Title: Not Quite the Titanic

Summary: Hermione goes on a cruise with her Muggle friend. She never would have guessed who their roommate was. Neither she would have guessed the consequences. D/Hr

Disclaimer: I'm only doing one disclaimer for this entire fic so listen up. These characters and all that good stuff belongs to JKR, her publishers, yadda yadda. Otherwise.. I'd have killed off a lot of the "goodies" by now. =) Only thing I own is Kevin and whoever else I make up in the future.

A/N: My first ever fanfic. This is mostly a creative outlet for me. I feel like I'm much too horrible of a writer and much too inexperienced to be even thinking of writing a HP fanfic. But, I guess we all have to start somewhere, right? It took me a while to settle on this idea, and even longer to sort out the details for this chapter. I don't have a beta. If you read this and feel like it's dire for me to have one, I'll get one. Anyways, my goal for this fic: continue and finish it at a good, steady pace and get one review!

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Chapter 1

Pop!

She apparated as silently as she could into a secluded telephone booth by the bustling main floor of the Liverpool airport. Hermione Granger quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Fortunately, everyone else there was preoccupied with either grumpy children or attempting to tow around several pieces of luggage without tripping or becoming a health hazard to someone else. She silently thanked the gods (or perhaps a previous wizard/witch?) for the invention of the Reduction charm. Hermione only carried a small purse and dragged a tiny black suitcase, meant to keep her from sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the Muggles. Everything else was safely tucked away in her coat pocket.

Hermione walked out the airport exit and was met with a gust of wind and blinding sunshine. She tried to scan around the car-filled road in front of the airport while getting a hold on her flying hair but managed to do neither.

"Hermione! You made it!"

Hermione managed to see a flash of a bright, tropically colored blur running towards her through her bushy curls before she was enveloped in a tight hug.

She laughed lightly. "Nice to see you too, Kev."

"How was your flight 'mione? I know you don't like airplanes much," Kevin questioned, while he looked around for her other suitcases.

Hermione realized what Kevin was looking for and hurriedly said, "Oh, Kevin, I got my suitcases sent straight to the ship. The flight was alright, I managed to nap a bit." She'd gotten better at lying to her Muggle friends lately. It was, unfortunately, necessary.

"Hum.. I didn't know you could do that. That would have saved me a bit of trouble. Oh well, my stuff's on that trolley over there. Let's get going then. We have to set sail at 4," Kevin said, as he turned toward his abandoned trolley and prepared to find a cab. Hermione hurried to catch up to his long strides. As they waited for a cab to stop, Hermione glanced around. She looked at her tall, cheerful friend in his ridiculous tourist getup and could not help but feel optimistic about the vacation to come. Well, actually, who wouldn't feel good about a two-week cruise around the Mediterranean? Heaven knew she needed a break from her life.

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Approximately 10 minutes later, Hermione and Kevin were still crammed into the cab, zipping away quite quickly and dangerously to the Liverpool port. Hermione was shooting odd looks, in between gazing out the window, at a beaming, whistling Kevin, who was staring at her. After five more minutes of continued whistling and mischievous smiles from Kevin, she sighed and gave up.

"What have you done? You must be up to something, you're smiling like a Cheshire cat. It's creeping me out. So spill your devious plans, you little imp," Hermione demanded.

Kevin feigned a look of innocence. "Who, me? I haven't done a thing."

Hermione snorted. "Don't play your word games with me, Kev. You said 'haven't'. That doesn't mean you aren't planning to."

Kevin sighed, then said "Honestly, 'mione, you take the fun out of everything. I was just imagining your expression after you meet our roommate."

"Why would that be so amusing? He's just some business man you met in America, right?"

"True... but did I mention EVERY woman at our convention fell head over heels for him? He's rich, successful, gorgeous, smart, gorgeous, witty, and did I mention gorgeous? I'd just like to see my sensible, strict, know-it- all Hermione go gaga over someone for once. Aaah.. the look on your face when you meet him will be priceless, I guarantee it," Kevin said with a fake dreamy look. "I plan to capture it on film." He even waved his camera around for emphasis.

