Pairings:

Steve and Pony

Two-bit and soda

I do plan on putting Darry in a relationship but i have yet to figure out with who.

This story is going to be around 10-20 chapters. It will contain graphic scenes so if it upsets you please don't read.

Note: This is a continued version of the outsiders. Where Dally, and Johnny are both dead and Pony and the gang are having to cope with the trauma. And pony develops a crush in the midst of the process.

Chapter 1 part 1:

1.1

Pony's pov:

My mother always told me about love. I always knew it was a feeling, but it's so much you more. It's an ache, it hurts to not be by them, it drives you crazy, but at the same time it isn't bad because you like having them on your mind. I know this because I am in love. I am in love with the only person I will never be able to have. Steve Randel, has my heart, but he will never take it for know he would never want it.

"Pony baby if you don't finish getting ready for school you're going to be late." Soda said to me. His voice soft and kind because of the nightmare i had last night. Apparently it had been bad, because when i finally noticed my surroundings, Soda, Darry, Two-bit, and Steve had all gathered in my room to see what all the fuss was about. I do remember Darry having to force my pill into my mouth because I just didn't want to go back to sleep. I had kicked and fought to get away from Soda, who had been holding me down. And resorted to pleading with them because I didn't want to go back to sleep. I cried after they managed to get the medication in me, and kept it up until it took affect and drug me back down into the dark.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll wear what I have on."

"Um.. Pony?" Soda's voice now timid.

"Yeah?" Annoyance evident in my voice. Why did Soda need to be like this? It was just a bad dream I will be fine.

"You're wearing pajamas."

"Oh Yeah" Wow good one pony. I'm just going to make him worry more. Realizing my mistake I got up to get ready.

"Baby maybe you should stay home today."

"No!" now angry at my brother, I had to get my point across. "Jesus Soda it was just a bad dream. Will you stop this shit already? I've dealt with them before, and i'll do it again. Got it?!"

"Pony, baby you know I didn't mean anything by it. I'm just worried bout you is all."

I'm fucking 16 and he still feels the need to baby me. Damn this is bullshit. "Look i'm going to walk to school today." I said after I finished putting on my clothes. "So see ya"

"Pony let Two-buit drive ya, at least."

"No i'd rather not see any of them for a while anyways."

As if reading my mind Soda chimed in "Baby they don't think any less of you."

I scoffed and headed out

But of course there was no way I could have the luck and avoid the entire gang downstairs. "Hey pone," Two-bit said "How you feeling?"

I chose to ignore him

"Hey pony," Then there was Darry "Are you feeling okay?"

I'm going to ignore him to.

"Ponyboy curtis, I asked you a question. I would like to get an answer back."

And now he's angry. Right?

"Pony!"

I'm gonna still ignore him.

If they knew how I felt after those dreams they would't ask. The confusion, because I can't remember them, the scared feeling that I can't give an explanation to because there is nothing there, and just the aggravation of it all. Why me? Why those dreams? Why can't i remember? Just why

"I'm walking to school this morning."

And then i'm gone, listening as Darry's voice is becoming less and less prominent. I'm gone rather quickly, but there is no pint in running because there is no way anyone would follow me right now. Right?

Wrong

Here comes Two-bit and Steve in the car next to me. "Come on kid, get in the car." Steve yelled

"No"
"Get in."

"I don't want to." But the conversation doesn't go on, because my voice is soft, scared, and vulnerable. Instead Steve got out and put me in the car. Undermining my screams of protest "Look kid" He said while placing me in the back "We don't think any less of ya, You just scared us last night is all, and we wanted to make sure you were okay. Ya dig? We won't ask about it if it upsets you. okay?"

"Yeah okay."

The ride is silent from here to the school

"I don't feel like doing anything today." Two-bit said "What about you steve?"

"I'm up for going to Buck's."

"What about you pone?" Steve asked

"I don't know what i want." It wasn't a lie. I've been confused since last night, and i really need to get my head working again. And till then i wouldn't be okay at school. "Yeah i'm up for ditching."

"Yeah!" Two-bit cheered as he sped away.

Steves pov:

Glory that kid scared all of us something awful last night. He screamed and I swear the whole neighborhood hurd. He would beg and scream an imaginary force to stop hurting him, he'd scream for soda, Darry, dally, two-bit, johnny, and the biggest shocker he called out for me. Beggin for help from something none of us could see. I swear to ya the kid flipped out.

