Change
By Eden/./Meho
"Master Riku," It came out more as a suggestive question than a call. Kairi gave the said teenager a teasing look with the accompanying smile he knew all too well. She playfully pushed him as her smile grew even wider. "Why did you leave out something that big!"
The two were in Yen Sid's tower as she playfully scolded the silver haired teen, not long after the event encountering Master Xehanort within the dream worlds. After showing courage countless times and saving Sora from succumbing to the Darkness, Riku was entitled as a Master. Much to his very own surprise.
Kairi was brought over to speak to Master Yen Sid of her use of the keyblade. Riku had mentioned that he theorized a princess of heart should be able to wield such a weapon, thus during the battle at the Organization's headquarters he proved his theory correct when handing her a keyblade of her own to assist in the fight. However, she doesn't seem able to call a keyblade.
Riku was clueless, oddly enough, why Yen Sid wanted to speak with her. Did he wanted to train her as well as Lea in the same matter he and Sora went through? If so, he wouldn't feel comfortable with Kairi on the front lines with the others. He knew very well that she can take care of herself. But she was also a very important piece to this upcoming war. If anything was to happen to her...
He didn't want to think about it.
Thus started the small conversation between the two now. The two were outside the old master's door, standing in what Riku would assume as a lobby. Yen Sid and King Mickey had business to speak of that they didn't want them to hear. However, Riku did hear something of "others" as he was leaving. He wondered why the secrecy but respected the Majesty's wishes. He always tried to be respectful to others.
Riku had rubbed the back of his head, somewhat flustered at her accusations. She was a little stronger than he remembered her to be as her push actually made his lose his footing. "It's not... that important?"
"Really, Riku?" Kairi placed her hands on her hips, her eyes gazing into his like a mother disappointed with her child. "You mean to tell me you didn't expect to become a master?"
Her question was met with silence. Riku broke eye contact with the redhead, and went from rubbing his head to scratching his cheek. A trait Kairi knows he does whenever he didn't want to admit something. In this case, she was surprised that he really thought he wouldn't succeed.
When Sora and Riku had left Destiny Island (yet again) she had no idea where they were headed, from the letter King Mickey had sent them she only knew as much as they did: that they were going to partake in the trials of Master hood. She didn't expect them to return any time soon- you know, to save the worlds yet again. So you could imagine her surprise only later that night did Riku- not Sora- return for her.
So here she is, soon to begin her training as a wielder of the keyblade alongside Lea and Sora had left yet again. It wasn't surprising, and the thought made her smile. As laid back as she remembered him to be, when it came to helping others Sora was the first one running to help with no hesitation. It's one of his traits that she liked about him. It's also what made him so different from Riku. Different, but the same.
"I just needed to know if I was really worthy of the keyblade." Kairi continued giving Riku that look; in response the silver haired teen shrugged giving her a small smile. "In the end I guess I am."
There were a seats by the room wall Riku gestured towards. The two taken their seats, sitting across from one another. She didn't respond right away, only watched him as he took his seat. Sora wasn't surprised and neither was Kairi when he succeeded. Was he the only one who really thought otherwise? Perhaps he put too much thought into it?
Kairi watched the teen across from her. It was obvious he was thinking about what she said, something he seemed to do a lot of lately- ever since returning from the islands. She knew things wouldn't be the same when they all returned, but Riku's thought process was entirely different from what it used to be. He seemed less… active. Whenever she would look into his eyes they weren't the same challenging eyes he'd have when they were younger. They weren't bursting with energy and overflowing with that sense of purity that she'd known him for. Now, they seemed tired, like a veteran returning from the fields of war. Or better yet, the eyes of a mature man, brimming with life and stories.
She smiled at the thought, and propped her elbow on the arm of the chair before resting her chin in the palm of her hand. The course of movement caught Riku's eyes, which in turn made him notice the silence between them. He readjusted himself in his seat, leaning forward as if preparing to engage in a conversation. Kairi chuckled at the boy.
