Closer to the Heart

A One Piece Self-Insert

Chapter 1

I grabbed the rail as the cruise ship rocked one way and the wind blew the other, struggling just to stay on my feet.

"This is a terrible idea!" I shouted, my dad just laughed, throwing his arms to the side, apparently enjoying himself.

"Relax, what's the worst that could happen?"

"Falling off the boat?"

"Psh," he waved dismissively, "It's not that bad. If it was, they would have closed off the top decks." I just stared at him flatly, silently acknowledging the point.

Even with the heavy storm winds and the way the boat shifting even slightly from the waves meant a huge shift on the top-open air decks like we were on, I doubted we were in much real danger. I had to admit, feeling the wind and waves trying to throw me around was fun, me against nature, there was some primal enjoyment there. Still, I worried, it was what I did. The times I wasn't worried about something probably meant I was forgetting something and thus cause for suspicion.

"Still, I'm 6'1" and skinny, I'm fairly sure this is worse for me than it is for you." I nodded towards my dad's notable beer gut, a product of working as a computer programmer for thirty-some years as well as enjoying food and drink a bit more than he probably should. He was handling the boat's shifting a lot better than me, something I was definitely not annoyed by. He merely chuckled.

"That's fair, you want to go down then?" There was a look in his eye, one I recognized, we would go inside if I said, but he was curious if I would push through my own worry and keep going. Neither of us was stupid to play chicken too hard, but it was a challenge.

"We can stay a bit longer." I liked challenges.

"Alright then," He smiled and nodded, turning back to look at the night-black ocean. I relaxed my grip on the rails and straightened.

Then the boat rocked again and I was over the rails.

A calmer man would have covered his head, or even taken a breath as they made the fall from the top of the cruise ship towards the frothing black seas below. I was not a calm man, I worried too much to be called such. Instead, I screamed.

-T-

WATER! IN NOSE! ABORT! EVASIVE MANEUVERS!

I jerked upright, coughing. I was in a small wooden rowboat with two oars in their… what were the mountings called for those? It was hard to think with my stomach so nauseous-oh shit.

I tipped my head over the edge of the boat and threw up what felt like a gallon of saltwater. After a few seconds of hacking, I was fairly sure I'd gotten the most of it. Only now my throat was burning and the only water I could see was the ocean, spanning for as far as I could see. The sky was a crisp clear blue and a few clouds moseyed idly by, the sun shining down from above.

'Where am I?' I couldn't see any land, no landmarks, nothing. 'Three days without water is death by dehydration, three weeks without food is starvation.' Honestly, those three days until dehydration would probably be even shorter without cover and the fact that I just threw up salt air in lungs and I had no navigation skills whatsoever and no way to tell where I was and I was going to die a slow and painful death and I may have already died when I fell off the ship I was dead DEAD DE- STOP.

I slapped myself in the face, wrenching the train of thought off the rails.

I would not lose myself to panic and fear, I needed to think.

'Deep breath in, gather all your worries into your chest, and breathe them all out.' I felt all the tension in my body relax and my heartbeat calmed. 'Identify resources, establish a plan of action, follow it.'

Okay, resources. I was wearing my gray hoodie, a black "I void warranties" t-shirt, blue jeans and black sneakers. A quick check of my pockets found them empty, lovely. Now, what else did I have? I had a wooden rowboat with two oars. How I got the boat, I wasn't sure and I didn't care right now. Was there anything else in the boat?

The boat itself had two planks going across the width of it for seats. Well, I only actually needed one for myself so there was something to work with. A look under the other seat revealed nothing. I felt around underneath my own and found… a note and a fruit? I was reminded of a stall at a farmers' market I visited once, they were selling dragon fruit, which this reminded me of, but it was yellow with black leafy things instead of the pink and green I remembered, curious. Setting it aside for now, I looked at the note, parchment, the script was smooth and flowing, written in black ink.

Greetings human,

My name is far beyond your comprehension, but you would best know me as a Random Omnipotent Being, I myself prefer the title God. As is my right as a higher being, I have claimed ownership of your soul and the ability to do with it as I wish.

I know that you have read these stories before so I will keep this brief.

