Naminé knows the clocks are all wrong. Apparently, no one in Castle Oblivion can tell time. And it's not like they're all exactly eight minutes behind or anything. No, the incorrect times are even out of sync with each other. It irks her to no end, the fact that she doesn't ever even know what time it is. But, she figures, that's probably how they want it. If she can't keep track, maybe she'll forget to worry, and if she's not worrying, maybe she'll draw faster. Maybemaybemaybe.
Naminé knows she shouldn't scream. Sometimes it's all she wants to do, but they'll just get angry. And there's no telling what they'll do to her if they get angry. Sure, they need her… but they don't need to like her. And they most certainly don't need to pretend to be nice to her. She's got to hold in all her screams for a time when she's safe. When all this is over. Refrainrefrainrefrain.
Naminé knows very little about her other. Sora's told her everything he can, but she thinks he's starting to forget the things he wants to say. His opinions are rather biased, anyway… But he really does try.
"Her name is Kairi."
"..Kay-ree?"
"No, like this: Kie-ree."
"K-Kairi. Her name is Kairi?"
"Yeah, her name's Kairi. She's pretty and nice and she's got red hair and blue eyes and she talks a lot like you, Naminé."
Kairikairikairi.
Naminé knows that she's got the ability to forget all about everything. Once she's finished, she can just toss out all these awful memories… It's that simple. But there are things she doesn't want to forget… If she loses all her memories, discards each and every recollection, she'll forget Sora too. And she doesn't want that. She just wants to forget the unpleasant things. Forgetforgetforget.
Naminé knows she should care about herself more than she does. She worries that if she doesn't, there's no one that will. She's at odds in this castle, and she realizes that. It would be hard for her not to. She cares, but she doesn't believe she can do anything about it. She could never change any of it. She's too busy anyway. Drawdrawdraw.
Naminé knows she can't afford to make mistakes. There aren't going to be any second chances, and if she screws up, well… It's not like Sora really ever knew his aunt that well anyway. Right? Right… But she can't allow herself that luxury. Do or die, all or nothing… no 'oops' involved. Eraseeraseerase.
Naminé knows everyone's doomed. Sora's never going to find Kairi, and the rest of them will just rot for eons, neither living nor dead. Just kind of there, always part of a guilty half-existence. But forever can't be that long, really. Patiencepatiencepatience.
Naminé knows she shouldn't know any of this. Somehow, she's cheated… Dissecting someone's memories is like reading a book over their shoulder. You don't know the whole story, but you know how it ends. It's like stealing. It's just not right. Pretendpretendpretend.
Naminé knows she's nothing special. What good is magic if someone else is going to tell you how you can and can't use it? What good is life when you can't even pretend it's real? What good is a girl if she can't even look in your eyes and say the word 'love'? Fakeitfakeitfakeit.
Kairi's the special one. Kairi's the lucky one. Kairi's the real one.
But Naminé… she's nothing but Naminénaminénaminé.
well.. that didn't exactly turn out the way i'd planned, but i guess that's alright.
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