Halo: Insanity

Disclaimer: I don't own Halo. Inspired by Things as they Should Be: By Legolasby Mbus55.

343 Guilty Spark read over yet another crappy Halo fanfic on the Web.

Then finally da MC kills Tr00th and gr4v3m1nd and de fl00d and he pwn s0x0rs and st00f and becomes da arbynatorrator's best friend!!!!!!!!!!!!

The End

Slight beeping noises. Then an insufferable screeching noise. The Monitor started floating around, crashing into his computer, and the walls, and… pretty much everything.

He had gone insane. Really, truly, definitely, and absolutely. It screamed as it started bashing the evil screen of its computer, which had caused its insanity. He blamed it all on the bad literature.

"Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap!" It repeatedly screamed to itself, as it tried to kill itself. Too bad that he was invincible.

So that left suicide out. Only one option left. It looked over at its computer. Now a smoking pile of crap.

"Smokin' hot." It chirped cheerfully, with a demented look in its eyes… or rather, light bulb. Humming cheerfully, it floated away, trying to find another computer. It hovered around, until it spied the 'good' sergeant Johnson thumbing away at his laptop.

"I'll take that." 343 Guilty Spark hummed, as it activated its super-duper magnetic ray thingy and snatched the laptop away.

"Hey!" The Sergeant shouted angrily. "I was looking-working on that!"

"What is this stuff? Little… grunts? Doing what?"

Johnson swiped at the Monitor.

The Monitor hovered away, to the one secure place on this ship. The Latrines.

"I need my stuff! Give it back!" Johnson hollered, as he ran after the construct, who ducked into the restrooms. The marine followed, kicked a door open… only to find the Master Chief sitting on the toilet.

"Ah! What the frig?" The Master Chief exclaimed, as he snapped up his rifle… but from where, I won't tell you.

"The damn lightbulb! Where is it?" Johnson asked, trying to shield his eyes.

"Through the vent."

"Damn! He's escaped me!" Johnson muttered. The Monitor hovered in… followed by several pissed-off Spartans, Dr. Halsey, the Ghost of Cpt. Keyes, and pretty much everyone who was in Halo 1, 2, or Ghosts of Onyx.

"Hey! Give me my boxers back!" Fred roared. Everyone looked at him.

"Er… boxer… gloves." Fred corrected.

"Our audience is assembled." The Monitor chirped cheerfully. Several clicking noises were heard. "The bathrooms have been locked down. I have perused your 'WWW', and have compiled a story of my own!"

Everybody looked at each other in despair.