"So when are we going to tell Alex?" Cat asks once they've finally crawled into bed, pulling Kara close. She's not ready for more with Carter in the house yet, but she does want Kara close enough to feel, close enough to convince herself that this is real. That she's actually managed to let someone in, that she finally knows what it means to love and be loved in return.
"As soon as she has a night off? I'll text her tomorrow to ask, but I want to tell her as soon as possible." Kara's voice is quiet in the darkness, the younger woman obviously lost in thought.
"Do you regret keeping us a secret from her?" Cat asks gently, unable to get a read on Kara's emotions in the dark. Kara might have been the one to insist on waiting, but that doesn't mean it had been an easy decision, or that she hadn't begun to wish she'd made a different choice.
"No, Cat! Not at all. We made the decision together, for good reasons. I'm just impatient now that we told Carter is all." That's not all, Cat can tell that easily enough, but she doesn't say anything. Tonight was an emotional night, and if Kara needs the peace of her own thoughts without Cat pushing, then that's what she'll get.
"I've never kept something like this from her" Kara eventually whispers, barely loud enough for Cat to hear, as if afraid to vocalize the thought. "Alex has always been the person I tell everything to, and I don't want her to be upset we didn't tell her, because it's a decision we made for us. It was the right decision to make for us. But I don't want her to be disappointed in me." And that makes sense to Cat, in a way. Kara lives to be good enough, always has. It drives her, and hiding from someone she loves must seem like a betrayal.
"I'm sure she won't be" Cat tries to reassure her. She knows it won't be easy, but there's no way anyone could possibly be disappointed in Kara. The younger woman is sunshine and goodness personified, and had an undeniable talent for making people love her no matter what the situation. For someone like Alex, who already loved her sister, Cat knew Kara could get through to her. "She might be hurt that we didn't share, I will admit that much. Carter took it well, but he doesn't exactly expect or want to hear about my romantic adventures. A sister is entirely different. But I'm sure she's heard enough about me over the years that I can easily shift the hurt onto myself. After all, it was my insistence that we not tell Carter that created this situation."
"You don't have to do that. You shouldn't do that." Kara sighs, shifting closer into Cat's side. "I don't want her mad at you any more than I want her disappointed in me. And you may have insisted we not tell Carter, but I'm the one who insisted we not tell Alex either. We needed the time for ourselves." Silence falls between them once Kara stops speaking, but the set of her shoulders and the way she'd trailed off tell Cat that there's still more to be said, more behind Kara's fears.
"There's more to it than that, I know you well enough to see that easily by now. What's going on in that head of yours?" This time she pushes, just slightly, because Kara has opened the door. And now that Kara's started thinking about it, Cat knows she won't be able to stop until she gets it all out. If she doesn't talk through it, she'll just lay awake for hours worrying silently as her mind runs in circles. It's one of the few things that both women have completely in common.
"I want her to be happy for us. I'm scared to death she won't approve, that she won't accept us being together. And I know it's not her choice, that nothing she could say would convince me to leave you. But at the same time, I think she could break me, just a little." And she could, the note of fear and almost pain in Kara's voice make that very clear.
But Cat won't let that happen, no matter what she has to do in order to avoid such an outcome. She's willing to take on the entire world to keep Kara happy, so whatever Alex requires to be convinced, Cat will give her. Anything to keep Kara happy, anything to keep her from losing another person she loves. Not that she thinks it could ever come to that. Even the few times she's seen the sisters together it's been obvious how much they mean to each other, and Cat has no delusions that even she is enough to fully come between them.
"We'll be in it together, Kara. Whatever Alex says, I will be right there with you. And I know she would never do anything to hurt you. It may take some explaining, but she loves you and wants you to be happy." It's harder than Cat had expected, being the optimist. Especially when part of her can't stop listing all the ways Alex could tear apart their relationship, all the flaws and cracks she could poke at until they spread. Because even though Cat loves Kara more than she'd ever thought possible, that doesn't mean their relationship is perfect. They both know that, both know it will always take work. And it's worth it a thousand times over.
