Tulips and Revlon

Hey, everyone! I'm back with my second fanfic. It's another "weeper," but it has some humor and it's now Shepard's turn to offer a shoulder to cry on. When you finish the story, the title will make sense – maybe. Enjoy!

Profile: Cadrina Ellen Shepard – Spacer, War Hero, Infiltrator, Paragon

The reunion with Ashley Williams on Horizon was not the stuff of storybook lore. Now Cadrina Shepard was determined to patch things up and set her straight…

The street lights were dim on Alpha Row at Bachjret Ward. Dim and a bit misty like in the old detective vids, just as Jacob Taylor described. There was a theme bar along here run by an old volus with a penchant for 20th century Earth memorabilia. Intel was that Ashley Williams frequented this bar to unwind between missions and indulge in her favorite off duty pastime of hustling pool.

Cadrina Shepard consulted her omni-tool once more. According to the map Jacob provided, the bar should be right around the corner. The time read 21:30 – Ashley should be there.

The crew of the Normandy 2 had accomplished the impossible: defeating the Collectors on their home territory. With all hands accounted for, Cadrina declared a two-week shore leave to decompress before they plunged headlong into stopping the Reapers. The crew-wide party in Afterlife's VIP club was a rousing success. Now midway through leave, the Normandy was docked at the Citadel for the more intimate "officer's club" gathering at the Dark Star and other distractions offered by the Citadel. Cadrina hoped that she could reconcile with Ashley and have her attend as well.

Cadrina shivered and drew her jacket up a bit as she rounded the block. Couldn't they regulate the temperature around here, she thought to herself. Or is that also "part of the charm?"

From the outside, Duscaat's looked like most other bars Cadrina went to. Once inside however, it was as if she stepped back in time. From the wood floors and paneling to the antequated neon signs; there was even an old style jukebox off to one side blaring period music. The volus did not miss a thing. Cadrina slowly surveyed the bar interior and its clientele, some who acknowledged her presence with whistling and drunken declarations of love and lust.

"Ma eyes haf seen a anghul. Prettah blahnd anghul, please sit wit me?"

Cadrina mouthed "Hi" and gave a small courtesy wave as she walked further into the bar. She felt something squish under her heel.

"Ugh, do I want to know what this is?" Cadrina moaned as she cleaned off her shoe.

"Hello there, earth-clan," a voice wheezed from behind. Cadrina turned to see the head of the old volus just peeking above the counter. "Haven't seen you here before. Vale Duscaat"

"Cady Shepard," she responded.

"Shepard, eh" Duscaat meditated for a bit "Hey, you're not THE Command-"

Cadrina immediately placed an index finger to her lips to silence the observant bartender. Duscaat relented.

"Right, right. Don't need a drunken mob now. So then, what's your pleasure?"

"Looking for a friend of mine. She's supposed to be a real pool shark."

"Oh… you mean Ashley," Duscaat deduced. Just then a roar of disappointment sounded from the alcove in back. "Sounds like she's taking down another victim. Knuckleheads'll keep trying." chuckled Duscaat and leaned towards Cadrina "You're not gonna try your luck, are you? Then again, if you are… and you are who you SAY you are, but 'aren't'" Duscaat gave the volus equivalent of a wink "You just may have what it takes!"

Cadrina grinned "I sure hope so. Wish me luck!"

Duscaat gave a mock salute as she proceeded to the small crowd in back "Onward, brave soldier!"

Ashley Williams leaned on her cuestick, smiling wide and counting aloud as her opponent ticked off credits to her chit, the crowd counting along. "Five Hun-dred!" they cheered as the last credit was transferred. Her opponent groaned "No way, Ash. You got these tables rigged somehow. No way you coulda made that shot!"

"Aah, ya big baby," Ashley snapped back "You place ya bets and ya takes your chances! Got enough creds left to cab home to Mama?"

