"You want me to do what?" Corrin said, trying and failing to keep his composure.
"You heard me, I want you to marry Velouria." The giant purple haired woman who Corrin knew as Camilla responded. "I saw how well you two got along and thought you would be perfect together."
Corrin looked at the wolfskin who had retreated into her hood to avoid his gaze. He did admit they did spend a lot of time together that was only because he wanted to bond with his niece, who though magic and other dimensions was now his age, why on earth would Camilla think he wanted to marry her?
"I mean my dear sweet brother of all our siblings you are the only one who isn't married and this way we can be a real family, I could be your mother." Camilla said with a terrifying smile on her face. "After all I wouldn't want you to be alone for the rest of your life and of all the women in Nohr I believe Velouria is the only woman who would be good enough to be your wife."
The thought of this caused Corrin to shiver, as much as he loved Camilla she was always a bit obsessive when it came to him and this was only when she thought of him as a brother he didn't want to know how bad she would be if she thought of him as a son. He looked at Velouria and while she was quite attractive in her own way, it would be far too creepy for him to marry her. However he was scared of saying something wrong and offending her, he wasn't so sure if Camilla's love for him would stop her from hurting him if he made her daughter cry and this wasn't the day he wanted to figure it out. So after few seconds of thinking he came up with what might have been his best excuse yet.
"I have to go to and relieve myself excuse me for a moment." Corrin then made a mad dash for the door to the confusion of the two ladies in front of him, in hopes he could find the one person who could help him.
Prince Xander of Nohr was a man who valued many things. He valued his future kingdom, he valued his wife Charlotte, he valued his son who after much compromise with Charlotte didn't name him after his sword, at least not fully, and he also valued his siblings. However he didn't value any of them loudly knocking at his door at ungodly hours of the night yelling out his name.
"XANDER FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS WAKE UP." Corrin yelled out with enough volume to awaken all of the fallen soldiers in the war.
"What is it Corrin and this better be important little prince." Xander grumbled hoping to deal with his brother soon so he could go back to sleep.
"We have a code AD2342.23."
At this Xander shot right up as he said "Camilla is trying to get you to marry her daughter? I put that in as a joke I never thought we'd ever have to use it."
"Neither did I but this is not a drill we need to act fast, it took all my cunning to get away from her the first time, I'm not sure how long we have."
"Alright stay calm, I'll go wake up Leo and then the three of us can attempt to figure out how to deal with this."
Xander marched across the room and looked at his brothers, he had been doing that for around 20 minutes hoping he could think of something useful. Finally he said "So let's review the facts, our loving sister has approached Corrin and has told him she wants him to marry her daughter on the reasoning that she is only one who she approves of. Any thoughts on that?"
"I think Camilla may have finally gone off the deep end, we should get her professional help." Leo responded taking a sip from his coffee.
"Leo that could take years to work, I only have a few hours at best."
"Besides I don't think there is any one qualified to deal with her." Xander added, "Leo do you know any memory wiping spells which we could use?"
Leo thought for a moment and then said "Yeah but if I make a mistake she might forget how to breath, so that's out."
"Well we need to figure something out I mean Velouria is a nice girl and all but I don't want to marry her, I mean gods I helped change her diapers when she was a baby."
"Lord Corrin would you allow me to speak my mind?" Jakob said while bringing out a fresh pot of coffee.
"Go ahead Jakob."
"Why not speak to lady Velouria about this, from what you said she didn't seem too keen about the entire marriage either. With that said please pardon me for eavesdropping." Jakob said in hopes his lord would be too angry at him for listening in.
"Yeah I wouldn't mind speaking with him on that." An all too familiar female voice said causing the four men to jump back in shock and draw their weapons ready to strike down their foe only to draw them back with embarrassment when they saw Velouria standing by the door."
"Err, oh hello Velouria how are you this fine night?" Xander said trying to recover his dignity "So are you…"
"My mommy isn't with me and I heard all of your plans for how to deal with this." Velouria said answering the obvious questions she knew the men would ask her. "Well can we talk in private Corrin?"
Hearing this Xander got up and said "Well Leo, Jakob let's give these two their privacy, come along now."