What I wish is to enter you into a game among my fellow Gods. The rules of the game are very simple, we take a mortal and place them in a different world. It is traditional that the mortal is placed in a world that is familiar to them through fiction. Simply put, the more amusing the changes brought upon the world for their presence, the better their God's standing among their fellows.

There have been some outstanding players before. Reaching heights of chaos that make the old gods… dare I say it? Proud. I admit, I thought the whole sport, not unlike some boorish horse race at first. Mindless beasts scrabbling for a prize they shall see none of, only to grow old and perhaps spawn a few more of its kind to continue the cycle, but it has grown on me.

Something you humans are always good for, entertainment.

Alas, I am rambling, my point is that you are now in your favorite world, setting of the animated series One Piece.

"Okay, so that's wrong," I spoke aloud. Immediately, the text swirled around the page, making me

Pardon?

"One Piece isn't my favorite world, nor is it my favorite fictional series for that matter." Some part of my head was screaming to stop taunting the note.

Then what is your favorite series?

"I don't really have one, my interest shifts depending on my mood." I shrugged, giving the paper a sly smirk. "I'm not complaining though, I probably know One Piece better than I do most other worlds." The other part of me was pissed that it kept telling me what to do and I couldn't make it stop.

That was the part that was winning.

You mean to tell me you are merely being pedantic?

"Pretty much." I set the paper on the other bench where I could see it and picked up what I now suspected was a Devil Fruit, turning it over idly. "You just pulled me into a world of chaos, death, and more cases of lawful stupid than you can shake a shit-covered stick at. So yeah, I'm going to give you snark." Grabbing one black leaf I pulled at it, only serving to rip the piece off with none of the skin. "Not much else I can do anyway." I began picking at the skin directly, getting tiny bits off at a time.

I would ask for some respect for the being that just became your God.

"Let me give you a little spoiler for when I face lightning-dick on Skypiea, humans were given free will and that means we will spit in the face of anyone that tries to take it from us."

You realize I own your soul, correct?

"You realize I can still tell you to go fuck yourself and if you take that away I won't be any entertainment at all?" I made an obscene gesture at the text, chuckling as the note went blank. After a long moment, the note stayed blank. "What? Not used to some mindless beast mouthing off at you? Some god you are." Finally, I managed to get through the skin of the Devil Fruit and from there the skin came off in large pieces. The flesh of the fruit was black with yellow seeds, a reverse of the previous color scheme. I looked back at the note and read the response.

Apologies, I was merely considering my words, something you seem unable of doing yourself.

"I take offense to that." I waved the now peeled fruit at the note. "I can be quite the wordsmith when I want to be." I held the fruit up to my nose and sniffed, nothing. Either the Devil Fruit tasting like shit was overblown or they didn't smell, something to study later. "I just think you're an egotist with a literal god complex. It is my job as a considerate human being to knock you down a few pegs so the rest of humanity doesn't have to deal with that. What Fruit is this by the way?"

I am no longer so sure myself. You see, I was going to give you an electricity paramecia, the Zap-Zap Fruit. As of right now, if you eat that you will just eat a dragon fruit that used to be a Devil Fruit. All of the taste, none of the power I'm afraid, you'll find consuming it to be a rather fruitless endeavor.

I pointedly ignored the (very good) pun and opted to examine the fruit, looking it over for any differences. I couldn't see any but I didn't expect there would be. By my guess, the bastard could make it a grenade and I wouldn't know until it blew.

With that in mind, I set the possible explosive atop the pile of peels. The idea of an electricity fruit was a tempting one. Hell, I was going to school to be an electrical engineer, or at least I had been until I died. That sobering thought in mind, I paid full attention to the note.

Now, considering your attitude towards my initial deal, I will alter the terms in hopes you will find them more suitable.

I nodded, my expression as neutral as I could manage.

Your lack of commentary is both noted and appreciated.

Now, you have two options and only two options. Any attempts to divert from these two paths shall be quite painful and only for you. Understood?

I scowled but nodded.

You may either start your journey in the middle of the Marineford arc, with a logia fruit in hand, or I choose to place you wherever I want. Whether you have a Fruit or not will be entirely dependent on my mood. Any questions?

"Many, but I'll ask just one." I let out a sigh. "If I choose Marineford, will the Fruit be Ace's?"