But it could never be easy, balancing Cat's position and Kara's heroic duties. There have been many cancelled evenings, late arrivals, and even plans that have entirely slipped one mind or another over the past months. There have been snapped comments, hurt feelings, added strain from the continuous secrecy, and hours spent in silent thought as each woman stubbornly refused to give in first. There was pressure on them from what seemed like every direction, all on top of the usual adjustments any serious relationship required.
But for every snapped word or hurt feeling, there was a soft apology and lingering touch. Every time someone asked either of them how the dating pool was treating them, they would retreat into the other's arms at the first chance. Every time they stopped speaking, usually for some ridiculous reason, a single glance would eventually pull them back together. Every obstacle they faced they overcame, gradually learning to find a balance between their lives, how to accept the difficulties and challenges as fact and not let them create even more problems. It's one reason they'd taken the past months for themselves alone, and Cat truly is happy with where they are now. She just worries that Alex will see the remaining flaws as easily as she does, without the benefit of also seeing the strength.
But that will be a fight for later, right now Cat just focuses on holding Kara close. No matter what happens, moments like these are more than enough.
X
It turns out that Alex has the next night free after swapping shifts with another agent who'd needed the weekend off on short notice. Cat isn't entirely sure how to feel about the timing, she's glad that they have the opportunity to quickly get it over with, but she almost wishes she'd had more time to prepare. Only the realization that she could probably take another month and still not be ready keeps her from regretting the sudden timing. That, and the knowledge that Kara wants this.
It is not however enough to settle her nerves, and being in Kara's apartment rather than her own doesn't help either. Cat has managed to adjust to the surroundings over the past months, even begun to love the things that make this space so unapologetically Kara's, but there's no denying that it's not hers. It leaves Cat without the comfort of familiarity, the benefit of being in her own territory for this. She knows it's the best choice, that having this conversation anywhere else would drastically increase the chances it could go badly, but Cat Grant is not used to feeling off balance, and she doesn't much like it.
The lack of time to prepare also means that they have no real plan for the evening, a fact that no doubt will increase the difficulty and awkwardness of the conversation at least tenfold, Cat's sure. Especially when Kara hasn't so much as told Alex that Cat knows she's Supergirl, let alone hinted at a relationship. Cat doesn't see any good way to segue into either of those conversations, but it's not as if there were many reasons Cat would be at Kara's apartment to meet her sister, meaning the chances of idle conversation to start the evening are almost nonexistent.
"Are you certain I shouldn't answer the door? It sends a certain 'I belong here' statement that might ease into things." They're using the few minutes they have left before Alex shows to attempt a rough planning session for the evening, though both know Alex will likely toss it out the window as soon as they start talking. It's more displacement activity than anything else, a way to keep their minds occupied rather than worrying in silence.
"My sister carries at least three weapons at all times and makes the Secret Service look relaxed when it comes to being overprotective. If you open the door when she doesn't know you're here, she'll slip into defensive mode and we'll lose our chance at a relaxed conversation." Kara is obviously every bit as nervous as Cat, anxiously fidgeting in place as she looks around, hand raising to adjust her glasses every few seconds. Cat's almost tempted to tell her to change into her suit for the confidence boost it gives her.
But then she remembers Kara's words from weeks before, asking Cat to let her be her strength. The suit might help, but it would be just as much of a coping mechanism as alcohol. A coping mechanism that Kara shouldn't need, not while Cat can be there for her.
Her feet are moving before she can think beyond that, carrying her to Kara's side. It's almost instinctive at this point to reach out and offer comfort, to pull Kara close and hold her until the tension in her stance starts to fade. She's never been one for physical comfort with a partner, before Kara only Carter had been the recipient of such contact, but now it feels natural. It's another wall Kara has helped tear down, and one that Cat doesn't regret losing.
"She'll understand" is all Cat says once Kara has relaxed in her arms, letting herself be soothed for now. "Alex will see us together, and we'll show her that this is real." Cat doesn't think it will be quite that easy, but now isn't the time for doubts.
