This story is based completely off of a dream I once had after binge watching the TV series Reign. Especially one minor character that began this journey for me.
The only real similarity is the era the story is being told in, other than that, all characters are one hundred percent fictional.
A new spin on the false history my imagination cooked up. I hope you all enjoy.
Chapter One
Destrozado Amour
France, Century 1500 a.d
Heavy beats of the mare being speared onward hammer the ground. Damp and rotten earth being pulled up with every brutal step the horse takes as it sprints into the dense fog of the night.
The animals breath coming out in a heated puff and a series of nays as its reins are pulled to a hard stop. The horse rearing back and its front legs kicking with the strain as its hooded rider dismounts before the rustic scene before them.
A lodge placed in the dense forest and two startled patrons standing outside the wooded shack as the stranger approaches.
Blue eyes stare up from the arch of the cabin doorway filled with hope and a small trace of nerves as the figure approaches though the thick muck of the wet earth.
Slowly the hooded rider pulls the cover from their crown, and instantly all joy. All longing for a bright and wondrous future, are dashed with the cold pair of dark olive shaped eyes staring back at him.
Soundless the rider reaches inside his black leather pocket to retrieve a handful of shredded parchment letting the bundle fall from his gloved fingertips like petals torn from a flower.
As the blue eyed man stares silently, and devastatingly broken.
The feelings tingling their way through me felt almost indescribable. From the warmth of the mid day sun high in the cloudless sky to the grass tickling my bare feet as I squirmed across the thick quilted blanket currently being shared with the stout figure beside me.
"Nathan!" I giggle as the blonde haired lord takes a nibble of my ear. His pearly white teeth smiling that delightfully naughty grin I have come to love so much.
"Come now, must you always play so hard to get?" He whisperers kissing my bare shoulders thanks to his relentless pulling of my overly formal gown for such a rustic occasion.
I grin as he pulls my back firmly to his hard chest the two of us laid out on what was suppose to be an innocent picnic on the hill sides bordering the castle grounds.
But so far the only thing lord Nathaniel Elizibard seems interested in tasting is me.
"You're going to ruin my gown." I scoff far to much humor in my voice to be taken seriously. I am admittedly to caught up in the wonderful feeling of his strong arms coiled around my corseted waist.
"What will the king think when his baby sister arrives to his reception so disheveled?" I ask teasingly already envisioning the look on my dear brothers face should I arrive at the grand entrance yard in such a state.
"Oh that these last few months without him have done you and I worlds of good? That the engagement our fathers worked so tirelessly to secure has flourished and should be hurried into a full matrimonial?" Nate rasp against my ear his hands beginning to explore a bit more feverishly to the hem of my dress.
"Anything to get me into the marriage bed?" I laugh shoving his hand away so I can roll and face those impossibly blue eyes.
"I wouldn't dream of imputing your honor my princess." He smiles as we kiss softly.
His princess. Nate is the only one who can call me such a title and it means little to nothing to me. The way he says it is no more than a running joke between us since we were children.
Since the day my father, god rest his soul. Marched the two of us, each barely past our seventh birthday into each others lives announcing we would marry as soon as we came of age.
A political arrangement that through years of friendship had flourished into what it was currently. Now with only a few months separating us from a decade long gap of waiting, at long last our promise to one another would be fulfilled.
Had it been up to me I would already call Nate my husband and prince to all of France had the current king, my beloved brother. Not chosen to postpone our wedding until his travel Southward for some 'diplomatic matter' he had called it was completed.
But finally after months at sea my brother King James was home and I soon to greet him with open arms and drastically messed hair if I could not find the strength to pry Lord Nathaniel away me.
"Do you think he's thought about it? Our ceremony?" I ask curiously as Nate begins to kiss my neck in that oh so teasing way of his.
"God I hope so." I hear him gruff.
"I'm serious." I smile pushing his shoulders so he's forced to look down at me.
"I want to be married. All this waiting has been torture." I sigh tiredly. How long have I dreamt of my gown? The flowing train, the flowers, the music and dancing that was sure to last for days on that glorious day.
"You don't need to remind me." Nate sighs thumbing the swell of my lips as if contemplating to kiss me again this time more feverishly than before.
"Do you think of nothing else?" I smile. It was obvious Nate was impatient as well, but for far more serious reasons than my own.
Maintaining my virtue for all this time had been no easy task, especially with Nathan as my betrothed. The man was impulsive and brazen but undeniably gorgeous. His thick curled gold locks, his deep blue eyes and strong jaw. From the highest ladies of the court to the scullery maids of the castle it could not be denied. I knew all of their longing eyes had fallen on him far more times than I could count, and each time I took a secret pride knowing that he was to be mine and mine alone.
Though unfortunately for him, not until our wedding night. I had allowed his mischievous ways to dull quite a few of my more firm morals but in this I had been solid as stone.
I would have no man diminish my worth until our vows to God were recited before the entire kingdom. Though I would be lying to myself if I didn't say watching Nate squirm time and time again with my teasing refusal didn't give me a small hint of amusement each time I watched him limp away in un-satiated misery.
The price I told myself of being engaged to royalty.
"On occasion." Nathan smiled kissing the corner of my mouth sweetly.
I tilt my head towards his giving him my full permission to continue an offer he accepts all to willingly, but the moment our lips threaten to meet the roaring of a barrage trumpets sound.
My heart skips a beat in my chest as I turn towards the castle a fair distance off from the shaded grove Nathan and I called our own.
The thick fabric of the castle banners catching the breeze and even from this far away from the inner high stone walls of my home I can hear the heavy approaching of horseman and carriages.
"James." I smile and before I can even muster a bit of warning for my slightly taken back fiancé I leap to my bare feet.
Taking a handful of my blush colored gown in each hand I begin to sprint towards the castle ignoring Nathans attempts to call after me as I let the wind and the speed I am drastically beginning to pick up fill my ears.
Usually it would have taken me a good while before reaching the monstrosity of pillars and stone that was my families home but I knew the layout of the castle grounds well. Having explored them all my life I could navigate with the best of the architects James had to offer.
Before to long I am sprinting through the gallery of stone pillars leading towards the main halls open gardens the largest of all the shrubbery in the courtyard.
All the while dodging in and out of servants walking by with full trays of refreshments and treats no doubt to satiate the welcoming party firmly gathered at the gates.
Ponce lords and their overly jeweled incrusted wife's circling my brothers arrival reception like vultures and blocking a clear shot to the front but I steadily begin to make my way through.
All the while the trumpets are blaring impossibly louder but I can still hear the carriages begin to roll to a stop with the neighing of the horse being coached to a halt.
Then, somehow through the sea of people shifting before me I can see him.
My brothers dark onyx hair catching the sunlight above as he emerges through the opened gates, his tan skin completing the heavy decorative fabrics he looks stitched into.
I hadn't realized the wrinkles around the corner of his eyes had become so prominent from his time at sea. It obviously hadn't been an easy voyage but my excitement quickly overtakes my concern and posterity aside I fly towards him.
Caring nothing for the nobleman I push past in my wake I reach him my arms wide and my eyes bright with relief and happiness he was once again home. I didn't realize just how much I had missed his overbearing presence until it was no longer towering over me.