The crowd gave a low "ooh" as Ashley's latest conquest dismissed her with a hand wave as he stormed off. Ashley turned her attention to the crowd "O-kay! Whoooz next?"

Cadrina watched from a short distance away, careful not to let Ashley see her. She laughed at seeing her old friend in action; she was as good a pool player as she claimed. Ashley had let her hair loose and was wearing a dark red turtleneck sweater with rolled up sleeves and jeans. It was a nice look for her, Cadrina observed. She giggled as she saw Ashley trying to bait another hapless shill from the crowd.

"Ah come on, nobody feelin lucky?" teased Ashley. "The night is young! Hey, maybe after I have a coupla more drinks, you might have a shot at me… at the game, I mean." She then hopped as if she were a child in a tantrum. "Ohhh, who-else-wants to-play-y-y-y?"

The moment was perfect. Cadrina took up a cuestick and stepped up into the light.

"I'll take you on..."

Ashley stopped her childish bouncing and stood transfixed. The crowd went silent. A veteran witness of Ashley's pool hall prowess nugded her shoulder, trying to snap her out of it.

"Ash. Ash, you all right? You look like you just saw Jesus shotgun a beer…"

The crowd regarded the new opponent. One among them recognized her as Commander Shepard from the news feeds and started to share his discovery only to be smacked silent by the baseball caps of his bar buddies. This was going to be a show.

Ashley managed to blink. "Shepard…"

"How about it, Ash?" challenged Cadrina, "If I win, you join me for drinks. If you win… I'll pick up the bar tab for you and your friends for the rest of the evening"

The gathering voiced its approval and began to chant "take-take-take" hoping Ashley would accept. Ashley's eyes darted around the pool table, then back to Cadrina. What the hell is she doing here? How did she find me? She's Shepard, she can do anything, that's how! She wished she were elsewhere, anywhere but here. Ashley came here to escape from ghosts, not to shoot pool with them. But even if she beat Shepard, she knew she was not going to be let off the hook so easily. The ambient chanting became drumbeats in her head, the bar patrons natives beying for blood. Shepard the lioness waiting in the pit. They will not be denied their sport.

Damn you, Shepard…

Ashley eyed the pool table again and gestured to it. "Rack 'em up.."

The spectators cheered. Game time.

Cadrina managed to hold her own with Ashley, but it was down to the wire. Cadrina still had two solids left on the table near a corner pocket. Ashley only needed to sink her nearby striped ball to win. She checked her angles, lined up her cue and took the shot. What should have been her "easy money" shot was blocked and deflected by one of the solids. The crowd murmured as she cursed silently and stepped back.

It was now Cadrina's turn. She noted how her solids were now both flush against the side almost touching, one very close to the corner pocket. Ashley's stripe and the cue ball were set in prime spots. Cadrina had the angles plotted. With enough momentum and just the right amount of side, she thought, we'll have magic.

Her memory quickly flashed back to her friend in N7 who she worked with to invent "Sniper-Pool" for a marksmanship exhibition. A pool shark himself who showed her how to adapt her skill with a sniper rifle to the table.

She lined up the shot.

Another flash and she was at another pool hall years earlier during shore leave playing with her boyfriend, who gave her an intimate lesson in "feeling the target" and "applying the right amount of English."

She took a breath, exhaled and stabbed the cue ball. It sped towards Ashley's lone stripe and knocked it between the solids with such force that one solid went straight into the nearby corner pocket and the other went spinning to the corner pocket on the other end. As it neared, it slowed down more and more. The onlookers held their breath – it appeared that would be a "close, but no cigar" moment. Just as the last solid appeared to come to a complete stop, gravity took over and it fell into the pocket.

Cheers exploded from the audience. "Yeeaaaaah!" "FUCKIN A!" "That was AWWESOMMME!"

Ashley leaned on her cuestick and sternly looked across the table at Cadrina who now sported the sam Cheshire Cat grin she had earlier that evening.