"I hope you're right" Kara says, pulling back slightly with a small smile. "Especially because she just pulled up outside, so our time is up."
"I swear Kara, if we could bottle that ability we could make a fortune. Or at least I'd be able to avoid my mother far more effectively." It's a weak attempt at humor that Cat would normally refuse to be associated with, but right now it's not about her comfort zone.
"You already have a fortune and I don't want or need that much money, and you know I keep track of your mother's schedule, her staff still owes me for that dinner save. We don't need to bottle me." The familiar banter, blunted though it is by their mutual worry, seems to settle Kara. The younger woman leans down for a quick kiss before stepping back from Cat's arms, crossing to the door to open it just before Alex can knock.
"Hey Kara" Alex says as she pulls her sister into a hug, obviously not noticing Cat where she's hanging back. "What did you want to talk to me about?" There's a barely noticeable pause once the hug ends and Alex notices Cat, eyes narrowing the barest amount before flickering around the room to check she hasn't missed anyone else. It's an assessment that Cat recognizes from past interviews with military officials, and if Kara hadn't accidentally let slip that Alex was part of the organization she regularly worked with, it would have been clear from that glance. It's clear that Alex feels relaxed and secure in Kara's apartment, enough that she doesn't do immediate sweeps of her surroundings. But it's also clear that Cat's presence has introduced an edge of wariness to the situation. Hopefully that's not a bad sign, Cat still hopes that things go well for Kara's sake if nothing else.
"Well, there's sort of something I need to tell you? Or you know, we need to tell you, I guess? Because it's kind of a both of us thing. Definitely a both of us thing." Kara starts as she makes her way across the room, hands waving as she pauses near her table, trying to get the point out. And adorable as a rambling Kara is Cat can tell Alex is both confused and afraid that she understands more than she thinks, and decides it's probably best to just get the first confession over with.
"What Kara is trying to say is that the two of us would like to tell you something. And that the something is we're dating." It's blunt and probably the worst way to tell her, but now it's out there and they can move on.
Except Kara has frozen completely halfway between Cat and her sister, the unnatural stillness far more pronounced when coming from someone nearly physically incapable of standing still, and Cat wonders if a little finesse might have been called for. Because Alex is looking between them in shock, mouth dropped open slightly and fingers twitching as if she's barely keeping them from curling into fists. It's probably a better reaction than reaching for one of those weapons Kara had mentioned, but it's still far short of comforting or reassuring.
"Jesus fucking Christ" Alex eventually sighs, and without a word Cat gestures towards the glass of whiskey she'd poured before Alex had shown up, expecting the woman to need it at some point during the conversation. She wishes she could have poured herself a glass as well, but she's trying to limit her drinking in response to stress, at least when Kara is with her. When the stress is watching Kara fight the newest round of alien threats, Cat thinks she can be forgiven a drink or three.
"Alex, I'm sorry we didn't tell you earlier. We didn't tell anyone. It was too new, we had to figure things out for ourselves first." Kara is almost pleading, clearly hating the reaction they're getting as Alex gulps at the drink, and Cat moves to her side without hesitation.
"We only told Carter last night, in fact. You are the second to know." She's tempted to add more, to explain so that Kara doesn't have to, but Alex looks like she needs a moment and Kara is still tense, so Cat lets silence fall. She wants to pull Kara close, hold her until that tension is gone once more, but she doesn't want to push Alex too far.
"How long?" Alex asks when she's finished roughly half of the glass. "Obviously it's not new anymore, but what does that even mean?" It's not what Alex wants to ask, Cat can tell that much clearly, knows that it's her presence keeping the woman from a more honest reaction. She is amused that the first question Alex asks is the same Carter had, and wonders if the two of them might take to each other as well as Carter had to Kara.
"A month or so after I got that promotion" Kara answers, reaching for Cat's hand and squeezing lightly, a grip Cat is very familiar with after the past months of learning to open up to each other. It's a need for comfort, gentled by a fear of causing harm because Kara's emotions are too high for her to fully trust her control. And every time Cat feels this grip, she returns it as tightly as she can, stepping up to be the strong one because Kara needs her to be.
