Disclaimer: OK. This is the 23rd in The Songs of EO. I used Why, by Rascal Flatts. There's an awesome video by bensonlover99 on youtube that inspired me. Go check it out! This takes place directly after Hammered. Reviews are appreciated, and nothing that is known to be someone else's isn't mine.
Why
By Julia
The apartment was quiet as Elliot let himself in with his key. Livvy had given it to him for emergencies. They hadn't heard from her in two days. They were getting worried. He headed further in, calling out Liv's name. His heart stopped for a second as he saw the bottle of pills lying on the coffee table. He went to pick it up. It was empty. Tears filled his eyes. He didn't want to see what he knew he was going to see. He wasn't sure that he was going to be able to handle it. It was the woman he loved.
He headed into the bathroom to look first, thinking she'd taken them in there. She had, but she wasn't in there. A bottle of Jack Daniels sat on the counter. It was empty, and he still saw no pills, so he had to assume that she'd taken them all. Tears started falling down his cheek. What had she done?
He headed into the bedroom, and ran to Liv, who was lying on the floor, not breathing. His heart was pounding and tears were rolling down his face. He held her to him, feeling her pulse. It was gone. She was gone. He sobbed as he held her as close as he could. She was so cold.
He held her close to him for another couple of minutes, before calling the bus. He knew he'd lost his chance to save her. His heart was still pounding as he kissed her for the first and last time.
The medics were there within a few minutes, and they had to prise him away from her. He stood against the wall, tears falling down his face as they pronounced her dead on the scene. They wheeled her out as Elliot fell to the floor, crying the hardest he'd ever done in his life. He could hardly believe that she had done this. What had been so hard for her that she had had to end her life? Why hadn't she asked him for help?
You must have been a place so dark
You couldn't feel the light
reachin' for you
through that stormy cloud
Now here we are
gathered in our little hometown
this can't be the way
you meant to draw a crowd
They all stood in the cemetary, listening to the preacher Elliot had procured talk about how wonderful Liv had been. His tears were falling down his face. Kathy hadn't chosen to come, but his kids had. They stood beside him, looking stoic.
Cragen, Munch, Fin, Alex, Casey, a bunch of cops, and Olivia's brother and his family were all there. There were also some victims that Olivia had helped. They all watched as the coffin was lowered into the ground. Elliot dropped to his knees and began to cry, even harder. He could feel his kids putting their arms around him, but all he kept thinking was "Why, Liv, why'd you do that?"
oh why
that's what I keep asking
was there anything I
could have said or done
Oh, I had no clue you were
masking a troubled soul
God only knows
what went wrong and why
You would leave the stage
in the middle of a song
Now in my mind
I keep you frozen
as a seventeen year old
rounding third to score
the winning run
You always played with passion
no matter what the game
When you took the stage
you'd shine just like the sun
A couple of weeks later, Elliot was walking around Manhattan in a daze. He was remembering Liv. He remembered walking these streets with her, he remembered watching her with victims, how she cared so much. He smiled to himself as he remembered how alive she'd been, when she was interviewing perps and suspects. She'd loved doing her job so much. Why why why did she kill herself? He'd never gotten to give her the children he knew she wanted, it was such a waste.
Now the trees
are swaying in the early
autumn breeze a golden
sun is shining on my face
through tangled thoughts
I hear a mockingbird sing
this old world really ain't that bad a place
Elliot found himself smack in the middle of Central Park. He could hear a bird singing, and he could feel a sense of calm fall over him. This huge park in the middle of the city. It was autumn, the leaves were just starting to turn. He couldn't believe Livvy had chosen to leave this world when it had a place like Central Park. He couldn't believe she would leave him like that. What was he supposed to do without her?
Oh why, there's no
comprehending
and who am I to try to
judge or explain
Oh but I have one burning question
who told you life wasn't worth the fight
They were wrong, they lied
now you're gone and we cry
'cause it's not like you to walk away
in the middle of a song
your beautiful song
your absolutely beautiful song