What am I thinking? Starting another story when my SasuNaru fic is still unfinished?

Well, no worries. The truth is, I wrote this fic about 2 years ago. Before our computer was reformatted, I had backed it up in a CD but forgot where I put it. And now, after tiding up, I found it again. So technically, this is my first fanfic, and an AkiHika one to boot!

I thought I might share it everyone. It's a multi-chapter one, but I don't know if I'll post the other chapters. I mean, this seems to stand alone, even though it's angst and depressing.

Anyway, it's kind of based from an AkiHika doujinshi made by one of my favorite Hikago doujin mangaka – Gyarandoh! Hope you enjoy it!

BELONG

Chapter One: Uneasiness

I awoke to another cold morning in my apartment. That's no surprise. Winter is almost near. But what made me feel the cold wasn't the climate. It was because of a certain person -- a person who was currently lying in my bed.

Shindou Hikaru…

I brushed a few strands of his golden bangs away from his face. The sight of him sleeping peacefully in between my sheets was captivating, most especially in the morning that followed a night filled with ardent passion. I didn't know for how long I gazed at him, but when my eyes fell on the alarm clock, it was already thirty minutes past seven. I usually get up no later than six so I quickly pushed the blankets away from me and got up.

I rummaged through the drawers looking for a change of clothes, as the ones I wore last night lay disheveled and wrinkled on the floor, cast aside during last night's intensity. I looked back at his sleeping form one more time before leaving the room.

Down the hallway, I noticed a trail of clothes that led to the living room. It took me moment to register in my head that it was Shindou's clothes. I suddenly remembered that the "contact" started in the living room.

We were playing Go as usual when I suddenly had the urge to touch him. It started with an innocent kiss until it eventually escalated to something more. I would've done him at the floor right then and there, but he kept protesting how hard the floor is, so I dragged him into the bedroom, while discarding pieces of his constricting fabric.

And the rest is history.

I sighed. He'd most definitely want his clothes the moment he wakes up. I picked each of them up, folded it neatly and placed them on top of the dresser next to the bed. The sound of his breathing sent a heavy feeling to my heart.

I went into the kitchen and began to make breakfast. It had become a daily ritual to me ever since the day I moved to this apartment. This kind of ritual often gave me the impression that we were a married couple. But I knew that our relationship was a far cry from that.

I never really understood it—the feelings that Shindou makes me go through. We had been seeing each other more often. Most of the time, it's no longer about playing Go. Lately, we haven't even been able to finish a decent game since it'd always lead to "other" things.

Only he could possibly make me feel this way.

But…

Whenever I look into his eyes, there lies a secret that I cannot grasp. Something painful that he keeps hidden from the rest of the world. He doesn't say anything about it to me. But I know it's there. And the fact that he doesn't tell me hurts me a lot.

It makes me feel like there's a wall existing between us.

A cold wall…

Eight o'clock. He still hasn't come out. Maybe he's still asleep. I decided to go get him, pushing my heavy thoughts aside.

"Shindou, are you up?" I called from the door. But I stopped when I saw him dressing up.

"Ah, Touya!" he looked at me nonchalantly. "Is breakfast ready?"

"Y-Yeah," I stammered as I watched him zip up his pants. To think out of the number of times we made love, I'd have already gotten used to the sight of him naked, let alone half-naked. Nevertheless, the sight of his bare chest and small shoulders roused something inside me.

I suddenly got the urge to ask something that I have wanted to ask for a long time.

"Shindou…"

He stopped short from picking up his shirt.

"What?"

He was waiting for me to continue, but I began to falter. The topic always seemed like something very fragile so I was pondering how I should say it.

"Earth to Touya! Sheesh! If you're not gonna say anything…"

"Shindou!" I interrupted before he could finish. He jerked in surprise.

"I want to know something…" I was finally going to say it.

"What?" he asked, sitting down on the bed.

I needed to be tactful on this. I took another moment of silence, and his face began to contort in irritation.

"Whatever!" he reached out for his shirt and then draped it around his shoulders.

I knew that what I want to know might open an old wound. But I needed to know. It's very important that I know.

I grabbed hold of one of his hands that were busy closing the buttons of his shirt.

"Touya?"

I felt my bangs fall against my face, covering my eyes. "I know this isn't something I should be asking now," I spoke.

"Then what is it?" he asked, his eyes flaring up. "If you have something to say then just say it!" I leaned down and kissed him on the lips. It was brief and innocent. Afterwards, I met his gaze. His eyes were filled with much confusion. I probably had a very serious expression on my face by now.

"I can think of you as mine, right?" I asked as if wanting to confirm.

His brows knit together and his face suddenly turned bright red. "T-That's fine! I already told you before that you could!"