"That was months ago" Alex says slowly, looking between them appraisingly. "You've been seeing each other for months and you didn't tell me? You've never kept something like this from me." There's hurt in Alex's voice, clear enough that even Cat can hear it, but the older woman thinks she can hear another layer beneath it. A layer of accusation that's directed solely at her, matched by a not quite glare at her but never at Kara. Obviously any blame will be landing on Cat's shoulders, but that's fine with her. She can handle it.
"I didn't want to." Kara admits, leaning a little closer to Cat as she speaks. "I wanted to tell you the night it started, wanted to shout it from the sky. But we needed the time to ourselves first." Cat knows the sisters will probably discuss that decision in depth later, the look on Alex's face says 'you still could have told me' for a split second before an impressive mask is back in place. But that will no doubt wait for when she isn't around to make Kara protective and Alex reluctant, for now the explanation seems to stand.
"So now that you're telling people, are you going to tell everyone? I know you've always valued your privacy, Kara." It's a reasonable question that anyone else might have accepted at face value, but Cat fights to keep from rolling her eyes at the pointed and thoroughly unsubtle query behind it.
"If and when Kara and I decide to tell everyone about our relationship, it will be done with the utmost discretion and respect for privacy. I assure you, there is nothing I want less than to push Kara into the public's eye in any way." Cat is proud of herself for keeping her voice steady and calm, avoiding any accusation or attitude. It might not have been soft, she's not quite willing to open up that much yet, but she does want to reassure Alex that she wants the best for Kara.
She can tell Alex hears the words behind her reassurances when her eyes lock on Kara's, widening in surprise and unspoken questions. "Yeah, she knows, Alex" Kara says, fidgeting slightly as she manages to meet that look despite obviously wanting to hide. "Cat figured it out before we started dating."
"And you didn't think that maybe I should know that fact? That maybe, for your safety, you should have told me that The Queen of All Media knew your secret? The dating I can see, but Christ, Kara, you kept that from me?" Cat doesn't know if Alex is angry or just shocked, doesn't know her well enough to tell the difference, but it's clear she isn't taking this well at all. And as much as Cat wants to jump in and defend herself and the situation, this is Kara's sister and she should be the one to respond first.
"I didn't tell you because I didn't think it mattered! Cat wasn't going to expose me, but I knew if I told you then you'd worry and want to go all big sister on her." There's an unspoken 'I trust her' in Kara's voice that Cat can hear clearly, and from the look on Alex's face she can too.
"There's more to the situation than that, you know that Kara! It's my job to monitor the effects of alien life on human society, don't you think someone like Cat Grant knowing specific details might fall under that heading?" Neither sister is looking at Cat now, let alone including her in the conversation, though Kara's hand is still held tightly in her own. And while she knows that this is about more than her relationship with Kara, Cat Grant does not do well with being effectively ignored.
"I highly doubt you want to monitor all of the effects alien life can have on humanity, especially when it comes to your sister, so frankly I don't understand what the big deal is here." Cat can tell when her meaning lands, can feel Kara blush next to her as Alex glares, and can't help the slight smirk she sends in return. "Kara isn't telling me confidential government secrets, I'm not publishing anything she does let slip, so the fact that I know has little bearing on anything outside of our relationship."
"Alex, I wasn't doing it to hide anything from you, I swear. I would have told you sooner, once I figured out what I was feeling. But once I did figure it out we were together, and we needed to figure that out too." This time Kara is pleading, her grip tightening slightly on Cat's hand as she looks at her sister. "I'm sorry you're mad, but I needed the time. We needed the time."
"I'm not mad, Kara. I'm hurt, but I guess I really don't have reason to be. I mean, you're telling me now at least, right?" There's still a hesitation in the words, in how Alex is standing, but it's clear she means what she's saying. "It's just a lot to take in, especially all at once."
