~*Forgotten Tears*~
Silence, complete silence. The room was so quiet that the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner sounded like gunshots echoing off the walls and ceiling of the elaborate yet simple dining area. Only weeks earlier this would have been quite normal for the dining room of the Smith mansion, but now Roger found the silence terribly nerve-racking.
He glanced up the only other occupant at the table. Dorothy's eyes were fixed straight ahead in her empty stare as she "drank" from the glass of wine. She hadn't said a word the entire meal. She had simply "eaten" her meal with her eyes fixed in the same position, directly on him. If she were human, he would have assumed that she was simply daydreaming or was lost in some deep thought, but he knew better than that. She wasn't human, and had no need for those type things. Because of her stare, he in turn had forced himself to keep his eyes averted toward the contents of his plate. Every time he had so much as glanced up he had found himself stuck in that artificial gaze of hers.
Normally she would be asking him questions about love or human nature. Most of the time he had no answer to these questions, but that really didn't matter. Otherwise she would be making sarcastic comments about his taste or habits. But tonight it was totally different. Neither question nor comment had crossed the threshold of her artificial lips. Although, those things drove him insane, he'd prefer nonstop comment and questioning over the silence that now seem to have intoxicated the room. Dorothy had never been all that talkative, but this was even unusual for her.
When he finally decided to speak up it almost sounded like he'd shattered the glass atmosphere.
"Dorothy? You alive over there?"
It was almost an ironic question considering the fact that she was a robot and therefore had never truly been alive to begin with.
The question gained no immediate response from the android. She continued to stare at him unblinkingly for a moment. Finally something seemed to click in her mechanical mind and she came out of her silent reverie to speak.
"Roger, can I ask you a question?"
Unsurprisingly she had ignored his earlier comment.
"Sure, shoot me, but there is no guarantee that I will be able to answer it."
Dorothy nodded her understanding, and than preceded to ask her question in her monotone voice.
"Do you think if I were more human that a person would be able to love me?"
Roger quirked an eyebrow at her and let out a half-hearted laugh. For some reason he found these questions of hers ridiculous, yet at the same time embarrassing. He turned away and coughed in an attempt to hide the slight blood rush in his cheeks. He wasn't quite sure why he was blushing; it wasn't like her cared all that much about Dorothy's love life. It wasn't like he was attracted to her, was he?
Dorothy was still staring expectantly at him when he finally composed himself and looked back at her. She was waiting for answer; he'd have to give her one. Finally he cleared his throat to respond.
"Dorothy, you're an android, you're already as human as you can be, you can't become anymore human. Can't you understand that imitating doesn't make you anymore human than it would make a talking parrot human?"
During his short speech Dorothy's stare hadn't wavered, but when he stopped talking, turned to him and said a polite good night and fled out of the room. Once again Roger Smith was left in silence.
That's odd he thought. He reminded her that she was an android probably hundreds of times already and it had never seemed to bother her before. Which made her reaction even odder, since she wasn't supposed to have emotions anyway. He hadn't said anything but the truth hadn't he?
Not realizing that he had been talking to himself out loud, he almost jumped when he got an answer to his rhetorical question.
"I believe you've upset Miss Dorothy, Master Roger. I suggest that you apologize."
"Norman, she's an android, she doesn't have any feelings to hurt."
"Well, maybe you've upset her programming than, apologize anyway."
"Norman…" he said irritably.
"Yes, Master Roger."
"Huh, oh nothing."
With that Roger grudgingly left the room. I'm beginning to think Norman likes Dorothy more than me, I bet he never tells Dorothy to apologize, he murmured to himself as he left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dorothy sat on the edge of her rarely used bed. Once again she was staring into nothingness as her mechanical mind grounds thoughts through her head. Maybe Roger was right; maybe she was really no more human, than any other non-living object.
If she was human shouldn't she be crying right now and wallowing in her own sorrow? If she were human her face would be streaked with tears as she moaned into a pillow. If she were human she wouldn't be sitting here staring into nothingness like she was doing now. At least this is what some bit of implanted memory told her.
May be really was right, maybe these feelings for him were artificial. May she really didn't feel the emotion that humans called love. Could she truly be so lifeless? No that couldn't be right. If her love were artificial, why would she have become so upset? Of course maybe her sadness of artificial too. There was another possibility also. Maybe he just wasn't at all attracted to her and used the fact that she was an android as an excuse because he didn't' want to tell her the truth.
Did that mean he loved someone else? She 'd never seen him with any other women, except for… As the thought came to mind she grimaced and shook her head. No, he couldn't love that Angel woman. And she (Angel) definitely didn't love him. Of course, you could be attracted to someone and not love him or her. Another implanted memory came to mind, and a more likely thought formed in her mind. Was it possibly that he lusted Angel and that is why he didn't like her?
