A/N Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo Chicken Cutlet! So here is a one-shot dedicated to every one who either is or has a relative or friend in the Military. My father is, and in fact because of his job we are moving in about four months to an Air Force base in San Antonio, Texas. Along the way I will be adding little facts about random things that come up. Thank you so, so much for clicking and enjoy!
*Btw I'm going to have them living in San Antonio because I know that city very, very well.*
*Tris POV*
I nearly skip out of the hospital with the brown paper bag clutched in my hand. For the past two weeks or so I've had the suspicion that I've been pregnant but I just had to get it confirmed and get a new bottle of prenatal vitamins. When get to my car it takes everything in me not to speed to my house, but if I were to get pulled over it would just take me even longer. Finally I'm pulling into my driveway, careful not to hit the babysitters bicycle in the car port. As soon as I open my door I hear my three year old daughter scream from her play room.
"Mommy!" she shouts barreling into my arms. I lift her up above my head then settle her onto my hip.
"Hey little Princess," I say as I notice Marlene walk out of the playroom with a smile. "Hope she wasn't to bad," I turn to Marlene. Fayla wiggles out of my arms and skips off the living room. I chuckle at how quickly she can go from overly excited to seemingly unimpressed at the drop of a hat.
"No, she was great." Marlene smiles. I pull a fifty dollars out of my purse and hand it to her. "Fifty dollars? I was only here for two hours, with one kid. Are you sure that's not to much?"
"I'm sure, sweetheart. Take it," I shove the bill into her hand and walk her out the door then rejoin Fayla on the couch, watching a re-run of Bubble Guppies.
A couple of hours later I hear Tobias's pickup pull up in front of the house. Slowly a grin begins to overcome my face, Tobias can't seem to come inside fast enough. Eventually the front door is opening and closing and soon Tobias is in the living room. He presses a shaky kiss to the top of mine and Fayla's head. I turn to get a proper kiss but the look on his face stops me. He has a very noticeable frown plus a concerned look in his two-toned eyes.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I ask, getting off the couch. Tobias shakes his head subtly and puts an all to fake smile.
"I'll tell you tonight." he whispers.
"Hi Daddy!" Fayla interrupts hoping off the couch to wrap her little arms around his leg. His smile only expands a little bit when he picks her up.
"Hey honey, how was your day?" he questions.
"Marlene made me cupcakes!" Fayla exclaims. Tobias's eyes widen in a cartoonish surprise.
"Really? Did she make me any?" Fayla laughs.
"No!" Tobias makes a faux sad face which makes our daughter laugh harder. He then drops her back onto the ground and moves to unlace his black boots. "What's for dinner Mommy?" Fayla asks, looking up at me.
"Pizza?" I suggest. I know it's Tobias's favorite, so it's worth a shot.
Tobias goes up to bed right after finishing his dinner, claiming he's had a long day and just needs to sleep. After cleaning up I get Fayla dressed into her pajamas and get her up to her Cinderella themed bedroom.
"Is Daddy mad at me?" she asks once she's gotten under her sky blue blanket. My chest tightens at her question. I sit down on the edge of her canopy bed and gently run my hand through her curly blonde hair.
"He's not mad at you, I'm sure. I think he's just had a long day. Alright?" I try. She nods as I hand her her favorite stuffed animal elephant. "Daddy and I both love you, okay?" I tickle her stomach lightly.
"I love you too." she giggles. I get off her bed and turn off her light before joining Tobias in our room. He's sitting on the bed, dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants without a shirt, looking over a stack of papers. I notice that his BDU's are strewn across the floor instead of hanging up in the closet like it usually is (BDU's are the camouflage uniform you see most often on TV and stuff). I change into a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt then join Tobias on the bed. His eyes shift to mine and in them I can see the desperation he was trying to hide downstairs in front of Fayla.
"Tobias, sweetheart, what's wrong?" I ask, shifting so I'm nearly on his lap. With trembling hands, he picks up the stack of papers he was looking through when I came in. He carefully grabs on of my hands and takes a deep breath.
"I got orders," he says with a quiet voice.
"We're moving again?" I ask. Before his assignment here in San Antonio at Randolph, we lived at Ramstein Air Base in Germany which is where Fayla was born. And before that was Ft. Belvoir in Virginia. We had only recently come to Texas -four months ago to be exact- so I don't know why we'd be moving so soon.
"No," Tobias shakes his head. I though I would see relief in not moving but I still see the same worry.
"Then, what is it?"
"I'm getting sent to Kabul, in Afghanistan." for the first time since Fayla was born, I see tears spike in his blue eyes. Or maybe their mine. I can't tell.
"You're getting deployed?" I ask after minutes of silence. He nods subtly, avoiding my gaze. "For how long?" he takes another deep breath and glances down at the papers.
"Eighteen months." he tells me.
"A year and a half?" I nearly shout but remember Fayla is sleeping only a couple doors down. This time, Tobias doesn't say anything and neither do I. I move next to his side so I can wrap my arms around his waist, my legs tangling with his. "You're not allowed to leave." I mumble into his chest.
"I'm sorry," I hear him say. More tears spill from my eyes divergently for hours, unable to sleep. "I'm leaving in a month. I have leave until then." he says at around four in the morning. My thoughts wander to the doctors appointment I had earlier this afternoon, causing sobs to crawl up my throat. The two words bounce around my mind but I can't find a way to say them. Instead I shake my head. "What's wrong?" he asks after he's noticed my change in behavior. I sit up forcing my eyes to his.
"This morning I went to the clinic," I choke out. Tobias's hands carefully brush away the tears on my face. "And um...I'm pregnant, Tobias." the effect on him is immediate. His arms wrap around my middle pulling me as close as he can until we fall asleep.
When I wake up the next morning I'm still being held by Tobias. I can tell by his uneven breaths that he's awake, and probably has been for a little while. Tobias's hand makes it's way up my shirt, not in a sexual but reassuring way.
"Did last night really happen?" I grumble with my eyes closing again.
"Afraid so," Tobias says into my hair. I sigh and snuggle closer to him. A quiet knock comes from our door, making Tobias and I chuckle. "I think our little rooster is at it again." confirming our thoughts, Fayla pushes the door open peeking her blonde head in.
"You can come in, Fay." I laugh while the little girl jumps on to our bed with a grin. Claiming that Tobais and I's bed is the 'bounciest' bed in the house, she begins to jump up and down asking for breakfast.
"I'm sure I can throw something together." Tobias smiles at her request.
"Candy!" Fayla suggests. I roll my eyes good-naturedly at my sugar craved daughter.
"How about something a little bit healthier?" Fayla's nose wrinkles making me laugh again.
One Month Later
The third-two days pass by way to quickly for my liking. Right now Tobias and I stay in our bed for as long as we possible can before he has to leave. Unfortunately our morning gets cut short, -like every morning in this past month- by me shooting up from the bed and running as fast as I can to our bathroom to throw up everything that was in my stomach previously. As usual, Tobias's hand gently rubs soothing circles on my back until I've finished my heaving. Then he hands me a glass of water.
"Do you have to leave today?" I ask after I finish my glass of water and make my with him back to the room.
"As much as I don't want to," he wraps his muscular arms around me as I put my hands on his chest. "I'm afraid I have to." his forehead leans down to mine, closing his eyes. "But if you think about it, eighteen months really isn't that long." he tries to lighten both of our spirits but it fails. Miserably.
"Nice try." I shake my head. "Are you all packed up?" I ask, changing the subject.
"Yeah," Tobias looks around the room at the black and yellow boxes containing some of his clothes and other various things. With one look at the clock on our nightstand his eyes widen. "I have to leave soon."
"I wish you didn't have to go so soon." I say honestly.
"Me too. In fact I wish I didn't have to leave at all." he pulls away reluctantly double checking to make sure he has everything.
"Same," I sigh. Once he's sure he's got everything packed, he changes into his BDU's and laces up his black leather boots, which makes everything seem all to real. We both load the boxes and sparse bags into his truck as his impending departure looms above us. He does a last round of the house, not forgetting to step into Fayla's room to say goodbye to her. She most likely won't remember in the morning. Finally after everything's completed we both stand silent on the porch wrapped in each other's arms.