The moment his eyes meet mine we connect with such force we almost topple over onto the cobblestone path of courtyard, a mixture of both gasp and laugher erupt from the crowd as I wrap my arms around his thick neck.
To partially tackle a king as I have would certainly mean death to anyone who dare attempt it, but James wasn't just the King of my country. And as silly as it sounded he wouldn't have had me treat him as such, it was the reason our relationship was so special.
That the reflection of strength and power he always exuded could ebb away if only for a moment with me if no one else.
"Baby sister, you've grown since I last saw you." He smiles down at me once I find the will to slightly pull away.
"Or you might have withered away, perhaps sailing doesn't agree with you." I smile staring up at his slightly aged face. Oh how I've missed those dark eyes. The almost mirror like image of our father that only he inherited.
"Perhaps." He smiles warmly.
"If not to much trouble might I also greet my king?" A honeyed voice chimes beside me. I turn with little surprise to see Stephanie, queen of France and my ever constant sister in law.
Her long auburn hair and fair complexion perfectly complementing the golden gown I personally knew had taken her seamstress a fort night to complete.
"Of course, where are my manners?" I curtsy slightly ebbing away from my brother slightly allow him room to greet his queen.
The two sharing an expected stare towards one another as she greets him as any typical royal would. Unlike Stephanie even though I was bred and groomed into honing my countries costumes didn't mean I chose to partake in them as religiously as she did. Then again, I wasn't queen. Less was expected of me and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
"Most likely wherever you left you're shoes." The husked voice of my uncle rasp dryly towards me. I stare up to the salt and pepper stubble covered face with a warm smile. No surprise, my lax of posture had been discovered by my eagle eyed elder of all people. So much as a loosen button didn't escape his notice.
"Uncle." James nods in acknowledgment his gloved fingers now firmly intertwined with that of his doting wife who ever so predictably stood at his side.
"You're majesty. Welcome home." Uncle Richard bows as costmary along with the rest of the privilege court surrounding us.
I stand there narrowly from the center as my brother took in the sight of his council and family. Even with these last few months going on without his watchful gaze, things seemed to stay exactly the same.
And that is how I, Evelyn princess of France, adored it.
I stare at the girl in the mirror peering back at me. Her curled brunette hair resting far past her shoulders, the decorative braids laced with pearls and the way her light jade colored eyes reflect the brilliant puce of the absolutely breathtaking gown she was currently corseted into.
The army of seamstress I had assigned to create the vision before me would be well rewarded after tonight's banquet I secretly promise myself.
I peer down at the wide variety of woman parading around me one making sure every lock of my hair is in place, the others adjusting the hem of my gown and the intricate beading.
Nothing but the best for a night like this could be expected of them. Every noble family who had any standing in French court at all would be attending the celebration.
But there was only one lord I planned on catching the eye of. Nathan wouldn't be able to keep his eyes off of the vision I had become, I would make sure of it.
A knock at the door of my private chambers catches my attention and no sooner do I turn to see who has arrived does the gloriously handsome vision of King James come marching through.
The flurry of woman at my side bow instantly but I stare a the broad form of my brother with an impressive smile.
His tunic is freshly sown and brilliant in its color, the emerald green of the drape of his shoulder catching the subtle candle light of my chamber beautifully. Title of King aside, he was such an impressive sight that any woman would surely swoon for.
"Look at you." James smiles warmly taking in the sight of me with obvious agreement.
"Do you like it? I've had it worked on for months." I boast grasping the hem of my gown to fan out the fabric further so as to reveal every piece of the detailed embroidering.
"It's stunning." He complements, the real beauty of my gown lost on him. Little did he know the price of this fabric would certainly rival that of a prized stallion.
"But obviously no comparison to yourself." I add admiring how truly handsome he appears before me.
"Perhaps the sea wasn't as cruel to you as I first thought?" I smile teasingly.
James chuckles softly as he bows his head, before once again finding the tone every servant in the castle had come accustomed too.
"Might I have a moment with my sister?" He states to the bundle of bed chamber maids that politely curtsy away towards the still open door of my room.
I watch them go with no hint of remorse they have done a fine job and would be rewarded for it once the banquet had come to its end.
I step down from the circled platform centered at my large decorative mirror towards the oak glossed table currently holding my golden jewels.
"Why were you gone so long? Surely the Southern lands couldn't have been that interesting." I ask curiously reaching for my shimmering bracelets and necklace.
I hear James sigh tiredly as he stares off towards the sealed doors of my balcony, to the rolling naked hills just bordering the flat black surface of the sea.
"It was certainly a trip to remember." He whispered, seeming more to himself than in response to my question.
"I'd hope so. It had to have been more thrilling than gardening with Stephanie or being forced to play chess with Uncle Richard. Which by the way I openly admit I made a poor substitute in your absence." I laugh as I attempt to fasten my golden chain into submission.
God the hours I would never see again from having to constantly endure the lecturing from both my family members. Uncle Richard on the morals of life, while Stephanie tried endless to mold me into the demur queen she claimed to be.
I was beyond relieved that was now far behind me with James return.
"Here," James offered as he stepped behind me to assist in fastening my suddenly overly tiring piece of jewelry.
I step away allowing him to readjust the messed bundle I have made of the chain as I turn my attention towards the set of much more flattering peal earrings.
"This is-" I hear James begin as I turn to see him thumbing the thick links of the gold chain currently clutched in his palm.
"Mothers." I assure him as I pierce one of the pearls through my ear easily enough.
Even if I hadn't watched the tranquility of this moment wash over my brothers face I would have felt the shift in the air all the same. This subject was never something easily brought to light between us. Him having so much more recollection on the topic than I.
Queen Rebecca had died the winter of my third birthday, my memories of that time beyond hazy while as James being narrowly a decade older than myself had much more to dwell on.
My family was jagged like that. The three of us, James, an older sister who I also didn't remember and a mother I had long forgotten.
Strange to feel no reluctance or sadness to mention the subject. After all I was only five when James had been named King after father had fallen in the war long since passed.
James had been the only monarch I had known.
"She never liked gold jewelry you know? She always said 'something meant to insight jealously and beauty shouldn't weigh you down like a mule'." He smiled to himself.
I smile at the look on his face. A rare moment to see his mind flash to the past when so often it was intent on the future.
"You'd know better than I." I assure him as I finish securing my pearls.
"Evelyn, my journey to the south. I wanted to speak with you about it." James stated returning back to the present at hand.
"Oh? What about? The joys of scurvy? Or one legged men with parrots?" I ask with a smile. Sea life was not a subject that much interested me. Rough water and even rougher company, seemed like a blessing that I had been fortunate enough never to be exposed to such a thing.
"I'm serious Lynne." James stated more firmly, shorting my name always meant he wasn't in the mood for our usual games.
"There a some things, things we need to discuss." He added.
"About your future." He finished catching my full attention with the dryness of his tone.
"What is it?" I ask stepping towards him making sure my sea foam colored eyes met the dark pits of his own.
"You know what you mean to me? Don't you? That there is nothing I wouldn't do for you? That I love you more than-" He began in a much more soften voice instantly buckling under the concentration of my stare.
