Hearing the childrens laughter hurt her more then anything. Knowing that she was not the one that got to make those kids smile or laugh or teach them all the life lessons her mother taught her. She had missed her opirunity long ago and now she would do anything to take it all back.
Flashback
"The name is Rory!" I said to the feelting boy that was now with a group of his friends. My first day here and no one could remember my name. I heard every guy whispering that my name was Mary and that it looked as if the boy I was just talking to seemed to find a new intrest. I have no idea what that ment. I couldn't wait to just go back to my little town and get away from all these spoiled kids. I was so tired of them all looking at me like I didn't belong or that I was ruining everything. I was just here to get a better education just like them. I was trying to get into Harvard and unlike most of these kids I had to actually use my brain and not mommy and daddy's money. Don't get me wrong my grandparents were part of them, but I knew mom would never relie on them for anything.
"Hey Mary, how about I take you home and I can help you catch up on your work." Tristian walked up to me after school.
"Umm no thanks, I ride the bus and I am like 30mins out of your way. How about you just let me borrow them and I can give them back to you." I said.
"Well the thing is I kind of write short hand, you kind of have to do that when the teacher writes notes for the whole class. Everyone does it. So I would have to help you translate them so you know what's going on. Plus I think your bus just left and I know the next one isn't for at least another hour. So hop in and I promise we will just study, unless you want to do more..." Tristan replied with a grin.
"Great..." I mummbled under my breath. "Fine but you have to supply the coffee since you made me miss the bus. And for the last time it's RORY!" I sort of screamed the last as we where getting in the car.
"Touchy are we Mary?" Tristan chuckled. I gave him a glare that shut him up. "Sorry, Rory."
"Thank you, and for your information I am not touchy, I am just wondering why you keep calling me Mary when I know you heard my name in every class we have together."
"Well it's just something you will have to find out now wont you. You seem like a pretty smart person, I think you can figure it out." Tristian said as he pulled out of the parking lot. End of the first day of the rest of my life.
We finally got to Stars Hollow and I made him stop at Luke's to get lots of coffee. He came walking out with two cups of coffee and I couldn't help but laugh at him.
"What? Did I do something wrong?"
"Umm were is the rest of it?"
"The rest of what?"
"Coffee? Come on now you go to Chilton you have to know that two cups of coffee are not going to hold over a Gilmore girl."
"What do you mean? You need more then one cup of coffee?" Tristian looked puzzled.
"Umm ya?" I replied with a duh kind of expression.
"Well how many would you like?"
"10" I casually replied.
"10?" Tristan said with a wide eyed expression.
"Ya, 6 for me and 4 for my mom but I have to make sure I drink all of them before I get home so she doesn't think I out did her. Oh and how ever many you want." I replied.
"I don't drink coffee after 10am, and I don't think you can handle six cups of coffee in the 5mins its going to take you to get home. Hey were did the two I brought go?" Tristian looked around.
"They are empty."
"You mean to tell me you drank them all in that two mins we where talking?" Trisitan looked like he was in shock and aww at the same time.
"Well ya. Now you owe me four and my mom four, so we are even. But I still have to finish them before we get home cause she will know that I had more then her." I pushed him back inside to fetch the coffee. I saw Luke looking out the window so I was afarid that even though he didn't know Tristian he may put two and two togthere and not give him any coffee. Trisitan walked back out a few mins later with just four cups of coffee, guess Luke caught on. Dang.
"Mom I am home!" I yelled as we walked into the door.
"My baby, don't ever leave me again." She came walking out of the kitchen and wrapped me into a hug that I felt like I couldn't breath.
"Mom I can't breath." I muffled into her shirt.
"I am sorry baby, I don't want you to ever leave me again." Lorelai pulled Rory away from her and studied her. "You had coffee."
"What, no I didn't!" I tried to get out of her grasp.
"Yes you did, I can smell it on you and by the smell of it, it seems like you had 4 cups of Luke's coffee!"
"How did she do that?" Tristian said with shock in his voice, which made mom look up like there was some stranger in her house, well technically there was one.
"Who are you? Rory did you bring home the stray dog again? Why is he holding coffee? Didn't I teach you anything last time you brought home the stray? But wait a minute, I might let you keep this one, he is kind of cute." Mom pushed me away and started walking towords Trisitan who looked like a deer caught in headlights, at least he did the smart thing and hold the two cups of coffee out like it would save him from a beating, which turned out to be the smartest thing he could have ever done.
"Oh Rory you make mommy so proud! You already taught him that the most important rule in our house. Bring mommy coffee. You may keep him!"