"Please don't forget how much I love you." Tobias says to me for the fourth time.
"I promise I won't. And make sure you always find a way to call me alright?" I try and fight off the tears building behind my eyes but it's useless.
"Promise." he assures. He glance down at his watch then back up to me. "As much as I hate to say this, I have to leave now." I nod, changing to wind my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his. He kisses back for a few moments, the beeping of his watch pulls as apart. "I love you," he whispers, his mouth centimeters from mine.
"I love you too." I say back. With one last short peck he makes his way to his truck, me still stuck on the porch. All to soon, his black pickup is starting and beginning it's path down the street. It's impossible to keep my tears from flowing now, knowing that most likely the next time I see him is going to be in over a year. I stay on the porch until the early tendrils of light creep up the street and I know Fayla will be waking up soon. I assume I'll have a few more minutes to compose myself before my daughter comes down the stairs, but am proved wrong when I see her hoping down the last step as I'm walking in. "Morning sweetheart," I say, my voice choking just a little.
"Why are you sad, Mommy?" she asks immediately. I pick her up from the steps and carry her into the kitchen.
"I'm just fine, baby." I lie. "Now, what would you like to eat?"
"Daddy left today," she remembers.
"Yes he did," I admit. "But he'll be home before you know it. I promise."
"I'm going to be this many when he comes back." she affirms holding up five fingers.
"More like this many." I fix, folding down one of her fingers. Fayla was born on August fourth and Tobias is set to return July twentieth, narrowly missing our seventh anniversary which is falling on June sixth. He'll already be missing our sixth anniversary whenever he's five months in. This is going to be a long eighteen months.
Only one month into Tobias's deployment I'm starting to desperately want him back. At night whenever I'm getting to sleep, I have to be on his side of the bed, clutching his pillow close to me so I can still have his scent which is gradually disappearing. And it's not helping that he hasn't been able to call or anything. Fayla now seems to realize just how long he's not going to be here, so that causes a tantrum nearly every night because he's not able to tuck her in. A sudden ring of a phone breaks my train of thought. I jump up from the kitchen table but am slightly disappointed when it's only my Mom.
"Hello?" I say into the handheld.
"Hi, honey. How are are you?" Mom asks.
"As good as I'll ever be. What's up?" I lean my elbows on the kitchen island, twirling my wedding ring around my finger.
"Where's Fayla?"
"She's painting in her play room. Why?"
"Well it's Friday and I know that these past couple weeks have been more than a little hard on you, so your Father and I were thinking Fayla could spend the weekend with us. You know, so you can have a couple days to yourself." she says to me. I almost sigh in relief just at the thought.
"That would be amazing." I announce. "And I'm sure Fayla would love that. What time should I drop her off?"
"Whenever you'd like." Mom replies. "I'll have dinner ready for her." after a few more words she departs. I walk over to Fayla's play room and sit next to her on the little plastic painting table.
"How do you spell family?" she asks in greeting. I spell it out for her then she smiles triumphantly. "Do you wanna see my drawing?" I nod. She turns around a piece of paper with the words 'my family' measly painted on the top. But underneath I only see me and her.
"Where's Daddy?" I inquire.
"He's somewhere else doing what he does." she answers simply.
"What is he doing?" I ask, genuinely confused.
"Well someone told me that he's like a superhero so he's somewhere else fighting the bad guys." she smiles up at me. I grab the painting, leading her to the kitchen.
"You know what, I think that a painting this good needs to have a special place somewhere. Where do you think?" I pick her up, letting her look around.
"There!" she exclaims pointing under the picture on the fridge of Tobias and I in Milan during our honeymoon.
"That is a perfect place." I tell her, using another magnet to stick the paper to the fridge. "Now what would you think of spending a couple of nights at Nana and Papa's house?"
"Nana always makes me cookies." she says. I take that as a yes.
"Well then let's get you packed.
As soon as I unbuckle Fayla from her seat she darts out of the car running to Mom.
"Nana!" she shouts running up the lawn into her arms. I grab her Beauty and The Beast suitcase out from the trunk and meet her on the porch.
"Fayla! Oh you've gotten so big!" Mom says returning the hug.
"Hi Mom," I say giving her a short embrace.
"How've you been, Beatrice?" she asks with real sincerity. I shrug and subtly caste a quick glance to Fayla who's now entranced by my parent's yorkie, Chico. She gives me another hug, then turns back to her granddaughter. "Fayla, would you like to go inside to see Papa? He's in the kitchen." Fayla nods excitedly running inside, the little dog trailing not to far behind.
"It's been really hard." I tell her truthfully, once Fayla is out of earshot.
"I could imagine." Mom nods. "But at least you have one month down."
"Yeah," I chuckle humorlessly. "Just seventeen more to go." I raise my hands in sarcastic excitement. Mom puts a reassuring hand on my arm.
"Well hopefully having a quiet house for a little bit will help." she says. "Oh and hows number two?" Mom found out that I was pregnant when I went to her house for breakfast one morning and refused to have strawberry pancakes -my usual favorite- and she had said 'Not eating my famous strawberry pancakes? you must either hate me or be pregnant'.
"It might. I think I'm just going to invite Christina over for a little while maybe go see a movie or something." I disclose.
"Of course. Have fun," Mom gives me one last hug and then I'm off. When I get into my car I pick up my phone and dial Christina's number. She says she's love to come over as long as I pick her up.
I get to her house within a couple minutes and find her already waiting for me with what I like to call her Tardis bag as it's a lot bigger on the inside. Christina skips down the sidewalk and hops into the passenger side of my car.
"Let's get wasted!" she shouts immediately.
"I'm pregnant!" I exclaim back with the same enthusiasm.
"Chocolate wasted!" I laugh and pull out of her driveway. "You know, I really wish Blue Eyes hadn't knocked you up so we could actually do something fun."
"Need I remind you that your own husband knocked you up as well." I caste her a quick glance.
"Yeah but that was two years ago." she corrects. Christina and her husband Will had a son almost three years ago named Dawson. Despite how she acts around me sometimes, she really is an amazing mother.
"Plus Will would be pissed if I dropped you off all shit-faced." I say. She punches my arm then turns up the radio. Let It Go comes on making her give me the evil eye. "Hey," I say in defense. "I have a three year old daughter."
"Yeah, I can tell." she flips the dials on the radio, settling for an alternative station. "So how long is the little Princess staying at your parents?"
"Until Sunday. I'm going to pick her up later in the afternoon." I say.
"Awesome. Will has Dawson until Monday. Someone's going to their first baseball game." Christina announces.
"I thought that Will would do that the moment he was born." Will is a known baseball fan, he actually almost passed out when he found out that his first born would be a boy.
"He would've if I hadn't threatened to not let my son see a baseball after the thirtieth time he said 'You're doing so good, Christina. You got it, baby.'" Christina laughs. Will was a nervous wreck the day Christina went into labour. He actually did pass out in the delivery room, but woke up a few minutes later.
"Tobias knew that I would cut his balls off if he tried to encourage me. In fact, I think at least once he said 'Oh babe, you could do better.'" I say in a really bad impression of him.
"Sounds like Tobias."
My watch beeps alerting me that it's two in the morning. I try to be asleep before midnight but with my husband on the other side of the world and not next to me, it's nearly impossible. My iPhone rings on my table. I answer it quickly so it won't wake up Fayla.
"Hello?" I whisper.
"Tris?" a familiar voice asks. My hands shake as I throw my book onto the foot of the bed.
"Tobias?" my voice quakes a little more than I'd like.
"Yeah, yeah it's me." he says. "How have you been? How's Fayla?"
"I've been alright. How's Kabul?" I pull my knee's up to my chest feeling extremely elated at the sound of Tobias's voice even if it's just through my phone.
"Hot." he chuckles simply. "And even though I'm gonna get hell for saying this, but it's kinda freaky." he tries to say it quietly so I assume he's around other people. "But at least I'll be back home in seventeen months."
