The Night Before

John opened the door to the flat to see his friend lying on the wood floor, staring at the ceiling.

He looked at him for a moment. "Do I… do I want to know why you're lying on the floor?"

"Physically distancing yourself from a problem often helps you to mentally distance yourself from a problem, thus giving you a better perspective." His hands were together underneath his chin, as always.

"So you're lying on the floor…"

"Instead of on the couch like I normally would, in order to give myself a better perspective, yes."

"A whole four feet away. That's quite the change in perspective you have there. Don't overdo it; you might not even be able to see the problem from that far away."

"It doesn't actually matter how much distance you have, as long as you're not in the same place you were when you had a mental block. I usually just distance myself mentally, but I decided to go for physical distance this time. Try it."

"What- lying on the floor?"

"Yes."

"That's," he crossed his arms uncomfortably, "that's kind of odd, Sherlock."

"Fine. You have my permission to continue in the harmful mental ruts that you love so much."

Realizing that he had done far stranger things (one of which involved dressing up in a ninja costume in order to catch some criminals who were obsessed with comic books), he sighed in defeat and lay down on the floor next to the consulting detective. "What problem are you working on, anyway? I didn't know you had a case."

"I'm not working on a case. I'm weighing the pros and cons of life without you."

"Life without me?" John sat up again, looking at his friend. "Sherlock, I'm just getting married tomorrow, not falling off the face of the earth!"

"Pro #1: No one is going to make me eat. Well," he conceded, "there's always Mrs. Hudson, but she's much easier to refuse than you."

"No, you are not starving yourself again!"

"I didn't starve myself! I was working on a case, and it was perfectly under control!"

"So passing out in the middle of a rant about possible suspects and motives was 'perfectly under control?'"

"I didn't pass out in the middle of a chase, so yes."

"But you get my point, Sherlock! It could have happened!"

"But it didn't. Believe it or not, I've managed just fine without you before. Or do you constantly wonder how I managed to survive before you came along?"

"Either way, I'm going to call you every morning and make sure you eat, if it has to come to that, just so you know. And I'll be coming back and visiting."

"Visiting? Really? Seeing as you're the type of idiot who would want children once you're married, how much do you really think you'll be coming back when you have a family to take care of?"

"I'll make time." But John saw the truth in what the detective was saying.

"You cannot physically make more time than there already is, John. There have been and always will be only 24 hours in a day."

"Well, then I'll use some of those 24 hours to visit you."

"It might start out that way. Actually," he turned to look at the army doctor, "you might even succeed for a while, seeing as you're a creature of habit and still retain your military punctuality. But it won't last as long as you think. You'll eventually leave me and my experiments and cases and retreat to the pleasures of," he spat out the last two words, "wedded bliss."

And, however much John didn't want to believe that, wanted to fight against it with every fiber of his being, he knew that, when it really came down to it, Sherlock was right.

"Pro #2: No one is going to make me sleep."

"I'll-"

"And don't say you'll call me. What if you actually wake me up from sleeping in order to convince me to go to sleep? It would defeat your entire purpose."

John smirked. "I'll have Mycroft watch you on CCTV and pester you until you go to bed."

"You wouldn't." His eyes narrowed.

"Oh, I would. And you know he'd agree to it, too."

"He wouldn't if he knows what's good for him."

"What would you do? Burn his brolly? Take away his cake?"

An evil grin worked its way across Sherlock's face. "Maybe. I could probably convince his assistant to rearrange the furniture in his office, too, while I was at it."

"How?"

"Oh, I can be quite convincing when I'm in the mood. Besides, she won't get punished for it, since I'll take the credit, so she'll be more willing to help me."

"Don't you mean that you'd take the blame?"

"Oh, no. I definitely meant credit. Pro #3: No one is going to stop my experiments."

"As long as you don't hurt Mrs. Hudson or blow up the flat, I think you're right in that department."

"Of course I'm right. When am I not right?"

"And you're humble, too." John rolled his eyes.

"Humility is unnecessary. It doesn't help anyone if I understate my abilities."

"You don't have to understate them, Sherlock. Just don't shout them from a rooftop."

The detective took a deep breath. "Con #1: I'll have to go back to talking to the skull."

"You know you can always call, Sherlock."

"I never call when I can text; you know this. And you don't always answer your texts. Con #2: I won't have someone to lead me through social interactions."

John didn't quite know what to say to that, so he said nothing.

"People react better and are… easier to work with when I follow your social advice."

"Now, wait just a second. You actually follow my social advice? Usually I say one thing and you do the complete opposite."

"But I at least consider it, and I have followed your advice on occasion."

"I'll be satisfied with 'on occasion.' It's better than nothing, at least."

"Con #3: You won't blog about me anymore, and I'll lose clients."

"Oh, don't give me that! You'll miss my blog for more than that! I know how much you love to pick it apart and complain about everything you can. It gives you some sort of messed-up satisfaction."

"I only correct the mistakes because they're heinous and can't be allowed to continue."

"So you do it out of a sense of duty? Name one other time you've done something simply because it had to be done, and not because you wanted to do it. Even Mycroft can't make you do something you don't want to, and he even threatens you sometimes. You like reading my blog, no matter how much you complain about it."

"It's… not the worst thing I've ever found to do when I was bored."

"There!" John smiled in victory, and Sherlock couldn't help but smirk in return.

"Con #4." The detective paused, and the smirk slid off his face, which John saw.

"What's con #4?" the army doctor asked quietly.

Taking a deep breath, he said just as quietly, "I'll miss you." And he didn't say how all the pros were actually things that he would secretly miss, all the nagging that made him feel cared about, all of those things that brought foreign feelings of friendship and contentment, all of these turned his pros into cons and made this a no-win situation. He had jumped off a roof so that John could have his own life and live happily. Honestly, he had foreseen something exactly like this happening, but he never guessed that losing a friend would hurt so much. But he didn't say any of this.

"Sherlock?"

"Yes?"

"I'll miss you, too."

And he knew that John had still heard.

JWJWJW

And Sherlock realizes what most of us have already learned: living in time is not always a bed of roses.

Dedicated to my friends who have moved away and/or gone off to college: my Holmes, Meredith, and Andrew. I'm so glad you're no farther away than facebook, tumblr, or a phone call.

Comments are greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!