Her memories told her that lust was a physically desire for another person's, usually of the opposite sex, body. Considering the way Angel dressed and moved, it was not all that improbably that this could cause Roger to lust her. Suddenly a bizarre thought came to mind. Could she make Roger lust her? True that wasn't the type of attention she wanted from him, but her memories also told her sometimes lust could turn to emotional attraction or even love. There was only one way to find out.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Roger shifted his feet uncomfortably as he stood in front of the door to Dorothy's room. He'd never apologized to anyone in his life, what was possessing him now to apologize to this android whom he hadn't even really know that long. Why should he even feel the need to apologize to this machine, that is all she was, wasn't it? Norman seemed to like Dorothy a lot. Maybe it was just rubbing off on him.
After a few moments of contemplation Roger finally knocked the door. There was no response. He knocked again, no response. He knocked a third time, still no response. Maybe she hadn't gone to her room after all. I guess I don't have to apologize after all, he thought to himself.
Just as he was about to turn and leave, he heard a slight noise. Maybe Dorothy was in there. Maybe something was wrong and that was why she wasn't answering. This sent his heart and mind racing. What could possibly have happened to Dorothy that would incapacitate her ability to open the door. Could she have been harmed, or kidnapped again? Then another more logical thought hit him on the head. She probably just wasn't answering the door because she didn't want him in there, but he'd have to make sure anyway.
"Dorothy, I'm coming in." he called before gently opening the door.
When he looked around the door into the room, he found Dorothy sitting on the edge of her bed. She had the same emotionless glare on her face as at dinner, but this time she was simply staring at the wall instead of at him. Seeing that she was fine, he began to close the door, but stopped when he heard Dorothy speak.
"Roger, please come in"
So, maybe Dorothy wasn't all that upset, as Norman put it, after all. He opened the door fully and entered the room and began to walk over towards her. She was now looking at him, and her expression seemed to have an odd look to it. Maybe something was bothering her.
"So, uh, Dorothy is there something that you wanted to talk about?"
"No, just sit here next to me."
Now, that was definitely an odd response coming from Dorothy. He'd expected to her to ask him another one of those annoying questions of hers. This peaked his curiosity and he did as Dorothy had requested. After he had sat down, Dorothy continued to look at him with an odd look. Now that he really looked back at her, he found her expression to look almost as if she was contemplating something. Maybe she just wanted to talk after all. He was about to ask her what was on her mind, when she turned her face away, stood up and walked in front of him. This made Roger even more curious. Dorothy was definitely behaving weird, even for an android. What on earth could she be up to?
She was staring at him again, but this time he stared back unflinchingly. He wanted to know what it was Dorothy was doing.
She continued to stand there staring at him for a moment longer, and then she did something that caused Roger's jaw to drop and mind to go completely blank. He could no longer register a coherent thought.
Dorothy just…this can't be real…what's going on…maybe I shouldn't have…
Roger could not believe what he was looking at. Dorothy had just removed her dress in the blink of an eye. Just like that, one moment it had been on her, the next she was standing there in her undergarments. Was Dorothy trying to seduce him?
His mind slowly came back to reality, although his eyes stayed glued to their new position. He tried to say something. He wanted to tell her to stop this, to put her dress back on, or at least tell her that he should leave. He's lips weren't listening to his brain though, and he ended up saying something totally different from his mind was telling him to say.
"I'm glad to see that you follow all the rules, Dorothy, I definitely approve of your choice of under wear.," he said with what he knew must have been a combination between a grin and gawking.
Dorothy walked closer to him, so that he was staring directly at her black clad breasts. Dorothy may only be an android, but she was definitely woman enough to make his body excited. Once again his mind began to swirl, and he was no longer sure if he was really there with the scantily glad android or simply have some sort of exotic dream about her.
He could feel Dorothy undoing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. His mind was screaming for her to tell her to stop, that this wasn't right. But at the same time something else was telling him that he was actually enjoying this kind of attention from Dorothy.
Sometime during this dreamlike occurrence Roger must have closed his eyes, because when he looked up he found Dorothy's face inches away from his. His body had moved against his will and he was now lying on the bed, Dorothy on top of him, his hands cupping her face. Her eyes were still staring at him, but something seemed changed. He suddenly felt that need to ask her what was wrong, why was she doing this, but instead he closed his eyes and drew her face towards his.
His mouth awaited contact but it never came and once more he opened his eyes. Dorothy mouthed the words "I'm sorry" and for the first time the entire evening she closed her eyes and then jerked suddenly away from him.
