WARNING: Spoilers up to Tokyo Ghoul: Re Chapter 7 (IIRC)
Just a quick look into the head of our dear protagonist and what might be running through it if/when he remembers his past :) Quick note though, I'm trying out a new writing style here so the tenses might be kind-of, sort-of, all over the place. Apologies! Oh and this might be kinda crappy (I can't really tell with my own work anymore), I might revise it sometime later when I get the time.
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Tokyo Ghoul franchise or any of its characters; those belong to Ishida Sui and all other respective owners. This is purely for entertainment.
It started like any other raid. In fact, it was just like any other raid, perfectly routine, bland and if you have been on the job just long enough, almost boring. Ghouls that banded together were often weak; they were desperate, sniveling creatures that had lost any ability to fend for themselves, reduced to resorting to the age old principle for survival: safety in numbers. Many would not have fed in weeks, some would even be bordering on starvation. They were easy prey by far. So long as one stayed light on their feet and vigilant of their surroundings, it would be an easy job. In, kill, out. Simple.
Or so he had been told.
So when Sasaki Haise had entered the building in the first ward, quinque in hand and wondering how many times he could get away with wounding as opposed to killing the ghouls, the complication that arose threw him off quite a bit.
You see, these raids were routine yes, but they were also never exactly the same and these tiny little differences seemed to have the tendency to cause quite a bit of trouble or in this case, quite a lot of trouble. An unexpected variable had appeared, lithe form perched upon the railings high up in the building, a single wing shimmering in the darkness behind them: Rabbit.
The ukaku-type ghoul who had appeared three years ago and stolen the life of the esteemed first-class ghoul investigator, Mado Kureo, had evolved somewhat into an urban legend. Mado's partner at the time, Amon Koutarou, had been absent during the legendary defeat and as such no one really knew what Rabbit was capable of. All anyone had to go on with, since the ghoul never showed again, was that they were strong enough to take down one of the best investigators the CCG had – which made them pretty damn dangerous. The shift in the attention of the investigators around him was almost tangible as heads snapped up to the rafters above them: the perfect playground for a ranged hunter built for speed.
All around him, senior investigators were barking out orders, the army of CCG officers dividing into two to tackle the stray ghouls and Rabbit respectively.
The team that stayed behind to deal with the infamous ghoul shifted about as the two sides sized each other up, looking for an opportunity to attack. In the end, it was Rabbit that moved first. Morphing into a single streak in the shadows, the ghoul rapidly fired blood-red shards at the investigators below them, their targets parrying with swiftly-drawn quinques and deft rolls out of the line of fire. At the edge of the pack, Sasaki froze, a familiar pressure at the back of his mind demanding his attention. For some odd reason, he had not reacted to the threat. In fact, he had not even felt any threat.
"Sassan?"
Shirazu Ginshi's familiar form stood out at the edge of his vision, pulling his attention back to the battle before them.
"We-we'll help out the other group."
His subordinate nodded and dashed off in the opposite direction. With a backwards glance, Sasaki followed, leaving Rabbit to the other team.
The final ghoul fell, crashing to the ground in a loud thud as the quinque ran cleanly through him. Sasaki flinched at the sight as he watched his colleague withdraw his weapon, instead turning away to find out what had happened to the other team. The sounds of battle had quickly dissipated when the ghouls fell one by one and now, all that was left were Rabbit's light steps on the wood-paneled floor and the repeated hit-and-misses of quinques crashing into pillars and walls as their target side-stepped, jumped over and ducked under their swings. Yet even so, the fight had gone on for too long and the ukaku's famous Achilles' heel was kicking in; the ghoul was getting increasingly sluggish.
Sasaki stared at the fight, half his mind wondering how they had managed to lure the ghoul away from such an advantageous position, and the other half attempting to tune out the sudden ringing in his ears and the pressure in his head that was building more and more as the strikes got closer and closer to hitting home. Ultimately, it was Akira that successfully lands the blow. A single hit from the koukaku-type quinque was sufficient in bringing down the exhausted ghoul, sending them flying in the opposite direction and crashing against the wall in a bloody heap.
The pressure builds.
The investigators saunter forward, Akira in the lead as they move in for the kill.
It's pressing against his skull, throbbing, pulsating, hurting, almost desperate for his attention.
Akira is speaking now. The ghoul is struggling to get up but even their kind cannot heal quite so fast.
His chest is tightening, his heart rate picking up and audible in his ears. His mind pulls forth a single word, repeating it in his head like a mantra: protect, protect, protect...
Akira raises her weapon.
His muscles tense and he shifts, his hands balling into fists as he cracks a single knuckle. Protect, protect, protect, protect, protect...
Akira says one final word: goodbye.
He can't hear anything over the roar of his blood in his ears. He's as tense as coiled wire, a familiar prickling sensation spreading across his lower back. PROTECT, PROTECT, PROTECT, PROTECT!
Akira strikes.
He sees it in slow motion almost, the brutish weapon slicing through the air towards its target, merciless in its pursuit for blood, vengeance for its owner. Rabbit twitches one more time before seemingly giving up, far too exhausted to oppose their fate.
"Why did you have to change?"
He moves, the tension built within him unleashing itself at full force as he puts himself between them, his kagune ripping through the back of his coat and coming up instinctively to deflect the blow, sending the heavy weapon hurtling in the opposite direction. He blinks, confused as to when he had decided to move, and looks down to find the broken body of Rabbit staring up at him, their small frame held close to his chest in a bridal carry.
