Where should I start exactly...well if you have half a working brain cell you would have read my update that was posted in my previous (now disbannded) story in the latest chapter. This is a completely new story, in a sense. I'm not going to explain this shit again because it's a waste of not only my time but yours as well so go do that now before starting this shitstorm.

I changed and so did the direction of this story and it is heir apparent, so if you have an issue with it, please review and comment your love or hate of it. I'm actually going to continue with this story unlike Coffee.

DISCLAIMER TIME!

I, the author of this fanfiction do not own ANY of the characters in this story or their names. I have NO RIGHTS TO ANY OF THEM.

so please don't sue me ^-^ Thanks!

As Always,

~Roxas

"Yo Roxas!"

"Roxas!"

I could hear Axel yelling across the room followed by footsteps to my room. I took off my headphones and saved the paper I was working on for class and was greeted by a fiery red head leaning against the wall looking smug as shit.

"Yeah?"

"You have a visitor dude."

I just gave him a blank look, I really don't like the way he enunciated visitor.

"What do you mean visitor dude, I'm not expecting anyone nor really have many friends on campus."

"Fuck I know man, just come out here and see who it is. I didn't let them in but they asked for you through the door. I'm going to class so I'll see you later."

"Later man."

I walked towards the door to let Axel out and there she stood, her short brown hair tied in the back with a friendly smile. Sadly I know that smile and saw it all the time and can tell that it is fake.

"Hey Roxas. Long time no see."

Don't invite her in, don't invite her in, just close the door in her fucking face and walk away.

"When you hate someone and don't want anything to do with them that tends to happen."

"Can we please not start this, I just want to talk okay?"

No, close the door and tell her to go fuck off and continue with your life. Do it. Do it right now.

"I need a cigarette, if you want to talk we can talk outside."

"Can't we just talk here, it's hot as fuck outside and it is nice and cold in you guy's dorm."

"No, we can talk outside. Like I said, I need to smoke. Your choice."

"Fine."

I guess I should start with a little bit of backstory to explain just what in the flying fuck is going on. Towards the end of my first semester of senior year, Kairi and I started to go steady in our relationship. Olette and I had always had a good friendship with each other but there was always some form of attraction between us. We recognized it and decided that because we were both in dating relationships that it was best to just ignore them and be faithful to our partners. To be honest I did have strong feelings for her, she knew almost everything about me and was the one person I could talk about anything with. Whether it was sexual positions or how excited we were for the new Pokemon coming out in the fall. We knew everything about each other which made it so easy to be completely open with each other but at the same time made it easy to be hurt by the other person. Around February, or when all the possible shit hit the fan, things started changing between Kairi and I.

We were a very happy couple with genuine love and respect for each other, and even though I was her first true boyfriend, she loved me with all her heart. Kairi accepted that Olette and I were close friends but I could always tell she had a sort of issue with her. I wasn't sure if it was a jealousy type of thing or just her protective girlfriend emotions. However things between Olette and I starting getting serious.

Long story short, one night Olette and I were hanging out at my house playing Mario Kart and all of a sudden she pauses the game, looks at me and lunges towards me with a kiss. I didn't really know how to respond but it felt right to me, like all my feelings for her were okay and that it wasn't needed to hide them anymore. This lead to making out on the couch which in turn lead to foreplay. She was a virgin and we both just gave each other a look of mutual understanding that said "we are not having sex".

As I drove her home we just talked like nothing had happened, there was no awkward silence or anything and for once I could tell that she wasn't hiding anything emotions from me like she always did. She was genuinely smiling and laughing and looking like a very happy girl, in love...with me.

I slumped into bed, to be honest I didn't feel any real form of remorse for cheating on Kairi with Olette...I had been friends with Olette for as long as I could remember and I figured it would happen eventually...the timing just was absolute shit.

It was a Friday night and I was at work. We were doing inventory of all the games and rearranging them in alphabetical order while Randal was counting money in the registers. Gamestop was a fun job and I really liked the people I worked with, it was just annoying that at the end of every day, stupid fucking kids would mess up the shelves or leave garbage lying around etc. No lie, I found this giant McDonalds ice tea cup full of chew spit. Like who the fuck just sits that down on the ground, purposely hides and then walks away? Whoever you are, I hope you get hit by a cargo truck carrying the chew you buy. Anyway, I was cleaning up when my phone started to ring and I noticed it was Kairi. This was red flag number one. Kairi knows that I didn't get done with work until 11 and not to call me while I'm at work, which means something seriously bad just happened or I am fucked. Either way, I'm not looking at a good situation here.

"Hey Randal, you mind if I take this?"

He was busy counting money and I didn't mean to break his concentration so he just waved his hand in the air like "yeah yeah do whatever, just let me count this."

"Hey babe what's up?"

"Roxas, where are you?"

"Work? I still have an hour left? Is something wrong?"

"How come I hear music on in the background then Roxas?"

Oh right, Randal was blasting music, it's why I like working with him. Whenever we close up he likes to listen to music while we clean up, he was blasting this J Metal band called Maximum the Hormone. I couldn't understand a word they were saying but I like the instrumentals so I didn't complain when he put it on.

"Oh right, Randal has his music on while we close up shop. Hang on."

I got up off the ground and put all the empty game cases down and walked over to the counter where Randal was calculating money and such. I waited for him to stop counting this one stack of bills and he finally noticed I was standing waiting to say something.

"Yeah?"

"Hey can I see the remote for the stereo and turn it down? It's really loud."

"Huh? Oh yeah, sorry. Here."

"Thanks man."

He made a gesture as if he had a phone tucked between his shoulder and ear and mouthed "Kairi?" I nodded my head and mouthed back "Yeah. Not happy."