With the tone of his voice, I didn't know if he blushed because of embarrassment or because of anger.

"Then… Am I yours…?"

At the sound of that question, he suddenly stiffened, and his eyes widened in shock.

"Am I yours, Shindou?" I leaned in a bit closer, waiting for a reply. A few seconds ticked by and none came. I ran my fingers on his exposed collarbone as a silent anxiety ran through me.

"You've accepted me and allowed me touch you like this…" I continued, tilting his head upward to meet my gaze. I kissed him again, this time harder and deeper. "But it's kind of strange," I said the moment the kiss ended. "The closer I am to you, the more distant it feels. What must I do to convey my feelings to you?"

"Touya," he lowered his head and I had to kneel down in order to see his eyes. "Why are you suddenly asking these things?"

"It's not sudden," I replied, my arms cornering him at the edge of the bed. "It's been on my mind for a long time now."

I felt his hands upon my neck, massaging it. And then it moved to the back of my head, stroking my hair. He leaned forward and kissed me. His tongue darted out, licking my lips. I obliged and allowed him to enter my mouth, mixing his taste with mine. Something about that kiss roused me, and I knew it was a matter of time before my body took control.

"No, Shindou," I managed to break it before my instincts took charge. "Even if we have sex, it won't get resolved, right?"

I lifted myself so that I was the one looking down on him, still seated on the bed. "Please answer," I almost purred into his ear, my hot breath tickling him. I licked his ear lobe sensually as one of my hands began to roam his body lower… and lower…

"Shindou," I softly whispered, " Am I yours?"

His hands that were trembling the whole time suddenly found strength to push me away. "Let me go!!" he shouted forcefully. This act caught me by surprise. I looked at him, waiting for an explanation, but instead he fumbled with his shirt, buttoning it up. This irritated me to no end.

Shindou made a motion to get up, but I pushed him back down on the bed forcefully. I gripped both his wrists tightly, pinning them on both sides of his head. "Touya… it hurts," he murmured.

Is that all you have to say?

Anger was beginning to boil up inside me and I allowed it to take over.

"ANSWER ME!!" I was already demanding.

His eyes turned away from me. "It's none of your business."

My frown became deeper. I raised both of his wrists above his head so that I could pin them both down with my right hand. I cupped his chin with my left hand and forced him to look at me.

"It is my business!" I snapped. "It's about me! I'm asking you my worth to you and that's all you have to say to me?"

I placed my knee in between his legs, forcing them to part, massaging the lower area of his body.

"Tou—" he breathed as he felt the motion.

I closed the gap between us and began to trail kisses down his neck, kissing and nibbling his skin. The hand that had clutched his chin now replaced the knee that was enticing his shaft. Through the jeans I could feel that he were slightly getting aroused.

He arched his head backwards and let out a groan. In response, I licked the edges of his chin and continued to kiss him violently.

Just having you beneath me is enough to send sensations through my body.

Along with it came an intense desire to claim him.

"Touya… wait…"

He struggled against my grasp, but my body was now in full control. My left hand stopped stroking the growing bulge in his pants, and strained to release the button and pull down the zipper.

I stopped kissing him and looked at him with a glow of dominance. My hand finally slid inside him and began to stroke his arousal. He wasn't as turned-on as he was last night, but if I continued…

"Ah… fuu…" he breathed and looked at me with half-lidded eyes.

"Shindou…" I spoke, my voice remaining firm but pleading at the same time. "I should know you better than anyone else. What are you so afraid of?"

With my left hand still pumping him, I used the other hand to try and remove his pants. But in doing so, I had released his wrists. Gripping my shoulders, he pushed me off him with full force. I was surprised that he was able to send me flying to the other side of the room.

Even without looking at him, I could feel his intense glare. He muttered some curses, and fixed his clothes hurriedly then stomped off towards the door. He stopped, turned back at me and, with an icy glare, shouted, "Screw you, Touya Akira!"

Afterwards, he walked away from my sight. I heard the front door open then close with a loud thud. With a heavy sigh, I flopped down on the bed that still had Shindou's scent from last night's passion. The memory of his warm body throbbing against mine remained fresh.

"Really, Shindou," I chuckled. "You always do what you please."

I brought a hand to my face, obscuring the look of anguish I had.

Shindou…

Before I met you, I never knew of such feelings. If I had never met you, I wouldn't have to go through so much pain. If I weren't so drawn to you… then I would be spared from this agony.

Can you even understand this uneasiness I feel?

The breakfast I made lay on the table… cold and forgotten…

To be continued...

So how was it? Liking AkiHika or wanting me to update my SasuNaru fic?

Well, Boracay was great! I even got a tan! I'll be updating Reunion of Hearts by tomorrow or tonight, as soon as I have it up on my computer.

Please review!