Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I wish I did because that would be awesome, but no dice.
(12345)
DRACO'S GAY
"You're gay."
"I am bisexual."
"Yes, you like boys and girls. And your favorite type of girl has a penis. Draco Malfoy, you are a flaming homosexual."
Draco sniffed. Pansy had always spoken bluntly to him; it was one of her best and worst qualities. But she didn't have to quite so frank.
"I am bisexual."
"No Draco," the girl said, tension thrumming the thin thread of patience in her voice, "You are gay. And moreover you are gay for Potter."
Blaise nodded from his seat on the other side of the desk, well out of range of any drunken hexes.
Just after dinner when Draco was taking his usual constitutional/Prefect round through the castle Pansy and Blaise had mentioned a particularly lovely view of the lake from the windows in an abandoned classroom.
They had also mentioned a particularly lovely bottle of Firewhiskey secreted in the aforementioned classroom, and in the interests of diligence and watchfulness Draco followed to remove the bottle from the grasping hands of his fellow students by any means necessary.
Now that more than half of the bottle was gone, and the room and the view it contained were pleasantly blurry, Blaise and Pansy had turned their attention to a more vital issue.
"I am not gay. And I am most definitely not gay for Potter. My father would kill me."
Blaise and Pansy shared a look before Pansy turned back to Draco, "Love, your father already knows and he's fine with it, in case you haven't noticed the parade of Potter look-a-likes he's been running back and forth under your nose. But one is too tall, and another's hair is too black. Another's glasses are the wrong shape and don't emphasize his eyes enough."
Blaise jumped in, "Frankly Draco, there are only two people who don't know you have the hots for Potter. You, and Potter."
Draco let a spark of hope build, then tamped it fiercely. "It doesn't matter anyway. He's as straight as a ruler."
"Hardly," Blaise replied, smirking. "The only person in the school gayer than Potter is Finnegan."
"Finnegan," Draco repeated questioningly.
Blaise leered, "Lovely cock, but he's a complete Nellie bottom."
Draco, head muzzy form the alcohol and the sexual preference-based revelations, leaned back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling where small colonies of kangaroo mice hopped from stone to stone.
"So," Pansy said, nudging him heavily.
"So what," Draco replied, yawning.
"You're gay for Potter. He's gay in general. Are you going to go for it?"
Draco shifted upright and saw both Pansy and Blaise looking at him expectantly.
He sighed, "Look, what do you expect, for me to run off and find him and declare my eternal love? Or even better, the enduring fidelity of my genitalia?"
Pansy and Blaise nodded, and Draco let out a bitter laugh.
"I think I have a better chance of him coming in here and kissing me right now."
The words fell into the otherwise silent room like bombs and all three young people turned to the door where…
...nothing happened.
Draco turned away first, burying his head in his hands. He heard Pansy and Blaise muttering to each other, but he was drunk and couldn't be arsed to try and hear what they were saying.
So he was completely surprised when a gentle hand lifted his chin and he found himself face to face with Harry Potter.
The green eyed boy had a photo and a crumpled piece of parchment in his hand, but all Draco really noticed were those lips, so close to his.
They shaped the words carefully, with a delicate precision, "So, I'm gay. And you danced on a pole."
Draco nodded dumbly, then leaned in and pressed his mouth against Potter's.
It was awkward, and messy, and the overhanging flavor of Firewhiskey ran through both of their mouths, but practice would eventually make perfect. Draco pulled back slowly with his eyes closed.
"Open your eyes," Harry said gently
"I don't want to. I'm drunk and I'm pretty sure you're not real."
Warm fingers brushed against Draco's cheek and he opened his eyes, seeing Harry gazing up at him shyly.
"So, this is going to happen," Harry said, his voice shaking.
Draco nodded silently again. He had always prided himself on his quick wit, but there were no words for he moment. As he moved into Harry for another of those kisses he saw Pansy and Blaise shaking hands with Ron and Hermione before the four left the classroom and closed the door quietly behind them.
Then Harry introduced his tongue to the kiss and Draco closed his eyes.
He was definitely gay for Potter.
(12345)
Note: So this is part two, the sequel to HARRY'S GAY. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope it made you laugh as that was the intention. The picture is the girl-Draco photo, and the parchment is the Marauder's Map. And if the second to last paragraph gave you the idea that this was completely planned by the Slytherins and Gryffindors to get these two together than you are picking up what am putting down.
Also, as this confused my beta, 'nellie bottom' is slang (and considering my knowledge of current gay culture, very old slang) for an effeminate 'bottom' (and I'm not defining that one. If you don't know what it means you may be reading the wrong genre of fiction.)
In my previous two updates I asked if anyone had a story they wanted to read. I still want to know. So if there's some story type you want to see my version of, put it in a review and I'll give it a shot. I like writing stories, and I like giving people what they want (to my occasional detriment) so drop me a line.
Please review, or I will put cracker crumbs in your bed. Seriously.