"you… bitch…" Ashley mouthed.

Ashley's veteran fan chimed in "That was one helluva trick shot, girl!"

Cadrina bowed playfully "Ta-daa!" Her new fans patted her shoulders and offered high fives.

Ashley rolled her eyes. This woman was just going to play up this adulation for all its worth.

"Well?" she fired at Cadrina, injecting enough venom to quiet the crowd and grab their attention. All eyes on the new pool hall queen. How would she respond?

Cadrina sized up the crowd and gave her response

"Well, I don't know about you but I sure am thirsty!"

Her fans seconded her statement. Ashley broke into a grin and shook her head. Should have known, she chided to herself and walked over to join her friend. All groaned and began to disperse as Cadrina and Ashley started towards the counter, but the new queen had one more surprise for her subjects.

"Hey… hey….for being such great guys… have a round on me!"

The people rejoiced and headed towards the counter to place orders. Cadrina fired up her omni-tool. I'm coming back to this place again, she thought.

The night drifted on. The bar was nearly empty save for a couple of patrons that looked as if they may need to be chisled free from their seats. Cadrina and Ashley were still seated at the counter sipping beer and bringing each other up to date on their lives. Cadrina was nearing the end of her epic tale of resurrection, Collectors, abducted humans and the trecherous Cerberus organization. Ashley hung on every word.

"There we were, priming the base to blow." Cadrina related " Then Mr. Illusive pops up trying to stop me. Says we can use the base against the Reapers, that we couldn't pass up the opportunity."

"So he can make his own damn Reaper ride like Saren had," said Ashley "What did you do?"

"What else could I do?", Cadrina replied as she began to take another sip of her beer, " I flipped the switch, flipped him off and rrrr-ran like hell!"

Ashley laughed. "Good! That must've burned up Mistuh Illu-sive!"

"Boy, was heeeee pissed!" snickered Cadrina. The old friends sighed in near perfect unison and took a moment to enjoy their beer buzz.

Ashley's face dimmed down. "I'm sorry I doubted you, Shepard – uh, Cady. Forgot…"

Cadrina waved off her friend's gaffe " Horizon was awkward for both of us, to say the least."

"I'll drink to that," toasted Ashley and took another swig of her beer.

"Let's bring this back to you, Ashtray. Aside from the cushy promotion and your… second job, what else have you been up to? Anyone special in your life?"

"No, Cadence. Haven't really had much time for that lately. When I did… well… I've been striking out so far."

Cadrina frowned, finding this difficult to believe.

"How about you and Liara? Did you think she'll ever come back?"

"God, I hope so," said Cadrina wistfully. Ashley thought of Liara for a few moments more. Finding her on Therum. Being forced to fight and kill her mother. Ilos. Alchera…

Cadrina set down her glass and looked at Ashley who was now lost in thought. "Ash?"

Ashley woke from her reverie "Oh, sorry… I was just thinking… the day you died…"

"Ash, you don't have to go there.."

"When the last pod came back and only Joker came out… he told us what happened… I.. I just went numb. The others… most were in tears… and shock…. Wrex was pounding the walls, screaming how you deserved a warrior's death, that we should find the bastards responsible. Garrus… just sat with his head down… I couldn't tell if he was crying… Tali was with Joker….."

Cadrina listened as Ashley continued

"Liara and Joker took it worst of all…. He blamed himself for your death…. I heard he tried to commit suicide once…"

"Oh my god…" exhaled Cadrina. That's why they grounded him.

"Glad to hear he's better now…. poor Liara…" Ashley paused

"She.. just… lost it… first her mother, then you… she actually pinned Joker to a wall and just scr-eamed at him… they had trouble restraining her…. she just… collapsed on the ground, gave up…. kept screaming your name… kept screaming 'why…why'"

Cadrina's head drooped down, eyes downcast "I had no idea. I wish that I could…"

Cadrina looked up and turned to her friend whose face was now crumpled and reddened. Ashley bent forward, held her hands over her mouth. Her eyes squeezed tight…

"Ashley…Ash?"

