"Holy mermaid bubbles! I've finally made it to Frogports school of magic!" Larry Rotter said as he walked to the huge building. He wandered down the halls until he came to his room number.

He opened the door to a really old guy, "Grandpa!" said Larry, "I thought you were dead!"

"I'm not your grandpa! Your grandpa died in a terrorist caused plane crash somewhere over the Bermuda Triangle!"

"Oh… Santa?"

"NO! I'm Humbledwarf! I'm the head master at this school and I've come to introduce you to your new class!" Humbledwarf turned to the students, "This is our new student Larry. Larry, this Harmony."

"Wasup?"

"She's the school's top gangsta! And this is Don."

"Wah?"

"He's partially deaf. And the rest are just unimportant movie extras that usually don't even have names."

"Hey! That's not fair!"

"Quiet, Weevil! Or should I get out my wet noodle again?"

"No! Not the noodle!" Weevil sat back down.

"That's a good little muffin lump! Now let me take you to meet the other teachers of Frogports, Larry!"

They walked down the halls to the potions room, "This is where Severus Cape teaches."

"What's that? You like to milk leaches?"

"Shut up, Don!"

"Who dares enter my domain!"

"Oh hello, Cape! I'm just introducing Larry Rotter here to all the teachers."

"Hmm…" Eyes Larry up and down, "Something tells me in my script that we're not going to get along very well…"

"Why do they call you cape?"

"This…" He pulls out a long black cape, "is why! Whoosh! Whoosh!" he runs down the halls and crashes into the door of the girls' bathroom, "I am in need of medical attention!"

"Crazy ass mother fucker…" Humbledwarf mumbles under his breath, "Shall we continue?" They walk outside to a small cottage.

"This is where Waggart hangs, dog!"

"You had sex with a frog? But aren't we dating?"

"WTF Yo! I aint playin with you! And I aint havin no sex with no frogs either fool!"

"I am not a bull!"

"I SAID FOOL YOU FOOL! NOT BULL!"

"Oh!" Don leans over so he can whisper into Larry's ear, "She thinks I'm cool!"

"What? Can I smack him!"
"Be my guest!"

"Come here Don! I gotta show you the fishys. You gonna be sleepin with em tonight!" Harmony drags Don behind some trees.

"Yay! She wants to sleep with me Larry! Goodbye virginity!"

"Anyway!" Humbledwarf continued, "This is Waggart's crib."

"Hello Mr. Larry Rotter! I heard you were comin today!"

"Waggart's a pedophile! Don't let him bring you into his house!" Humbledwarf advised.

"So Mr. Rotter, how was your first day?"

Larry's voice gets real deep, "It was bitchin!"