Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything affiliated with the show.
AN: Inspired from the scene in episode 5.16 - Dark Side of the Moon where Mary says "You are my little Angel" to Dean. Also, includes a scene from episode 1.09 – Home when Mary meets Sam and Dean.
I dedicate this story to my sister, Rachel for making me write this oneshot in Mary's point of view instead of Dean's point of view which I had intended to do when I saw this scene.
When Dean was four and Sam a few months old, John and I had a fight. The fight was huge and ugly and a few days later, John left. Like all couples, John and I have our ups and downs but somehow this time something small erupted into a huge blowout between the two of us.
We were both angry and the house was a war zone.
I hated it that the kids could hear us arguing especially Dean as Sam was still a baby. Whenever, we had an argument, Dean would hide out in his room or Sam's nursery. Most of the time, I'll find him asleep in Sam's crib with his thumb in his mouth. And, that's when I know things are bad as Dean had outgrown that habit three years ago.
He looked so peaceful lying there with Sammy curled up beside him. I'll stand there watching over my boys and whenever Dean's face scrunches up in distress, I'll smooth his forehead lovingly as I drop a kiss on both their foreheads.
-xxx-
Two days later, John decides to leave to get away from the barely suppressed tension hanging around the house. When he told me of his decision to leave, I was devastated. I sat at the kitchen counter crying my eyes out as my husband and the father of my children packed some of his belongings.
Just as John reaches the bottom of the stairs with his bag, Dean scurries in the room with Sammy in his arms. "Careful Dean," John says.
"Here, hand me Sammy," John instructs as he sets his bag on the floor.
John holds Sammy in his hands and gives him a small smile as Sammy beams at him. "Remember that Daddy loves you very much."
John kisses Sammy and holds him snugly to his chest before depositing him in the playpen by the couch.
John turns around looking at Dean sadly as he kneels. "Dean-o, come to Daddy."
Dean trudges to his father standing stiffly before John with his eyes averted. "Daddy is leaving for a while. Mommy and I are working out some issues between us and once everything is resolved, I'll be back," John announced.
John then pulls Dean into his embrace and grips him tightly muttering, "I love you very much Dean. Look out for Sammy and Mommy, okay?"
"Okay Daddy," Dean replies softly as he snuggles into his father's hold.
"I have to go now Dean. I'll see you soon," John said as he pulls away from Dean.
John grabs his bag and heads for the kitchen. "I'm taking off Mary. Just remember that I love you and the boys very much and I hope we'll be able to get through this," John affirms as he circles towards the table looking at me intently.
I look into his eyes and all I see is love for me and the kids. I hate that John was leaving us but at the same time, I knew that something needs to be done in order for us to sort out the problems that have cropped up in our marriage.
I never once broke eye contact with John as I walked towards him. Once I'm in front of him, I clasped his hand in mine whispering, "I love you too."
He grips his hand tightly in mine as I kissed him gently. As I'm about to pull away, he tugs me close and kisses me feverishly. The next thing I know, his hands are rubbing my sides in an up and down motion. When I felt his hands under my blouse, I yank my lips away stumbling back.
"I…I think you should go now."
"I think you're right," John mumbles as he picks his bag leaving the kitchen.
Just as John reaches the front door, he feels something gripping his right leg. John looks down and is surprise to see Dean clinging on to his leg tightly.
"Don't go, Daddy! Please, don't go," Dean wailed.
"Buddy, truthfully I don't want to leave but right now that's what Daddy has to do," John replied as he tried to pry Dean's fingers from his right leg. Instead of letting John go, Dean doubled his efforts in clutching his father's leg.
In the end, John gives up and decides to seek his wife's help. "Mary, can you please help me?" John asks.
I hear John calling out for me and when I walk into the living room, I'm shocked to see Dean grasping his father's leg.
"Baby, let go of Daddy's leg," I said as I tried to help John in getting Dean to let go.
Dean shakes his head, "Mommy, Daddy can't leave."
"Come on baby, Daddy has to go. He's not leaving forever. He'll come by to see us," I assured.
"Your mother's right, Dean. I'll come by every day to see you and Sammy," John confirmed.
I held Dean firmly in my hands as John pried his fingers. After two attempts, John's right leg was released and he was free to leave.
"I'm sorry, son. I really wish I didn't have to go," John apologized.