Two sobs escaped from Ashley's hands.

"Ash!" Cadrina put her arm around Ashley's shoulders and used her free hand to try to get her to look up

"Ash?"

It happened too quickly. Ashley turned, gripped Cadrina's head and crushed her lips against her friend's. Cadrina was shocked, even more so at the fact that she didn't make much of an effort to break free. The surreal moment seemed to last an eternity. At last, Ashley loosened her grip and backed away, regaining a bit of composure. Her eyes slowly opened to see Cadrina's face frozen with a look of disbelief mixed with pity. She then realized what she had done…

"O-omigodimsorry!" Ashley bolted from her stool and ran towards the restrooms in back.

Cadrina blinked and shook her head, rubbing one temple. It's not a dream, she thought. That actually happened. The remaining barflys took notice and hooted.

"Adhmit et anghul, you just toooo beeutiphul!"

"Give me a break, guys," Cadrina responded. She started towards the back, calling after Ashley. She ran into Duscaat on the way.

"What happened?" he asked "I saw Ashley head into the ladies room. Looked really upset."

"I know, Duscaat," said Cadrina. "I'm gonna go talk to her."

Cadrina proceeded into the women's restroom. Turget called after her.

"It's also last call! Can't stay open much longer! The wife worries!"

Cadrina could hear Ashley's sobs echo throughout the darkened room. Even the restroom itself dated back to the 20th century with its cracked floor tiles and silver metal stalls. Cadrina followed the sound towards the back. She found Ashley slumped down on the floor in a corner by the sink with her back to the wall. Hair disheveled and her face tear-streaked. She looked up at Cadrina.

"I dunno why I did that…. What made me do that?" rambled Ashley as Cadrina knelt down to her side "I like guys…. I love guys…I … guess I didn't… realize… how much... I missed you… I … I…"

Cadrina took Ashley's hand and gave a reassuring squeeze. Ashley stared into her friend's eyes. Her mouth quivered trying to form the words. She eventually pushed them out.

"…I love you."

Cadrina's face melted into saddened concern. She leaned in a little more, still holding Ashley's hand. "Oh, Ash.."

"I love you.. Cady. You are… the strongest… most courageous… understanding… beautiful.. person… that I have ever known." Ashley caught her breath and continued.

"When I saw you on Horizon… I couldn't believe it was you… back from out of nowhere… I wanted to hate you… I knew deep down you could never work for Cerberus… I said all those things… tried to turn you away… but you were all sweetness and understanding…. Even after the things I said"

Cadrina sat down on the floor next to Ashley and listened further.

"I got on with my life after you died… tried to find a shoulder to cry on, arms to hold me… I had.. even more trouble.. going out than I did before I knew you. Men were intimidated by me. They just couldn't see me as more than just a soldier, more than just part of 'Team Shepard' no matter how..hard… I tried…"

Ashley's face crumpled again.

"Ash, it's a big galaxy," Cadrina consoled, stroking Ashley's back "There's millions of guys out there. Many of them would give anything to be with you."

Ashley took up Cadrina's hands.

"But they're not… you…"

She stroked Cadrina's face, gently carressed her blond hair.

"They're not you" Ashley regarded Cadrina's face caught in the lamplight of the sink overhead.

"You really do look like an angel," she sighed

Ashley then thumped her head on the wall. "Dammit, Shepard, why couldn't you have been a man?" she spat "Bad enough I have to worry about breaking you up with Liara, now I find out I'm a lesbian, too?"

Cadrina remained unfazed.

"Are you trying to break me and Liara up?" she questioned calmly.

"..No.."

"Do you like girls? Have you always liked them.. secretly?"

"No!"