"Well thanks mom, but I think I may trade him in for a young new purebread pup. He looks a little straggly."
"Hey I can hear you! Besides just so you know I know all the cool tricks that no one else could ever teach you!" Tristian smirked at Rory who looked away with a slight blush.
"Mom, make him stop!" I went and hid behind my mom.
"Well you heard her. But seriously, who are you and why are you with my daughter. You may have gotten on my good side by bring coffee but that is not going to keep me from getting to know who you are and why you are with my daughter."
"Well Ms. Gilmor..."
"Its Lorelai, don't ever call me Ms. Gilmore ever, that is my mother and well lets say I don't get along with my mother so."
"Sorry, Rory told me that but I didn't believe her. I guess it was my mistake for not taking her word. I am here to help Rory catch up on her school work. I am lending her notes and helping her study."
"Why didn't you just giver her your notes? Rory, I know you don't like studing with anyone, what made you change your mind?"
"Um I do like studying on my own, Trisitan just thought..."
"I just figured I could help her out, I kind of forced her hand into letting me help her, I write all my notes in short hand and I knew she would never be able to figure them out."
"Well why didn't you just ask some one else then?"
"Um I kind of told her that everyone writes short hand, which in a way is true but I just wanted to make sure that she choosed me to study with her." Trisitan admitted shyly, which kind of spiked Rory's intrest only knowing him for a day it didn't seem like Trisitan would know how to be shy.
"Well then I will let you two get to it, I am sure you have a lot of work to do, I know how it was when I went there and I am sure that nothing has changed." Lorelai walked off. "Oh, I will bring dinner around 8 Tristian you gonna stay?"
"Um sure."
"Okay I will get two boxs of pizza then, see you guys in at 8. I am off to Lukes for some pie and a late lunch." Lorelai replied as she was headed out the door.
"Why is she eating a late lunch when she is going to get pizza in 3 hours?"
"Oh you have so much to learn Tristian." I replied with a chuckle.
That was the beginning of such a beautiful friendship. Tristian stuck by my side through thick and thin. When things got unbearable with Paris, or Dean or even Jess. I helped him with Summer and all the other girls that bothered him through high school. You couldn't see one without the other and many people whispered that we were always hooking up with each other but in truth me and Tristain never hooked up once. He tried don't get me wrong but it just never seemed to work. I missed all the signs, how could I be so stupid back then. I guess that's just destiny's ugly head telling me I had my chance for so long and now I must suffer watching him with his beautiful family and me alone like always.
Flashback
"Tristian it is the night before graduation, what are you doing here?" I asked him when I heard him knocking on my window at 3 in the morning. He looked drunk and like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
"Rory, I need you."
"Tris you are drunk go sleep it off in the living room. You know mom doesn't care if she finds you there. It wouldn't be the first time she found you on the couch the next morning after going to bed without you being there." Rory said with a soft chuckle.
"No Rory, I don't want to sleep on the couch, I have wanted this for so long and I can't do this anymore. I love you Rory Gilmore and I want to be everything with you."
"You don't know what you are saying. You are not a boyfriend type, Tristian look who you are talking to, I know you better then you know yourself!" I was starting to get fed up with this talk. Tristian was always hitting on me but come on this is just getting old. Just cause he didn't have a girl in his bed right now didn't mean that he wanted to be with me, he was just lonely and I was tired and irretaed. I haven't finished my speech for tomorrow and to have him burst in here drunk and trying to hit on me was getting old.
"No dammit Rory you are not listening to me..."
"Well duh Tristian I am not going to listen to you when you are drunk sneaking into my room at three in the morning when you know tomorrow is the most important day ever!"
"Shut up Rory!" Tristian all but screamed at me.
"What did you just say to me?" I looked shocked and a little hurt, sure me and Tristian had our fights, what friends didn't? But this was out of line I was tired of his games, it was time for him to grow up and be a man.
"Rory you have to understand I have been holding this in since the first time I meet you I fell in love with you and I was so glad that we have been friends for so long you kept me grounded when all my other so called friends where trying to get me into trouble. If it wasn't for you I would have been sent off to Military School a long time ago and my dad would have been more upset with me then be so proud of me like he is now. I owe that all to you and well Lorelai, you both helped us finally become a family that I wanted. I mean we will never be like your mom and you but that's okay with me, I am a better person because of you. I love you and I never want to lose your friendship but I have to say this. I want you Rory, I want to be the first you are with I want all of you and I want it now." Tristian leaned in and kissed me and that first kiss was full of hunger and need and want but most of all love. Yes me Rory Gilmore was falling for one Tristian Dugrey, and I was loving it but hating it all at the same time. I couldn't do this what would happen if we couldn't be friends Tristian was my rock! That's what made me push him away.