Perhaps.

"Fuck it, your choice." My last sight before the wave hit my rowboat was the text spelling out one last note.

For spouting free will, you humans are so predictable.

And for the second time in only a few minutes, I fell out of my boat and into the ocean. At least it was a much shorter drop this time.

-T-

"…-epo...-CPR."

Voices?

"Aye-aye, Captain!"

HRK!

My eyes shot open as what felt like an anvil dropped on my chest and I spat out a fountain of seawater. For the second time, I felt like gallons of water had just forced their way out of my lungs. I tried to inhale, to replace that water with oxygen but I couldn't breathe-

"You can go back to steering the ship, Bepo." And the anvil lifted and I could breathe oh thank god. Actually, fuck that dude. He was a dick.

"Okay!"

I wiped water from my eyes with one hand and blinked a few times, squinting at the sun against blue skies. There were ship masts, and above that, a black flag with a vaguely familiar symbol. It was a white grinning face with a circle around it on a black background, some number of protrusions surrounding it. Why did I know that symbol, it was on the tip of my tongue…?

"I have to ask, do you often drown twice in a one day?" Blear eyes followed the voice to a man sitting on a sitting on a crate. Black pants with a spattering white at the bottom, a yellow long-sleeved shirt with black sleeves. His soul patch'd face topped by a white and black hat.

Hello, Trafalgar Law.

"It's generally not-" I coughed and kept coughing for a few seconds. "It's generally not something I make a habit of." I moved to sit up and the man waved off to the side. I leaned back and suddenly there was a crate behind me. "And only when there's a damn good doctor in the house."

"And how did you know one would be around?" Someone in a white jumpsuit and a black hat with white marks on the front and orange hair sticking out wildly around the edges came around from behind me and held out a metal cup filled with water. "Drink slowly, don't want to over-saturate your throat."

"I didn't know, though I imagine the person who left me here did." I took the cup and thanked the man, taking small sips as instructed. "I can't help but notice that this is a pirate ship, going by the jolly roger on your mast up there." I pointed up with my free hand. "Am I a hostage or something? A slave?" He laughed.

"Haha, I don't think so. You don't look the type to have someone willing to ransom you for one, and two: I'm not the type to keep slaves. Although…" He reached back behind his crate and pulled out something that made my eyes bug out.

The Devil Fruit, now unpeeled once more, a yellow dragonfruit with black leaves, the Zap-Zap fruit, held in his hand.

"I appreciate you giving us this as payment. You had a death-grip on it while you were still in the water." He grinned wryly, "Right now, my plan is to drop you off at the next island, whether it is inhabited or not. If you tell me its name, I'll drop you off on an island with people. What do you think?"

There was a moment where I really wanted to take the deal. It was a good one, all things considered. But what that being had said, I needed to take a third option.

"What if I could do you even better?" I fixed the man with the hardest stare I could manage. "Trafalgar D. Water Law."

There was a twitch in the opman's eye, but that was the only reaction I could see. Keeping one eye on me, he stood and motioned for me to get up as well.

"Let's continue this conversation in my cabin." I got up and followed him, stumbling only slightly as I got my sea legs under me. I took another sip from the water cup as I cast around the ship's deck.

And it was a ship, not a submarine like I remembered the Heart Pirates having. My knowledge of sailboats began and ended with a very brief voyage at a summer camp where I tried and failed at piloting a dinghy, so I had no real reference for knowing the type. Rather unsurprisingly, One Piece never did put a huge emphasis on the technicalities of ships.

The ship itself wasn't huge, some hundred feet of deck, more if you went tip-to-tip. There were two main masts with three square sails hanging from each, one sat towards the front and one in the middle. There was a third, smaller mast at the back of the boat had a single square sail and a boom with a triangular sail. In fact, there were a lot of extra triangle sails now that I looked. Only the singular flag at the top of the center mast bore the Heart Pirates' jolly roger.

Law waved me into a cabin directly under the poop deck, or whatever you called the rear deck with the wheel, I'd learn soon enough if my deal worked. The cabin was clean and organized, a bed, a wardrobe, a desk with one plush, cushioned chair and three chairs simpler wooden ones. Leaned against his desk, to the left of the chair, was a lightly ornamented katana, most definitely not the long-bladed nodachi I'd seen him use in canon.

