Part 1-New Job
Templeton Peck winced at the screeching voice at the other end of the phone. Sharli Angel, Vegas showgirl extraordinaire, did not like to be stood up. And Templeton "Faceman" Peck did not like standing ladies up, especially lovely blondes with a spectacular rack and a full arsenal of erotic skills. "Sharli...baby..." he pleaded when he could get a word in edgewise "I'm sorry. I didn't WANT to leave you hanging, but something really important came up..."
Sharli's voice was an ice pick stabbing into his agonized skull. "Oh yeah?! Well, guess what! I could have brought up something really important too! Lose my number, loverboy!" She slammed the phone down and Face dropped the receiver with a curse. When would he learn not to get distracted on a job?
"Bad news?" Hannibal asked as he set down a glass of orange juice and a shot of vodka on Face's nightstand.
"The worst. Sharli's finished with me." Face groaned and sat up carefully, sipping the juice, willing his stomach to settle. Part of their latest job had included getting stinking drunk with a corrupt Senator and his cronies. He ignored the vodka shot; it was Hannibal's favorite hangover cure, but it just made him thirsty.
"Another blonde?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Just curious" Hannibal sat down in a nearby chair and lit a cigar. "This is a no-smoking room", Face reminded him. Hannibal smiled and blew a few smoke rings. Congress could pass laws; local governments could pass all the ordinances they wanted, but wherever the colonel went, his pet cigars went too.
"Maybe you need a change."
"A change?" Face asked as he rubbed his forehead, trying to soothe away the jackhammer pounding behind his eyes.
"You should try a brunette."
"A brunette?" Face repeated idiotically. When he was hung over, his reflexes were slow.
"Of course. You keep trying blondes, and they keep shooting you down. So try a brunette. I've always been partial to brunettes."
"Hannibal, I've been with brunettes. And redheads and one girl with purple hair and my rate of shoot-down remains constant. If I'm on my own, I'm fine. If I have the misfortune to meet the lady while I'm working, then it's no go."
"And yet you keep trying."
"Ah, Hannibal" Face grinned at the older man over the edge of his glass. "Can you blame me?"
"You don't have to try and con me, Face. I know how devoted you are to your work. But I also know that the punk girl was an underage kid from B.A.s center. Thank God you had the sense to run like hell! And the redhead was the one who ran that grocery store in Iowa, and the last brunette was her granddaughter. You got two for one on that one."
"So? It's not MY fault we didn't hang around long enough for me to actually meet the girl! Why are you so interested in my love life, anyway?"
"You know Face, if I could have someone in my life full-time, I'd pick a sweet brunette with big brown eyes and a crazy sense of humor; someone just kooky enough to know everything about me and love me anyway." Hannibal leaned back in his chair and smiled in a way that Face knew meant trouble. On guard, Face shifted into con mode and gave the colonel a teasing grin. "Sounds nice, but how many ladies out there want to attach themselves to wanted criminals?"
Hannibal just smiled. It was making Face nervous. "What are you up to, Hannibal?"
"We've got a new job."
Face gulped down the rest of the orange juice. "Okay. Is the client a sweet brunette with big brown eyes?"
"You forgot the crazy sense of humor. Nope. It's Jackie Taylor."
"Jackie Taylor? As in my ex? What kind of trouble is she in now?" Face remembered his runaway Texas "bride" very well. Rich, spoiled, clever and (Face suspected) as much of a jazz-junkie as Hannibal himself.
"Something she's willing to pay 200,000 dollars for, plus expenses."
Face grinned. Nothing improved his outlook more than those magical words: plus expenses. The pay the A-team received for their mercenary activities was their bread-and-butter, but expense accounts were what really made life worthwhile. After all, why camp out in a crummy tent in the woods when you could stay at a nice hotel with a heated pool and concierge service? "I'm delighted to help, of course."
"I figured you would be. Go break Murdock out and meet us tonight at the Beverly Wilshire."
Part 2-A Fine Mess
"Hannibal Smith!" A tall blue-eyed woman opened the door to the Beverly Wilshire's best penthouse suite. "It's so good to see you again! You are just as handsome as ever!" She threw her arms around Hannibal and kissed his cheek, making his large grin even wider.
"Always a pleasure, Miss Taylor" Hannibal returned the kiss. "What can we do for you?"
Jackie Taylor, Face's onetime bride, smiled at everyone "And the rest of y'all too! Especially Miss Amy here." Face raised his eyebrows as Amy turned the same color as her hot pink blouse. "C'mon in! Drinks are on the bar."
"You see, it's about my brother..." Jackie said when they had all seated themselves. "He's missing!"
"I never knew you had a brother, Jackie" Face said.
"Daddy disowned him about five years ago. It's not something the family likes to talk about" Jackie sighed and shook her head. "You see…Blaine likes the boys. Daddy found out when he got involved with one of his professors at Texas A & M. He kicked Blaine out of the house, told him he couldn't use the family name any more, and gave him 24 hours to get out of town. Then he told everyone Blaine died in a car accident. We had a funeral with an empty casket. My poor mother never got over it. She just went all to pieces and Daddy had to put her away. Blaine was her favorite. I think she blamed herself for not standing up for him, but if you ever met my Daddy..." Jackie grimaced. "He was the kindest man in the world until you crossed him."