"Than complete sentences?" I ask teasingly.
"James, what is it. Tell me." I say directly but a sympathetic smile placed upon my lips. The fact that he was carrying on this way, especially towards me meant it was something of importance.
That façade of a stern righteous King I knew all to well never disappeared in the presence of others, only with me and Stephanie did the real James seep through.
That fact that those two personalities were clashing before me, told me straight away this was a matter that demanded my attention.
"It's about you engagement. To Nathaniel." He began.
"What about it?" I ask my heart tightening in my chest.
"During my time away I had quite a bit of time to question the decisions I've made. The arrangements that I have yet to see fulfilled." He began forwardly while I hung on every word.
"Yes?" I asked longingly. Finally! I could see it in his eyes, the reluctance, the apologizing tone. It could only mean one thing! He was done tormenting me with the postponement of my engagement! At long last he had decided to secure our ceremony!
All he had to do was say it. Say that he would summon the council to set our day in stone and we would marry as soon as allowed.
But before the words I had oh so longed to hear escaped him the chamber door opened once more, and no other than our Uncle stepped through.
"Pardon me your majesties. Am I intruding?" Uncle Richard asked while bowed respectfully towards the pair of us.
Every part of me wanted to shout 'Yes!' but James much more fair tone filled the air first.
"No, not at all. I was just receiving some much needed fashion advice from my more knowledgeable sibling." James smiled all seriousness of the conversation we had so narrowly had, gone in an instant.
I shake off the annoyance of the situation to not rise suspicions. I knew full well Uncle Richard had never been an active contributor to mine and Nathan union in the first place.
Always seeking to marry me off to a more promising title, though luckily James had always ignored his council on that aspect. But it was still best not to reignite the subject between them.
"Yes, I was informing the King that rubies would complement his attire much more appropriately." I smile sweetly.
"Wise council indeed." Uncle Richard smiles playing along with our game as he often did.
James turned back towards me, kissing the top of my head all to easily as he whispered down at me.
"We will finish our discussion later." He promises as he steps away towards the open chamber door.
Uncle Richard bowing as he exited into the waiting hall. The banquet was staring and we both knew the guest of honor shouldn't be delayed from his own party.
"You look beautiful." Uncle Richard proclaims proudly as he steps towards me.
"The ladies of the court will have to hold tightly to their husband tonight." He smiles taking my hand in his with a soft kiss.
"I'm sure they will be far to busy trying to pry their envious eyes from the handsome lord escorting me." I assure him with a gentle squeeze.
It would bring me much joy to see my Uncle wed, lord knows he had received dozen of offers from this country an others looking to marry into the royal family. Yet he had accepted none, always stating that marriage would only drag him away from the matters of the court. Which to him had always been more important.
"Than might the most beautiful princess do the most handsome lord the courtesy of escorting him to the party?" He ask with a warm weathered smile as I loop my arm into his own.
"It would be my honor." I smile as the duo of us step towards the grand hall, and the radiating music already beginning to fill the stone walls.
The banquet was everything I had hoped for. Music, food, the gowns the jewels of my world. This is what it was to be royalty a life of lavish design and perfumed skin.
It was where I felt I belonged most, as did the equally as ecstatic girl pulling me away from a group of French lords who were filling my ears with tales of the sea voyage they had endured along side my brothers company.
The moment the soft smell of roses and clover reached my nasals I know who the soft scent belongs to before ever turning to see those honey colored eyes. Catherine Braud.
General Armel's fourth daughter and my dearest friend. The two of us completely inseparable ever since her father was assigned to my brothers council when she was six.
"So a little bird tells me you received the King in a most delicate state." She whispers to me as we loop arms and begin stepping through the crowded ball room. Sipping the wine we have been so narrowly afforded without disproving eyes upon us.
"Delicate?" I repeat intrigued. Castle gossip was always Cat's specialty and she knew I knew it. If ever a scandal was to emerge within these stone walls Catherine was merely a skip away ready to repeat it, a trait I personally valued in her.
"Messed hair and shoeless? What could you have been doing all morning?" She ask with a crimson smile revealing her sparkling white teeth.
I look over at her pressed so tightly to my side, were it not for the subtle difference plain to the naked eye. I like to believe the two of us could have passed for sisters.
Though her sand colored hair and olive skin hue were in direct contrast to my darker hair and lighter eyes. Though that wasn't to say we didn't have a number of similarities.
Both almost the same height, her being just a mere heel taller than me and more weighted towards her chest. A trait all the Braud woman carried.
"As princess of France I am obligated to answer nothing." I state sarcastically, there were no secrets between Cat and me. It had been that way all our lives, we confided in each other after all she was the sister I never had.
The gap of our age only spanning a few months, if ever I was to have an older sibling I would pray that god would anoint Cat.
"So how is lord Elizibard?" Cat whispers with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. I can already tell she is drooling for the details.
"Frustrated I'd imagine." I whisper into the rim of my wine filled cup.
Cat giggles at my side, she knows all to well the game Nate and I play. Having done so thousands of time herself. Everyone of Catharine's sisters were married to the most wealthiest lords of France, each dowry larger than the last.
Leaving Cat as the last unattached Braud in French court, a much sought after prize. Which she knew and exploited to her benefit, especially at such a lavished gathering as this.
The flurry of rich eligible lords searching for a young determined bride numbered in the dozen and knowing Cat as I did. She planned to sift through each and every one of them tauntingly slowly.
"And here I thought princesses were suppose to be merciful in times of great distress." Cat added teasingly, knowing the torment I inflicted on Nathan all to well.
"Oh I will soon enough, but why ruin the fun?" I ask holding her arm a little tighter to my own. No one understood me like Catherine, not even James.
"Speak of the devil." Cat added squeezing my hand lovingly before releasing me as both our gaze turn towards the statuesque vision of my fiancé marching towards us.
The confidence in Nathans stride that which could only be matched by royalty, a fact that with a fair amount of luck he would soon become.
"My lord," Catharine bows as she excuses the two of us before she is lost in the crowd of gossamer fabrics and jewel covered bodies.
"Your majesty." Nathan bows respectfully taking my hand for a lingering kiss. His lips soft on my knuckles as he whispers against them.
"Why lord Elizibard, don't you look handsome this fine night." I say softly as he adjust to stare down at me with the eyes that always made my heart beat a little faster.
"A pale shadow in comparison to you. You look incredible." He declares lowly, his eyes lingering on the soft curve of my bond cleavage a little longer than necessary.
I resist the urge to blush at the memory of his hands upon said spot mere hours before.
"Might I be as bold as to ask the princess for a dance?" He ask softly.
"Attempting to impugn my honor again are we lord Nathaniel?" I ask sweetly, noticing the softness of his blonde locks damp from a fresh bath, one I know he wished we could have shared.
"Doomed to fail as always my princess." He smiles as he pulls me towards the dance floor.
I surrender to the music allowing him to lead me with his soft spins and gentle direction of his hands. I don't know how long we moved along the stone floor but my excitement could not be contained a moment longer.
I had to tell him what James had revealed to me. If I don't I would surely explode.
"I have news." I whisper as he pulls me close placing my hand upon shoulder as we step rhythmically to the mellow music filling the air.
