Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Saiyuki. If I did, believe me, you would be able to tell.
Prologue
The ever constant tick, tick, tick of the clock, accompanied by the pop, pop, pop of gum bubbles popping was slowly grating on Professor Jianyi's – or more preferably, Dr. Ni – last nerve. Sure, it was fine when Goku did it because not only did he have an excuse, but also because he didn't pop bubbles in tune with the fucking clock.
The black-haired science professor was about to smack Lirin upside the head with the teacher's addition book. Why? Cause it was bigger than the student version, that's why. Plus, the dirty-blond was starting to piss him off.
Getting ready to fling the book, Dr. Ni was interrupted by a loud knock to the door before Dean Bosatsu walked in, not bothering to wait for an answer in the first place. Lirin and Goku popped their gum bubbles once more before only the clock could be heard in the silent room; Dr. Ni and the dean staring at each other.
"Anyway," the busty woman started, "These two will be your new students. Congrats Sanzo, Gojyo, welcome to hell." The dean waved to the bored-to-death students before she walked out, not bothering to explain her sudden and short interruption. Sanzo – the blond – and Gojyo – the redhead – stared at the professor, not at all knowing what to do.
Someone in the far back coughed – probably Yaone – bringing Dr. Ni from his thoughts. "Ah, yes! Genjyo Sanzo and Sha Gojyo. I remember now!" The black-haired man stated, throwing his arms in the air before twirling around in his chair. Sanzo's eye twitched silently while the teacher did this. "Anyway, I am Professor Jianyi but I prefer Dr. Ni. Welcome to, as Dean Bosatsu so lovely put it, the classroom from hell. You may sit wherever you like, I don't really give a shit."
Sanzo took a seat behind Kougaiji as he looked like the least annoying person in the classroom. Gojyo took a seat beside his half-brother, Dokugaku, knowing that he'd at least get some help in getting caught up – not that he really cared to begin with. Dr. Ni quickly penciled in their names on the seating chart before standing up, just as the bell rang.
Roll call was left to right, front to back; making it slightly easier on both the students and the teacher. Even with their number of students, many chairs were empty, not yet being claimed. Many students took advantage of this, the teacher not really giving a shit to begin with.
The consistent popping started again, though not as loud as before, being drowned out by the calling of names.
"Yaone." Pop. "Here."
"Zakuro." Pop, pop. "Yo."
"Homura." Pop. "Nan."
"Shien." Pop. "Here."
Pop. "Will you stop that Lirin!?" Dr. Ni shouted, throwing a clip board at the young demon girl. Said girl quickly ducked, causing the piece of wood to slam into Zakuro's face – knocking him out of his seat. While he recovered – with the help of Yaone – Lirin stood up with a frown on her face.
"How come Goku gets to chew gum and blow bubbles while I can't?" The dirty-blond questioned, crossing her arms and a frown set on her face. "One, Goku needs it to help keep him focused and two, he doesn't make it an annoying habit." Dr. Ni growled out, going back to roll call.
Lirin scowled, sticking her tongue out when Goku made a face at her. "Not fair." She muttered under her breath, pulling out a piece of paper to start doodling on. Goku stood up suddenly, knocking his chair over and forcing many of the other students to look at him. "Yes Goku?" Dr. Ni asked, not really paying attention. The boy probably had another useless epiphany.
"Did you know that the dot over the letter 'i' is called a "tittle"?" Surprised that Goku actually said something that no one else in the room knew, Dr. Ni was truly impressed. "Hakkai still making you watch the history channel?" Goku simply nodded, sitting down in his chair and returning to blowing and popping bubbles.
"It amazes me how cute yet fucking weird you are Goku." Hazel muttered, pushing his silver-colored hair out of his face before putting his hat back on – Zakuro had earlier knocked it off with a spit ball. The short brunette simply ignored him, being to intent with making the biggest fucking bubble he could.
Sanzo rolled his eyes at the boy's antics. Although, he could help but think that the silver-haired boy was right; Goku was cute. Gojyo snickered lightly, already liking the class. "Anyone know where Gat is?" Dr. Ni interrupted, looking over his seating chart.
"Probably died of blood loss from imagining Goku naked an-" The rest of Homura's retort was cut off short when Hakkai threw an eraser with deadly aim, choking as it lodged itself within his throat. "Nice going Hakkai!" The two brunette's high-fived, Goku grinning wildly while Hakkai settled with a slight smile.
"Ignore Homura. He's got a major crush on Goku." Kougaiji said to the two new students, having to lean over Dokugaku slightly – not that the demon minded anyway. "So, just who is this odd bunch?" Gojyo asked, looking around slightly.
"Good question Mr. Sha!" Dr. Ni exclaimed, startling many of the students. "This is Goku, the cute chibi-chan of the classroom. Hakkai, the genius with a killer aim. Homura, the creepy pervert with a crush on chibi-chan. Yaone, the shy yet smart girl. Shien and Zenon, Homura's 'lackeys'. Zakuro, the teacher's pet. Lirin, the odd annoying girl that never shuts up. Hazel, the smart ass and Gat – who is absent – his lackey. Kougaiji, the most popular boy at school along with his boyfriend and bodyguard, Dokugaku. Yada, yada. You get the idea." Dr. Ni finished off, having pointed to everyone that he mentioned.
"Why do you keep calling me chibi-chan?" Goku asked, puffing his cheeks out slightly in irritation. Dr. Ni looked over at the boy for a minute for turning to Hakkai – who was luckily sitting next to the short brunette. "Enlighten him later. I wish you luck."
"Excuse me professor, but you forgot Kami-sama an-" Yaone was promptly ignored as Dr. Ni turned around and pulled out his teacher's addition science book. Everyone else grabbed theirs from their backpacks. Kougaiji promptly raised his hand.
Though, instead of waiting for not being called on, he voiced his opinion. "Sanzo and Gojyo don't have books." The redhead said simply, not bothering to take his out. He left it in Dokugaku's backpack for a reason.
"Ah, yes." Was all the black-haired replied with, probably ignoring the statement altogether. But, soon enough, two books flew across the room, promptly aiming and missing their intended targets. Zakuro snorted slightly and Lirin tried to resist the urge to fall onto the floor laughing. Dr. Ni merely scowled.
"Get out a piece of paper and copy the notes I have on chapter three." With that, the professor pulled the projector screen up, revealing words upon words, paragraphs upon paragraphs of notes. Everyone groaned, not at all happy with the work they were given.
And the sad thing was that they were better off copying out of the book itself. God dammit.
This was a spur of the moment idea. I do intend to continue on with the story but don't expect constant updates. I happen to have more stories I need to work on. Anyway, reviews make me write faster, especially good ones. So, leave me one and we'll all be happy. Also, I will warn you that this is basically a crack fic, including slight (if not a lot) OOCness, and overall crackness. Enjoy.