"Roughly five-hundred and ten days to go." I murmur into the speaker. He releases a huff of air and I can just imagine him shaking his head.
"Let's not talk about this anymore." he decides. "How's our newest little person?" I laugh at Tobias's way of saying 'baby'.
"Our 'newest little person' is doing just fine. I have another appointment tomorrow to hear the heartbeat." I'm equal parts excited and saddened because Tobias won't be there.
"That's awesome," Tobias says, sounding a little less than enthusiastic. "If you get a sonogram or two you can send them to me. Through a throughly read letter of course."
"I'll make sure to get a couple extras." I promise. I'm about to add something else but am cut off by Tobias.
"I know this conversation was only about two-seconds but we have to share the phone and Pedrad is desperate to have phone sex with his girlfriend so I need to go." I hear a comedic shout thrown his way followed by a few laughs.
"Well I'm glad we got to have a two-second conversation." I smile. "I love you."
"I love you two." just before he hangs he quickly tells me where to send the letter to then departs. Tonight, I fall asleep much quicker with the sound of Tobias's voice fresh in my mind.
The following morning I'm driving with Fayla towards the clinic. Marlene unfortunately fell ill with the stomach flu and I wasn't able to get another babysitter on such short notice, so she just has to come with me. We're about ten-minutes away from the maternity ward when I hear a tiny click come from the backseat.
"Mommy I unbuckled myself." Fayla announces happily.
"That's great, sweetie but please buckle yourself up again." I assert looking at her through my rearview mirror. She fumbles a little but can't seem to put the pieces together.
"I can get it." she complains. I'm in the middle of the highway so there is no where to pull over, but I can't have her sitting unbuckled while I'm going seventy miles per hour. I reach my hand back, trying not to look off the road, to reach the seat. I can't reach it so I look back in the mirror.
"Put the black piece into the gray one okay?" I tell her. She fumbles a little but still can't find a way to get it. Instead of trying again she starts screaming and crying.
"Mommy! Fix the seat!" she screeches. For a split second I turn around to try to calm her down, which causes me to swerve into another lane. I swivel the wheel left and right trying to correct myself. Cars and trucks honk at me which really isn't helping at all. With one last turn of my wheel my car begins hydroplaning. Fayla's scream continue, soon combining with my own as I do my best to correct the hopeless car.
Suddenly I'm thrown to the passenger side of the car, my head narrowly missing the window. The car comes to a complete stop after only thirty-seconds of turning. Looking out the broken window behind me I see we stopped right before the tree line, unfortunately just out of sight from the road. I notice I don't hear Fayla crying anymore. I snap my head to the left and find her eyes closed, her head flopping to one side.
"Oh my God," I cry crawling to the middle row of seats. Pieces of broken glass cut my hands and arms as I struggle back to Fayla. Miraculously she stayed in her seat despite it being unbuckled. I carefully remove the straps -which caused some pretty painful looking burns on her arms- and lift her to my lap, cradling her against me. Her small blue eyes flutter open and shakily connect with mine.
"Mama?" she questions quietly.
"Yeah baby, I'm right here." As I start to brush her blonde hair away from her face I realize my fingers are sticky with blood. Looking at her seat it appears as if the metal buckle collided with her forehead. Doesn't seem serious but I chose not to mention it.
"My arm hurts." tears fill her eyes.
"I bet it does." I continue caressing her hair because I know it calms me down, so it might help her too. Sirens begin wailing in the distance, coming for us. Without warning Fayla turns sharply throwing up into the isle of the car. Maybe the buckle hit harder than I thought. I do the same thing Tobias does whenever I had morning sickness, rub soothing circle on her back until she collapses against my legs, exhausted. With the thought of morning sickness in my mind, I put my other hand over top of my abdomen praying to God that both of my children are okay.
Eventually the sirens stop right above us and two fireman are crawling up the hood of the car to try and get us out through the now broken sun-roof. As gently as I can I get Fayla into the man's arms and he hoists her up immediately, running up the hill to where I assume the ambulance is. Next, another man reaches his hand down and pulls me up onto the top of my car. An extra woman comes to help me down onto the ground. I take a look at the clump of metal that used to be my car.
"Can you walk, Miss?" a paramedic asks. With the adrenaline weaving it's way from my body, I notice the pain in my leg. I shake my head, unable to form words. He swiftly picks me up and carries me bridal style into a separate ambulance.
"Where's Fayla?" I ask, a sudden drowsiness taking over me.
"They're transporting her to the children's hospital about half an hour away." a medic tells me. "We're taking you to the hospital right next to it." I nod in understanding, before blacking out.
I'm awakened by a white light being shined into my eyes.
"What the hell?" I mutter, shielding my eyes from the light.
"Oh good, you're awake." the doctor says.
"Where's Fayla?" is the first thing I ask. "She is down in the pediatrics ward. Luckily, her arm is only broken in one spot. Plus, no concussion," I sigh in relief that my daughter is okay. Well with the exception of a broken arm of course.
"What about my baby?" I ask next.
"They're doing just fine as well." she says. "And as for you Miss Eaton (I just noticed that I've been writing 'Miss Prior' in stead of Eaton, so if you see Prior anywhere then I'm sorry), you seemed to have escaped with only a fairly minor cut in your leg." she points to my leg which is wrapped in bandages.
"When can we leave?"
"Tomorrow morning. Fayla lost a fair amount of blood from the scrape on her head, so we're going to keep her in to make sure everything is okay with that. And we're going to need to do another ultra sound to double check on the status of your baby."
"Thanks," I murmur, becoming sleepy again. "What's your name?"
"Shauna." she smiles then leaves.
I fall in an out of sleep throughout the rest of the day. It's at about five in the afternoon when a nurse walks into my room with my cell phone. I don't bother to ask when she got it, because as soon as it's handed to me, she leaves. "Hello?" I ask, questioningly.
"Oh my God, Tris. I am so glad you're okay." Tobias says hurriedly on the other end of the line.
"Yeah, yeah I'm totally fine. Just a cut on my leg." I reassure him. "But Fayla broke her arm and from what I hear got a pretty impressive scrape on her forehead."
"Have you seen her?"
"No. I've pent up in my room." I say to him. "How did you find out about the accident?"
"My commander came in and woke me up and had told me that there was a family emergency. A nurse told me the rest." he says. "I'm just really, really glad that you're okay."
"Wait, Tobias, what time is it there?" I look at the clock above the door that reads '9:40'.
"It's only seven." he answers. "We usually get up at five but got to sleep in a little since today is a break of sorts."
"Tobias if it's your break then go back to sleep." I demand making him chuckle.
"I'm not really doing much sleeping so doesn't really matter." my heart sinks at his confession but he says it so flippantly it seems like he doesn't care all that much.
"If we're being honest here, neither am I." I admit.
"Oh I can't wait to be back home." he mumbles.
"I can't wait for you to be back home." I say. "I'm already having separation anxiety. And I haven't had that since I was four and my Mom went to drop me off at school." I joke.
"I miss you too, sweetheart." I can imagine Tobias smiling. A shrill alarm blares on Tobias's end of the phone causing me to jump. "I hate to say this but I have to go now. Time to workout!" he says with the upmost fake excitement.
"Okay. I love you,"
"Love you too." we both hang up. A moment later, the doctor from before walks back in with a clipboard in tow. She doesn't say anything but has a smirk on her face while she gives me some pain and sleep medication.
"Was that your husband?" she asks after I've swallowed both pills. I nod taking a final sip of water. "Why isn't he here?"
"He's in Kabul." I tell her. Shauna's eyes widen.
"Oh my God my boyfriend's in Kabul too! His name is Zeke Pedrad." she responds. I remember Tobias saying something about 'Pedrad wanting to have phone sex with his girlfriend' making me blush.
"Ain't that ironic." I say in a poor attempt to cover up.
"What's wrong?" she gains that 'jealous girlfriend' look.
"Nothing it's just that when I was taking to my husband a little while ago he may have mentioned someone named 'Pedrad' wanting phone sex with his girlfriend." Shauna blushes at my confession casting her graze to the floor tiles. "Yeahhhh."