"I hate you, Daddy!" Dean screamed as he ran towards the stairs.
I heard a sharp intake of breath and when I turned to John; his features were contorted in hurt before being replaced by anger.
He stalked after Dean grabbing him before Dean reached the stairs. In a deadly voice, John uttered "What did you say?" as he pushes Dean away from the stairs.
I ran up to them trying to dissuade the situation. "John, don't take to heart what Dean said. You know, he's just angry that you're leaving and he's sad that you won't be staying here for a while," I placated John.
Instead of listening to my pleas, John ignores me and grabs Dean's arm. Dean shrieked in terror when John gripped his arm painfully.
"Da…Daddy, I'm...I'm sorry. Please…let…let go of my…arm."
"John, you better let go of him now if you know what's good for you. If you ever touch him again like this, you and I are over and I'll make sure you'll never see the boys again," I said coldly as I stared intently into his eyes making my point.
John looks at me in shock letting go of Dean's arm. He steels himself before turning around leaving our house. The door slams loudly and the sound reverberates in the hall.
Once John has left, I held Dean in my arms. I felt him shaking in fear and tears were trailing down his cheeks in tiny rivulets. I carried him up the stairs whispering "Baby, shh...It's okay. Mommy's here" as I rocked him against my chest.
I sat on the bed with Dean in my arms as he clung to me tightly sobbing his heart out. "It's okay, baby. Cry all you want. Mommy will be here with you," I murmured.
After a while, his sobs stops completely and his head hangs limply in my arms. I place him on the bed tucking him in before kissing him lightly.
As I turn to leave, Dean stirs. "Mommy, please don't leave me," Dean pleads as he grabs my hand.
"I'm not honey," I replied as I got into bed with him. Dean crawls towards me and his body fits snugly into mine. I held him tightly as I sang "Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better…"
-xxx-
Without John at home, the house was profoundly quiet. Dean was silent all the time while Sammy didn't cry out as much.
Whenever I checked in on Dean, he'll be lying on his back in the middle of his room inside a circle of stuffed toys.
Seeing him so morose inside his circle, I decided to ask him about the circle made of stuffed toys.
"Hey Dean, what's with the toys and the circle?"
Dean answered, "They're protecting me, Mommy."
"From what, honey?"
"The screaming and the shouting," Dean softly replied.
I felt like screaming in frustration when I heard him utter that line. It felt like a sucker punch to my gut knowing my kid is frightened from all the fighting that was going around the house.
"But…Baby, no one's fighting right now."
"I know Mommy, but Daddy will be coming soon. Every time Daddy comes, the house would be scary," Dean answered quietly before rolling away from me.
"Baby, Mommy's so sorry that you have to hear us fighting. It's just Daddy and I need to sort things out" I stated.
"Okay Mommy. But, I hate it when you and Daddy fight," Dean said.
"I hate it too, baby," I replied as I entered his circle carefully pulling Dean onto my lap.
"Mommy?"
"Yes dear?"
"Is Daddy still mad at me?" Dean questioned.
"Honey, what happened wasn't your fault. Daddy is not mad at you. He's mad at himself for the way he acted with you."
"Oh…Will Daddy ever come back?" Dean asks.
"Dean, Daddy won't ever leave you and Sammy," I answered.
"But…What about you, Mommy?"
"I…I know Daddy loves me very much and I love him the same. I'm hopeful that the four of us will be back to being a family again," I replied honestly.
"I love you, Mommy," Dean states as he falls asleep in my lap.
I held Dean tightly for a little while before placing him on the bed. I gently smooth his hair in a loving caress, kissing him tenderly on his cheek. I peer into the room once more satisfied Dean is sound asleep before closing the door behind me.
-xxx-
Two hours later, I decide to check on Dean and imagine my surprise when I see he's about to get up. I poke my head in smiling lovingly at him as I asks, "Dean, are you hungry?"
In the kitchen, I prepare a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Dean with the crust cut off. As I busied myself around the kitchen, the shrilling sound of the telephone ringing cuts through the comfortable ambiance in the room.
I pick up the phone slowly. When I hear John's voice on the other end, my voice takes on a hard edge and my whole posture tenses up. I listen to him explain what he wants but at the end of our conversation, I'm angry as I hung up the phone.
Talking to John just makes me feel so sad and I felt so drained like my life force has been sucked away.