Roger just lied there for a moment, his mind in partial shock from the strange ordeal. He looked down at his hands; slightly ashamed at the way he had reacted to Dorothy's actions. He noticed a drop of liquid on his one of his fingertips that had been holding Dorothy's face. Had Dorothy started to cry?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dorothy ran as fast as she could out of the mansion. Her hair was a mess and her dress was rumpled and crooked. In her haste to get away, she had not taken the time to redress herself properly. She felt so ashamed. It was a new feeling for her. She had never regretted anything that she had done before since that day she had been activated. But now she felt like she had done something unforgivable.
She could feel moisture on her cheeks. She was crying. How was that even possible? She wasn't supposed to be able to cry she was an android. She had not been programmed to have this much emotion; at least that is what she had thought up until now. Was it possibly that this new emotion of hers had triggered the tears of shame.
Finally, when she had been running for nearly a half of an hour, she turned into a nearby alley and sat down on an old empty crate. She buried her face in her hands and continued to cry. Roger surely had absolutely no respect for her now and he definitely didn't love her now either. He probably hated her and would never let her return to his household; not that she would try to go back anyway. As the tears continued to flow down her cheeks, it began to drizzle, and she felt like even the sky was weeping in shame for her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dumbfounded at all that had just happened, Roger continued to lie on the bed in the darkened room staring at the drop of water on his finger. His tie had been discarded to the floor and his shirt lay open. Besides, that though he was still pretty much dressed. He analyzed the tear as if it were some sort of rare precious gem, before letting it roll down the length of his finger and wiped it on the bed. Something in his mind pinged a sigh of regret as he did this, wishing he'd kept the tear a little longer.
The thought only lasted for a second though, as he began to wonder where Dorothy had gone too. Her dress and shoes weren't on the floor where they had been before, which at least meant she hadn't been too upset to redress herself. Which remind him of the fact that he too needed to redress himself properly.
After a few moments, he was once again dressed and he left the room to look for Dorothy. He expected to find her on her balcony perch, but she wasn't there. Maybe she just needed to be alone after what had just happened. He probably needed some time alone himself. He had a lot to think about right now. If she didn't come back tonight, he'd look for her tomorrow.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A few blocks away, Dorothy was still sitting in on the crate in the same position. She managed to get the tears to stop and she was once again staring emotionlessly ahead. The rain had also stopped but the sky was beginning to darken and it was cooling rapidly, but this didn't affect Dorothy. She had no where to go right now, so she would just sit here. Maybe she would sit her until she broke down, nothing mattered anymore.
What had she been thinking, make Roger lust her so that he would love her? There must have been something wrong with her programming, maybe she wasn't as perfect a being as she had once thought herself to be. She'd done what she had planned, Roger had reacted just as she'd expected, but she hadn't. The way he had looked at her right before they were about to kiss had hit something in the back of her mind. He'd looked so dazed and almost surprised about then, as if he hadn't been expecting her to be there. It had made her realize that she shouldn't have been in that position, that she shouldn't have even tried this foolish idea in the first place. She should have been content just to live with Roger and be able to talk with and see him as just a friend, but she had been selfish and wanted more, something she felt she no longer even deserved.
These type thoughts continued to sift through Dorothy's mind as the sky turned to midnight black and then back to blue. The closer that it got to morning the more worthless Dorothy felt, the more unworthy she felt, and the more useless she felt. Finally, her thoughts simply ceased completely as she just sat there; body stiff and eyes emotionless, not even bothering to continue her artificial heart beat and breathing. She felt as lifeless and inhuman as she now looked.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Roger yawned, and looked at the clock, it was past one in the afternoon. This was the latest he'd woken in up in a very long time and after a moment he realized it was because Dorothy wasn't out there banging on the piano, hmm, she must of finally decided to let him sleep. He moaned a little as he realized that his head hurt. As he stepped out of bed, he almost tripped over an empty bottle on the floor. No wonder his head hurt, he must have drunken a lot last night, he couldn't remember why for the life of him though. He saw a figure out of the corner or his eye, and he at first thought it to be Dorothy, but it was only Norman.
"Master Roger, your breakfast is ready. It is waiting for you in the dining hall."
"Thanks, Norman, but I'm not very hungry, do you know where Miss Dorothy is?"
Norman gave him sort of a strange look. "Sir, don't you remember what happened yesterday?"
"Actually Norman, I don't remember a thing from yesterday, what happened, what does that have to do with Dorothy anyway?"
"All right then sir, I guess you really don't remember. Yesterday around 8 o'clock I noticed Dorothy leaving the house in a disheveled hurry. I went to ask you where she was going and I found you out on the balcony deep in thought. I wasn't going to disturb you, but then you turned around and asked me if I thought Dorothy was in love with you, and I replied yes. You than preceded to curse yourself for not noticing, and you proceeded to drink quite profusely until about 11 when you fell sleep."
"Thanks Norman, I think I'm starting to remember, you can stop now."
Roger than grabbed his coat and turned to leave.
"Uh, sir, if I you don't mind my asking, where are you going?"