I peer up towards him smiling all the while with the tingling of such wonderful words they begin to sweeten my tongue.
"James has decided to set a date, for our ceremony." I whisper.
Nate spins me away only to hurried bring me back his eyes widen and his jaw slack with utter surprise.
"You're serious?" He ask halting in our dancing motion altogether as we stand there in the center of all the pairs twirling around us.
"He spoke to me before the banquet. He as good as gave me his word." I assure him with an ecstatic smile.
I watch as a smile sweeps across his handsome face, so wide and gleaming it rivaled my own as he lifts me into the air spinning me around with a hardy laugh escaping his throat.
I giggle at his excitement as he sets me back down before him. Kissing my hands as he brings them both to his lips holding each one tightly.
"This is fantastic. At long last!" He beams making me giggle as he leans in closer.
Our forehead pressed to one another's as we smile like the children we once were staring into each others eyes with so much joy and love.
"I should tell my parents, they'll be ecstatic." He whispers to me, feeling the same ball of excitement build in his throat. As if he wanted to shout it to the entire castle.
"Wait a moment? I'm not finished dancing with my very soon to be husband yet." I smile pulling back only enough to resume our dancing position.
He smiles even wider in response.
"Of course my very soon to be wife." He laughs spinning me once more only to greedily pull me back into his arms, and I all to willingly go.
I was beyond relieved to find that the guards so constant and overly annoying presence outside my brothers chambers was now absent due to the raging banquet still flourishing in the reception hall.
Even from this distance in the belly of the castes largest tower I could still hear the drums and flutes filling the air. A perfect distraction as I slipped away from the party to retrieve the golden chain James had so elegantly stolen from me.
This wasn't the first time his majesty had pulled a stunt like this. I knew he secretly didn't approved of my wearing mothers jewels, no doubt he had hoarded them all away in his study adjacent to his sleeping chambers.
Normally I would just let this little incident slide by but I was about to address lord and lady Elizibard my soon to be in-laws. How could I face such a prominent family without my entire appearance intact.
Absurd I know that the title of princess should be enough alone to maintain their impossible standards for their only sons union and for Lord Elizibard it was, but not for my soon to be mother.
For whatever reason the woman never cared for me, and in all honestly the nature of her disdain was well reciprocated. But that didn't mean we didn't play our parts, her of the doting mother and me as the ever so gracious daughter.
But should I face the old crow with my neck bare of any envy invoking jewels, it would surely not go unnoticed by her withered eyes.
Stepping into James study I was relieved the large chamber was bare of any overly adventurous party guest or council members. I would simply slip in retrieve my necklace and return to the waiting arms of my fiancé.
I paused for a moment in the great dome like room eyeing the scattered pieces of parchment and maps laid out onto the large oak table in the center of the chamber.
The wall mounted torches still burning and the thick crimson curtains separating the study from its smaller branch that contained the vast shelves of the library beyond sealed closed.
No matter I knew where James would have most likely stored my necklace, the small oak box that he had carved years ago in his youth subsequently as a gift for our mother.
I approached the far closed off corner of the room where I knew the box sat hidden behind two of James's favorite books. The "Joachum du Bellay" and the "Pierre Ronsard" series.
Silently I slipped behind the curtain even with the absents of light I felt my way along the book covered walls and shelves. The texture of those two volumes I couldn't possibly miss, I could've found them in my sleep if necessary.
As I suspected I felt the dingy cover of the overly worn spine of the "Bellay" and pulled it from its resting place. Groping behind the thick void it now caused with its absence I felt the smooth sanded texture of the box.
I couldn't help but smile at my investigative skills. Well played as always brother, but I suspected I knew him better than anyone else ever could.
I had just narrowly managed the pull the box from its hiding place when I heard the unmistakable clink of the chamber door being pushed open from the other side of the curtains.
Started I hurriedly placed the book back into its slot careful not to make a sound as I froze in place.
The sound of more than one pair of hurried footsteps rushing into the study making my heart race in my chest.
Who would possibly enter the kings private study? The answer came all to suddenly and the color drained from my face.
Holding my breath I tip toed towards the curtains pressing my face to the fabric thankful for the torches on the other side that allowed me to see the silhouettes of the three figures now barricaded into the chamber along with me.
"James what is this all about?" Stephanie's unmistakable voice breaking the silence and my breathless state.
"Are you feeling well? The guest will wonder why the king of all people is absent at his own celebration." Uncle Richards solid tone asked and my nervousness only grew.
Wonderful not only was I about to be caught by my brother for sneaking into his study but the duo of people who disapproved of my actions most when misbehaved.
"I thought I could make it through the end of the banquet but I cant." James's unusually shaken voice responded as I watched what I now knew to be his shadow approach the solid form of the study table.
"There is something I have to discuss with the two of you. Something of dire importance," James stated palming the tables edge in either hand as he leaned forward.
Obviously gauging the confused duo that now stood before him, and me hidden away in the shadows caught off gaud by the seriousness of his voice.
"What is it? What's going on?" Stephanie asked voicing the questions that I could not.
"Before I begin I have to make this absolutely clear. What I am about to say, can not leave this room. Do the both of you understand?" James began in a tone of voice I had only heard him speak when addressing matters of state towards the council. Never while in my presence. And honestly it freighted me.
I watched as the figures of Stephanie and Uncle Richard nodded from beyond the curtains. No longer the family of James and I but the positioned royal members of the Queen of France and most trusted advisor.
"Prince Phillip, is dying." James whispered.
A hush fell over the room and I had to force myself to focus on concealing my breathing. Prince Phillip? The heir to the Spanish throne?
"King Thiago's son?" Stephanie asked dryly.
"The same." James responded lowly.
"We've heard nothing of this?" Uncle Richard began, obviously feeling the same amount of shock and confusion as the rest of us.
"No intel, no reports, absolutely nothing from our French loyalist. Something of this magnitude would never have slipped past our network." Uncle Richared stated with the utmost certainty.
"This wont reach our spies, or anyone else for that matter." James replied bluntly.
"I don't understand." Stephanie began obviously feeling the exact same amount of confusion as I currently was.
What would the Spanish prince have to do with us? The French had a standing alliance with the domineering country but we had no ties to the bloodline on the thrown? Why did James treat their misfortune with such secrecy. If the prince was dying it would surely come out sooner or later.
After all how had my brother come to know of this when he hadn't even been home in his own country from the past several months?
"I must start at the beginning." James began seeming to understand the cryptic nature of his behavior for the first time since entering the room.
"First, I must reveal the lie I have been concealing from you all. My journey to the Sutherlands wasn't to broker a more profitable arrangement between France and the growing continents." James stated as casually as he would if he were inviting someone for tea. Not revealing that he had deceived his entire country and French empire for months.
"If you weren't in the Sutherlands? Then where were you?" Stephanie asked the façade of queen slipping from grasp into that of a spited wife.
"Spain." James replied un-phased by her shock and rising distrust.
"I have personally visited Spanish court and discussed at length with King Thiago himself an agreement that will shape the future of our two kingdoms." James stated boldly.
