It'd been almost two months since Buffy'd seen Angel in LA for like five minutes. Yet it'd seemed like she had

been there longer, but she knew that wasn't possible. However it'd affected her so much that when she got back to

Sunnydale she'd told Riley that she couldn't see him anymore. She was honestly sorry to hurt him, but she just

couldn't make herself love him. She knew eventually he would recover and move on. But she herself, she would

always be in love with Angel. There was no question about it. So now almost two months later she still missed him

everyday and couldn't stop thinking about him. Whenever she slept she dreamed about him. And in the past week

or two she had started getting sick when she woke up. She felt that somehow it was connected to Angel, but she

hadn't mentioned this part to her friends because they already thought she was drowning in her love for Angel and

this would only make them more worried. This morning was no different than the past few.


Buffy awoke from her dream a little disoriented until that familiar feeling hit her stomach and she ran out of the

dorm room to the bathroom and threw up what she'd eaten the night before in the toilet. She was starting to worry

a little bit herself. She knew this wasn't normal, but she didn't want to worry anyone by going to the doctor's

office. She knew if she went to her regular doctor that her mother would find out when she got the bill. So instead

she decided that she would head over to the free clinic about a half mile from campus after her classes that

morning. After she finished heaving her guts out she went back to the room and got dressed. Then she headed to

class. Halfway through the class she started to fall asleep. She'd also been more tired lately than she usually was.

She hated feeling like this. Since she couldn't stay awake long enough to learn anything in class anyways she

decided that she'd just leave during break and head to the clinic a little earlier than she had planned. Willow didn't

expect to see her again until around lunch time so she had plenty of time to go there and get back without anyone

knowing she'd gone somewhere. She wasn't sure yet if this was going to be something that she wanted to share

with the gang. She'd wait and decide that when the doctor told her what was wrong with her. No need to worry

them over nothing.


When she arrived at the clinic she had to wait for about twenty minutes before a doctor could see her. Then

the doctor asked her to explain her symptoms so that she had a better idea of what she'd be looking for. Buffy told

her about getting sick and her fatigue and how she'd been kinda moody lately. Sometimes she'd cry over stupid

little things and other times she'd get pissed off for no apparent reason. After hearing all of this the doctor did a

few tests. Awhile later she came back into the room with a sheet of paper in her hand and a bottle of pills. "Ok

Buffy," She said," I seem to have found what's causing you to feel and act this way". Buffy looked at her

expectantly waiting to hear her diagnosis. "You're pregnant," she told her. "I'm what," Buffy said a look of shock

and terror on her face," are...are you sure". "Yes, I'm 99% sure. If you'd like we can do an ultrasound and you can

see your baby," the doctor said," that usually makes it more real when you're this early in your pregnancy ". "Sure

ok," Buffy said scared half to death. When the visit was over Buffy left the clinic with a bottle of prenatal vitamins

and a couple of sonogram pictures of the baby that was growing inside of her. It didn't really look like a baby yet,

but it was definitely there. Buffy couldn't feel it and couldn't make it's shape out in the picture, but she had heard

the heartbeat as she'd watched her baby on the monitor a little while ago. Now she felt sick, but it was a different

kind of sick than she usually felt in the morning. This was a scared sick. She didn't know what to do or what to tell

everyone. The doctor had told her that she was almost two months pregnant, but she hadn't been with anyone two

months ago. She didn't understand at all.


She went back to the dorm room with a million thoughts running through her head. She was scared to death.

She didn't think she could bring herself to tell anyone. She didn't know herself how it'd happened so how in the

world could she explain it to them. She sat there on her bed frozen. She didn't have any rational explanation for

this. Why did this have to happen to her. She already had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Now she was

going to have to raise a little baby too. She tried to push the questions that she couldn't answer out of her head.