"Looks like we're going to be good friends." her eyes come back to mine with a smile. "I need to go check on my other patients now but I will be back to discharge you in the morning." she walks out hurriedly. The sleep medicine they gave me starts to kick in, and I take it gratefully.
I'm sitting on the edge of my hospital bed picking at my black nail polish. The performed the ultra-sound again this morning confirming that my baby is still doing just fine. But the cut on my leg can't be walked on for at least a couple weeks so I'm forced to crutches until Fayla and I's follow up appointment. As for Fayla, they put it in a split over night to help reduce the swelling and put the hard cast on this morning. I couldn't be there during the appointment which is just making me even for antsy to see her.
"Alright Miss Eaton," Shauna says, walking in with the two metal crutches in hand. "You are now free to go. I can bring you to Fayla if you'd like." she hands me the crutches to me helping me stand.
"I would love that." I limp down the hall a half step behind Shauna as she helps guide me to the pediatrics ward. I know we're getting close when I hear a child's scream which I can almost immediately identify as Fayla's. "Is she okay?" I ask worriedly wishing I could go faster.
"She's been throwing a tantrum since this morning." Shauna informs me. "She really, really misses you." we turn a corner together and I spot Fayla, her face red, being held by one of the pediatricians in Barbie scrubs. The nurse points over to me and Shauna which makes Fayla's crying cease. She jumps off the chair running towards me with a hot pink cast on her arm.
"Mommy!" she exclaims. Because of the wrap on my leg, I lean against the wall for extra support. Fayla launches herself into my arm which honestly kind of hurts. "Look at my cast Mom! I got it pink!" she unwraps her arms from my neck to show me the cast.
"Does it hurt at all?" I ask. She shakes her head with a proud grin.
"Nope. They gave me this really gross purple medicine which made it not hurt anymore and Cindy let me watch TV." she turns and waves at the nurse who is now walking over to us.
"Yeah you're little girl is very brave." Cindy beams.
"I know," Fayla says. Cindy looks to me with a rather quizzical expression.
"I'm sorry. Her father has a really high self esteem." I apologize with a smile. Cindy waves her hand dismissive gesture.
"That's totally fine. My wife thinks she's the Queen of the world and everyone else is just in the way." she laughs as I put Fayla onto the ground settling for holding her hand.
"Oh, are you Lynn's wife?" I ask, realizing that she looks vaguely familiar.
"Yes I am. How'd you know?"
"Her babysitter talks about you two sometimes." I nod my head to Fayla.
"Marlene? Sounds like her. Her and Lynn are really good friends." Cindy says. "I would love to stay and talk but I do have a couple other patients. And just so you know, the follow up appointment for you two is in exactly two weeks. It shouldn't take long for Fayla's arm to heal up since she's so young." she feels out a business card with all of the appointment details and head back off to work.
June sixth. Five months. It's my sixth year anniversary. And I'm spending it without mu husband. Fayla got her cast off a couple months ago and I've been discharged from my crutches. I have a doctor's appointment today to find out the sex of my baby, and I'll be going to that with Christina. I throw my legs over the side of my empty bed and make my way down stairs. Standing at my kitchen island is Christina, frosting a very lopsided cake. I scream making Christina jump and drop the knife she was holding.
"Dude, don't scare me like that. I'm trying to frost a cake!" Christina says, mad at me.
"You're standing in my kitchen at seven in the morning! I have a reason to scream at you!" I exclaim.
"Chill out, Mommy." I hear Fayla say from the kitchen table. I snap my focus to her and cross my arms.
"What did you say to me?" I smile slightly at my daughter.
"That's what Miss Christina told me to say if you got mad." Fayla tells me sweetly.
"Okay," I sigh. "We'll talk about this later. But for now, what the hell are you doing in my house?"
"First, Mommy language." Christina points an accusing finger at me with a smirk. "Second, it's your anniversary! I made you a cake to celebrate." the cake seems to have been dropped down two flights of stairs then run over by a semi, but that's a minor miracle according to Christina. "I wouldn't eat it because it probably tastes like shit. But you know, it's the though that counts."
"What does 'shit' mean?" Fayla asks, momentarily ignoring her drawing. Christina and I go silent looking at anything but her. "I heard Daddy say it once after he dropped a plate and it landed on his foot." she laughs then turns back to her drawing.
"So," Christina starts. "To answer your first question. I took the emergency key you hid underneath that really ugly flower pot on your front porch. Don't worry, I put it back."
"The flower pot's ugly?" I ask, pretending to be hurt. "I bough it in Del Rio at a really cute outdoor pottery shop." (I forgot the name of the shop I'm referring to, but it's about 7 minutes away from my house and it really is adorable.)
"What's the store's return policy?" Christina tilts her head. I hit her her arm then grab an apple from my fruit basket. "Anyway, what time are we leaving?"
"We need to be there at nine-forty-five but I'm craving pickles right now so we should leave around nine."
"Alright Miss Eaton," Shauna says. "Ready to find out the gender of your baby?"
"Ready as I'll ever be," I respond. Shauna turns on the machine next to the hospital bed and puts the white, metal wand onto my abdomen. She runs small circles around my stomach until I hear the soft heartbeat coming from the speaker. Shauna smiles but stays silent as she continues to look around. She presses a couple of buttons on the screen and two different sonogram pictures print out.
"Okay Tris," Shauna hands me the two pictures. "Looks like your husband is going to have to fend of a ton of boys." a smile fights it's way onto my face. I'm going to have two girls. As much as Tobias denies it, he'd much rather have an entire family of girls than boys.
"Tobias is gonna be ecstatic." Christina says, confirming my thoughts.
"I know." I respond distantly admiring the two pictures.
"Your twenty week appointment is in three weeks at the same time as today." Shauna tells me before ushering Christina and I out. We both walk our of the clinic towards her car because I still haven't been able to talk to Tobias about getting a new one since mine was totaled.
"Next stop is your parents house." Christina says. "Let's see how easily Fayla is going to give up her old toys for her new sister.
I sit upstairs in my room while Fayla naps in hers. My laptop, resting on my legs while I wait for Tobias to answer the FaceTime call. He had sent me a letter a couple of weeks ago saying that his squadron would be at an airport today and would have access to internet so intend of calling like we would do, we decide to FaceTime. I tried to keep Fayla awake as long as possible but she was exhausted from the park we went to earlier today. A three-tone comes from my my computer and Tobias's face is on my screen. He fiddles with his headphones before smiling at me.
"Hey," he smiles brightly at me.
"Hi," I smile. "You look different."
"Yeah," he runs his hand through his now buzzed-cut hair. "I really don't think I like it very much." I look across his face to try and see any noticeable differences. He has a cut on the bottom of his lip and it looks like something nicked his left ear, but other than that he looks exactly the same.
"I don't like." I respond bluntly. He rolls his eyes with a chuckle.
"Thank you for your honesty."
"You married into it." I raise my left hand and wiggle my ring finger.
"That I did." he grins proudly. "Speaking of 'marrying into it', happy anniversary first of all. Second, I sent you your anniversary gift and it should be there within the next few weeks. Apparently overnight shipping doesn't work when you're nearly nine-thousand miles away."
"You got me something from Kubal?" I question excitedly.
"That I did." he repeats. "One of the guys told me that the traditional gift for sixth anniversaries is something iron." I grimace slightly. "It was either iron or something wood, sweetheart. I did the best I could."
"Well I really appreciate it."
"Thank you. And in preparation for next year, since I'll be coming home a month later, would you rather have something wool or a new desk set?" he looks at me quizzically.
"Considering that I'm allergic to wool and we already have a desk set I'm not really sure." I smile. He laughs making my heart beat a little faster.
"I think that this whole 'anniversary tradition' shit is just overrated." he leans back into his chair. "I'd rather just have my way with you in a locked room for the weekend instead of buying a new desk set." his bluntness makes me crack up.
"I think the tradition is very sweet but I wouldn't mind being locked in a room with you for a weekend." I say. Tobias smirks cockily.