So now all of us are being nice to him. Well I guess the only one who had to change was me. So this is going to be a long week. That's about how long i need to be nice, right? Hopefully this will blow over quickly.

"Where are we going?"

Great the kid decided to talk. Fantastic

"Were do you want to go?" Two-bit chimed in

"i'm sleepy. can you just drop me off at the house?"

"Sure kid, want us to stick around?"

"Nah, i'll be fine on my own. Besides Darry gets off early."

"Glory kid why didn't you tell us that. Superman will kill us."

"No, he wont. They wanted me to stay home anyway. They always treat me like a baby afterwards."

Well you are a baby. Can't even sleep by yourself. I thought bitterly.

"Thanks for the ride." Pony said while getting out of the car and heading inside.

After leaving the house two-bit and i rode in an awkward silence. He kept glancing my way and i haven't failed in taking notice.

'What do you want?"

He sighed "Cut the kid some slack will ya. I don't know what he ever did to ya but its enough. He's scared, Dally, and Johnny's death really took a tole on him, and these nightmares really work him up. He don't remember em, and that scares him. He wakes up and doesn't understand why he's so scared. And last time we were all there. You seen it yourself Steve."

I scoffed but said nothing else. He was right, as much as I hated to admit it. So maybe just maybe if the kid keeps from getting on my nerves I will try to treat him better.

Chapter 1 part 2:

1.2

Darry always told me to never give up, to always try. Now when he said that it was never about a sport or anything other than school. Now when he says it he means on life. Everyone thinks that I will just end it. Which is because of that therapist. He told then that its normal, for someone who went through the things I did, to harm or even kill themselves. The way everyone looked at me changed completely. Everyone treated me like a broken mirror. That if they left me alone I wouldn't break any further, and when I was needed they touched me gently. I was a broken mirror, who at some point used enough glue on myself to make myself seem fixed to everyone else.

Darry arrived home right on time. I had already made lunch and was sitting down to eat it when he walked in.

"Pony? " he said alarmed giving me an odd look.

"I just didn't feel like going today Dar."

Looking me up and down he assured me that it was okay that I hadn't went to school because he had prefered that I took some time off. I don't know what everyone expects to happen. Maybe if I had some time off i will forget about everything that happened. That isn't likely. Everything i had witnessed I will never forget. I get that he was worried about me, but Darry was always on me about school, and keeping my grades up. He always pushed me, but now everyone was scared they would push me to far.

I have been pushed to far. This is what everyone is left with.

Lunch was rather quit. With Darry only telling me Soda was working overtime and wouldn't be home till late. He seemed awfully nervous compared to how he usually is.

"Darry what's eatin at you? "

"Pony, I made a call today."

"Over? "

"You."

Sickeningly it occurred to me. Darry had called my doctor to tell him about the things going on. He had mentioned the nightmares, trouble sleeping, and my loss of appetite. I had just managed to get out of going and now they were sending me back.

"How could you?"

"Pony it's for the best."

"No it's not!" I paced around, "How could it be for the best? All there going to do is give me more medicine, and make me talk to a therapist"

"Pony you need to try and get better."

"What Darry? Is there something wrong with me?"

"Pony, please"

"Please nothing. I can't believe you would do sometin like that."

He tried to walk to me but every step he took forward I took one back. "Don't get near me. Ya hear?"

"Pony"

He was treating me so fragile. I knew he though to was going to run, and it does sound like a good idea. Not run away but to get out of the house, so I turned tail and ran. Right out the front door paying absolutely no mind to Darry's yelling.

I can't believe he would do this. Did soda know? Had they talked it over? I Don't need help. So what i watched two friends die, what pills going to help?

I will not stop running till I get out of here.

Steve's pov:

I considered what Two-bit had said to me about pone. To lighten up on him. But everyone is light on the kid. I remember the first time I got my ass kicked by some socs the gang had babied me except Soda. He had told me it was my fault fir screwing around with some broad that just so happened to be dating one of those socs. And i had needed that, I felt like a child with all the fussing going on. And i'm sure Pony feels the same way.

"Hey, Steve get your head out of ya ass. Once we finish this car we get to head home."

"Okay Soda."

"Something wrong Steve?"

"Just thinkin."

We left the DX about 15 minutes later and we headed straight for the Curtis resident.

"Hey thats Bucks car."

"well i wonder what he's doin at your house."

"Lets see."

We went in to not only find Buck, but Tim, and Curly."

"What's going on guys?"

"Soda Pony ran away."