As he stepped in, I noted that Law had to duck a little to get in through the door where I had only just not needed to. As he stood at his full height, it was apparent that while the difference was slight, he was taller than me. As a six foot and change dude, this irked me more than it probably should have.

"So," the surgeon began as he closed the cabin door, "I get the feeling you have quite the story to tell me." There was something vaguely predatory as he walked around the small room to sit behind his desk. "Starting with how you know that name." He gestured one tattooed hand at one of the chairs opposite him.

"Well, if you don't mind my answering your question with a question," I sat down in the chair, noting how his sword was only a few inches from his hand. "what do you know about multiverse theory?" I rested my elbows on the armrests, hands in my lap and fingers interwoven. "The idea of multiple universes and all that jazz?"

Law raised an eyebrow at me, "I am familiar with the basics, with each choice someone makes another universe is created where the other path was taken. That doesn't explain how you know my name…" His eyes narrowed in a way that made me feel like I was under a microscope, "Unless you claim to come from a parallel universe?"

"Yes…" I opened my mouth to respond, then closed it again. After a moment of thought, I took a deep breath and started talking. "I come from a world very different from this one. We have no Devil Fruits, no Red or Grand Line, the world's mysteries have been all but unraveled or lost to time. We only have two avenues for exploration left to us: To leave the planet or delve into worlds of fiction. One of the greatest stories, at least in my opinion, was called One Piece." I felt myself gaining momentum, so I forged onward, willing myself to keep talking even if I knew what I said sounded crazy.

"The world of One Piece was filled with love, adventure, pirates, and Devil Fruits that took away your ability to swim in exchange for great, sometimes nonsensical, power." I laughed despite myself. "Anything from turning your body to rubber, to turning you into a living battery," I waved to the Fruit sitting on the desk between us, "…or the epitome of all surgeons." I gestured at Law.

"As for how I got here, the last thing I remember, I was on a boat with my family. I got knocked off the ship in a storm, when I hit the water-" I snapped my fingers. "I woke up in a dingy little rowboat with a letter and that Fruit." Law was nodding along with what I said, that same neutral expression on his face, apparently unfazed by everything I was saying. "The letter said that I was now a pawn in the game of some dickbag of a being with a literal god-complex who decided it would be fun to throw me in this world to see what kind of waves I would cause." I let out a heavy side and slumped in my chair, running a hand through my hair. "Sorry, still kinda processing all that. The Fruit is supposedly the "Zap-Zap Fruit," a lightning paramecia, by the way. I have no idea if it really is, the being that gave it to me was a massive prick, so he may have lied about it or changed it or whatever." I really wanted it to be a lightning Devil Fruit, I could do the craziest shit with that. What would I build first? A hand-held railgun? Oh, the possibilities...

Law nodded slowly, now with a small frown on his face. "You don't sound like you are lying…"

"But I sound like a madman?" I finished, "I know, I'm also lacking much in the way of proof. I know it's not much, but I will answer any and all questions I can in exchange for passage to a reasonably safe island and that fruit." I smiled as a thought entered my mind. "I can even tell you the details of Dolfamingo's operations in Dressrosa, as well as the identity of his biggest customer as Joker." Law raised an eyebrow at that.

"I wouldn't say you don't have any proof." He began, he held his chin in one hand, elbow on an armrest of his chair. "You know my full name, how many other people know about that name?"

I balked for a moment, surprised at his apparent willingness to at least test my claim. "Baby 5, who has some sort of weapon-morphing Fruit, and…" I screwed my eyes shut as I tried to remember the name, it had been years since read any of Punk Hazard. "Fuck, what was his name…? Big dude, you bribed him with ice cream when you stabbed Corazon and he saw." I snapped my fingers as I tried to remember as if the sharp sound would knock the memory into my head.

"Buffalo was his name." I opened my eyes at the sound of Law's voice. "You know about Corazon?" his voice carried an edge to it, hints at a wound still not fully healed years later.

"Yes, and his relation to Dolfamingo, who killed him for betraying him to the Marines, and depriving him of your Op-Op Fruit," I responded, keeping my tone somber.