"But you kept in touch with Blaine?" Hannibal asked, taking out a cigar.
"Yes. He was my big brother and I loved him. I didn't care who he was sleeping with! When Daddy threw him out of the house, Blaine told me to get a post office box and not tell anyone. He writes to me every week or at least, he did until recently. That's when I called Tracy and asked her how she'd found y'all when I was in trouble." Jackie leaned forward, her blue eyes dark with worry. "I called his apartment in San Francisco and the number was disconnected. I got on a plane and flew out there and some thug came to the door of Blaine's apartment and said he moved! Blaine wouldn't move without telling me! I know he's in trouble!"
"Did he owe anyone money?" Amy asked. She had been busily jotting notes while Jackie spoke.
"I think so. Blaine always did like to gamble. It used to give Daddy fits. His being gay was just the last straw." Jackie sipped her drink. "I've rented a condo in San Fran for y'all to use. It's real nice; I know my ex-hubby likes the finer things." She winked at Face. "And I'll cover y'all's expenses on top of the fee. But there's one hitch."
"What's the hitch?" Face asked.
"The condo is in the Castro district. You'll have to find a way to blend in."
"That shouldn't be a problem" Hannibal said. "Face and Murdock can share the apartment and do the scouting."
"WHAT?! Wait a minute!" Face protested. "I'm not exactly comfortable—"
"Don't know why not" B.A. muttered under his breath. Face glared at him.
"Face, we need someone that people will talk to. With the right outfit, you'll be able to get a ton of these guys on the string. One of them is bound to know something."
"I don't WANT to get a ton of gay guys on the string! My reputation will be ruined!"
"With who?" Hannibal asked drily.
"Hannibal believe it or not, I know people besides the A-Team! High rollers, people in the industry—"
"And you think none of them are light in their loafers? Get real, Face. Besides, women adore gay guys! They treat them like their best girlfriends. You can talk about shopping all you want."
"You act like there's something wrong with having good taste!"
"I don't mind" Murdock said with a grin. "I'll be able to get plenty of new material for my Harry Dickey stories! My publishers have been asking for another one for a while now."
Face ignored the pilot. He did not like this plan at all. Face had put up with other people's assumptions all his life, and chief among those assumptions was that just because he didn't act like a troglodyte, he must bat for the other team. After nearly twenty years, he was pretty sick of it.
"Forget it, Hannibal" he said flatly. "You or B.A. do this one."
"Won't work. B.A. is too intimidating, and there could be repercussions back at the Center. I'm too old and if you don't mind my saying so, I'm not half as pretty as you."
"And Murdock?" Face asked sarcastically. He knew evasion when he heard it. "I wouldn't call him pretty."
"Aw, don't be mean, Faceman!"
"Murdock will suss out the more exotic members of the community" the colonel raised an eyebrow at Murdock. "It's time to bring Johnny Black out of retirement, wouldn't you say?"
Murdock giggled, that high-pitched insane cackle that Face had come to dread. It always meant the pilot was having way too much fun and that soon Face would be dragged into another fine mess. "Johnny Black is at your service" Murdock said his voice an octave deeper than normal and glossed over with slight British accent.
Face thought for a moment. He knew that Hannibal usually brooked no interference once he'd set up a plan, and he actually had a point about B.A. Finally, with an expression of profound distaste, he gave in. "All right Hannibal. I'll do it, but it'll cost you. I want 40% of this job-for myself, free and clear."
Jackie looked both shocked and angry. "I had no idea you were so close-minded, baby."
"I'm not!" Face groaned in frustration. "Other people's sex lives are none of my business. I'm just tired of being stereotyped. So what if I don't like football, being filthy dirty, or taking cars apart?! So what if I like nice clothes, good food and beautiful surroundings? None of that means I am gay, thank you very much!"
Amy started to say something and then thought better of it. She had been watching Face and Murdock for a long time, and she was positive that despite the conman's misadventures with the opposite sex, his heart lay with the pilot. Oh well. It wasn't her job to make Face wake up. She would have enough trouble dealing with Jackie, who clearly remembered a certain night in the back of the A-Team's van all too well.
Hannibal held up one hand. "I'm willing to agree to your terms. But I would ask you to keep your prejudices to yourself. People won't talk to you if you insult them."
"I will. And I'm sorry, Jackie. I don't mean to offend you or talk badly about your brother."
Jackie glanced at the Colonel. Clearly, this issue was a deep one between him and Face, one that definitely bore further scrutiny. Her charming ex-hubby seemed to be protesting far more than necessary. Murdock, on the other hand, didn't seem to be paying attention at all. He was scribbling on his arm with a ballpoint pen and chuckling to himself. "Well I forgive you, if only because you're so darn cute!" She reached around Murdock and pinched Face's cheek, leaving him looking both amused and annoyed. "But please try to relax while you're there. The apartment really is fantastic! Jacuzzi tub, king-sized beds, an entertainment system—the whole works! It's gonna be Taylor Enterprises corporate apartment once y'all find Blaine, so keep it nice, okay?"
"Not to worry. Hannibal won't be there to shoot the place up and I'll keep Murdock from chewing up the houseplants."