to move I started to make my way up the beach. Before I knew what was going on the little girl had taken hold of my hand with hers. If it had been anyone else I would have yanked it away from them. For some reason it felt right, my heart knew she wasn't going to hurt me.

If I hadn't known better I would have thought she was taking her time walking up the beach. Either she didn't want to go yet or she was hoping to spend more time with me. I really didn't care which one it was for I liked the idea of having someone wanting me around. I wasn't sure what I was feeling but deep down I was hoping that just maybe it was enjoy. The feeling was short lived just feet from where the young girl's friend sat waiting for us.

"Willow Stands where do you think you are going?" my brother called out to me.

I froze in my tracks and my head spun around to look the way his voice had come from. Staring at him for over a minute I would have keep my eyes locked on his position if I hadn't felt the little girl pull on my arm.

Turning my head back around to look at her I caught sight of two very large men coming towards us. I wasn't sure if one of these men were with the little girl. In truth there was only one thing I was sure about. The shorter of the two was looking right at me. His eyes looked to be staring straight at me like he was lost in a trance. Feeling my heart start to speed up as my breathing became uneven. I could feel the fear slowly spreading throughout my body. I wanted to run to a place to hide. Yet at the same time I wanted to stay right where I was at. For there was this new feeling deep in my heart, which I had never felt in my life. I wasn't sure where it was coming from but I knew the man coming towards me was making it happen.

So what was making me feel so afraid? The fact that as this man was coming towards me and my brother was on his headed in my direction. Wishing I could stay and find out what was going on I knew there was no way. Quickly I let go of the young girl's hand as I took off towards my brother. Not wanting to waste anytime I ran fast so I could get to him before he started something with those men. My brother wasn't one to just let things go, so I hoped that if he didn't make it over by them he would just let it drop. Coming to a stop right in front of him he I waited quietly for him to say something anything. I could take whatever comment he made. For there wasn't a thing someone could say to me that would break through the wall I had built up so long ago.

"Get in the car it's time to go now," he snapped at me.

Closing my eyes, I nodded my head, grateful that's all he said. Making my way around him I headed up towards to car. Without a word or even a glance at him I got inside the car and waited for him to take me back to the one place I really didn't want to go.

(Please let me know what you think by clicking that little button down there, thanks)