"Yeah, yeah I know." the look he gains on his face is nearly identical to the one Fayla had on at the hospital after the nurse called her brave.
"You're so humble, it kind of scares me." I furrow my eyebrows. Tobias laughs again. "Anyway now it's time for your present." I reach into my nightstand drawer and pull out one of the sonogram pictures I got yesterday. "I went to the clinic yesterday and found out the gender of our baby."
"And?" Tobias raises his eyebrows for me to continue.
"And I think Fayla might have a hard time sharing her clothes." I say. Tobias's eyes widen and his mouth drops slightly.
"Are you serious?" he asks, a smile forming on his handsome face.
"Deadly." I reply. "I sent a letter this morning with a sonogram picture and some that I got over these past few months."
"Oh my God that's amazing." Tobias shakes his head as if he's not sure if he's dreaming or not. "Now we need to think of a really unique name."
"Why does it have to be unique?" I ask.
"Are you kidding? Our entire family has unique names." he says.
"I don't really think 'Beatrice' is that unique of a name." I claim.
"Okay babe, tell me. How many 'Tobias'' do you know?" he leans his elbows on the table in front of him.
"Alright let's see. There's Tobias Jesso Jr, Tobias Rosa, Tobias Rene, Tobias S. Buckell, Tobias Tinker, Tobias Wolff-" I count off the names on my fingers.
"Who the hell names their kid 'Tobias Tinker'?" Tobias inquires with an amused expression.
"You're not going to question how I know of so many Tobias' but why some random people names their kid 'Tobias Tinker'?" I giggle. Tobias laughs and shrugs. An instant later I hear a sharp clatter which Tobias must hear also because he turns his head and looks around. Right when he turns back to look at me an explosion tears through my screen. Tobias get's thrown of his seat landing on the ground. For a second he doesn't move but is soon standing up, ripping a gun of a holster from his belt, aiming it forward, and shouting to an unseen force.
"Tobias," I whisper, even though he can't hear me. Another explosion comes then my screen blinks signaling it's been cut off. My hands shake as I furiously click the mousepad waiting for anything but of course nothing does. I throw my laptop onto Tobias's side of the bed and settle for pacing back and forth until I'm positive there's a path now in front of my bed.
What seems to be hours later Fayla stumbles into my room clutching her elephant in her hand. With the other she pushes her bed head out of her face and rubs her eyes.
"Looks like someone woke up a little early." I say while picking up Fayla, forcing a smile onto my face.
"I'm hungry." Fayla mumbles into my shoulder.
"Do you want some doughnuts?" her head pops up and her tired eyes connect with mine.
"Krispy Kreme?" she requests hopefully.
"Why not?" might as well try and distant myself until Tobias calls and tells me he's safe. Oh Lord please let him call me. I dress Fayla out of her pajamas and into the clothes she was wearing earlier then get into the car that my friend Al is letting me borrow since he's on vacation with his brother. The Krispy Kreme is only five minutes away from our house so we're there in no time. By the time we pull up to the store Fayla has already fallen back asleep in her seat. I carefully unbuckle her and walk into the store.
After ordering a dozen doughnuts I drive home and put Fayla on the couch to watch TV while I start on dinner. Once she's gotten her plate and I have mine, I switch the TV channel to NBC to watch the News for tonight. Brian Williams appears on my TV screen giving a brief description on what he's going to be talking about for the segment. I'm not really listening until I hear,
"And the newest developments on the terrorist attack in Kubal's airport in Afghanistan. The latest details coming up." he switches to the first segment about some new eco-friendly car in production but all I can think about is the terrorist attack he was talking about. Time can't seem to go fast enough but soon enough he's back on the screen talking about Kubal.
"Two explosions tore through Kubal's only airport, killing at least seventy-eight people and injuring over two hundred." he says blankly into the camera. My heart drops into my stomach at his words, praying to God that Tobias ins't in one of those groups. Different pictures flash across the screen showing fires and women in hijabs crying on the ground in the arms of others. "The death toll would've been much higher if it weren't for two brave soldiers who went in and out of the airport carrying out children and woman again and again.
Two more pictures comes across the screen, one showing a dark skinned man carrying two small children in each arm out onto the street away from a fire and another one showing my husband with aiding a woman with a bloodied leg out of the way from the explosions. I quickly pause the screen and stare at the soot covered face of Tobias. One side of his face looks pretty badly burned but other than that he seems alright.
I drop my head into my hands and close my eyes all while taking deep breaths, in and out. In and out. Thank you, God.
My little baby kicks at my stomach so lightly it could easily be mistaken for butterfly wings. I rest my hand over where her feet were just before and lean back onto the couch. I don't know what I would've done if Tobias had died in that explosion. Probably would've moved in with my parents because I wouldn't be capable of taking care of myself, much less Fayla or my unnamed daughter. I decide to push that awful though from my mind.
Tobias is alive. He's still coming home.
I'm sitting with Fayla on my bed while we watch Barbie And The Magic Of Pegasus right after picking her up from preschool. (favorite childhood movie tbh). I'm nine months pregnant now and have been confined to bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. Fayla had been nearly a month early so for this child, the doctors are taking extra precaution. Christina has been hanging around a little more lately to help with dinner and cleaning, but she just left to run to the grocery store, promising she'll be back in no less than twenty minutes.
"Can I get a pegasus Mommy?" Fayla asks seriously.
"No I'm sorry. How about a dog?" I suggest instead.
"Really?" she looks up at me excitedly.
"Yeah," I smile, actually getting excited myself. "We really should get a dog."
"Cool," she settles herself back into my arms, focusing again on the movie. Minutes pass and the slight cramps I was feeling yesterday seem to intensify by the moment. I shift on the bed trying to ease them but it doesn't work. I decide to wait until Christina gets back and I can ask her to take me to the hospital, but that plain is foiled when I feel a gush of water run down my legs. Fayla jumps away as I just shocked her.
"Mommy did you just pee yourself?" she grimaces. I'm feeling a strange mix excitement but agony at the same time.
"No." I reply. "Can you grab me that phone?" I pointe to the phone on Tobias' nigh stand. Fayla only giggles.
"You peed yourself." she smiles.
"Please get me the phone." I echo my sternly. She listens this time tossing the black phone to me. I dial Christina's cell phone number and she immediately starts freaking out and says she's almost home. Exactly as another contraction hits and I'm doubling over in pain, Christina runs into the room.
"Alright Fayla, I'm going to drop you off at your grandparents house, okay?" Christina says to a frightened looking Fayla. She nods and grabs her elephant in preparation. "Okay Tris, grab my hand and I'll help you up. I already called the hospital so they're waiting for you." with trembling hands I grab Christina and let her haul me up. "Fatass," I hear her mutter.
"I will fucking stab you in the eye if you say that I again." I threaten.
"Mommy said a bad word!" Fayal shouts pointing accusingly at me.
"Sorry," I say with zero sincerity. Soon enough Christina and I are driving to the hospital after dropping Fayla off with Mom and Dad. I try to breath through the pain of each contraction but ultimately end up hitting the car window and muttering a string of words so vulgar a sailor would blush. When we pull up to the hospital two nurses run up to the car pushing a wheelchair with them. My pride immediately take a blow and rejects the wheelchair but the rest of me doesn't think I could make it all the way to the maternity ward on foot.
"How far apart are you contractions Miss Eaton?" a nurse in bright pink scrubs asks me.
"Ten minutes, I think." I reply curtly. She nods and jots it down onto a clipboard.
"Just breath through it Miss Eaton, you got it." the doctor says.
"I just want Tobias." I cry for the hundredth time.
"I know, I know." the doctor responds patiently. "I can see her head. Just one more push and you're done." gripping Christina's hand hard enough to bruise it, I give one last push and the room is finally filled with the screaming of my second daughter. Instantly after wrapping her in a purple blanket, the doctor lays her on my chest. Her crying ceases once she's situated comfortably in my arms. Already I can tell she favors my looks with the exception of Tobias's dark brunette hair.