Instead new ones crossed her mind. Was it a boy or a girl? Would it be ok? How was she going to provide for this

little baby? She sat there and put her hands on he stomach. "I wish I knew what to think of you little one," she told

the baby inside of her. Just then Willow walked into the room. Buffy quickly removed her hands from her stomach

and tried to look inconspicious. "Hey Buffy," Will said," watcha doin". "Nothing," Buffy said giving her the

innocent look. She just couldn't tell her. She couldn't stand to have the people she loved disappointed in her right

now. She couldn't bear to see the looks on their faces if she told them. "How was class," Buffy asked. "It was

good," Willow said," the professor had all of this really interesting stuff to say on mythology and these energies that

I just got a new book on. It's cool that I can take learn more on stuff related to witchcraft and get credit for it".

Buffy smiled. "How was yours," Willow asked. "Oh your know the usual," Buffy said. "So you slept through it

again huh," Willow asked knowingly. "Yeah," Buffy admitted. *At least it's partially true* she thought to herself.

"You ready for lunch," Buffy asked. She was really hungry as usual. At least now she knew why. "Yeah," Willow

said," just let me grab a different shirt. I got ink on this one during class when my pen started leaking". So they

headed off to lunch and Buffy kept quiet about her little secret


It'd been five months since Buffy'd found out she was pregnant and she still hadn't told anyone. Now she felt

that she was too far along that if she told them now not only would they be upset that she was pregnant, but they'd

also be upset that she hadn't told them when she'd found out. Somehow she'd managed to continue patrolling, but

always being careful not to do anything that'd harm the baby. Also there seemed to be something protecting the

baby. Nothing she could see it was just a feeling. Luckily vamps were no big deal for her and Spike had taken to

patrolling also, because his chip left him unable to hurt people he was only too happy to pick up any slack Buffy was

leaving in the demon world. At least he had something to kill and take out his agressions on. Buffy still couldn't

stand him, but she appreciated any help that she could get. Now she was showing, but she wore baggier clothes and

was really good at hiding it. She'd stopped getting morning sickness awhile ago, but when she had had it she snuck

out of the room so Willow wouldn't know. She'd only gained a little more than 15lbs and she blew it off to everyone

as the famous freshman 15 that all college students tend to gain. She knew they didn't always believe her different

stories, but they never questioned her. She was almost certain none of them suspected what was really wrong. Her

problem now was that summer was fast approaching and it was impossible to wear a lot of clothing to cover up her

pregnancy in California weather. She was already starting to get too hot when the day hit the high temperature

point, and this was about as light as her clothing could get without everyone finding out. She was 7months along

and she knew she was going to have to tell them soon she just didn't know how. She'd taken to changing her clothes

inside of the shower stall in the bathroom so no one could see her and when she changed into pajamas at night she

always kept the lights off. Everyone was busy with their own lives so it wasn't hard for them to overlook Buffy's

evergrowing belly. They knew something was up, but they didn't have time to check into it very far. Besides she'd

been really good at hiding it and how she was feeling. She'd even been able to control her mood swings pretty well.

Sometimes she felt like crying, but if she ever gave into that feeling it was when she was alone.


This was one of those times. She sat on her bed crying so hard that she shook. She couldn't believe what a

mess she was in. She knew she was going to have to quit college. Slaying had made it almost impossible to attend

and now with a baby she just couldn't do it all. Besides even if she had made it through she never would have been

able to get a good job because the good jobs required a lot of time and energy and hers were already directed

elsewhere. She couldn't hold down one of those jobs that took all of your time. She was smart she knew she'd be

able to find something that would be perfect for her with the skills she had. Probably something a little more

physical than typing all day. Which she was actually happy about because she couldn't stand to be stuck sitting at a

desk all day. She needed to be moving. She'd been to see the doctor four times since she initially found out she was

pregnant. She now knew she was having a healthy baby girl. She'd decided to name her Siera Elizabeth Summers.

She'd secretly bought a few baby clothes and hidden them in her closet on the top shelf in a box. Buffy was supposed

to go visit her mother today. She hadn't seen her in a month and her mother had called and asked her to stop by. So

she and Willow and Xander were planning to go over there after Willow got out of class. Then they had made plans

to go to the movies. When Buffy looked at the clock she realized she'd been crying for over an hour and Willow'd be

there any minute. She quickly dried her eyes and took a look in the mirror to see if you could tell she'd been crying.