"Tris we can't, it will ruin everything we have for the past three years." I started crying thinking of all that could be lost but at the sametime for all that I wanted with him and I didn't know to listen to my head or my heart. So I did what any young girl with a young teen boy in her bed at three in the morning. I listened to my heart.
That was the beginning of the end. I fell hard and fast and there was a whirl wind of ups and downs between us two. We both went to Harvard and it was exciting and new at first and then the unthinkable happened we got in a huge fight that had us not talking to each other for 6months. It was the hardest time of my life. My worst nightmare was coming true. I was losing him.
Flashback
"You are a jerk and I never want to talk to you again!" I screamed as I slammed the phone down. I had called Tristian to ask him when our date that night was going to be and another girl answered his phone saying Tristian was in the shower. Why was another girl answering his phone and why the hell was he in the shower? He came over and tried to explain himself but I was to upset to listen to him so I slammed the door in his face and ran away. It was the beginning of summer so I ran to Stars Hollow. At first he would call every five minutes at moms house then she dissconnected the phone so he started sending things and when I would send them back he got to coming to my house everyday just sitting on my pourch until my mom came home from work and told him it was time to go. She tried getting me to talk to him but she finally gave up and then so did he. When that point came I knew that it was over and it was all so overwhelming. I did the only thing I could think of and went to Europe with my grandma for the rest of summer. When I came back in time for school to start again I felt like a whole new person. I stopped thinking of him long enough to really enjoy Europe. Coming back at first was hard because my first year I didn't really make any friends since I was always with Tristian but since we were no longer speaking I had to venture out on my own. At first it was hard but it eventually got to the point where I was making friends.
When it was Thanksgiving and I drove home for the holidays I was so tired from all the school work and ready for a nice long weekend with my mom and grandparents. When we went to grandmas house how shocked do you think I was to find Tristian and his family there to help us celebrate this wonderful holiday.
"Rory, hi." Tristian shyly came up to me half way through drinks. I couldn't believe he had the nerve to come up to me.
"Hello Tristian." I said with a curt nod of my head and tried walking away but his hand grabbing my arm stopped my getaway.
"Rory we need to talk one day."
"Well today is not the day Trisitan." I replied and stormed off.
When it was time to return to school I was ready to face the battles of finals before Christmas. It was tough, I didn't think I would make it to the end but finally it was the end of my sophmore year and I was ready to go home for a month.
Christmas Eve
I knew my grandparents had set up a Christmas eve party for everyone and I was ment to go and so was Tristian and his family. I was a little hurt when I saw him walk in with some girl. When he came up to me later that night I finally got the courage to do what I had want to do since we had that fight six months ago. I listened to him, and when he was finished I told him I love him, that I will always love him, and nothing will change that. Even if we where not ment to be together forever I wanted to let him know he would always own a piece of my heart that no one would ever be able to reach. When we returned for the second half of school we got to talking and hanging out like old friends again. I still was a little stand offish but we made it work. I finally saw that he was trying to be my friend and I knew that if I would allow it he would be that man for me again but I just couldn't yet. There was always just that one thread that was holding me back from jumping back into his arms and letting him love me the way I knew he wanted to.
It was going great for about three months then one day I get a knock on my window at three in the morning. I pulled up the blinds to see a very drunk Tristian looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. What was with this boy and showing up completly wasted at three in the morning at my window. I opened it and let him in, knowing then what I know now, I would have never opened that windo.
"Rory..." he barley got out before a sob racked over his entire body. As long as I have know Tristian, I have never seen him cry. What was going on?
"Tris...whats wrong you are scarying me..." I pulled him onto my bed he put his head in my lap and I could feel the tears falling down onto my lap.
"OMG Rory I don't know what I am going to do."
"What's wrong, you can do anything, you have me, I love you I was stupid to let you go without talking to you but you should know I am here for you forever. I will never leave you."
"Rory no you can't. I know once you hear what I am about to tell you, you will never want to talk to me again. You are going to hate me and I wouldn't blame you for that."
"You can't say that, there is nothing you could do that would make me hate you."
"Britin is pregnat." The whole world just came to a stop, I stopped breathing, I couldn't even comprehend what he just said to me. Britin having his baby? My Tristian was no longer mine? What was going on.
