A/N: Hi! Another DGM fic. This one has some lovely Kanda torture. Don't get me wrong, I like Kanda, but it's just so fun to torture him… Anyway, enjoy! *cough* Review please! *cough*
Disclaimer: I don't own -man.
"Oh Yu~!" came the call across the cafeteria.
Kanda flinched. His first (much hated) name, called in that tone, coming from the mouth of the Baka Usagi could only mean his next twenty-four hours were going to bite.
The red-head merrily loped over and took an uninvited seat next to the brooding exorcist.
"What do you want?" Kanda hissed, his glare-proven to melt steel, make grown men cry, and stop birds mid-flight- turned onto the totally unaffected Lavi. "Is there something specific you wanted or did you just have a death wish Baka Usagi?"
The afore mentioned Baka Usagi continued to grin. " 'Course not! Do I need a reason to sit by my best-friend?" he exclaimed. Without warning, he leaned over and hugged Kanda.
All life within a square mile froze. Nobody hugged Kanda. It was one of the greatest laws of the Order: "Thou shalt not hug Kanda…EVER."
Kanda's eyes went wide in a mixture of shock, horror, and a fury that put ax-murderers to shame. "What kind of drugs are you on?" he roared, fighting to break free from Lavi's death grip and grab Mugen.
"I'm offended!" protested Lavi in mock horror. "I live by the motto 'Hugs, not drugs.' " He squeezed Kanda tightly. "See? I'm a practicing believer!"
Kanda gave an inhuman hiss. "Let. Go. Of. Me. Now!" he yelled. He tilted backwards on the bench. With a yelp he fell backwards, taking Lavi with him. As his arms were pinned to his sides, he had been unable to catch his fall. His head had hit the stone floor with an audible "thwack". He gave a small groan and wished those odd stars would stop spinning around his head.
He looked over. Whether by his hair, kept barely at bay by the green bandana or through some bizarre rabbit luck, Lavi seemed unharmed. "You okay Yu?" he asked with faked concern, even though anyone could see he was trying not to laugh.
Kanda's response was to growl. He was no doubt about to swear at the rabbit, who was still holding onto him, when Allen walked up.
"Wow Lavi…you said you'd stall until I got here, but I didn't think you'd tackle him!" the white-haired boy exclaimed.
"This is your doing then Moyashi?" Kanda grumbled, sparing a quick glare for the younger boy before resuming his escape attempt.
Allen helped them off the ground. Lavi managed to keep his bone-crushing grip on Kanda. Kanda couldn't help but marvel at his comrade/constant annoyance/sorta-friend's strength. He supposed it came from lugging that hammer everywhere, but he secretly wondered if it didn't come from Lavi's habit of hugging everyone…
Kanda snapped himself out of his daze as Lavi started to shuffle towards the exit, dragging Kanda with him. "What are you doing? Where are you taking me?" he angrily barked at his captors. The rabbit alone would have given him enough cause to worry. But the rabbit and the bean sprout? That was cause to panic. He continued to thrash around, trying to reach Mugen. If he could just reach a bit further…
"Oh, can't have you getting that." commented Allen, reaching around to unhook Mugen from Kanda's belt.
The long-haired Exorcist looked on aghast as his precious sword was carelessly thrown into a broom closet. He let out a stream of profanity that would have caused even Cross to cringe. "Where are you taking me?" he screeched.
Lavi gave an evil grin, which was mirrored by Allen. "Why, my dear Yu, we're taking you to get a haircut." Kanda went white as a sheet.