Summary: AU story, Padme doesn't die on Polis Massa, thus she is living with Leia on Alderaan, but not as she would have liked.

Thank you Cara so much for all your help with this story! It couldn't have come out as beautifully as it did without you. hugs Thanks lots, hun!

A Forsaken Life

Chapter One - Memories

Padme, or Cordellia as she was now known, and had been for sometime, looked down at the glassy clear water, her feet moving lazily, causing ripples all around. She looked down at the water, her image not one she had been able to get used to, even given the years that she had been known as Cordellia. As she looked at her reflection in the water, her hazel eyes wandering across the features of her face, a memory swept through her mind.

//"Obi-Wan…" She said weakly, barely able to open her eyes.

"Yes, my love?" His voice caressed her ears, and a small smile appeared on her face.

"You…," Padme inhaled shakily, trying to speak, but she felt so weak. "You..have…You have to understand…"

Obi-Wan brushed a strand of hair away from her forehead. He smiled lovingly at her, trying to quell the panic feeling in his heart. "I do understand."

Padme shook her head feebly, barely able to move her body on the small cot she was on. "No, I don't want to die." she said, struggling to hold onto Obi-Wan's arm, her hand surprisingly clutching his sleeve in an iron grip. "I don't want to leave you..." She whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

Obi-Wan blinked the tears away from his eyes, and held her hand in his, caressing it. "You won't die." He said, determined. "You're not going to die, Padme. You're going to live. You MUST. For us, for our children." He said, looking into her eyes. "I love you, Padme. You just keep hanging on, don't you dare leave me."

Padme's smile was barely able to be seen, it was so tiny. "I won't.." She said, breathlessly, her breathing shallow. "I love you, Obi-Wan."

"I know," he said, caressing her cheek, wishing he could help her in anyway, his heart was beating so fast in his chest, and he worried for his love. "I know."//

Cordellia was shocked out of her memory, by someone running to her, yelling her name. She hastily blinked the tears away that she hadn't noticed were in her eyes until now.

"DELLA!" cried little Leia, running towards her as fast as her little legs could carry her. She finally reached her friend and personal maid and hugged her friend's back, smiling and laughing. "Hi Della! I missed you!" she said, sincerely, snuggling against the woman. Cordellia turned around and put her arms around the little girl's shoulders.

She put on a smile for the girl's sake and hugged her. "I missed you too," she leaned away from the girl and looked at her features. "What have you been doing while I was away."

Leia shrugged and moved to sit next to her friend. She took her stockings off and put her feet in the water, her toes barely skimming it. "Nothing, really. It was boring without you." They sat like that for some time, just daughter and mo--…they sat like that for some time, just princess and friend, staring out into the beautiful water, each lost in their own thoughts. Cordellia had a hard time keeping her gaze away from the little girl. Moments like these were always a torture for her, sitting right next to her daughter, and yet never being able to show her love, her affection, for this little girl that she had borne, and who she had loved ever since she had seen her daughter's little face on Polis Massa, being held in the arms of Obi-Wan. Cordellia sighed and looked at the little girl, watching as her eyes lit up in excitement as she saw an animal running across the grass, her brown curls bouncing in the air as she moved her head. She opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted.

"Leia!" cried a man's voice. "Leia, there you are!"

Both Leia and Cordellia turned their heads to look, Leia stood up and ran to Bail, putting her arms around his waist, hugging him hard. "Daddy! I was just sitting with Della, I missed her while she was gone!" She said, smiling slightly. Cordellia stood; she took her shoes in her right hand, and walked towards Bail and his 'daughter.' Bail looked up from Leia towards Cordellia, smiling.

"I'm glad that Leia was you, all this time. I was beginning to wonder if she had run away." He said, laughing at the frown on Leia's face.

"Daddy, I would never run away! You know that." Leia said, looking between her father and her friend. They shared a knowing glance and each began to walk towards the palace, little Leia hanging onto her daddy's hand. Suddenly Bail took Leia's hand and swung her up, so he was holding her against him, he kissed her cheek and smiled.

"So, what do you want to do for your 5th birthday, my little princess?"

Leia's mouth formed a perfect O, her eyes widening.