"I'm going to go find Dorothy, hopefully I won't be gone long."
"I'll have dinner ready at the usual, time I do hope Dorothy will be joining us."
As Norman watched Roger's fleeting figure, he couldn't help but chuckle to himself. Those two really are meant for each other, and even if Roger doesn't admit it, no man gets worried about a woman like that much unless he's in love with her. After this thought was completed Norman turned to put away Roger's untouched breakfast.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Roger slowly drove the car through the narrow streets. It wasn't like Dorothy to run off like this. He must have really done something wrong last night. He remembered everything that Norman had told him so it must have been before 8'clock, what was it. What had happened last night? No matter what, he couldn't remember anything of the night before that might have caused Dorothy to run out like that.
He glanced down the alleys on either side of him. Dorothy was probably somewhere around here. She didn't usually go by places where people were and this area of town was fairly deserted. Something caught his as he passed another alley and he backed up. Was that... yes that was her. He stopped the car and got out.
When he reached Dorothy, he barely recognized her. Her dress and hair were disheveled. It must have rained last night because her face was looked like there was water on it. Her eyes were open, but it appeared that she hadn't noticed his presence yet. He squatted down in front of her still form, she looked totally lifeless, but she was an android after all. Still, the thought of her dying sent a pang of sadness to his heart. She still had responded to his presence and he just looked at her and brushed a wet strand of her off her face. Still no response, was it possible that she was no longer functioning?
He called her name gently, but still no response was achieved. Then he started to panic what if she really had shut down. This thought, made his heart fall, and a tear came to his eye. There was so much he now felt he should have told her. He began to speak softly to the fallen android.
"Dorothy, I'm sorry, whatever it is that I did must have been horrible. It's my fault that you're sitting here like this now. I should have realized sooner how you felt. I was so pig-headed about that fact that you weren't human. I now realize that those things I side to you about you only being able to imitate were only ways of me denying how I really felt about you. Dorothy…I'm so sorry for whatever I've done, I never would have told you this before, but I loved you R. Dorothy Waynewright, I'll never forget you.
He than turned to leave. Even though there was no one there to see, he put on his sunglasses to hide the tears welling in his eyes.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dorothy's thought processes had stopped during the course of the night, but when Roger had called her name, she had slowly come back to awareness. She was slightly confused as to where she was. Here sensors told her that it was morning and that she was outside in a dank cool area. Roger was saying something else, but she didn't hear him. She was still trying to figure out what she was doing here.
"I loved you R. Dorothy Waynewright, I'll never forget you."
Dorothy's thoughts came to an immediate halt. Had Roger just said what she thought he'd said? No she must have heard wrong, just to be sure though she played back that last few minutes in her mind. She was wrong, he really had just told her that he loved her, but why was he speaking in the past tense like she was dead. She was sitting rather still; maybe he really did think she was dead or shut down, as he would put it. She turned her head and realized that his back was to her and that he was now walking away.
"Roger Smith, are you planning to simply leave me here?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Roger just about fell on his face when he heard Dorothy's voice. He must be hallucinating or something. He turned around to make sure Dorothy was still where he'd left her. But it was just to the contrary, when he looked she was standing up staring at him and in her own way she was very much alive.
He was happier than he thought, and did something very out of character. He ran towards her and hugged her, not wanting to let her go.
"Roger I'm very happy to see you too, but can we please go home."
Embarrassed at his actions he stopped hugging her and stepped away. He than turned to go back to the car.
"Roger, you forgot something."
"Huh?" he said as he turned around, wondering what he could have forgot.
Before he was although turned around Dorothy was on him with her arms wrapped around his neck and kissing him. Her lips tasted sweet despite the fact that they were synthetic. He kissed her back and they held this position for a moment. After a couple of moments they parted and made their way to the car together.
As Roger began to close the door for Dorothy, she turned her face up to him, a rarely seen smile on her face.
"I love you too Roger Smith."
They drove home together in silence, for there was no need for words because they knew how they felt towards each other and the tears had been long forgotten.
~*We Have Come To Terms*~
~*The End*~
Well what did you think? I know Dorothy and Roger were realllllly out of character. I made Dorothy way to insecure and I know she would never try to do that to Roger. Anyway I hope you enjoyed that story despite all that, it kind of wrote itself. In case you didn't realize it, neither of them remembers the seduction scene, hence the name of the story, "Forgotten Tears"
Please leave your thoughts, did you love it, hate it, and want me to go jump in a ditch and never write again. want me to write a sequel.
This was my first attempt at a Big O fanfic.
If I get enough positive feedback I may consider writing a sequel to this, and maybe have a little bit more lemon.
Oh, yeah one other thing, I know there are probably a lot of grammar errors in this thing, sorry about that.
Teresa AKA Relena Yuy