Once they were alone the two of them stared at each other in silence each not knowing how to talk to the other without making it more awkward. Finally Corrin broke the silence and said "So do you have anything to say?"
"Well do you want to get married to me or am I not attractive enough for you?" Velouria responded deciding to fling the hot potato back to his court.
"No you're very attractive, I mean very, very attractive, like…"
"Do you need some help getting your foot out of your mouth, I get it." Velouria said crossing her arms "Do you find me strange and annoying?"
"No of course not, you're a wonderful person and you're not weird, I told you before you're unique and I enjoy the time we spend together bonding over uh treasures." While Corrin did admit her taste in treasure was weird, it was interesting and at the very least it was always entertaining. "So what about you what do you think about me?"
"Well you're not unattractive, if that's what you meant and daddy respects you a lot and mommy seems to love you a lot as well." She then began to sniff him, "And you're smell is quite pleasant."
"Err thanks, I think…" Corrin said trying to get back from the girl who was sniffing him "So do you want to marry me or…"
"Before I answer that why do you not want to get married to me?"
Corrin scratched his head and said "Well you're my niece, I used to play with you when you were five years old and I helped to change your diapers. Doesn't that seem a bit weird to you Velouria?"
Velouria thought about it for a moment and said "Well honestly we are technically around the same age and it's not like there haven't been stranger royal weddings. Besides we aren't related by blood are we?"
Corrin blinked and said "Well all of that is true, wait does that mean you do want to get married?"
"I mean you're one of the few boys I've met who actually understand what real treasures are and you don't think I'm weird for collecting them. So it wouldn't be the worst thing if we had to get married." As she said this her gaze lowered toward her feet.
Suddenly the gears began to turn in Corrin's head, was Camilla just doing this because she wanted him to get married to someone she approved of or did he get it backwards, was he the only one who Camilla trusted to be with Velouria? While not a valid enough reason to marry Velouria, Corrin could understand why she did what she did. He did have some chemistry with her and it's not like if they got married they would be unhappy. Maybe they could try being boyfriend and girlfriend first and then see where it went from there, who knows they could end up being married.
"You know what Velouria, the idea of me being with you actually sounds pretty great why don't we-"
Before he could say he wanted to go out with her she cut him off and said with a hint of joy in her voice "You'll marry me, really? Oh wow I have to go tell mommy you agreed, I can't wait." Before Corrin could correct her on what he meant she ran toward the door in joy, flung it open and was greeted to a pile of Xander, Leo and Jakob who fell onto the floor after the door was flung open.
"Lord C-Corrin." Jakob stammered trying to cover up his shame "You have to believe me I tried to stop them, I swear I didn't hear anything about you proposing to Lady Velouria."
"Corrin this isn't what it looks like, tell them Leo." Xander said hoping to recover some dignity befitting the crown prince of Nohr.
Leo panicked for a moment and said "Elise and Camilla are here too, they joined in right after we left the room."
Suddenly Leo felt a sharp pain on the back of his head, he looked and saw his youngest sister Elise giving him a sour look. "Stop being such a tattle tale Leo." She said while pouting. She looked over to Corrin and her expression changed to an excited one "Big brother this is amazing, hehehehe Velouria will look so pretty in a wedding dress I can't wait for the wedding."
Corrin didn't even have time to respond to her before both he and Velouria were grabbed and hugged by Camilla. "This is so wonderful." She said with a mother voice "I'm so happy now were all a real family."
As all of the chaos was exploding around him Corrin could only think of one thing, he had been thinking about it since this entire mess started but he ignored it until now. It was at this moment Corrin knew, he should have sided with Hoshido.
A/N now if you got to this point kudos for getting past the sheer insanity of this story. The idea for this came to me when I was playing Conquest and was about to marry Velouria before I realized her mother was Camilla and how messed up it would be to marry her. Then I realized of all the royals Camilla would actually push the avatar to marry her child. On a side note does anyone else find it fucked up that you can marry your sibling's children and no one ever brings it up? Well anyway I hoped you guys enjoyed the story and leave your critiques in the reviews and peace out.