"You went to Spain? How could we have not known?" Uncle Richard thought out loud. I knew little of the positions of court the subject had never interested me. But I did know enough to know that knowledge of the kings whereabouts and movements was Uncle Richards stock and trade.
Something like this slipping past his notice, was bound to ruffle a few feathers and in all honestly. I was beginning to feel the same.
James had never lied to me? Why would he make all of us believe he was somewhere else when all the while he had been in Spanish court and not on the rough seas? Would it have not been better to tell us all the truth and save us loads of worry?
"My arrival and departure was handled with the utmost secrecy." James assured Uncle Richard callously. This obviously hadn't been done on a whim. James had planned this, and went to great lengths to conceal it.
"James this doesn't make any sense? Why would you go to Spain and not tell anyone? Further more what does the unfortunate state of King Thiago's only son have to do with anything?" Stephanie pressed as only she could.
"Prince Phillip isn't King Thiago's only son." James said completely ignoring his Queens series of questions.
"What?" Uncle Richard asked.
"Years ago King Thiago fathered an illegitimate child with his mistress Constantine of Argentina, she bore him a son. Tomas, five years prior to the birth of prince Phillip." James explained vaguely.
"King Thiago has a bastard, what difference does that make? It would be difficult to find a King anywhere who hasn't fathered quite a number of them." Uncle Richard stated bluntly.
"You don't understand. King Thiago eldest son isn't just a bastard. He is soon to be named heir to the Spanish throne." James replied sharply.
"King Thiago plans to have him legitimatized. He has already begun corresponding with the pope to have him declared legitimate." James said enthusiastically.
"Who knows about this?" Uncle Richard asked instantly.
My chest felt tight, to have a bastard legitimized was no small thing but what did the Spanish line of succession have to do with my brother? Why was he privy to this information when obviously no one else had been.
None of this made sense.
"No one. Not even Tomas, himself." James said bluntly.
"The condition of the prince is being handled with absolute secrecy. Besides the King only myself the two of you and a small number of his most trusted council know." James assured with harsh seriousness.
"How can they possibly keep something like this a secret? Surely the court will begin to ask questions? Phillip has been groomed to rule Spain ever since he was born. His absence wont go unnoticed." Stephanie added.
"Prince Phillip has been removed from the castle. To live out the remainder of his weaning day in a private estate as far from court as possible." James explained.
"He is being cared for by a select group of physician sworn to silence. No letters, no visits. Not a soul has come in or out of the grounds for the past seven months. The official story to the Spanish court and its people is that prince Phillip has retired from court for a much desired time of solitude and prayer." James revealed.
"James what do all this mean?" Stephanie asked, I was beyond relieved someone else in the chamber felt the confusion I could not address.
How I wish I could sneak away, but there was no way out of the chamber besides the main entrance, and there was no way I could step out from behind the curtains without instantly being discovered.
"Don't you see? I've already secured our position as Spain's number one choice in a union between our two countries." James stated proudly.
"A binding agreement between France and Spain the most powerful country in the world. The power between both our nations joining together would rival that of any other under God." James declared.
"Secured how? What union could Spain possibly seek from us?" Stephanie asked, I could tell her tone was shaky and fearful of the answer.
The same as I.
"The only one there is." James whispered.
"Marriage." He breathed.
My heart stopped dead in my chest, and I felt the awful taste of bile rise in my throat. This couldn't possibly be real, this had to have been some horrible nightmare I had spiraled into by accident.
"Marriage. You cant possibly mean?" Stephanie began.
"Evelyn?" Uncle Richard finished.
The color drained from my face and my breathing ceased as the horror I had dreaded had just been confirmed. I wanted to run, flee as fast as my legs would carry me. But I stood there, frozen in my own skin as the man I trusted most prepared to rip out my beating heart from my chest.
"You plotted to marry the Princess of France to an untitled illegitimate bastard?" Stephanie spat feeling only a fragment of the betrayal that I currently did.
"Tomas wont be a bastard forever, I already have Thiago's full support. The very moment prince Phillip dies Tomas will be legitimized as his heir and set as Spain's next King. Then he and Evelyn will wed. The heir to the Spanish throne marrying the heir to France." James described, the very sound of his voice making my blood run cold.
Who was this man? He wasn't my brother! My brother, my loving, kind, faithful brother would have never do something like this to me! The betrayal I felt coursing through me. I never thought anything could possibly hurt this badly!
"And what about Evelyn's engagement to Nathaniel? You would just dissolve it?" Stephanie questioned.
Oh god Nate! He didn't know! He had no idea the devious plot that was unwinding behind both our backs to tear us away from one another. I cup my hands over my mouth to silence myself as I feel tears begin to form. It is the only thing I can do to keep myself from sobbing.
"I've already discussed the matter with Lord Elizibard, he is perfectly agreeable to setting aside his sons engagement." James replied evenly as if the betrayal he had just acted upon meant nothing to him at all.
"So long as?" Uncle Richard asked.
"A generous amount of gold, a standing château on the eastern province. And the promise I will consider Nathaniel for the position of Duke." James explained.
"James, she'll be crushed." Stephanie interrupted.
I turn towards James's shadow. Do her words mean nothing to him as well? Have I no hope of reaching the man I once called my brother?
"I know. But, I have no other choice." James began a hint of remorse in his voice, as if he truly had thought of the emotional consequences of his actions. But ignored them all the same.
"Something like this, an opportunity of this magnitude is something monarchs only dream about. In Spain Evelyn will have every comfort. King Thiago assured me she would be treated with the utmost respect and kindness…" James trailed off, maybe thinking of me for the first time since he started this travesty he called a marriage arrangement.
"In Spain. So not only is she being torn away from the boy she has been promised to since childhood. You are uprooting her from the only home she has ever known." Stephanie began angrily, my momentary misery distracted only by the one person who seemed to care about me.
"It is paramount that Evelyn take her place in Spanish court as soon as possible." James replied sharply,
"As what? A chess piece? A pawn to be moved or discarded at the slightest whim of a foreign King?" Stephanie pressed.
"As King Thiago's honored guest. A show of good faith that France fully supports this union." James snapped back his own anger rising at the pestering of the one person who seemed eager to defend me.
"James-" Uncle Richard began his own questioning of this arrangement beginning to sink in.
"I didn't make this decision lightly. But without an heir of my own-" James stated his tone ghosting something hard and buried as he turned towards Stephanie.
"This is what is best for France." He declared.
Stephanie fell silent at the last hope I had of escaping this nightmare I had been thrown into, slipped away.
"Preparations have already begun. And, I don't need to remind either of you that what I have just shared here today. Will not be repeated." James ordered, and just as quickly as he barged in. He soldiered towards the chamber door and vanished all the same.
I ran so far and so furious I could feel the undeniable pain from my bare feet pounding the hillside outside the castles hold begin to radiate all the way to my chest.
My throat burned and my eyes stung from the tears streaming down my flushed cheeks as finally I collapsed just shy of the massive tree Nathan and I called our own.
My dress was tattered and my hair messed as I cupped my face sobbing into my palms. My cries the only thing drowning out the distant music still raging from inside the castle to my back.
The midnight air cooled my hot skin but did little to nothing else to quell the trauma building in my chest. My world was collapsing around me and I was helpless to do anything about it.