Suddenly, Dean appears before me and he hugs me.
"Dad loves you and I love you too. I'll never leave you," Dean announced as I pulled him closer.
After a moment, I pulled back from Dean. I looked into his mossy green eyes piercingly as I whispered "You are my little Angel".
-xxx-
Almost four days later, John and I manage to get to the root of our problems. We decided that the best course of action was to compromise. That same day, John promptly moved back in.
The kids were happy to see their father. Dean was in high spirits and had a smile that lit up his whole face. He looked so happy to have his Daddy back and that his family is once again intact.
Ever since John got back, Dean spent every minute with John even following him around the house. Dean was scared that John might leave at any given moment that he stuck by John's side all day.
In the end, John sat Dean down to repel the notion that he'll be leaving again.
"Buddy, I'm not leaving again, okay?"
"You won't leave ever again, Daddy?" Dean questioned.
"Yes buddy. I'm not leaving anytime soon. Mommy and I have worked things out between us," John replied.
"Okay, Daddy. I hated it when you and Mommy fought."
"I hate fighting with your Mother too, buddy. How bout this? Whenever Mommy and I disagree on anything, we'll discuss it pleasantly, okay?" John stated.
"Okay. I love you, Daddy," Dean said as he burrowed himself into John's side.
"I love you too, buddy."
-xxx-
"Come on, baby. It's time for bed."
"Do I have to Mommy?" Dean asks.
"Yes, you do. Anyway, it's past your bedtime."
"Okay."
Every night when I put Dean to bed, we'll go through his nightly rituals together. It always starts with a prayer and ends with a goodnight kiss.
"Goodnight, love."
"Goodnight Mommy," Dean utters before he gives me a kiss.
I kiss him on his cheek softly as I tuck him into bed.
"Mommy?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"Thank you for letting Daddy come back," Dean mumbles.
"Oh honey. Your Daddy would have returned no matter what. We both wanted to come up with a solution so that's why he left. It wasn't because I asked him to leave. You hear me, baby?"
"Yes Mommy."
Dean looks at his me for a moment before speaking. "Mommy, I love you, Daddy and Sammy very much."
"I love you too baby and so does Daddy and Sammy."
Dean face turns into a huge smile as I pulled the covers closer.
"Angels are watching over you," I said as I bend down to kiss Dean.
I watch Dean's eyelids flutter lightly as I left the room.
-xxx-
Seeing my children 22 years later is surreal. I never imagine I'll be able to sneak a peek to how my sons were doing.
Just as I'm about to reveal myself, Dean rushes into the room where Sam is being pinned against the wall by an invisible force. As Dean is about to pull the trigger on me, Sam shouts "No, don't! Don't!"
Dean yells "What, why?"
Sam answers, "Because I know who it is. I can see her now."
And that's when I decided to reveal myself. The fire vanishes and I stood clearly in front of my boys. Dean's expression softens when he sees me standing there looking the way I did the night I was killed. In shock, he slowly lowers his weapon.
"Mom?" Dean states softly.
I smile at him as I stepped closer to him.
"Dean," I said as tears formed in his eyes. At that moment, all I wanted to do was hold him in my arms but that isn't possible anymore. I wanted to tell him how much he has grown into a fine young man and how he'll always be my little Angel even though I'm technically dead. But, I knew I didn't have time before the poltergeist comes back and so with a heavy heart I walked away from Dean to talk to my other son, Sam.
"Sam…I'm sorry," I said as he smiles weakly at me as tears rolled down his cheeks.
"For what?" Sam questions.
I look at him sadly never uttering a word. I wanted so badly to tell him how sorry I was in making the deal and how I wasn't there for him, never seeing him grown up even for a little while like with Dean but I could feel the poltergeist coming back and I knew I only had one last chance to save my boys before the poltergeist wrecks havoc upon them.
I walked away from them turning around as I looked up at the ceiling. "You get out of my house. And let go of my son."
I didn't care that I was destroying my spirit. All that mattered were my boys' safety. I'm grateful that I was able to see my boys one last time before I was gone. My boys had grown up to be fine young man and I'm proud to see the way they turned out to be. I really hoped that I would be able to see John tonight with my boys but when only Dean rushed into the room for Sam, I knew that I would never see John again. With that, I burst into flames.
Thanks for reading and reviews are appreciated :)