"No, no, no, no, no,...this can't be happening. You have to tell me you are just kidding that you don't really mean it that its just a late April fools day joke. You are mine Tristian, we are suppose to graduate and have the big socitey wedding. I know we had our big fight to where we weren't talking for six months but I told you I love you and then we have been getting close again. What did you do?" I was standing and pacing. This couldn't be happening we were destined to be together forever.
"I am so sorry Rory!" Tristian grabbed me and pulled me to him put I shugged out of his hold and pushed him back. Then I did the only thing I could thik of, I slapped him hard.
"GET OUT!" and like that Tristian walked out with tears in his eyes and the weight of the world still on his shoulders. There was nothing I could do this time to help him out. When he walked out I slammed my door, sank to the grown and cried the hardest I have ever cried before. It was like that for the next nine months as a saw Trisitan with Britin and Britin with her stomach getting bigger as she was having a baby. The baby I should 've had once we where done with school. Tristian and I went back to not talking and then when summer was done again I no longer saw him in school. I heard from my grandma that he went to Yale to be closer to Britin and the baby. A little girl they name Isabella, my little girl that should have been Lorelai. My world was no longer bright and sunny. Then one day that all changed when I meet a boy my grandma set me up with, since Tristian I started letting grandma set me up with guys, Logan. We had a fast realtionship. I sort of used him to get all my hurt from Tristian out. I moved in with him the middle of my jounior year since he had just graduated from Yale. We had so much fun, he was always taking me out and exploring parts of the world I would have never been to if it weren't for him. We had the easy life. When it was time for me to graduate from school he did what everyone knew he was going to. He asked me to marry him, and in that moment Tristian's face popped into my head and I didn't know what to do. So I did the one thing I was good at, I ran.
I was sitting in Stars Hollow just getting a job offer at the NY times when Logan banged on my door.
"Rory you have to answer me. You can't just run out on me. I gave you a week to think about it."
"I am so sorry Logan, I can't do it. I love you, but not as much as I love another." He walked away like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Everyone says I changed Logan for the better but he also changed me, and I would forever be greatful for that but I could not let him ruin his life by marrying me, I was in love with another and would always be.
3 years later
I was home. I had been away from Stars Hollow it was kind of a shock to my system. I haven't been home in three years, New York was wonderful and everything I ever imagened but then grandpa had another heart attack and passed away. I had to go back for my family. I knew everyone would be there, but to see him again. 5 years and two babies later and he still looked just as handsome as the last time I talked to him.
"Tristian" I all but whispered.
"Hello Rory. I am so sorry for you lost, I know how much your grandpa ment to you. He was such a wonderful man. He taught me alot and I respected him more then my own father. I just wanted to come over and offer you my condolances, I know it's been such a long time but I figured I owed it to your family after everything they have done for me." Tristian said.
"Ooh Tristian" I wrapped my arms around him and for the first time since I found out grandpa passed away I cried. The smell of him and the feel of his arms around me made all the wonderful memories come flooding back and it hurt to know that he was here with his family and I was alone, like always. I tried to find someone in New York, even ran into Jess but it just never worked out. I just couldn't ever love any of them as I loved this man here in my arms.
"Rory you know I am always here for you." Tristian pulled her at arms lank to get her to look at him. It had been so long since he had last spoken to her. He came to every socitey gathering hoping to spot her even just for a fleeting moment. Then he heard she got a job at the NY Times and he couldn't have been happier for her, he always knew she would do great at whatever she did. He had read everything she did and even collected every artical and kept it in a box. No matter how long they were seperated he knew she was always going to be the one that got away.
"Tris...I don't know what to do. My grandpa was my whole world. I am so lost without him, he cannot be gone. This isn't fair." I fell to my knees as a held on tightly to the only one that would ever understand me. I couldn't do this alone. I looked up and he slowly brushed a tear from my face and gave me his one of a kind smile that I had missed for so long. Then the unthinkable happened...
"Tristian hunny Izzy is getting fussy, I am going to take her home. You coming with me or are you going to stay?" Britin's voice broke through our own little world and at that moment I could see it in his eyes, I had lost him forever. He was no longer mine to hold onto anymore, no longer the one I could turn to. I got up wipped my face, smiled at Britin and walked away once again. When I walked outside I heard two small voices giggling and it broke my heart cause I knew that I would never be the one to make those kids laugh, for they were not my children to make happy. They were his and hers I thought with a dispare in my mind. I was no longer the one for him, he had his perfect family and I didn't fit any where in it.