"You've changed, Riku." She spoke softly. Her words were carried so gentle, it could have been interpreted as sympathetic. Riku didn't say anything, unsure of how to respond to something like that. It wasn't exactly random, but it wasn't something he thought she'd bring up so abruptly.
He leaned back into his seat, chuckling to himself to alleviate his nerves. A heart to heart talk with the girl wasn't exactly something he had planned for the day. But then again, with everything that happened earlier in the dream worlds he should start expecting the unexpected.
"Not for the worse I hope," he spoke lightly, smiling which in turn made Kairi broaden her smile.
"No. No, you're just…" she rubbed her thumbs across her fingers, searching for the right words she wanted to use. "…quiet nowadays."
That actually made Riku laughed which caused Kairi's cheeks to flush a light pink. "Quiet?" he echoed, his brows rose in amusement. "Okay I'll bite, how am I "quiet"?"
Kairi pouted at his response how he turned her statement into something else. It made her feel that perhaps her assumptions were wrong. That was definitely a Riku thing to do. She huffed, pulling her head from the palm of her hand before retorting. "Well, I mean comparing yourself from when we were younger to yourself now- there's a huge difference." She then spoke more quietly, "At least, that's what I noticed..."
"That's what they call growing up, you know." Is what popped into Riku's head as soon as she finished speaking- but he held his tongue. He could hear the uncertainty in her voice on that last bit and he knew his jab earlier was most likely the cause of it. Guilt started to sink in, as it always did when it came to Kairi. He always had a soft spot for the redhead. It was one thing to tease Sora, he always had something to shoot back. Kairi wasn't exactly the feisty one either.
"But for example, back then you were always the first to come up with something to do." She continued on, moderately surprising him. "You were like… the leader of our little group. You always found something fun for us to do. Racing, exploring the play island, or even building a raft?" Riku could feel the jab just from looking at her lips upturn into the smallest of smirks. "I think that was your biggest shot in the dark idea yet."
Riku rose a hand, cutting her off. "In my defense… I had you two backing me up."
"Hah!" Kairi laughed, falling back in her seat. "You did not just say that."
"Oh, but I think I did."
She scoffed at him, shaking her head in mock disbelief. She and Sora had never exactly declined any of Riku's ideas when growing up so she couldn't exactly say he was out of line. At the same time, he was bogus for using that against her.
"Back to the subject at hand…" she said, raising her voice to clarify her point. "… comparing that Riku to the one in front of me, you don't take charge. For once it's you who's lazing away and Sora craving for adventure. It's as if you and Sora switched places."
Riku didn't say anything right away, all jokes aside she was being serious. From her point of view, he too would be concerned about his friend from a change of character like that. Sora wasn't the type to talk about it, he accepted Riku for who he was changed or not. Not that it was bad thing, but as Kairi saw him for who he was, she would still want to know more. Riku smiled inside. Sora and Kairi were practically the same person but with different agendas.
"I'm not sure if I should take offence to that or not." He joked, giving her his trademark smirk. Kairi pouted, clearly not amused. He knew she was serious about the conversation, and wanted a precise answer. So he gave her one.
"Yeah, I have." He was different from the him before… everything. He remembered being confident; knowing how it felt to be the best on the islands. He had always known he was different from others in one way or another. Rather it would be in grades, or sports, he always excelled. Perhaps it was because of his confidence that morphed him into being arrogant.
Or rather he was always arrogant but feigned innocence. He had always attempted to impress Kairi in any way possible—the easiest by proving how much better he was than Sora. Even after the destruction of their world, he sought her affection. And what better way to have a princess fall for you than to save her own heart? At least, that's what the black witch Maleficent had convinced him.
In all honesty, he knew what he was getting into when he delved into the darkness. How dangerous it could easily consume your heart. He was just confident he could control the darkness. Use the darkness to save Kairi, save the worlds, and to protect the things that matter. That was all that mattered. There wasn't anything he struggled in before, why should that worry him? And of course, it was his pride that was the backdoor to his heart.