"Yes, well, we thought it best to get all of the surprises over with at once. There really shouldn't be anything more for us to overwhelm you with tonight, it's not as if we could add surprise pregnancy to the list." The comment is out before Cat can think about it, before her lingering self-preservation instincts can remind her that it's far too soon to discuss children with Kara, let alone in front of her sister and as some throw-away joke to lighten tension.
"You might not want to joke about that just yet, considering you're dating an alien" Alex says dryly before taking another gulp of her whiskey. "God, I didn't plan on having this talk tonight."
"What talk?" Kara asks sharply as Cat just stares at Alex, trying to wrap her mind around what the woman is insinuating. "Alex, we're both women and Cat is human, why would we need to talk?"
"Kara, you're a genetically advanced alien, did it not occur to you that maybe things work differently for you than they do for the rest of Earth?" Alex's voice is far too calm for the topic, clearly now trying to soothe them. It's not working for Cat, and if Kara wasn't holding onto her hand with a grip just short of painful she'd be pouring her own glass of whiskey. If Alex means what she thinks she does, she can be forgiven the indulgence. She's sure Kara would join her this time, if alcohol actually affected her.
"To clarify before we recreate Myriad out of pure shock, what exactly are you saying? Could one of us be pregnant at this point in time, or is this a hypothetical for the future?" As off-balance as Cat feels, she refuses to let Alex see, hiding behind sarcasm in a familiar and comforting deflection.
"Well, it would take some form of bonding that Kara's biology would register to open up the possibility. And since you two haven't shocked me with the news you got married using a Kryptonian ceremony, you should be good for now. So, mostly hypothetical at this point?" There's a trace of bite in Alex's voice to match Cat, and it should be grating. It should be, but Cat finds it more comforting than the calm explanation had been, somehow finding balance in the pointed barbs. Heaven help her, she just might end up actually liking Alex at this rate.
"Why did you not tell me this?" Kara asks after a long silence, staring at her sister in shock. "Don't you think the fact that a human could get me pregnant might be something to warn me about?!"
"I planned on telling you the first time you got into a serious relationship, you're the one who didn't tell me until months into it! Do you know how awkward it is to talk about this with my little sister? Believe me, I wish I could pass this discussion off to one of the medics." Alex does look uncomfortable, something that Cat completely understands. But if this is a possibility, it's one she needs details about, details that will settle her racing thoughts. Details that will make it possible to build some kind of plan for the future, once she works through what all of it means.
"Well, apparently it's just you and us tonight, and there's no way we're leaving things there. So start talking." It's more of a command than a request, and Cat would feel bad if she didn't feel so unsettled. She knows Alex is trying to help, no matter her lingering feelings about the relationship, and doesn't deserve the attitude Cat is wielding like a shield.
"Look, the fact that you're dating my sister does not mean I'm okay with you treating me like shit." Alex waits with a pointed look until Cat reluctantly nods acceptance of the point, all the apology she's willing to offer. "Now, we don't know specifics and a lot of what we do know is still theoretical, given that Kara is the only female Kryptonian we've been able to study at all, and our focus wasn't exactly on children while we were. But what information we do have suggests that once a specific set of circumstances is met, a switch is basically flipped with certain hormones that somehow makes pregnancy possible. The science is way beyond what we can do or even fully understand, but what it boils down to is it looks like if you two get Kryptonian married then Kara could end up pregnant."
The fact that Alex has slipped into a strictly facts scientist mode, likely to avoid her own discomfort with the subject, doesn't do much to soften the effect her words have. It's far too soon to be considering any of this, Cat has barely been able to admit she's in love with Kara, is nowhere near being able to calmly consider marriage and children. But if this is a possibility, it's one that they need to face now. If this is something that could tear the relationship apart because of mismatched desires for the future, it's better to discuss it before too many steps have been taken, before there's too much history they'll have to get over. If this ends them now, at least it's at the beginning of their relationship, not years into it.
Alex seems to recognize the look on Cat's face, and wordlessly grabs another glass of whiskey for her. "Thank you" Cat says automatically as she tosses it back, mind still racing as she tries to sort out her emotions and thoughts.