Cadrina shook Ashley's shoulder "Then don't worry…"

Ashley exhaled in relief, grateful that Cadrina was being really understanding and compassionate about it all. But then she had always been, which is what Ashley loved most about her.

"I.. missed you… sooo much, Cady"

"'Williams women are very direct'," recalled Cadrina, causing Ashley to snort "A hug or a handshake just won't cut it, huh?"

Cadrina lifted Ashley's chin. Ashley looked at her friend apologetically.

"You have a lot to offer, Ashley Madeline Williams," said Cadrina "You're beautiful, strong, dedicated, fun-loving" Cadrina's eyes rolled down and a smirk drifted across her lips "..a really good kisser.."

Ashley guffawed. Cadrina quickly followed suit.

"I know, I know," Cadrina defended after settling down "It's crazy. We're just two crazy drunks here. In the morning, it'll all seem like a dream. A hazy, crazy dream."

Ashley thought on her friend's last statement and an idea formed.

"Hey, Cady? As long as we're being crazy here, can I ask you for something?"

Cadrina placed a hand on one of her friend's knees. "What is it?"

"One last kiss?"

Cadrina raised an eyebrow and was about to speak but Ashley interrupted. "I know - I knew you'd just say no. Figured 'just ask,' may regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't at least ask. I just thought it'd be nice to have one little moment.. No Reapers, no Council, no geth, no death, no fighting. Nothing else matters. Nothing exists. One beautiful moment. Just me… and you all to myself."

Cadrina looked quizzical as she saw the sincerity in Ashley's eyes. I can't believe I'm gonna do this, she thought. After several moments, she blurted "Are you sure you don't like girls?"

"Positive," smiled back Ashley.

"..All right.."

Ashley and Cadrina stood on their knees. Cadrina had her arms to her sides; her friend would take the initiative. Ashley took Cadrina's head in her hands and leaned in. Cadrina swallowed and closed her eyes, bracing for what would probably be another smoldering kiss. She then felt a soothing warmth on her upper lip, felt it tense as Ashley ever so gently pursed her lips around it. Ashley then repeated this on her friend's lower lip. Finally, Ashley closed her lips slowly, delicately around Cadrina's and held there for a moment.

Cadrina had expected to be somewhat repulsed, but found this act strangely touching and profound. This isn't a kiss from someone who wants to bed you, thought Cadrina. It's a show of reverence, of deep love for someone she cares for. Someone she thought she'd never see again. Like she's trying to draw strength and love from you. Or offering a prayer, maybe? When Ashley withdrew, for a split second Cadrina found herself missing the sensation and blinked several times. Ashley then held her, kissed her cheek.

"Thank you.." she whispered in her ear.

Cadrina slowly wrapped her arms around Ashley, stroking her hair and smiling warmly.

"Let's go, Ashley."

Vale Duscaat stood arms akimbo just outside the door to the women's restroom as Cadrina and Ashley emerged, arm in arm.

"You two kiss and make up?" he asked.

The two friends looked at each other and then to the volus.

"Didn't want to to lock you guys in," Duscaat continued "It's real late! What'll I tell the wife when I get home?"

"We'll vouch for you. Tell her you were with us," answered Ashley. Duscaat cocked his head to one side.

"Uhh.. no, bad idea," Cadrina corrected "Just tell her you got robbed – no, wait.."

"Just go home, you two," said Duscaat as he waddled away "I recommend you drive. You both look too screwed up to walk!"

They started slowly walking towards the front door, still entwined. Ashley turned to Cadrina with a quirky grin.

"We did, didn't we?"

Cadrina grinned back and both girls giggled. Cadrina eyed the wall clock; it was pretty late. Not late enough for the one other person remaining at Duscaat's.

"Ash und Shep-urd settin en a tree..."

"Shut up!" spat Ashley as she and Cadrina left the bar.

"Nighd, ladees!" the drunk croaked. Duscaat helped him to his feet.

END