"She is literally one of the cutest things I have ever seen." Christina gushes. "Did you and Tobias deiced on a name yet?"
"Yeah it was between a couple but overall Sage Elizabeth won out." I train my eyes on Sage while she does the same to me. Christina discreetly pulls out her phone and snaps a picture probably waiting to post it on any social media site she can.
"Tobias is going to be ecstatic." Christina laughs. One of the nurses takes Sage away to run a couple of tests quickly, promising she'll be returned.
"Pretty funny actually. We have our wedding anniversary in June, my birthday in July, Fayla's in August, and now Sage's in September." I say, notching the coincidence.
"It'll be easier for Tobias to remember." Christina smiles. The same nurse from before comes back and returns Sage to me. She fiddles around some more, attaching identical wristbands to mine and Sage's wrist.
"Okay Miss Eaton, Sage here is exactly nineteen inches long and weighs seven-point-two five pounds which is a little smaller than normal, but she might just take after you and not be of average height." the nurse says. Christina snickers but tries to hide it. "Oh and before I leave, you have a few visitors waiting in the hall. Would you like me to send them in?"
"Yes please," I respond. She grins and opens the door, letting in Fayla, Mom and Dad.
"Mommy!" Fayla shouts running and jumping up to the foot of my bed. I press my free finger to my lips.
"You have to be quiet Fayla. Sage just fell asleep." I disclose.
"Sage?" Fayla asks quizzically. That's a funny name," I laugh and motion of her to come sit next to me. She crawls across the bed and settles herself on my side. "She's tiny," is the first thing Fayla says.
"She's really beautiful, sweetheart." Dad says, kissing my forehead.
"Thanks Daddy," I respond. "I do spawn some beautiful creatures." Mom smacks my arm good-naturedly.
"That sounds rude." she says, although she's smiling. Sage get's passed around between Mom, Dad and Christina. I even let Fayla hold her though she had to stay sitting next to me, to which she replied, "Mommy I'm a big four year old now. I don't help.'. I ruffle her blonde hair and sink back against my pillow.
"You know what guys, I just pushed a baby out of me and I'm super tired. But you guys can come back tomorrow." my parents seem sad to leave their newest granddaughter, but understand. Fayla however, doesn't want to leave and decides on her own that she's going to stay. I'm about to protest against it but she curls up against my side and is soon out like a light. Eh. What's the harm of one night? I fall asleep that night with both Fayla and Sage in my arms, still wishing that Tobias was here.
Today marks the end of the first month having Sage at home. When I brought Fayla home for the first time four years ago, I felt nothing but pure euphoria for the first few months. But this time, only one month in, I'm not exactly feeling it. Not having someone to help me feed Sage at all hours of the night is really beginning to take a toll on my body. I'm fighting myself on getting out of bed in the morning and having to resist the urge to breakdown in tears every few minutes.
Christina can't be at my house twenty/four seven, but she does come every couple days. I know she can tell something's wrong but ever time she asks I just have to shrug because I have no earthly idea either. She's over at my house right now, letting me catch a few blissful hours of rest. The one thing I do consider myself lucky for though is Sage took an immediate dislike for breast milk so the nurses told me I could just as easily use formula which really does help. Especially whenever my Mom or Christina is watching her.
Soon enough, once my train of though has finally found the station I'm falling asleep.
Postpartum depression. That's what the doctor told me. Postpartum depression. Apparently it's quite common in women who just gave birth but can be intensified if the baby was born during a particularly stressful time. Mine being Tobias on the other side of the world.
"It'll go away." the doctor had said. "Just give it some time, and make sure you have enough breaks so you're not constantly surround my young children. Stress makes it worse." I had taken the doctors advice and am now getting ready for a night out with Christina and Myra. My parents offered to watch Sage and Fayla for the night while I 'get a much deserved break' my Mom told me.
"Does this look okay?" I ask Christina, stepping out of the bathroom in the little black dress she had bought today.
"Oh you look more than okay, baby doll." Myra says, while putting on mascara. "In fact you look so good, Tobias would be jealous even though he's already married to you."
"Not to mention your boobs and hips look fabulous." Christina chimes in. "Now put those on." she points to a pair of cherry red fuck-me heels sitting at the foot of the bed.
"I'm a happily married mother of two. No thank you." I reply, touching up my already red lipstick.
"I'm not putting up with any of that bullshit tonight, babe. Put them on." knowing Christina one give up until they're on my feet and I'm walking out the door, I put the on. After we all do our final makeup and outfit touches, we're in Christina's truck on our way to the mystery location.
"Okay so I know it won't be a nightclub, because you have some personal vendetta against strobe lights-" I start, as we drive down the highway.
"It fell on me!" Christina proclaims, referring to one night in collage when a strobe light fell from a ceiling assortment but landed a solid two feet away from her.
"Whatever you say," Myra pipes in from the back, fixing her hair from a little blue compact mirror. Christina scoffs and rolls her eyes. We drive down the road for about twenty more minutes before Christina pulls into the parking lot of an old looking sports bar.
"I'm not drinking a drop, Christina." I say as soon as I step out of the car.
"Oh yes you are Miss Lightweight." Christina says, looping her arm through mine. "You have been sober for a year too long."
"I drank champagne at Bud's retirement ceremony just before Tobias left." I point out.
"Oh my God you drank one whole flute of champagne?! You rebel!" Myra exclaims sarcastically.
"We're getting you wasted tonight." Christina says with a tone of finality while we walk into the bar. I'm instantly flooded with loud music and the smell of alcohol.
"I have to pick up Fayla and Sage tomorrow at two. So nothing too strong," I announce, sitting sandwiched between Myra and Christina at the bar.
"We'll have three vodkas' please." Christina says to the bartender, completely ignoring me. The male bartender returns quickly with the three glasses and castes me a private wink. I swear bile rises in my throat. "Alright ladies," the trio of us raise our glasses. "Cheers to Tris for finally letting us go out!" we clink our glasses and all take a large sip. Myra and Christina both cringe but my eyes widen.
"Ooh, this is good." I say, surprising myself.
"We found Tris' poison." Myra sings rocking back and forth in her barstool. I knock back my glass with two more chugs and release a sigh when I slam my empty glass on the wooden bar.
An hour later I have a good feeling buzz running through my veins and to my toes. I'm giggly and laughing like I haven't in the past few months. Christina, Myra and I throw back our second tequila shot and slam them onto the wood. Christina is about to tell some stupid joke but gets a message on her phone. Her brown eyes clear considerably and she hops off her stool.
"Dawson got the stomach flu." she informs us. "Can you guys take a cab home or something?"
"Run off to your sick offspring. We'll be here until morning." I assure Christina. She gives us quick hugs and runs out to her car. "Looks like it's just you and men Myra." I say to Myra but she seems to be looking away from me.
"Actually it's just you." she jumps of the barstool. "This alcohol is making crazy and I think that guy his hot." she points to a dirty-blond man who seems to be around our age. "Wish me luck." she pats my leg and runs off the man, spilling her drink along the way.
"Friend's ditch ya'?" the bartender asks. He dark brown eyes that stare at me in a such a way that I feel the need to put a sweater on.
"Yeah," I mumble, stirring my Margarita with my cocktail straw.
"Since your friends are so rude, how about a free Johnny Walker Black on the rocks?" he suggests.
"You know what, that couldn't hurt." I reply. He swiftly makes me the drink. Then one more. Then two more. Then soon I feel like if someone were to light a match within three feet of me I would explode in flames. I'm about to chug my third shot I feel a cold hand on my back. I flinch and turn to stare at the old woman, staring kindly at me.
"What are you doing?" I slur, trying to focus on her but my eyes don't seem to listen to me.
"I'm cutting you off, darling. That no-good bartender should've at lest a half an hour ago." she says trying to steady me on my six inch heels. "Drew, we'll talk later." I'm confused for a moment but then realize she's not talking to me.
"There you are!" I hear an exasperated sigh from behind me but in my drunken state I can't picture the face. "I've been looking all over for you." I turn around, with the aid of the woman, and see a familiar face but I can tell who it is.