"You looked like you needed it. Too bad it doesn't affect Kara, but at least she won't have to deal with a hangover in the morning." Alex is clearly trying to be lighthearted as she teases her sister, and Cat can see that it's working, giving Kara a sense of normalcy as she processes her own thoughts.
"I'll settle for ice cream, it's never let me down before" Kara teases back, only a slight tremor in her voice giving her emotions away.
"Just leave some for TV night, I bought last time. Now, I know that you two probably need to talk, and it'll be easier with me gone, so I'm gonna head home and give you some space. If you have questions then shoot me a text or something, and tomorrow when I go in I'll get all the research we have together for you."
"Does this mean you're okay with Cat and I?" Kara asks in a small voice, looking down at the floor as her hand tightens briefly in Cat's once more.
"I'm okay with whatever makes you happy, Kara. You know that. It was a shock, but obviously she's important to you. And the fact that she didn't head for the door as soon as I mentioned marriage tells me a lot. Between that and knowing you two need to talk, I'll even give her a reprieve on the 'if you hurt my sister' talk." Cat scoffs a little at the teasing tone in Alex's voice, not used to any kind of sisterly banter and not sure how to respond. It feels strangely nice to be included, but it's also new and a little unsettling somehow.
"Thank you, Alex" is all Kara says before she's pulling her sister into a one armed hug, still clinging to Cat's hand as if she's afraid to let go.
"What are sisters for?" Cat hears Alex whisper before she pulls back, looking between the two of them for a moment before heading to the door. "I mean it though, let me know if you two have specific questions tonight."
"We will" Kara says, finally letting go of Cat's hand in favor of wrapping an arm around her waist, closing the distance between them as they watch Alex leave. And Cat lets herself take the moment and the comfort, leaning into Kara and turning into her, feeling Kara wrap both arms around her to hold her close.
"That was a surprise" Cat says eventually, once the warmth of the embrace has managed to calm her emotions if not her racing thoughts. She might not have answers to the questions she knows are coming, but she does know that she doesn't want to lose Kara. "Why did I think telling your sister would ever be simple?"
"We knew it wouldn't be simple, but there's no way we could have called that one." Kara sounds as overwhelmed as Cat feels, and Cat pulls her closer without thought. "I didn't think it was possible, not after leaving Krypton."
"Kara, I know that it is far too soon to make decisions or plans for the future, but I do think we need to talk about this. About what you might want, what we both might want, and see whether those futures match up." The words hurt to say, it already hurts to imagine losing Kara for anything, but Cat knows they need said. She's not the greatest with compromise, isn't even sure what she wants or how it will match Kara's dreams, but if their goals for the future don't match she can't ask Kara to give up what she wants.
"I don't even know what I want" Kara says with a nervous laugh, finally stepping back from Cat's arms to look her in the eyes. "I didn't know it was even a possibility to consider, and as far as marriage, I'm happy enough just being with you. I know I want to be with you, as long as you'll have me." There's honesty in her voice and eyes that makes Cat almost afraid, a depth of feeling that would be overwhelming if Cat didn't feel the same. She is scared to admit that she loves Kara this much, she's only just been able to admit she is in love with her.
"But what if that changes? What if someday I do manage to push you away?" And that's the basis of her fears, the thought that she could love Kara this much and still manage to lose her.
"I have super strength, you can't push me anywhere" Kara jokes, pulling her in for a kiss that Cat doesn't even pretend to resist, needing the comfort to ground her. "But even if you could, you couldn't push me away now. You couldn't make me stop loving you. On Krypton, love like this was rare, and special, something to be treasured and protected. So much of our lives was planned, and structured. We were encouraged to be creative, but only in certain ways. We were encouraged to form bonds, but only with those we were told. This world and its freedoms, there was nothing like it on Krypton. And the love I feel for you? I don't think there was anything like it either."