"You know what you just said is making me question some things about you, right? And besides, you failed to incorporate one thing into your little daydream. I'm SENSIBLE, remember? I'm not that type of girl. So snap out of it. Besides, it wouldn't matter anyways, seeing as how you're already gaga for him enough for the two of us." Hermione said with a laugh. She wished she had a tape recorder. Oh, how she longed to give Kevin's girlfriend a recording of Kevin calling another man gorgeous three times in one sentence. That'd be highly amusing. (A/N: let's just say Kevin's girlfriend is working so she couldn't come, yes?)

"Humph. Tease me all you want now, but you'll see." Kevin stated.

Hermione brushed him off. "Sure, sure." She then turned her attention to the landscapes they were passing. Try as she might, she couldn't focus on the scenery. Bugger, she thought. Kevin attempting to play matchmaker was just another reminder of the miserable thing she called her life. It's your own damn fault anyways, a voice reminded her. If only you hadn't... 'Oh shut it you.' Hermione thought in response to well, herself. Hermione.. Hermione heard the voice again.

"Oh shut up already! I don't want to hear anymore from you," she snapped.

"Jeez, 'mione. I'm sorry. I was just trying to get you up. We're at the port but, uh, you have to get out of the cab first," Kevin said timidly.

Hermione shook herself awake and gazed bleary-eyed around her. They had indeed stopped at the port in front of a vast, white boat with a single blue stripe. It was magnificent. Just then, she noticed she was still sitting in the cab. Kevin was still waving his hand trying to get her attention and the cab driver had turned around in his seat and was sending her a death glare for taking so long.

"Oops, sorry," Hermione said sheepishly, trying to get out of the cab.

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"Ah.. finally. Bloody hell, they sure put enough floors into this place," exclaimed Kevin as he and Hermione finally reached the floor where they were to stay. They had been lucky enough to get a suite with a balcony and everything. Since Kevin had a friend who also wanted to go on a cruise, they roomed together and cut down the cost. They had decided to walk the stairs to their room, allowing them to get a glimpse of each floor on the way up. They of course, hadn't realized that their room was 10 floors up.

"Well, stop just standing there, Kev. Let's go see our room!" Hermione said, as she tried to prod Kevin into moving.

"One.....second... Hermione. Too...many...stairs," gasped Kevin.

"Honestly, you big drama queen." Hermione said. Suddenly, her face split into an evil grin. "I know how to get you to move," she said, as she inched towards Kevin. "I'm going to tick..." She was cut off by Kevin's mad sprint towards their room. Hermione laughed loudly as she chased him, arms outstretched and fingers wriggling. She had finally cornered him right by their room when she heard a familiar voice in the background. She was about to turn around and see who it was when Kevin cut her off.

"Oh look, it's 4 o'clock. Guess we're moving then, eh?" he said cheerfully. Just then the boat hit some waves and Hermione felt slightly nauseous. The ship bobbed slightly again and she found herself thinking, since when did standing up require looking up at the ceiling??

She was shaken out of her reverie by the feeling of two strong arms around her waist.

"Fancy meeting you here, Granger," came a familiar drawl from behind her.

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A/N: Love it, hate it? Let me know. I prefer constructive criticism. I'm trying so hard not to fall into the traditional D/Hr clichés, but sometimes, it just can't be avoided. If anyone's OOC, please, tell me! I hate OOC characters and I'm afraid I may have done that in this case. Kevin is not unrealistic! Do not tell me so because he is based on my friend Mikey. He always has a camera around to get the worst shots of people, he and I always have tickling wars, he's cheerful and upbeat constantly, he's dramatic, and people question his sexuality. (they're wrong to, of course)

One thing I ask of anyone who reads, besides reviewing of course, is to give me ideas for what to write next! I have all the cities planned out and I have an ending worked out. I just need things to write about while they're on the ship and when they're in the cities.

I'll love you forever if you push that purple/blue button.