The wind rips against him in the cold night as he steps out onto the roof, the frost biting into the skin of his bare feet in indignation. He ignores it and turns to face the fight occurring on the neighboring building.
"Sassan!"
Shirazu barrels through the crowd of officers that were sharing identical looks of bafflement and Sasaki stares at him for a moment. He barely notices Akira putting a hand over her mouth, or the unshed tears building in her eyes. He doesn't even bat an eyelid when one by one, the investigators raise their guns, aiming them straight at him.
He recognizes the Kirishima siblings immediately, the small lump on the ground jolting him into action. Oblivious to the new arrival, Ayato spreads his kagune behind him, the RC cells twitching before the wings harden into rubies, preparing to fire.
He stares at them blankly as they cock their guns then one of them raises his hand. They fire.
He scoops his friend up into his arms and raises his kagune to block the attack.
The red tendrils react instinctively, curling in front of him to form a wall.
The shards cut him anyway, the sharp pain stinging his skin as he carries her to safety...
The bullets tear at his shins and ankles...
And finally, finally, the world is whole again. He blinks. His mind implodes.
He's standing in the room again, the familiar checkered floor laid out before him, the same barred ceiling hanging over his head in a chamber that seems to never end. There is a great irony in a large room like this; you would think that it was spacious and you were free about but the truth is that no matter how much you ran in any one direction, you will never reach the exit. He can already feel the fear gripping hold of him, his body stiffening when he hears the clanking of chains behind him.
"You're weak, Haise."
He takes a deep breath in an effort to calm himself. He has had this dream a thousand times before yet not once had he ever turned back to look. He didn't need to; he knew exactly what was behind him.
"You know you want it, you know you need me."
The monster was moving closer and he could almost visualize it: a head of dull white hair, a beaked mask disguising its face, a tattered black shirt and white shorts covering its broken body, nails turned charcoal black, and covering every inch of its ghastly skin, cuts and bruises that would never heal. He squeezes his eyes shut, willing himself to wake up. The monster was moving closer, the chains sliding over the tiled floor.
"Just accept me."
Then it stops and he can feel its breath on the back of his neck. He takes another deep breath but he wasn't waking up. He tries to move but his feet are frozen to the ground. There was nothing he could do. He had to make it go away; he had to make the dream end. So he did the only thing he could.
He turned.
The room disappeared, practically torn apart by his one motion as a sea of flowers spread out before him, expanding endlessly into the horizon. The monster was gone. Instead, off in the distance, two figures were playing. An older boy with snowy white hair and a younger one, a full head and a half shorter than him, who sported jet black hair. They stop when they notice him and smile, moving across the field to stand before him, hand-in-hand. The older one smiles warmly at him, opening his mouth to speak.
"We've slept a long time haven't we?"
He stares at them, silent tears streaking down his cheeks as the pieces start to fall back into place.
"It's time to wake up, don't you think?" the younger boy chimes, tilting his head to one side curiously.
The two share a quick look before raising their free hands towards him, smiling encouragingly.
"Are you ready now?"
He pauses for a moment as images present themselves before him: Red tentacles reaching out to devour him... A hospital bed... A checkered room and the cold eyes of his tormentor... Centipedes, centipedes crawling in his ears... Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain... Pliers clamping down on his fingers and toes... Pain, pain, pain, pain... A quinque cutting through the air above him-A coffee shop tucked away in a ward he did not recognise... A warm old man handing him sugar cubes... A little girl looking up at him over the edge of her book, eager eyes seeking him out as she pointed out word after word on the page... A little yellow bird... A purple-haired man begging him not to leave... A rabbit keychain... And a young boy, nose running, a giant grin plastered on his face reaching out to him - the quiet kid that never fit in.
"So, do you want to become friends with me?"
Tears stream down his face as he stares at the proffered hands and then slowly, he takes them. The black-haired boy beams at him, moving to wrap his arms around his waist without letting go of either hand. Drawing back, he smiles at him once more, his eyes revealing wisdom and experience that went well beyond his age.
"Welcome back... Kaneki."
It happens so abruptly that it shocks the investigators into stopping. One moment, Sasaki had raised his kagune to block their attack and the next, he had dropped to the ground, hands cradling his head and red tendrils whipping about in a furious, erratic frenzy. The ghoul he had been carrying went down with him, crashing to the ground by his side before clumsily shifting towards him, a tired hand raised to grab his shoulder.
"Ka...ne..."
Then the screaming started. Rabbit jerked back before seeming to redouble their efforts to get through to their saviour, shaking his shoulders to no avail. The CCG team backs away in a bid to distance themselves from his kagune, looking to one another in confusion and silent request for instruction. Then, just as suddenly as it had started, it stopped.
Sasaki froze, each tentacle halting mid-swing as the entire world seemed to collectively hold its breath. Then slowly he stood, tear tracks running down his cheeks but his expression the perfect picture of calm as he bent down to pick up Rabbit, resuming his prior position and rearranging his kagune behind him. Without another word, he turns away from them, heading in the opposite direction.
"Sasaki?" Akira's voice tears through the heavy silence, ringing throughout the empty room like a death sentence.
He pauses, turning back to meet her in the eye and at that moment, she knows she's lost him.
"Akira-san..."
He looks away from her then and she feels her heart sink.
"That's not my name."
Without waiting for a response, Kaneki moves, his kagune bending easily to his will and lunging him up into the air. Half a second later, he had broken through a window and Sasaki Haise had disappeared.