Cat hadn't expected any of that, hadn't realized just what this relationship meant to Kara. She'd known that the younger woman loved her, but she hadn't known how much that love would mean to her, how serious it was. She'd been subconsciously expecting Kara's relative youth to mean she wasn't quite ready to make any deep commitment, and now she realizes that by doing so she'd seriously underestimated her. It's not a pleasant thought, though it does put a few of her hesitations into a new perspective. One that makes them seem silly, like childhood fears dispelled in the light of day.
"I honestly don't know what to say to that" Cat admits quietly, head tucked into Kara's neck as she thinks.
"That's okay. I didn't mean to push you with this, I just wanted you to know that being with you is something I want. I'm not going to just change my mind about being with you, because I never thought I'd have this. Even as a child on Krypton, I didn't think I would ever find this kind of love." Kara's voice is soft, full of warmth despite the sad memories Cat knows this discussion has to bring up.
"Why didn't you think you would find love?" Cat asks quietly after she thinks for a moment, not quite able to hold the question back.
"I didn't say I didn't think I would find love, I said I didn't think I would find this kind of love" Kara says as if that explains everything, and Cat pulls back from the embrace to stare at her questioningly, not sure how to frame the question.
"I feel like this is turning into a 'lost in translation' situation. What other kinds of love could you expect to have in a serious relationship?" Cat knows that even after years on Earth there are still culture gaps that Kara struggles with, but she hadn't expected love to be one of them.
"It's, I guess it is, a little bit" Kara sighs, pulling Cat towards the couch so they can sit comfortably, close together but facing each other rather than cuddled together. "There were two different marriage ceremonies, and two different kinds of love to go with them. Most marriages were arranged, and the ceremony either created or enhanced an existing feeling. It wasn't romantic love as this world would understand, but it was strong and true. It was a deep respect and fondness, a trust and concern for the other, but it wasn't passion and desire."
"And that's what you thought you'd find?" Cat asks, knowing she's right but wanting to hear Kara say it.
"It's what almost every couple I knew had. It's what my parents had, my grandparents, my friend's parents. It was what most people expected. Love as we know it was rare, I only knew one couple that felt it." Now there's a trace of pain in Kara's voice that Cat wishes she could ease. But she knows that this pain will always be there, perhaps a little faded around the edges, no longer as cutting, but always present. And all she can do is be there, something she plans to do for a long time.
"I take it that love called for the second ceremony?" Cat asks when the silence stretches on without Kara elaborating.
"It did, and it's probably the ceremony that Alex was referring to. Children were arranged as well as marriages, conceived from science rather than love. My cousin was the only Kryptonian child conceived and born naturally in generations, and his parents were the only couple I knew who were married with that ceremony." Now Kara sounds happy once more, eyes distant as she thinks back to what are obviously happy memories. "He was so small, and always quiet and serious. He never cried, just looked at me and everything around us when I held him. Sometimes I regret missing his childhood, watching him grow into the hero he is today."
There's a note in Kara's voice that gives Cat the answer to one of her questions, and surprisingly it doesn't scare her. "You want children, don't you?" she asks softly, knowing that Kara is remembering the weight of her cousin in her arms, imagining the weight of her own children. And it's too soon, too early in the relationship to be considering, but as Cat looks at Kara's smile, suddenly she wants the same. Wants it for Kara, but also for herself, to know that they somehow created something wonderful together.
"I do, Cat. I didn't know I would want it this much, but I do. But if you don't, then that's okay too. I love you, and I don't want this to cause problems for us." Cat knows that Kara means it, that the selfless hero would instantly give up this new dream if Cat asked it of her.
"I want you to be happy" is the answer Cat gives first, leaning slightly closer to Kara to make sure she understands just how much Cat means this. "And I want that, someday, with you. It's too soon now, we aren't there yet. But someday we will be." And oh, how freeing it feels to let go of her fears, of the doubts and reservations that have followed her for so long. They might come back, might pop up to challenge Cat in the future, but here at this moment they have no sway. Looking at Kara as she smiles, at the love in her eyes and every line of her body, everything is peaceful.
And as Cat leans forward to close the distance between them, she thinks that someday might just be sooner than she thinks.