"You know her?" the woman holding me up asks.
"Yeah, I'm her boyfriend." the man reaches out to grab my hand but I'm far too weak to push him off.
"Tobias?" I ask quietly, not believing he's really in front of me. He hesitates for a moment then nods.
"Yes it's me." he says. I reach my finger up and poke his green eye.
"No it's not. Tobias has blue eyes. Your eyes are green." he dodges my finger with a laugh.
"Come on babe, let's get you home." I try to conjure up an image of Tobias but my mind is far to hazed. His arm goes around my waist which seems foreign to me. It's not until we're outside and almost to his car that I realize this isn't Tobias.
"You're not my husband." I smear, pushing his arm off me.
"The only people that know that are you and me, sweetheart." he sneers in my ear. Her first soft looking eyes are now dark with lust.
"Get the hell off me." I'm still more than a little drunk but I can now realize what trouble I'm in. He's far stronger than I am and manages to have me pinned against the door of his pickup. His lips connect with mine while I try to move my head in any way I can. One of his hands flies up to my throat to keep me in place. His other hand slides of my thigh underneath my skirt while his knee is pushes up against my stomach so I don't move. "Help!" I mange to get out.
"Shut up," he hisses. "If you didn't want this to happen, then you really shouldn't have worn that dress. (disclaimer: I really hate when guys say shit like that so that's why I put it in.)"
"Get him off me!" I shout, alerting the people walking out of the car a few spots down.
"Hey!" the man shouts, sprinting over to us. He yanks my arm almost painfully away from Peter. The other man that was with him looks over my rapidly for any signs of injury, only seeing the bruises left on my thighs, neck and arm.
"Are you alright?" he asks. I shake my head imperceptibly.
"I need my husband." I hum.
"Okay," the man nods rapidly, reaching in his pocket to pull his cellphone out.
"No y-you can't call him. He's on the other side of the fucking world." I stutter. My throat closes with oncoming tears. "Can you call me a cab? I need to get home."
"Of course. Just give me one minute." he dials a number into his phone and walks off to talk to the taxi company. Police sirens pull up to the bar and a single uniformed cop walks out.
"Hey, what's the issue here?" he asks walking up to where Peter is standing, caged by the first guy that helped me and few bartenders.
"This fucking prick was trying to attack that girl over there." one of the guys say.
"She came onto me." Peter declares, with a point. I'm about to respond when I double over puking.
My head pounds as I drive to my parents house to pick up Fayla and Sage. I took aspirin when I got home at around four in the morning and took some again when I woke up at noon. Memories from the previous night came flooding back at full speed when I was getting dressed. The bruises on arm, leg and neck have only darkened and become more defined. I haven't heard from Christina or Myra yet so I'll just let them call me. I pull up into my parents driveway and fix the coat around my neck.
"Mommy's here!" Mom says from the front lawn. Fayla jumps out of her grandmothers lap and runs over to the drivers side of my new-used car. "Beatrice honey, you look awful. Did you get sick?"
"Yeah, I'm not feeling very well." I say to her, which is partly true.
"Do you think it's a cold?" she touches the back of her hand to my forehead.
"No it's probably just allergies." I lie. "Where's Sage?"
"Oh she's napping with your father inside." Mom leads me in the door with Fayla in our wake. "She's upstairs in our bedroom." I step up the stairs and walk into my parents bedroom. I carefully extract Sage from the fortress of pillows surrounding her so she doesn't fall off the bed.
"What's on your neck, sweetheart?" I jump backwards, not knowing that my father was awake. My free hand flies to my neck where my coat has come unzipped, reveling the hand shaped, purple bruise.
"Oh it's nothing." I brush off his concerns and settle Sage in my arms comfortably.
"It doesn't look like nothing." he sits up from the bed. I zip the jacket up all the way.
"Dad, don't worry about it. It's fine." I begin my way down the stairs but he stops me by grabbing my shoulder gently.
"You can tell me anything, darling." he says carefully.
"I just got into a little scuffle at a bar last night. It's nothing, really." I walk down the stairs, meeting my Mom and Fayla in the kitchen. "Alright Fayla are you ready to go home?"
"Yep. Look Mommy, I drawed a flower." she shoves a piece of paper with a neon green flower colored on it.
"Oh wow look at that!" I drop down to her level. "Looks like I have a little Leonardo DaVinci on my hands, don't I?" I doubt she knows who Leonardo DaVinci is, she blushes at the complement.
"Thank you for letting us have them over for a night." Mom says giving me a small side hug since I'm holding Sage in my arms.
"Thanks for watching them." I respond.
"Was having a girls night out, fun?" she asks with a hopeful smile. I hesitate for a bit then nod slightly.
"It was definitely interesting." I say in answer. My Dad bounds down the stairs and stands between Mom and I with a look on his face that resembles one when he found out I was lying about Caleb and I's secret language and what we were saying in it.
"Just interesting?" he smiles knowingly. "Did you tell your Mother about your little 'bar scuffle'?"
"You got in a fight?" Mother asks worriedly.
"Not in front of Fayla." I say through clenched teeth. "Fayla how about you go run to the Den and play with Chico for a little while." Fayla nods excitedly and picks up the poor little dog, carrying him to the Den.
"You got into a fight?!" Mother repeats louder than before.
"It wasn't really a fight," I begin, bouncing Sage to try and make her fall asleep again. "There was an accident and I just so happened to be in the middle of it." I explain.
"We are your parents, Beatrice." Dad says. "You need to tell us the truth."
"Okay long story short, I had drunk way more than I should've and Peter -my ex-boyfriend from high school- had come in and pretended that we were together or something and tried to have sex with me. That's all." Sage tugs on a piece of my hair bringing my attention to her.
"What did I tell you on your twenty-first birthday?" Mom starts pacing back and forth, biting her thumb nail. "'Don't go out alone' I said. 'You could get hurt' I said. Why didn't you listen to me?"
"I did!" I say defensively. "I was with Christina and Myra. You knew that,"
"Then why were you alone?" she questions like I'm lying about the whole thing.
"Dawson got sick so Christina left and Myra went off with some guy." I say. "It's fine, honestly. Now if you don't mind I'm going to go home now. Fayla!" my daughter runs out of the Den and happily grabs my hand. "I'll see you two later."
As of today Tobias has been gone for exactly a year. Six more months. Six more months until Tobias is home for good. I'm unusually happy this morning, dancing around the kitchen while making pancakes with Fayla. An almost seventh month old Sage bounces in her seat to the loud music I'm playing. Fayla and I sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody and I have to admit I feel a strange sense of pride at her knowledge of the song. My laptop rings signaling a FaceTime call. I pause the music and click 'answer' and a tired looking Tobias smiles on the screen.
"Daddy!" Fayla screeches standing up on the steps tool so she can get a better view of her father.
"Hey Fayla," Tobias grins widely. "What are you and Mommy doing in the kitchen?"
"We're makin' pancakes and listing to The Queen." Fayla answers in return.
"Actually to 'Queen' not 'The Queen'." I fix. "What time is it there?"
"It's about five-thirty." I just finished eating dinner with Zeke and Eric." he tells us. While Fayla busies herself telling Tobias all about the cool presents she got for Christmas I unhook a babbling Sage from her seat and bring her over to the computer so she can see what all the fuss is about. Tobias's eyes light up every time he sees her and this time is no different.
"Looks like someone's excited to see their Daddy." I smile. Fayla continues to babel and tries to reach Tobias through the screen. "So, as of today, it's been exactly a year since you left." I tell him, though he probably already knew.
"I've been counting the days." he grins. A different man comes onto the screen and I'm confused at first but soon recognize him as the one who helped Tobias during the airport explosion.
"Oh so this is the hot blonde you're always talking about." the tanned man says with an approving smirk. Tobias punches his arm but laughs. "Are those your daughters too? Not gonna lie you and your wife make pretty cute kids."
"I know." Fayla replies smoothly.
"She's definitely your daughter." he then says making Tobias roll his eyes, but he doesn't deny it. "Oh guess I haven't formally introduced myself. I'm Zeke Pedrad, your husbands' best friend and the more attractive one of the two of us."
