The Enigma of Radek Zelenka

"What cha' doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm eating and people watching."

"Oh…. Ohhhhhh. I see what's he up to?"

"Why do you always think I'm watching Dr. Zelenka?"

"Let me think a minute. Because you are."

"Shut up. And I'm not the only one, you're doing it too."

"Well yeah, of course."

"God he's hot."

"Hot would not be a word I would use. Hot would be Sheppard or one of the Marines. Now Sexy I would use."

"I can agree with that."

"It's the hair."

"Yeah… and the whole unshaven look works well for him."

"You know I wonder if he, Sheppard, and Dr. Beckett all share the same magic razor that does that."

"That's an interesting theory."

"Of course. I came up with it.

"The glasses; those 'Look over the edge' wire frames add an unknown variable to the equation."

"Equation? People watching has become math problem?"

"No, it's become an Olympic sport and guess who's going to win the gold this year."

"The Czech Republic?"

"Sold to the girl in the yellow shirt."

"The thing is, with the glasses—almost the entire science team wears glasses, and it's like the unspoken fashion statement."

"It is not how you wear the glasses; it is how the glasses wear you."

"That made no sense. What so ever."

"Yeah you're right, but you still laughed"

"The brain factors out any negative physical qualities."

"Too true."

"What you girls up too?"

"Hey my favorite gay man! Wassup!"

"Hey."

"Must I keep telling you that I'm bi? Sheesh. What are you two hooligans doing?"

"Hooligans?"

"People Watching."

"Fun. Can I join?"

"Sure"

"Okay straight female to bi man, why is Radek Zelenka soo...

"Sexy."

"Right sexy?"

"Hmmm… I'm guessing you guys cover the basics, hair, body, brains, face, right?"

"We covered the glasses."

"Ahh, but there is so much more to the face. The eyes, mouth, ears—hey! Stop drooling on my pants!"

"Ewww, please stop, it's unbecoming."

"All right I'll stop. So other than that, well what?"

"Well there is availability. Let's face it; there is a 12 to 1, male to female ratio here, unless you have some sugar momma on the main land. And then there's size. He's big enough to go out with most of the women, but small enough to fit well un—"

"Stop, stop, stop. We get the picture."

"I wish I could just cuddle him."

"I think you want to more than just cuddle him."

"Well yeah. Don't you."

"See me. See me not denying anything."

"Between him and Carson, purr… sheesh."

"Wouldn't be smexy if the two of them would go out?"

"Hell yeah."

"Smexy?"

"But where would it leave the rest of us?"

"I don't know. Plum out of luck?"

"Smexy?"

"Yeah, but anyone that isn't picky would love to be the third wheel."

"Sheesh, you have one dirty mind."

"Is 'smexy' even a word?"

"I guess, I don't know, nor care."

"Well I have I experiments that I must go check up on. I'll you guys later."

"See ya."

"Bye."

"He is way Smexy."

"Hell ya."

A/N: Craaaaccck Fic… Crackidy crack fic. Seriously. Okay yet another bunny that has been safely delivered into the world by yours truly. You have to blame Techie on this one. For it is yet another WPBA forum challenge.