"What was Corazon's ability?" Law didn't seem in the mood to go more into it, so I left it at that.

"The Silent-Silent Fruit, or some variant of that name, it allowed him to create zones where no sound could enter or leave, among other things. I'll be honest, my knowledge of specific names and such has degraded over time. It's been a while since I read that part." Law made a sound of acknowledgment, seeming to consider what I had said. "Though, if you need more proof, I guess you coul-"

"Do I succeed?" Law asked abruptly, cutting me off.

"Umm… succeed at what exactly?" I frowned at him.

"Killing Dolfamingo, avenging Corazon."

Oh, yeah, maybe that should have been self-explanatory.

"Last I knew of him, he was in the deepest hole of Impel Down with sea stone chains holding him to the floor. You were one of the two pirates who put him there." I replied quickly. "The other being a pirate from the East Blue by the name Monkey D. Luffy, the main character of the story."

Luffy's name made Law hold up a hand, stopping me from saying anything else as he pulled open a drawer in his desk, pulled out a piece of paper and laid it out on his desk. Even before he turned it towards me, I recognized what it was: Luffy's ฿30,000,000 bounty poster, the rubberman grinning at the camera and Usopp's head in the background.

"Why exactly did keep this in your desk?" Picking up the paper, I squinted at the text underneath the bounty. "He's just an East Blue pirate who's credited for beating up a few Marines right now."

"He has the highest bounty in all of the East Blue, appearing right as the other leading bounties from the East Blue were removed from the wanted lists, along with that 'D.'" I passed him back the paper, which he stowed in the same drawer as before. "That has implications for those that know what to look for."

I watched as Law sat back in his chair, a far-off look in his eyes before he started chuckling to himself. "Heh heh… I really get him? I win?"

I nodded, unsure of what else to say. That seemed to satisfy him, he let out a breath that it seemed he hadn't known he'd been holding. Leaning back in his chair, the surgeon propped his boots up on his desk, a position I'd never found comfortable myself. "What is your name? You know mine, but I don't know yours."

"Umm… Zig, my name is Zig." I shifted in my chair, unsettled by the calculating look in his eye. I felt vaguely like a mouse the scientist was prepping for his next experiment.

"Well, Zig, I think what you've told me is at least worth a ride to the island of your choice, as well as getting this back." Picking up the Devil Fruit from his desk, he tossed it to me.

"Gah!" I yelped, scrambling to get my hands up to catch it. Looking from Law, to the Fruit and back, I frowned. "You are giving up a Devil Fruit because I told you something that was going to happen regardless of my telling you? There has to be a catch."

"So, you are from another universe, and as such have nothing but the clothes on your back, the knowledge in your head and the Fruit in your hand." Law's smile widened a bit and he took his feet off his desk, propping his elbows up on his desk and weaving his tattooed fingers together. "You don't have much in the way of options."

"I'd like you to join my crew."

"Excuse me?" I blinked at him, "I get what you're saying, but I'm not understanding why. I am a nerd who loves stories and to build things, not a pirate. Hell, my body is fucking glass compared to the norm here!"

"You have knowledge that I could use, even if I asked you to record every single detail of this story you read, you would miss things, bits of knowledge that I could use to take down Dolfamingo, then from there, who knows?" he spread his arms wide, "Even if your body isn't currently up to standard, I can fix that. We can make you into a pirate. You said yourself, the world you come from has already been explored, and that sounds to me like you're someone who wants that adventure." This time, Trafalgar Law, Surgeon of Death, really smiled at me. The smile of the D., dangerous, destructive, devilish.

They always said the devil would be tempting.

For a long moment, I thought about rejecting his offer, taking the safe road and trying to find a place where I could make a living off my engineering knowledge and Devil Fruit. It was the smart choice or at least the wise choice. It was less likely to get me killed by some stay cannonball or literally strung up by Dolfamingo, if I lasted that long.

But he was right.

I was tired of living the safe path. The world I knew was so defined, borders drawn on maps, people fighting over grudges a thousand years old, if not older. I wanted something new. If I died, oh well, I'd probably died when I fell off that ship, why not take an entirely different plunge?

"I guess it's a pirate's life for me."