"He's almost as humble as you, sweetie." I smile proudly at my husband.
"The keyword here is 'almost'." Tobias says.
"When are you gonna be home Daddy?" Fayla interrupts. "Will you be here for my fifth birthday?"
"I will. I should be home by July twentieth." Tobias promises. Zeke starts to say something but then grins wildly. Tobias nods to him then turns back to the camera. An alarm beeps somewhere making both Tobias and Zeke groan.
"Time for evening hell." Zeke grunts.
"I'll call you back later. I promise." Tobias says. He blows a couple kisses to Fayla and Sage and me then ends the call.
The warm June breeze blows across my face helping a little with the Texas heat. Fayla runs a few feet ahead of me asking to go one every single ride we pass. This year for my seventh anniversary I only wanted to go to the fair that's only in town for this weekend. Tobias had proposed to me at Oktoberfest in Ft. Belvoir during October so carnivals always hold a special place in my heart (even though I'm not German I went to Oktoberfest where I lived and it was so much fun).
"Don't worry Fayla. We'll get to every ride, we have all day." I say to her. Fayla's pace slows until she's walking right next the stroller I'm pushing containing a curious Sage. Mutual friends wave at us and some stop to admit Sage and Fayla and ask when my husband is returning. One and half months. A large smile overcomes my face every time I think about him being home so soon.
Before his deployment last year, if he had told me that he was going to be gone for over a month, it would seem like a decade to me. Now it seems like he'll be home at weeks end. Which compared to eighteen months, it kind of is.
"Mommy! Cotton candy!" Fayla shouts, tugging my hand toward the cotton candy kiosk. "Can I have some?" she begs.
"Of course. A small though," we walk toward the lady selling the treat and I order a small one for Fayla. We're at the edge of the fair now, where the parking lot starts so I'm about to turn us around to look at something else when I see his face. It takes me a moment to make sure he's real.
Tobias.
He leans against a tree still in his BDU's with a smile.
"Daddy!" Fayla screams dropping her cotton candy and running in full sprint to her father. Tobias crouches down to pick her up and twirl her around once. I however remain frozen in my place unable to will my feet to move. Tobias slowly walks toward me with Fayla right next to him. My hands shake with anticipation. Once he's about a foot away I force myself to release my grip on Sages stroller.
"You're seriously here?" I whisper.
"Hell yeah, I am." he whisper back. I chuckle through my tears and pop up on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck. His familiar arms loop around my waist, lifting my slightly off the ground. I pull away a second later and stare in his unwavering dark blue eyes.
"Oh God I love you so much." I don't give him the chance to respond because I'm crushing his lips with mine. We're soon pulled apart by Fayla.
"Ewwww!" we both laugh and look at her, not releasing our hold on each other. Sage babels in her stroller bringing Tobias's attention to her. He turns and squats down to pull her from the seat. A few rebel tears escape his eyes as he sees his almost year old daughter for the first time in person. Usually Sage is extremely hesitant with new people but she seems to know Tobias somehow, gladly letting him hold her.
"Hey Sage," Tobias whispers only to her. "I'm your Daddy and I'm really sorry I couldn't be there when you were born." Fayla hints for me to pick her up so I do. Finally Tobias is home again.
We drove home in Tobias's truck, saying we'll pick up my car later. The entire drive I never once let go of his hand and Fayla never stopped her story about the car accident we were in a few months back. Tobias occasionally turns to look at her every time he does though I smack his arm to make him turn back to the front. For the duration of the drive, Tobias kept mentioning pizza and how much he craved it during his deployment but could never eat it. (my family are Pizza Hut the night my Dad got home from his deployment because he that's what he craved the entire time)
"I cannot even begin to describe how good this tastes." Tobias says starting on his fifth slice of pizza we got from Dominoes.
"Really? I thought you hated because you only almost finished an entire box by yourself. In one sitting." I tease. Tobias kicks my foot underneath the table and quickly finishes his dinner.
"You ate a lot Daddy." Fayla giggles from her seat.
"Yes I did dear Fayla, yes I did." Fayla laughs again and finishes her first piece. I across the kitchen to the clock and clap my hands together.
"Alright Fayla. Time for bed," I put Sage to bed half an hour ago because the carnival seemed to drain her although she never left her stroller except for when she was picked up by Tobias.
"Noo," Fayla whines dropping her head onto the table. "I'm not even tired."
"I think you are, baby." Tobias says, running a hand down her back. "Want me to put you to bed?" she nods and raises her arms to have him lift her up. He does and carries her up the stairs. I clean up the dinner and load our dishes before walking upstairs to mine and Tobias's bedroom and wait for him. He comes in a moment later and castes me a mischievous look. He crosses the room in two large strides and effortlessly picks me up so my legs are wrapped around his waist, my eyes looking down at him.
"I missed you so much." I sigh against his mouth.
"Me too." he says, kissing me back. "This has been the longest year and a half ever." he drops me onto the bed, but I roll us over so he's on his back. I lean down to connect our lips again. Out of nowhere, thoughts of the night at the bar with Peter flash through my mind at full speed.
What the hell is wrong with you? Tobias is literally right in front of you! Stop thinking about that. It wasn't your fault. Stop.
"Tris? Are you okay?" Tobias asks, breaking me from my deliberation. I notice now that somewhere in my thinking I've pulled away from Tobias. I force a smile onto my face and nod. I lean down to kiss him again but am stopped by Tobias' hand on my face. "I've only been home for a few hours and you're already keeping secrets from me?" I sigh and drop my forehead to his.
"It's nothing. Really," drop it please.
"Tris." Tobias says sternly, moving so we're both sitting up. "Tell me. Please." he runs his thumb across my knuckles in a soothing manner. I huff and give in. Not able to look in his eyes, I keep my gaze down at our intertwined hands.
"A little bit after I gave birth to Sage, the doctor told me that I had postpartum depression and that I needed to have a break every once in a while. So Christina, Myra and I went to that one sports bar downtown. And-"
'You actually went there?" Tobias interrupts. "The one where like fifteen people were arrested two years ago?"
"Yes but it wasn't my idea." I reassure. "Anyway, Christina left because Dawson got sick and then Myra left because she saw some guy she wanted to bang so I was left alone. The dumbass bartender kept giving me all these free drinks and shots and shit. Eventually the owner came and cut me off but I was. . . wasted." Tobias shifts uncomfortably on the bed. "Do you remember my boyfriend from High School?"
"Peter?" Tobias questions in an angry whisper.
"Yeah." I blush. "I didn't know he moved here but he was at the bar. He came up to me and the owner, and claimed he was my boyfriend but I was so shit-faced I though he was you. He brought me out to his car and-" Tobias jumps up from the bed and stares at me bitterly.
"If you fucking cheated on me Tris, I swear." he spits.
"I didn't cheat on you." I say as calmly as I can. "I promise." Tobias hesitantly sits back on the bed, a little bit farther. "He brought me out to his car and I realized it wasn't you so I tried to get away." don't cry. Don't cry. "But he pinned me to his car and tried to. . . umm. You know. . . touch me." Tobias' eyes soften considerably.
"Did he?" he grabs my hands again and squeezes them gently.
"Well kind of." I admit. "My thigh, arm, my neck, his hand went up my dress. . .a little." Tobias pulls me towards him, resting my head on his chest. Both of his arms go around me. "You're not mad?" I ask softly.
"Of course not." he kisses the top of my head. "I'm really glad you told me, actually. You'd bail me out of jail if I beat him to death right?" I laugh and move so I'm straddling his lap.
"Of course I would." I give him a short kiss. "But I might not be able to if you kill someone. I'd visit you, though."
"Thank you, babe." he smiles widely. "Now. Where were we?"
FIN
A/N That's a lot longer than I planned it to be. I didn't think I'd get past five-thousand. Now here we are. I really hope you liked it and if y'all want I can make a separate story with one-shots in it and stuff.
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Thank you so much for reading!
Ily and DFTBA!