The moment James and my family retreated from the study I had stood their frozen in the darkness of the chamber with the horrid realization of what I had just overheard.
My life here in France was being ripped away from me by the people I had trusted most. I was being sold like a common whore to a foreign rulers bastard child!
I couldn't bare the thought of it! France was all I had ever known, was I ever wanted to know. How could they do this to me?
I don't know how long I knelt in the lush grass weeping so harsh and loudly it rivaled the day I lost my father. That pain was the most intense I had ever known until today.
I was sure had it not been for the banquet music the entire country side would have heard me.
The only thing even partially breaking me from my trance of utter misery was the steady approaching of hurried footsteps fast approaching me from behind.
Fearful of whom I might see who had discovered me in such a state I peered over my bare shoulder, only for my pain to be intensified ten fold.
"So its true?" Nathan panted having just obviously fled from the castle himself.
I turned to him red faced and breathless leaping to my feet as he jolted forward to meet my every step. His arms coiled around me as I buried my face in chest crying just as hard as before.
"Oh Nate," I sobbed brokenly.
I didn't know how he had fond me or even discovered what had just transpired in James's study and I didn't care. All that mattered was he was here, he was with me and obviously just as destroyed as I was.
"My father told me James plans to dissolve our engagement. Even you were unable to dissuade him?" Nathan confessed answering my question even though I hadn't gotten the chance to voice it.
So that is what had happened? Nathan had informed his father of my misled information that James planned to cement or union only to be promptly corrected.
But did he know the whole truth? Did he know about the Spanish alliance? I couldn't bare the idea of telling him. Not me. How could I tell the only man I had ever loved that I was being carted off to marry another who I had never even met.
"What are we going to do?" I cried pressing myself tighter into his arms praying I would never be forced to abandoned them.
"Don't, don't give it a second thought." Nate ordered cupping my hot face in his cool palms forcing me to look up at him.
"How can I not?" I asked my tears rolling off my cheeks until he thumbed them away softly.
"James will break our engagement. Without you its only a matter of time before I'll be sold off to the highest bidder. Ill be torn away from my home, my friends, from you." I cried filling another broken sob rack my chest threatening to burst at any given moment.
"That is not going to happen. I wont let it!" Nate swore leaning down so close that I could smell the sweet wine on his breath.
"You are mine Evelyn. I wont let anyone come between us." He swore pressing himself so close to me I was finding it difficult to breathe.
"Do you believe me?" He asked stroking my cheek his blue eyes burning an entire shade darker as he awaited my response.
I had none. My voice was broken from crying so harshly, all I could do was node in agreement. I hoped that would be enough.
Nathan captured my lips and I all to willingly returned his touch full force, because for all I knew it might be the last time I ever got to feel him against me.
When finally the need for air between us became to much our lips separated as he held me close resting his head on top my own.
"Now go back. Don't let anyone see you like this. We have to act as if though nothing is wrong. Understand?" He whispered kissing my forehead as he started down at me.
"I'll come for you tomorrow night." He vowed and I knew he meant every word.
I shook my head in acceptance as I forced myself out of his arms and back towards the castle, knowing full well with every step I took the life I had once known, grew further and further away.
The next day had come and gone like a dream, or given the circumstances in my case a nightmare. I lay in my chambers not even allowing my servants to tend me.
Only allowing one of my chamber maids in long enough to instruct her not to let anyone disturb me. A fake illness easily blamed on the over consumption of wine the night before.
The long hours of the day I lay in my bed staring out towards the hillside through the fogged glass of my balcony windows. Wishing like I had never before that I could fly through the pane and far away from this place.
But even with these precious moments of solitude all good things came to their end.
A knock on my chamber door followed by the clink of the handle as it swings gently open informs me one of the three people I would rather set fire too than see has come marching in.
"I heard you weren't feeling well." Stephanie's overly honeyed voice rings through my once peaceful chamber as she approaches my bed.
Softly I feel the feather bed dip with her weight on the far corner as I stare off towards the outside world trying to wish the auburn hair queen away.
"I brought you this. It should make you feel better." She continues the rustle of a tray smelling of fresh made bread and pork sausage. Conveniently my favorite, catching my nose.
But she was sadly mistaken if she thought food would buy my forgiveness for the charade she was currently trying to pass off as kindness. She was guilt ridden as damn well she should be. The way she and my own brother had conspired against me!
"How is it not a soul in the castle cares about my well being any other day. But, the moment I want to be alone the attention cant help but flood in?" I ask my voice a harsh whisper.
Stephanie chuckles softly to herself.
"I take it last nights celebration didn't go quite as planned?" She ask as if she is use to my emotional trauma as if she has seen it any other day.
"My you're perceptive." I hiss my fingers curling into a fist against my pillow.
"Lynne, I know your having a moment. But I really wanted to talk to you about something important." Stephanie began ignoring the sharpness of my tone all to easily.
"Oh and what could that be?" I shoot up to meet her face to face for the first time since she entered my chamber.
"The weather? Or maybe my hair? Or maybe-" I tear the sheets away from my body as I storm to my feet I want to look down at her when I say what is burning my tongue.
"That you and my brother are conspiring to sell me to a Spanish bastard!" I snap and the moment the words leave my lips I see the color drain from her face.
I watch as the woman I knew for her regal beauty turn as white as a sheet and her jaw slack in utter shock.
"What? Surprised? Not half as much as I was believe me." I snap as I storm towards the small oak table that contains a pitcher of water that I want to throw at her.
"How could you possibly-" I hear her breathe only now partially breaking through her trance of utter dismay.
"I was there last night." I hiss grasping the table at my side so tightly my knuckles turn white.
"I went into the study to retrieve my necklace when the three of you soldiered in. I heard everything. Every single sorted detail about James's brilliant plan to wed me to the next 'King of Spain'." I state the title like a bad theatric play.
"Evelyn listen to me very carefully. Does anyone else know what you heard?" Stephanie ask rising to her feet only now partially regaining her lost color.
"Why? Afraid I might spoil the surprise? That Spain might topple into ruin if anyone discovers their precious prince is dying?" I ask angrily.
"Keep your voice down!" Stephanie commands lowly how own voice barely above a whisper.
"Why should I? No one listens to me anyway!" I purposefully shout as loudly as I can watching as the Queen of France winces before me from the sound.
"Evelyn listen-" She tires to quell me, I can tell she is nervous very much so judging by the look of horror spreading across her face.
Good I want her to be afraid. I want her to hurt, to cry and feel just a fraction of what was currently rampaging its way through me!
"No you listen! I actually thought you were more than just my queen. That you were my friend! That if anyone would defend me in this castle, that if anyone could talk sense into my brother it would be you!" I accuse.
"After all its your fault this is happening to me!" I snap hatefully.
For a moment she looks genuinely insulted at my words.
"I had nothing to do with this-" She tries to defend.
"No you had everything to do with it! If you had just done your job like any real Queen would have! My brother would have his heir by now! And I wouldn't be his only option for this travesty he calls a marriage!" I spit hatefully.
The moment my words seep into her I can see they hurt, they hurt her badly. But, I didn't care! I wanted to hurt her! To hurt anyone that wasn't against saving me from this farce of an idea!
