Hello :D This is just a quick oneshot, inspiration suddenly hit me when I was studying. Just in case anyone was wondering, I did not abandon my Royal!Merlin fic. I'm just completely drowning in work and university things, but I will update, definitely.
Enjoy :D
"The King has sent for you."
Merlin groaned. He was exhausted, not even fully recovered from his latest secret encounter with a sorcerer bent on destroying Camelot, and buried with chores Arthur assigned him. Arthur might not know this, but it was a close call this time. Arten was a powerful sorcerer, his rage fuelled by the loss of his only child. It wasn't even Arthur's fault, the girl being executed for her feeble magical abilities years before, during Uther's reign. It took Arten a while to get over his mourning and finally he became fed up with the Druid's pacifistic policy.
Merlin felt bad for him, but he had little choice. Arten was a threat, and he wouldn't see reason. He made that perfectly clear and even though Merlin has managed to defeat him without much trouble in the end, he still gotten himself fairly badly injured due to a curse he didn't notice was in effect. He suspected Morgana provided Arten with that one, as it seemed too complicated for the sorcerer to cast. Every spell that hit Arten, hit Merlin as well, and there was nothing he could do about it. He just hoped Arten's death would end the curse, not make him go down as well.
And Arthur knew how terrible he felt. He knew Merlin was out cold for two whole days, even if he wasn't aware why. He was the first person Merlin saw when he woke up in Gaius's chambers, and the look of ecstatic relief on his King's face was enough to make up for all the pain.
Gaius made sure Arthur never got to see the fresh, bloody wound on Merlin's chest, and tried confining his ward to bed for at least a few more days, muttering on how he would never make him gather the herbs alone again, with the poor lad getting caught up in the sorcerer's revenge and all. Arthur only nodded, looking rather lost, and finally left.
"I'm not staying in bed that long" Merlin whined then, and the sound was pathetic even to his own ears.
"No, you're not" Gaius sighed. "I know you too well to expect that."
They exchanged slight smiles. Smiles that spoke tons of relief and fatherly love, and concern, and of everything that would be alright.
"Alright. I'm coming" Merlin sad to the guard who nodded and left. He took a deep breath, readying himself to stand up from the bench in the armoury where he was polishing the prat's sword. The wound was mostly healed, but it still stung. If only he could turn back time, he'd go along with Gaius and pretended to still be dying, just so he could spend the next few days sleeping. It seemed boring at the time so he made sure to get back to work as soon as he could stand.
Another wrong life choice, he mused. Arthur's list of chores was neverending.
It took him ages to reach the royal chambers and he entered without knocking. The King was sitting at his desk, reading some parchment with a crease in his brows, making him look very concentrated. Only his eyes weren't moving so he was just pretending to be reading. Or he could've possibly forgotten he was even holding the parchment, so deep in thought.
"Be careful" Merlin said, closing the door behind him and leaning on it for support. Arthur started and snapped his head up, and it wouldn't be the first time he managed to surprise his King. Only he never stayed this tense after he realized who it was that dared to disturb him. He would relax in the next few seconds and let a scowl grace his face and spout some insult. This time, he looked at Merlin as if he was a ghost. "You wouldn't want to hurt yourself with all that thinking."
"Merlin" he only said, finally breaking from his trance.
"I thought you sent for me?" Merlin asked, suddenly uneasy.
"Yes, of course I did. Come, sit."
Under Arthur's watchful eye, he tried to make his way to the desk without wincing. It went fairly good, even if the relief at finally sitting down was a bit too obvious on his face. Get a grip, he scolded himself, you've had worse.
"Is something wrong?" he asked with a frown. "You're scaring me a bit."
Arthur immediately looked away, frowning, and opened his mouth to say something, only not a word came out. Finally he sighed and looked as if he was mentally preparing himself for some really difficult and challenging task. Merlin waited patiently, but it was making him incredibly nervous.
"I-" Arthur cut himself off and it was getting frustrating.
"Did I do something wrong?" Merlin supplied. "Are you mad at me? Because you've been working me to the bone recently, and you hardly ever feel the need to do that, unless you're really mad at me. Not that I'm complaining- no, wait. I actually am. Because-"
"I know, Merlin" Arthur interrupted in a quiet voice, barely above whisper. His face was suddenly flushed and his eyes were panicked. "I know your secret."
Merlin could only stare at him with his mouth open for a long time. Then he felt a rush of terror and it was making him dizzy and thank God he was sitting. All colour left his face and he finally made the effort to zip his lips tightly, desperately hoping that the fact he was still alive meant something.
"I think I knew for a while" Arthur continued and Merlin couldn't help but think he looked really vulnerable. Was it stupid to be happy about being the one person in the world that was actually allowed to see a vulnerable Arthur? "I just- I wasn't ready to acknowledge it. It was frightening. I mean, I'm the King... Surely you understand why it would make things... difficult for me."
He nodded, because it seemed Arthur wouldn't go on without his assent. And while he felt chilled to the bone, like the ground has been swept away from his feet, and out of his depth, it seemed Arthur was too. He was every bit as afraid to have this conversation, as Merlin. It was strangely reassuring.
"It took me a while, Merlin, but I know now. I know what you've been hiding from me all this time, and I'm not even mad, because how could you not?" Arthur's voice was a bit shaky but determined at the same time. "I accept you whole, who you are."
And Merlin stared at him for a full minute, searching his eyes for any signs of deception. Having found none, he could feel his own eyes watering and even if he didn't trust his voice in the least at the moment, he spoke.
"Oh I'm so glad you know. I wanted to tell you, so many times!"
"Do you remember," Arthur started, letting the briefest of smiles grace his lips, "when we met, I said I could take you apart with one blow."
"And I said I could take you apart with less than that."
Arthur looked at him with what only could be called fondness. Merlin blinked, worrying he might just spontaneously combust from all the emotions.
"And it seems that was the truth. You're still an idiot, of course. But," Arthur stood up and went to put his hands on Merlin's shoulders, who struggled to stand as well. Arthur helped him, even though he didn't like the badly concealed pain behind the man's eyes. He didn't know what exactly happened, but it was obvious and for everyone to see, that Merlin was nowhere near as recovered as he tried to convince his friends. That was partly why he was assigned so many chores, so he'd finally give up the act and admit he wasn't feeling well enough to do them. Arthur should have guessed it wouldn't work, but he still needed time to think in peace, so he kept quiet.
After a short moment of hesitation, Arthur pulled him for a hug, careful not to hurt him, hoping to convey as much gratitude as he could without actually having to say it out loud. Merlin couldn't held back a huge grin as he buried his face in the King's shoulder. "You're so much more now. I wasn't lying, you know. I could take you apart with one blow, but all it takes to completely destroy me, is... you, leaving."
What?
"When I got word about the sorcerer roaming our western woods" Something sparked to life in Arthur's tone and Merlin found that deeply unsettling. What was going on, what the hell was the King going on about? "When I learnt you were sent there to gather herbs for Gaius... Merlin, you got hurt and I- for a moment, I thought I lost you. It was terrifying. And that was when I realized that it was hardly the first time, was it? You were always there for me, always looking out for me even if I insulted you and made you do all the work and I just couldn't understand why would anyone put up with that?"
Merlin felt a cold dread sink hard in his stomach as he realized what he was reading from Arthur's tone.
"But I know now."
Merlin closed his eyes, waiting for the blow, locked firmly in an embrace he had no way of escaping.
"And I love you too."
Oh crap.