You could. She opened her make-up drawer, but before she could get out anything to cover it up there was a knock

on the door. "Uh, who is it," Buffy asked. "It's me Xander, Buff," he said," Can I come in". Uh, Sure," Buffy said

knowing if she left him standing out there while she fixed her face there'd be more questions than if she blew off

her puffy eyes on allergies. He opened up the door and when he saw Buffy he knew she'd been crying. "Hey, what's

wrong," he asked worriedly. "What, oh you mean my eyes," Buffy half asked," it's actually just allergies, but

believe me people have been asking me what's wrong all day". She hated lieing to Xander, but she knew that pretty

soon she was going to have to tell him the truth."Oh," he said not convinced. He thought to say something else, but

then Willow walked in. "Hey guys what's up?" she asked in a cheery tone. "Not a thing," Buffy chimed in before

Xander could voice his concerns for her,"You guys ready to go". "Sure," Willow said still oblivious to the slight

tension between Buffy and Xander. She too had noticed Buffy acting stranger than usual, but truthfully she'd been

kinda busy with her wicca thing and had neglected to see what'd been truly bothering Buffy. So they headed out the

door for Buffy's house.


The walk was a typical one for the three of them. They all went on and on about one topic or another and it

seemed the tension that'd just been between Buffy and Xander was of the past. When they got there Joyce was in

the dining room with a bunch of shopping bags. "Hey Mom," Buffy said when they found her in the house," what's

all this". "Oh I just went out and bought a few things," Joyce told her as she continued looking through her bags.

"Just a few, huh," Xander said sarcastically," I'd hate to see what you Summer's women consider to be a lot of

purchases". Buffy gave him a quizzical look. "Well, you guys tend to buy out the whole store everytime you go

shopping," he explained. "I don't buy a ton of stuff everytime... ," Buffy began to protest, but Xander cut her off

with a look. "So what'd you get,' Willow asked Joyce politely. "Well I needed some new clothes and they were

having this sale at the store so I actually picked up a shirt for you too Buffy," she said looking at her daughter.

"Oh," Buffy said surprised," thanks Mom". She plastered a smile on her face hoping to cover up her guilt. "Now if I

could just find it," Joyce said still looking through her bags," ah here it is". She pulled out a navy blue top with bell

sleeves and a low cut neck line. "I remembered you eyeing it a couple of months ago when we took that quick trip

to the mall and it was on sale so I thought that I'd get it and surprise you," Joyce said with a smile on her face.

Buffy forced her face to light up. "Thanks Mom," she said cheerfully," it's really great. I hadn't even realized you'd

seen me looking at it". She'd been eyeing it while her mother was looking at clothes in the store next door, but she'd

hadn't bought it because it was form fitting and that would show her pregnant belly. "Why don't you go try it on,"

Joyce said. "Oh no it'll fit," Buffy said suddenly panicking just a bit. "Well I just wanna see it on you," Joyce said

still happy. "I would Mom, but we've really got going or we're gonna be late for the movies," Buffy said trying to

get away. "No we're not, Buffy," Willow said unknowingly," the movie doesn't start for 45 minutes". Xander knew

something was goin on he just couldn't figure out what. "Buffy what's wrong? Why don't you wanna try on the

shirt?" Joyce asked confused and a little hurt. "I will later," Buffy said starting to get frustrated and cry," I just

don't feel like it right now ok". She'd tried to withhold her tears, but her hormones just wouldn't let her. "Buffy

are you ok," Willow asked worriedly. "I'm fine," Buffy said through gritted teeth as she tried to stop crying.

"Buffy what's going on," Xander finally asked. "Nothing nothing's going on," Buffy shouted. "Buffy why are you

getting all upset," Joyce asked still confused. "I'm pregnant, ok!" Buffy shouted and then she turned and ran up the

stairs into her bedroom and slammed the door. Willow's eyes went wide at the outburst from her best friend. How

could she not have known. Xander's face was solemn. He'd known that something was wrong, but he'd never

suspected that. Joyce was standing there in shock. Her little girl was pregnant. She could hardly believe it.