HELLO...I'm on ao3 more often but I thought I'd drop off my overwatch fics here and keep this account alive. Anyways, the Junker boys are my husbands and I love them.
This can or can't be read as shippy, either way they're bein their trash selves. This was inspired by one of Junkrat's in-game lines.
Through the bustling city located outside of Hanamura, the notorious Junker duo traveled amongst the crowds and bright lights in their pedestrian disguises. Junkrat hid his signature singed hair under a tattered baseball bat while Roadhog donned his usual combo of sunglasses and bandana covering the lower half of his face. The two weren't headed towards any place in particular; it had been a long day of plotting heists and destroying the penthouses of stuffy Suits, and these wanted criminals felt they deserved some down time.
From where they were on the street, they were in clear view of one of today's jobs. A tall skyscraper owned by a big name corporation was still slightly smoldering after the event of a massive explosion. Firefighters could still be seen around the corner assessing the damage after long hours of fighting the flames.
Serves them right, Junkrat thought to himself.
Jamison however was so fixated on the building that he didn't realize his large companion in front of him stopped walking, and ended up bumping into his back. He was about to sling some vulgar commentary towards the brute about his sudden pause until he looked up and made (sort of) eye contact with Roadhog. The taller man gestured to their fine piece of handiwork, and then to the top of a building nearby, nonverbally suggesting they get a better look. Nodding enthusiastically, Junkrat took the lead to search for a way onto the rooftop.
—
"I dunno 'Hog, this was probably one of my weaker performances," Jamison said. From the ledge of the rooftop where the lethal men were sitting, Junkrat pointed out different parts of the heavily damaged skyscraper. "If I wasn't so sloppy this time 'round, this whole motherfucker woulda smashed all over the ground."
"You're always sloppy," Roadhog mumbled in reply.
"Oi, listen to the ol' lug over here makin' jokes!" Jamison laughed as he punched the other in the arm. "S'okay ta say you had fun today, too."
Junkrat turned his attention back towards the skyscraper and pointed towards a gaping hole in one of the windows. "Look, it's our escape route! Hard ta miss when it's Roadie-sized."
Roadhog glanced over at the hole, glass shards still occasionally falling off of the cracked exterior. He's brought back to that very moment, when the two were in quite the heated shooting match with security guards. As 'Hog fired at the blue uniforms wildly, he quickly scanned the area before setting his sights on the tall windows. He retreated his gun and reached for his hook as he grabbed his stick thin partner, slinging the trigger happy Junker over his shoulder as he launched the chain hook through the glass and made contact with a steel bar of a nearby construction site. Roadhog had to admit, the adrenaline he felt as they swung to safety was pretty thrilling. Hearing his boss cackle all the way down was worth it, too.
Another thing Mako had to be honest with himself about was how much he liked Jamie's laugh. Mako secretly was glad to sit on all of the smaller man's rambles about stupid shit he didn't care about, as long as that high pitched chortle of his came out of it. What others thought was weird and annoying, to him that laughter of his was oddly endearing. Mako isn't always one for conversation and normally would only grumble one or two words or a simple grunt, but during this downtime of theirs, he thought he would be a little nicer to Jamie.
Just a little.
Jamison had transitioned into some off-topic rant when Mako cleared his throat. "Hey," the large man began.
"Oh, feelin' talkative all of a sudden, are we? Heh!"
"Shut up and let me do this."
"Do what now?"
Mako paused as he tried to piece together what he wants to say. The other man stared at him eagerly with a cocked brow, the twitchy fingers of his left hand drumming along his kneecap.
"Why did the wombat cross the road?" He asked.
Jamie gave Mako a strange look. "The fuck you goin' on now, mate?"
"Just answer the damn question," Mako replied curtly.
Jamie rolled his eyes. "I've no idea why some fuckin' wombat would be crossin' some road."
Glad that Jamie didn't know the punchline, Mako completed the joke with "Because he wanted to see his flat mate".
Jamie squinted his eyes at first in confusion, then after a few seconds his eyes went wide as the joke processed in his brain. A few soft chuckles past his lips, and soon the smaller Junker found himself falling backwards onto the concrete ground of the rooftop, leg and peg leg kicking in the air as he laughed boisterously.
"He-! He wanted to see his-! HAHAHAHA!" Jamie tried to blurt out through his breathy laughs. As he finally calmed down, he lifted his hat and ran his metal hand through his loose hair and perched himself back on his seat next to Mako. "That was a real killer, mate," he said. "Had no idea you were such a clowner."
Mako rubbed one of his shoulders. "Was a joke an old friend a' mine told me many years ago," he replied. "Figured you'd get a kick out of it. Then again, you find a lot of things hilarious." He turned his head slightly towards Jamie and leaned in slightly. "If you promise not to roll off this building, I can tell you another one."
Jamie let out a giggle. "Roight, now that's what I'm talkin' about! If I knew ya had this up ya sleeves, I woulda blown these drongos over there sky high forever ago!"
Mako inhaled as he prepared to tell the next one. "Whaddya call a boomerang that doesn't come back?"
"Useless?"
"No, a stick."
"Aww, that one was pretty weak."
Mako just shrugged. "All right then, you tell one now, if you're so picky."
"Ha! "Kay then, how about this: What do a Suit and a pornstar have in common?" Jamie said.
"Don't think I wanna know the answer to that one," Mako muttered. Jamie just laughed.
Jamie scooted closer. "Don't go back to bein' a stiff! Anywho, it's their mouths. They're both full of shit."
Mako huffed. "Jesus fuck," he mustered as he tried not to envision it.
Jamie was laughing maniacally again as he slapped a hand on Mako's stomach. "Y'know that was a good one!" He blurted. "C'mon now!"
Mako brought up a massive hand to ruffle the other's head. "Yeah, I guess. But mine are better."
The two shared one more laugh together before calling it a night and making their way to a place to hide out 'til morning.