"Get out. Just get out!" I scream reaching for the pitcher and throwing it as hard as I can against the wall. The metal making an awful clanging noise as water sprays all over the stone floor.
I watch as Stephanie swallows, no words coming to the surface as she makes her way silently towards the chamber door sealing it closed behind her.
I watch her leave and not a moment longer do the tears return as I sink to the floor pulling my knees to my chest as I cant hold back the sobs from bursting through my lips.
I hated them! I hated them all! And at the same time felt so lost at the idea of losing them all. James, Stephanie, Uncle Richard were all I had ever known.
They had been my shield to the brutality of this world, but no more.
They had abandoned me, and I felt more lost than I had ever felt before.
Lost, afraid, and broken.
The early morning hours had come and gone and all the while my misery remained just as constant as it had been. The sopped floor and the dinted pitcher a never wavering reminder of the temporary blindness my grief had caused me.
I just wanted it all to stop, all this misery. But it didn't if anything it seemed to expand the longer I kept myself locked away from the outside world.
But I didn't have the want to face them. The power hungry mob I called my family, I would stay shut away in this room forever if that's what it took.
If they wanted a bride for this Spanish prince they would have to drag me to the altar!
Just when a vivid image of that scenario really began to sink in a small tap at the balcony window caught my attention.
I turned towards the sealed doors only to see Nathans face peering out from behind the other side.
"Nate!" I whispered scrambling from my resting place on the stone floor towards the balcony clinking the locked bolt out of place allowing the blue eyed man of my dreams to slip inside.
Once over the threshold we embraced his clothing damp and smelling of a masculine musk. As if he had been sprinting all over the country side.
"What are you doing?" I ask pulling away only to shut the balcony doors behind him making sure to draw the curtains to conceal us from any wondering eyes that might be lurking about in the courtyard.
"You're a mess." I state looking at his mud covered boots and equally as messed clothing.
"Here," He replies handing me a wrinkled piece of parchment, the action revealing a large bag of leather strapped to his belt.
"What is that?" I ask the mass far to big to be anything casually carried.
"Gold, enough to buy a castle. I stole it from my fathers treasury." He replies uncaring of what he had just admitted.
"What are you doing with it?" I ask, what good would gold do in the situation the two of us found ourselves? He couldn't very well buy off the King of France. For all I knew that was same amount paid to Nathans father to break our engagement.
"I'm going to buy off a priest, in old murk town." He confessed with an almost relieved smirk.
"What?" I question. Murk town was the closest villages to the castle grounds only an hour or so ride with a good horse but would use could a priest possibly be in such a place?
"Lynne do you love me?" Nathan ask turning towards me while pressing the parchment in his hand a little tighter into his hold.
"Nate?" I begin unsure of what response he would like me to give seeing as he hadn't answered any of my own questions.
"Do you?" He asked again more persistently.
I breathe a moment staring up at him, confused at his antics but no less sure of what I had always known.
"Yes." I reply.
"Do you want to marry me?" He presses further.
"Of course I do! But I don't understand-" I began only to be silenced by a kiss. Its brief and leaves me dizzy but my pulse quickens and my eyes seal shut.
"Tonight when the castle sleep I'll ride into murk town. I already have a priest able to meet us at the inn outside of town." He confesses pulling back to cup my chin softly.
"Well say our vows before God, and no one. Not even a King can tear you away from me." He promises and I can tell he means every word.
"Nathan-" I whisper as he strokes his thumb across my pouted bottom lip as if debating to kiss me once more. I so deeply wish he would.
"Say you'll come. Say you'll go down to the stable steal a horse and meet me at the inn. Tonight." He orders.
I grasp his hand in my own squeezing it tightly. I'm afraid, but its nothing compared to the uncertain future I face if I decline.
Nathan was meant to be my husband, ten years couldn't have been for nothing. It was destined, it had to be. He wasn't royalty his family only held the titles my father had bestowed upon them but he was mine and I was his. It had to have been God's will to test the two of us the way he was.
I would see that we deserved his blessing. His union.
"I will. I swear." I vow kissing his palm before releasing it. I kiss him softly feeling as he coils his arms around me pulling me tighter against him.
"Go," I whisper breaking our kiss before I lose the will to fight against him.
"Before someone sees you." I justify.
Nathan obviously understands my concern as he pulls away. He kisses me once more just long enough to slip the parchment into my hand and then turns towards the balcony.
"Follow the instructions on the map, I'll be waiting." He smiles and I watch him disappear beyond the curtains and glass.
Leaving nothing behind but my heart pounding and my mind racing.
I sat on the cushioned seat of the stone window in the great hall staring outside towards the thick forest carpeting the ground on the southern side of the castle. Such a wonderful view, and one I desperately craved since fleeing my bed chambers.
The stone walls beginning to feel like they were suffocating me, it being the only reason I braved the castle. That and the vision of the forest just out of reach sawing on the horizon. I couldn't begin to count how many times I had explored those woods during my childhood.
The countless hours I had spent in the thick greenery with only the hum of the wind and the chirping of the birds to keep me company. It had always been such a special place for me.
While father locked James away for his usual lessons, and Anne was mentored and groomed to be the perfect substitute. I was left alone to explore the castle. I had taken that for granted, being the youngest I had never been groomed to rule the way my older siblings had.
The French line of succession was never suppose to be my burden. James was suppose to marry and have dozens of children with his new bride. While Anne was to marry a noble lord, or prince from some far off land as she had been taught all her life to do.
But that hadn't been God's plan. Instead it had been to leave Stephanie barren and Anne in an early grave.
As I sat here watching the sun begin to fade beneath the horizon I couldn't help but wonder. Was this part of his plan as well? Testing Nathan and I in such a way, were we always meant to defy our families wishes and wed in secret?
It sounded so romantic in my head, to flee into the night and marry the man I had adored all my life. Yet, my heart didn't feel the same. I was scared, uncertain.
Confused.
I laid my chin onto my knees which I held pressed tightly to my chest. What was my destiny? I was never meant to be a queen. I never wanted to be one.
Not after seeing the trials Stephanie had endured. I never wanted to be her, yet it seemed if I didn't take this last opportunity to escape. That is exactly what I would be become.
But was that the only reason I wanted to marry Nathan? No. It could be. I loved him, I always had. That was all the mattered, all that should matter.
"I haven't seen that look on your face in a long time." James's familiar voice carries through the hall as he emerges at my side.
"Since I forbade you from selling your prize mare for a unicorn." He smiled regaling me with the tale of the infamous unicorn incident when I was seven.
"Cant you all just leave me alone?" I whisper wrapping my arms around me knees tucking myself into such a tight ball I partially hoped I would disappear.
James sighs taking a seat beside me his handsome face tired as he stares off towards the woods that held my attention even now.
I wonder if his memories are as clear as mine beneath those green towers. As children James was always locked away in the study being mentored and groomed to rule, but after mother and father died. Things somehow changed.
He became more attentive towards me. He would join me in my exploits of the woods on more than one occasion. It was such a magical place for us both. The only place we could be the children the world seemed so adamant about changing.
But that was a lifetime ago. Before the weight of a kingdom truly fell on his shoulders and he became the man he was today.