The power he sought to save his friends became the power used against them. For that he could never forgive himself. It was worse when he was possessed. To be manipulated for another's man purposes was more than mortifying, and to transform into a monster with willing intent to kill your best friend is unspeakable. After all the pain Riku had caused, the absolute least he could do was help the true hero of this story seal the door to darkness.
To continue helping the true hero is all he should do. The last year he spent had taught him that much. He was abdicated from the light, but refuses to dwell in the darkness. He had learned exactly what he was brought into now, and wanted no part of it. But he couldn't, not while he friend slept. He would continue to fight the darkness, and the light for him. For all that he was worth, he would protect his friend for everything he did.
He would tell himself that everything would be okay if he could at least do that. But in the back of his mind there was that gnawing thought that told him otherwise. That he didn't deserve to reside besides his friends. That what he has done was unforgivable. And when he faced Roxas- he knew that there was no going back. If he wanted to save his friend he would have to dwell in the darkness. To use his full strength, he would have to convert his identity; to become the very same man who took everything from him. It's the least he could do.
As Riku reminisced, he believed that was the point in time that he had changed. He remembered his mental state, willing to give away his future of ever living the same to save his friend, and to make things right. He didn't have a right to say otherwise from everything he's done. It was the hardest- yet easiest decision he'd made. Then not too long after that he was able to wield a Keyblade. Albeit a keyblade of darkness, but a keyblade nonetheless.
Did he deserve one? That is still debatable. Until the day comes when he loses its power, Riku would use the blade's strength to help his friends. Even after passing the Mark of Mastery, Riku didn't feel any sort of accomplishment, nothing had truly changed. He still uses the power of darkness, wields a keyblade created from darkness, and still feels unworthy. Sora had been using a keyblade much longer than he has, and is much more versatile with his techniques; if anything Sora was the ideal master.
He had spoken to the King about it, yet he and Sora had no doubt in their minds he'd pass the test. Now Kairi, despite everything she's been through, she wasn't surprised in the slightest that he had passed—but hurt that he did not tell her… which brings his thoughts full circle.
"I've learned a lot since then," he continued after much thought. It wasn't a lie, he had been through a lot, and had to grow up much faster than any fifteen-year-old would. Her eyes never left his gaze, listening with care. Despite how casual he spoke; she could sense the weight on his words. "Especially about myself."
"I'm definitely not as arrogant as I was then," Hearing a giggle slip from her lips was more than enough to make him laugh along with her. "Perhaps I lost my confidence with that as well."
Kairi shook her head in disagreement. Her smile faltered by his words but still broadcasted. "I didn't mean you lost confidence in yourself when I said you've changed." She spoke slowly, bringing a hand to her chin as she searched for the right words. She always spoke with her heart, even if the words aren't there at the moment. "…Humble, is what you are now."
Humble.
The way she delivered the word made his heart flickered. His eyes widened at the suggestion—no. It wasn't a suggestion, but something she truly believed. A verdict. How she looked at him told him he didn't have a say in the matter.
Definitely not the first word he'd think of to describe himself. So, after the initial shock he chuckled. "Maybe."
Kairi huffed, not pleased with his answer but didn't say otherwise. This was as close to a yes as she was going to get with him. But at the same time, proving her point; making her smile all the more. "Don't worry, I'll be changing too Riku."
She said, raising a fist up while placing a hand on her flexing muscle. Determination sparkled in her eyes accompanied with a rivalrous smirk. "I'll be catching up to you soon enough!"
A toothy remark was at the tip of his tongue, but he held his breath. The similarities between her and Sora was surreal. She was serious more than she was showing, and he knew it. The Kairi he grew up with was not the same Kairi sitting in front of him. No longer will she sit behind while he and Sora partake in this fight. She was never really a princess at heart, but an adventurer. In the long run, he mused, they both had changed.
Riku casted her a knowing smirk. "I look forward to it."
Note:
Fun fact: this started out as a shipping of Riku admitting his crush to Kairi, but deemed it too fluffy. So I turned it a conversation I can really see the two have. (There's not much we know about Kairi so I did the best I could.)