"I don't know, I forgot bout my birthday when I saw Della!" She exclaimed, turning excitedly towards Della, Bail almost dropping her in his surprise. They reached the palace's steps and Bail let her down, she running to Cordellia and grabbing her hand and dragging her towards the palace doors.

"I want a cake, Daddy. A big chocoa (for she couldn't say chocolate just yet) one! With white frosting!" Leia exclaimed excitedly, as she dragged Cordellia down the hallway and towards her bedroom. Bail smiled and nodded, he had followed them to Leia's bedroom door. He stooped down and kissed the crown of Leia's head.

"I'm going to go and get your mother, and than you can tell her about it all, alright?" At the nod of Leia's head, he nodded to Cordellia and turned away. Cordellia was soon dragged into Leia's bed, and was told to sit on her bed, as Leia searched under it, frantically. Finally Leia's head reemerged from out under the bed, clutching a small chest in her tiny hands. She smiled at the puzzled look on her friend's face, and opened the chest. There were several little assortments, mostly little child toys, but in the top right corner was something else. Cordellia barely got a glimpse of it before it was in Leia's palm.

"Look!" the little girl exclaimed, excitement in her eyes. Leia placed the 'item' in Della's hand and watched her face for her reaction. A frown appeared on her cute little face when she saw that Della had lost color in her face, and she looked shell-shocked. Leia placed her tiny hand on Della's knee and shook it.

"D-della? You alright? D-don't you like it? I found it along time ago, and thought this would be pretty on you…" She said softly, her brows drawn together in worry.

Cordellia stared down at the 'item' in her hand. She resisted the urge to weep and turned to the little girl, startled to see such concern and worry on her little face. She put a brave smile on for the second time that day, her heart soaring and yet sinking, all at the same time, when she saw the smile on the little girl's face, such like the one of her father's. Obi-Wan…Cordellia swallowed hard and looked back down at the item in her hand, a ring, a simple ring, and yet it was so much more. Ever so much more. Her fingers clasped around the ring on that golden chain, another memory hitting her mind.

//Padme fingered the golden chain, laying on her neck, smiling at herself in the mirror. Obi-Wan appeared behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and growing stomach. He smiled at her and began to nuzzle her neck with his nose, inhaling her beautiful scent.

"You look beautiful," he murmured, kissing her neck softly, chuckling deeply as she leaned into his kisses, her eyes closed, a smile on her face, her fingers around the ring, pulling on the chain slightly. Padme turned around, moving her arms up and around his neck. She smiled and kissed him. "Thank you. You look very handsome yourself if I may say so."

"Are you almost ready for the party?"

"Hmm, almost," she said softly.

Obi-Wan watched her, wondering why she was just watching him,

Suddenly Padme kissed him passionately, cupping his face with her hands. He did what any other sensible man would do, and kissed her back. Obi-Wan broke away, much to both of their dislike, "Padme, you do know that if we keep going like this, we'll never get to the party. You know how mad Bail will be if we don't show up. After all, you are the star of this party, my love." He said, nipping her bottom lip with his teeth, kissing her lightly. Padme pulled away, sighed, and straightened her hair and clothes. She smiled as Obi-Wan held out his arm for her.

"Now I'm ready," she said, grabbing her purse and putting her arm through his his "All I needed was a little motivation." She joked, laughing as Obi-Wan laughed, and they both walked towards the front door.//

"..dellia, tell me, my friend, are you all right?" Queen Breha asked, concern etched in her voice. Her concern increased as she saw no reaction in her friend. She brought a hand out to shake Cordellia's shoulder just when Della's head moved up, her eyes glassy. Breha, knowing what she was going through, noticed the angry tears that demanded to be shed, but as she knew, Cordellia was a strong woman. Ah, Padme…you have been through so much…The Queen sighed and sat next to her on the bed, putting an arm around her shoulder. Breha looked at her daughter, smiling slightly.

"Why don't you go and find Toph, she should be around soon, Leia. Cordellia just needs some time alone." Breha said softly, nodding encouragingly, motioning towards the door. Leia looked sadly between her mother and her friend and walked out the door silently, gone off to look for her playmate, all the while wondering what was wrong with Della.

End of Chapter One. Hope you all liked!

TBC...