"I don't blame you for being angry with me." He whispered.
"I might feel the same under different circumstance." He admitted laying back against the deep stone arch we both sat under. Pulling one leg to his chest while the other dangled beneath him.
A posture so lax you would never believe he held the title of a king.
I suppose at this moment he wasn't, right now. The way he spoke, the way he looked. I wasn't sitting with the King of France I was sitting next to James, my brother.
"You know I use to sit in this exact spot when me and mother had a tiff." He smirked more to himself than me his head laying back against the stone supporting us both.
"She'd come and try to make amends, almost the same as I'm doing now-" He began, even from here I could see his eyes ghosting over with images of the past.
Memories that he shared alone of the woman I didn't remember.
"I don't care." I snapped forcing him back to the present.
He stared over to me as I turned to face him. My lips tight and my eyes narrow with my anger boiling just beneath the surface.
"I don't care what mother use to do to make you feel better. I'm not you, and she's dead." I say coldly. Why coat the truth in a more softer voice? No amount of sweetness would change the ugly fact of the world.
But instead of act insulted or angry as I half expected him too. He only stared at me in that calm demeanor he always naturally had. Then after awhile, he found his words.
"You're right. She's gone. As is our father, as is our sister." He breathed.
"You and I are all that we have left." He said while taking a light intake of breath staring out towards the setting sun. The orange and red light seeping through the glass before us and shrouding us in its soft glow.
"I'm sorry Lynne." He whispered catching me off guard.
"This burden. It should have never fallen on you." He began in a tone that seemed even more impossibly mellow than I thought him capable of.
"You're life should have been carefree from the responsibilities of a ruler. You should have been able to marry someone for love, not diplomacy." He stated lowly.
"I wanted that for you. I tried my best to give it to you." He admitted.
"I use to think about it, for hours at a time. What would it be like on your wedding day? To escort you down the isle? Would I even make it through the ceremony without crying in front of the entire court?" He chuckled dryly.
"So you wont be attending my wedding in Spain then? A pity. I was so looking forward to it." I reply flatly. It was only expected we shouldn't dance around the real reason my brother suddenly decided to visit me today.
Word had obviously gotten back to him from my latest visit with Stephanie, no surprise she would run straight to his arms after my insult to her.
That gets his attention, as he turns to meet my gaze. The two of us locking eyes in a moment of silence before finally he breaks it.
"Evelyn. The decisions I make I know from where your standing must seem heartless. But that's not it. I only want what's best for you." He explained, but I didn't want to hear it.
"Nathan is what's best for me." I retort.
"I know it feels that way now. You're young. First love, it feels like the end of the world when its over. But its not, it's the beginning of something new, something exciting. You just have to be open minded enough to see it." He justified.
"Don't pretend like you have any idea what I'm going through! You don't know anything about losing your first love! You got to marry the woman you wanted! No one pushed the two of you together!" I shout angrily.
Stephanie wasn't even royal! The daughter of a German Duke, sent here to make a promising arrangement the same year James was crowed. Beyond lucky for her she had managed to catch my brothers eye of all candidates.
With my father being gone, and Uncle Richard no longer acting as regent no one could tell James otherwise. Which furthered my point, he knew nothing of the pain he was inflicting upon me!
"You're right. That was one blessing God gave me." James replied evenly.
"That, and a jewel incrusted crown." I mutter under my breath. How dare he act like he has no choice in the matter? He was forcing me to do this! All this was his doing! He was throwing me to the wolves and instead of call them off he was only baiting me further!
"Evelyn I don't make my decisions lightly. Everything I do isn't just for the good of my family, Its for something bigger, more precious." James started, his eyes filling with something deep. Something I couldn't remember seeing before.
"Its for the good of my country." He said.
"Do you honestly think I would be forcing you to marry a complete stranger if I wasn't totally confident it was the right thing to do?" He asked leaning forward so I could truly see the questioning in his eyes.
"How is abandoning me the right thing to do?" I shout a hot tear cutting its way down my cheek before I can stop it.
I claw it away angrily tearing my eyes away so he cant see the hurt building inside them. James was the only parent I had ever really known.
My memories of father were there but vague, a passing shadow in an otherwise cloudily memory. It had always been James. It had always been France!
Yet, he was tearing me away from it. From who I thought I would always be. If anyone would do such a thing I never would have thought it would be him.
"I know I hurt you. Even though you wont admit it." He said inching forward so to try and capture my gaze once more.
"But I want you to hear me when I say this." He whispered.
"I love you, more than anyone under God. There is nothing for you I wouldn't do." He states as confidentially as if he was giving confession in the pulpit.
I feel more tears form and I try to blink them away. I know he means it, which only makes his betrayal sting that much worse.
"Now if you don't believe me, then I wont make you marry anyone you don't chose." He vows and I turn to meet his gaze.
Confidant I can force myself to call his bluff if it meant escaping this awful reality! But the moment I see those dark olive shaped eyes. The same eyes that have watched over me since the very moment I came into this world. I cant make the words come to the surface.
"I've never asked anything of you. In all honesty, I've spoiled you because I never wanted you to feel the weight that comes with that 'jewel incrusted crown'." He smiled but there was no humor in his tone, it was an empty reaction and nothing more.
"But now I feel like I failed you. That I've sheltered you so much you don't really understand what it means to be royalty." He said.
"Its more than just getting whatever your heart desires. Its about being willing to sacrificing what you love most for something bigger than yourself." He tired to explain, and his words only made me want to question him further.
"And what are you sacrificing?" I ask accusingly.
He was king of all of France! If Stephanie didn't provide him an heir he could easily seek a woman who could. If he truly wanted he could have a child, but instead he let the weight of a crown I should have never had fall onto my head.
"You." He whispered.
My heart tightens in my chest as his eyes meet mine. I'm motionless as I watch him lean forward cupping the side of my face gently forcing me to stare into his eyes.
"You're the daughter I never had Lynne. The only one I'll ever have. This is an impossible decision I've put before you. But we both know you're an impossible girl. And I wouldn't have you any other way." He smiled and the tears I tried to hold back filled my eyes once more.
"I love you Evelyn." He whispers leaning forward to place a warm kiss at the center of my forehead.
I can feel he means it, I see it in his eyes. I feel it in his touch. James never had asked much of me. He had given me everything my heart ever desired, even when I didn't deserve it.
But he was wrong now! I deserved Nathan, I deserved the exact same thing he and Stephanie shared! If she had been his only selfish decision, then I was entitled to my own!
I wasn't strong enough to give him up. I loved my brother, my family. And I loved my country. But did I truly love them enough to give up the one thing I always remembered wanting?
"No matter what you chose, I'll stand by it." He promises, and then he pulls away leaving me with nothing but his words and an ache slowly building in my heart.
I don't know how long I sat there. Thinking of the future, of the past, of the very present. I still don't know if I'll make the right decision. But unthinking my fingers curl around the piece of parchment Nathan had delivered to me.
Its then I realize staring down at the scribbled writing and the meanings behind the vague message do I truly understand.
How something so small, so seemingly insignificant.
Could change the course of history itself.
Until next update. Catch anyone's attention yet? I hope so.