Something a little lighter (mostly) that popped into my head. Hope to finish by Monday xx
Set post ep 10. Red was gone for a few months but is now back and they are working again on the Blacklist. It won't surprise anyone who's read my other stories that in this Tom is out of Liz's life. His true involvement with Gina Zanetakos has been discovered and he's been arrested and charged for the crimes he's been involved in.
Same Old Saturday Night
It had been humiliating to discover the truth about Tom. To realise the home you'd built and the life you'd led had all been a lie. She tried not to dwell on it since it made her sick to the stomach, while her cheeks burned with the shame of how easily she'd been taken in, convinced of his affection.
It didn't help that the one and only time she'd seen him, being taken from holding to interrogation; he'd hurled abuse at her. Shouted for all to hear how easy it had been, how gullible she was and then other more personal things.
"Did she tell you how easily she fell for me? How desperate she was not to be alone? Did you Liz? Did you tell them all about me? Did you tell them what it was like having sex with a stranger, sleeping with the enemy? Did you tell them how I fucked you? All those years and still no orgasm, talk about leaving a man feeling inadequate." He spits out while she just stands there and takes it.
It was Red who took her elbow, leading her away from Tom's anger and insults. He took her to her office and closed the door but the damage was done. She knew it, he knew it.
It wouldn't be possible for any of them to unhear what Tom thought about his wife. For her it was like hearing aloud every insecurity she had; about her body, about her abilities, both the intimate ones and professional.
She sat in her office with her head down, thinking she'd never be able to face anyone again. She couldn't imagine looking Ressler in the eye when he'd heard how unfulfilled Tom had been by her abilities in the bedroom. But when she looked up and met Red's gaze she saw only gentle warmth, no judgement, no teasing look. He made it possible to breath, to stand and to move on.
Yet she heard those words like an echo every day. They have begun to chip away at her confidence, making her second guess herself, making her doubt peoples intentions. Red continued to be at her side but she wouldn't rely on him. She feared that much of what Tom said had been true. She wanted to prove her independence, prove that she wasn't needy. She'd get through this and she wouldn't lean on anyone in the process.
But Raymond Reddington would never be so easily dissuaded, not when it comes to Elizabeth Keen. And though they may only be small, almost meaningless gestures he continues to care for her.
He orders take out when they work late, not some greasy fast food but something flavourful and nourishing that will help her stay strong.
He helps her find the solution when she gets lost in a case, making it seem like she did it alone, his expression innocent when he meets her gaze.
But most of all he interrupts her dark thoughts when he sees them descend. He knows how deeply Tom's betrayal and insults have affected her but he won't let them defeat her.
She moves house, no longer able to sleep in the marital bed, no longer able to stand the ghost of Tom's presence that silently mocks her while she goes about her life.
Her new home is more modest, an apartment instead of a house but it's hers and it holds no memories so for that she's grateful. Red is there the day she moves in, he doesn't help her with the boxes, but while she stands in the middle of her possessions, her thoughts disordered and chaotic, he orchestrates the movers, and effortlessly gets the job done.
She thanks him when he leaves, but he doesn't acknowledge her words, mindful that any confirmation from him while remind her of the help she's accepted. It's a small slip but he means to build upon it. He wants her to trust him again and he smiles at the tiny step she's taken.
And for some time they go on like this. Lizzie determined to make it alone and Red determined to be with her every step of the way. Months pass, cases are solved and life starts to find a new routine.
They spend a considerable amount of their time together. It seems natural to both of them. In fact she's only slightly suspicious when he starts showing up at her apartment. But then she's amused; thinking there's something too big about his personality for her modest home.
Then one Saturday they are out on a case, the cold winter air of the capital chilling her to the bone. She was already feeling under the weather, her body exhausted fighting whatever virus that was beginning to take hold, so by the time they are ready to move in she's weary, pale skin and blue lips giving her away.
"Lizzie, do you feel well?" He asks quietly, making sure no one else hears.
"I'm fine" she responds brushing aside his questions like she brushes aside every concern he voices.
She braces herself, ready for the exertion ahead but as she stands from her seat she's feels dizzy, stilling in an attempt to mask it.
Red sees it, immediately stepping in to support her, "exactly how sick are you?" He asks touching her head and feeling the slight fever that she'd been ignoring.
She steps back, shooting him a warning glance, "I'm fine" she says.
"We are leaving" he says his tone confident and sure.
"We are not leaving, I have a job to do" she barks back.
"I will not allow you to wilfully put yourself in danger" he says evenly.
She's almost speechless, "allow me, you will not allow me" she finally gets out.
But before she can express herself any more he's walked off. She stands there stunned before indignation gives her some much needed strength and she moves to follow him.
By the times she interrupts his conversation with Cooper the damage is done.
"Take the weekend Keen." He says in his commanding and dismissive tone.
"Sir" she questions and protests.
"I won't have you endanger yourself or this operation" he says walking off.
She closes her eyes, livid at Red for his unwelcome assistance.
"I'm fine" she finally gets out. The short phrase filled with venom.
"Lizzie, you are shaking. I'm sure some of that is as a result of the anger you have directed at me but we both know what I did was for the best". He says tilting his head and examining her further.
She just stands there, the anger flowing away, the exhaustion again taking hold. Finally she lifts her hands, an acknowledgement of her defeat and turns and walks towards the car.
They don't speak as Dembe drives them home. He watches her as she rubs her brow, trying to soothe the mounting head ache. She ignores him, instead relaxing as the heat in the car begins to warm her chilled body.
She doesn't say anything when he follows her out of the car and up to her apartment. And she doesn't protest when he leaves her on the sofa and goes to her kitchen; not even when she hears him open the cupboards and fridge. Even if she had the energy, and she doesn't, she knows any argument would be pointless.
He returns carrying a glass of water and some pain pills. It's just what she needs so she takes them at once, holding the water in slightly shaky hands, sipping it gratefully. He walks back to the kitchen and returns a moment later with tea, placing it on the table beside her.
"Do you have everything you need?" He asks.
"Yes. Red... Thank you" she says.
He smiles then moves to leave. She knows it's rude but she hasn't the energy to get up so she just watches him as he wordlessly exits.
She closes her eyes then, gently rocking her body while she finally acknowledges just how badly she feels. Then she lifts the tea, cupping it in her hands and letting it warm her further inside and out.