He just closed his eyes and nodded his head as if he understood and let me be to my own devices.

"So what is going on Kairi, you sound upset."

Yeah, start the conversation with that, that'll go over well.

"What is Olette to you Roxas...be honest with me…"

Shit

"Can we talk about this after I get done with work Kai? I'm kinda busy right now."

"Yeah sure, I'm out in the parking lot. Text me when you get done please…"

So after I finished cleaning up I said goodbye to Randal and made my way outside to the mall parking lot where I could see Kairi standing by her car.

She was in tears and I could tell what kind of conversation I was walking into. She asked all kinds of questions about our relationship and if I truly loved her and then if I had any feelings for Olette. I couldn't lie to her, I already had guilt for cheating on her so I was honest and told her what happened between Olette and I. She wouldn't even look at me, she just kept pacing and crying, I really didn't know what to do or say so I basically just stood there awkwardly until she stopped crying to speak.

"I can't believe you would do this to me Roxas...I...I can't...I can't trust you anymore. Am I not good enough for you that you have to sneak around and cheat on me? Did I do something wrong in our relationship?"

To be honest, she really didn't do anything wrong, it was me. I knew going into dating Kairi that I still had feelings for Olette and I just figured eventually I would lose those feelings and be committed to Kairi because I really did love her...things were just...complicated...like everything else in my life.

"I told you when we first started dating that I only had three rules...three simple rules that you PROMISED you would keep Roxas. No drugs, no lying and don't cheat on me."

"I know Kai, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say…"

"Have you been doing pills while we were dating too? Or was that another promise you just didn't care about?"

She used our relationship in the past tense as if it was already over…

"I did some vicodin in the like the first week or so but nothing after that. I swear."

"Weed?"

Christ.

"A couple of times with Wes and Jesse."

Her eyes lit up even more, "Who's Jesse?"

I was pissed now, she had become even more clingy and emotional as the relationship went on over time…

"Jesse is the tall guy I work with remember. He was making fun of your giant fucking purse you always have."

She seemed to have calmed down when I said that it wasn't "another girl".

"Oh right, I liked him...we was funny."

Silence

"I...I can't do this Roxas. I need to leave and you need to not follow." She turned away, got in her car and left me alone in the parking lot, like a kid who just got dropped off by their parents at summer camp.

I graduated high school and got another summer job. I tried talking to Olette but she was too mad at me and embarrassed that she cheated on her boyfriend with me as well as the fear of Kairi getting back at her. One night after work I decided to try and text her again.

"Olette you there"

"What do you want Roxas"

"What did I do to you to piss you off. Jesus."

"You left me. You choose Kairi over me like a god damn ultimatum and didn't talk to me for weeks. What do you think."

"I thought I really loved her, I'm sorry…"

"Can we meet up to talk"

"No. After you just dropped off the face of the earth I started talking to Gregg again."

Gregg was a guy she worked with who she would talk to me about her really liking him but him being afraid of commitment and a relationship and yeah, messy shit. I actually liked Gregg and had nothing against him.

"You need to back off and leave me alone."

I tried replying saying that I was sorry and still had strong feelings for her but got no response. My friend Hayley who worked with Olette talked to me the next day about it. I had been talking to Hayley about the whole Kairi situation and asking advice.

"Roxas, she really likes Gregg. I think you just need to back off and not get in between their relationship. I know you don't want to hear that but I think you just need to give up finally. She moved on and you need to as well. I hate seeing you like this but it's going to be for the best."

I didn't want to admit it, but she was right, I fucked up our friendship and then my relationship with Kairi. Can't repair a burnt bridge right?

Over summer break I starting hanging out with Axel a lot more because we both signed up to be roommates at college in the fall. Sure enough when it came time for move in day we ended up getting a big dorm suite with of all people, Hayner. I didn't even know he was going to Twilight U but it was nice to know that the three of us would all be living together. Our other roommate is this guy Jake, he's a senior which explains why we were all able to get a suite because all freshman are not aloud suite dorms until sophomore year. The first day was kinda awkward and I honestly felt bad for Jake because Axel Hayner and I already knew each other and were friends, but he warmed up to us very quickly and is a really rad guy. He's pretty built and even though I don't swing that way I would have to honestly say he is a good looking guy.

It was the first weekend for us at Twilight U and we really didn't know what to do, so we left our door open to invite people in and started playing NHL together. Well Axel and Jake were playing, Hayner and I were just sitting there watching because even though I love watching hockey I suck ass at the video games.

"Dude that's total bullshit. That was not offsides."

"Please cry more Axel, I'm still up one goal with two periods left. I will take all the power plays I can get man."

Axel and Jake were sitting on the main big couch in the middle while Hayner and I were on opposite sides in these nice plush chairs. Axel leaned forward and made it clear that "Shit just got real". Jake followed up on this by scoring on the power play making Axel become very frustrated and jokingly pissed off.

"You gettin' a little salty there Axel?"

"Bite me Rox, this isn't over Jake."

Jake just looked at Axel with this smug fuckin smirk and laughed, he was very competitive but not overbearing that it would get annoying. I was going through forum posts on my phone and noticed that someone had posted a picture of the crest of Twilight U but it was distorted and kinda creepy looking, as if it was the Halloween Town to Christmas Town.

I was already starting to adapt to college life and to be honest, I really enjoyed it! New people who didn't know me or my past, new relationships and friends. My whole life was ahead of me and was finally starting to look up. I've never been an optimist as long as I have known myself but I thought maybe, just maybe I could break out of my jaded and pesimistic shell and start a new.

"Hey guys, I'll be right back. Going to go out for a smoke."

A chorus of waves and nods followed soon after as I walked down my long hallway and towards the elevator doors.

This will be easy to get over Olette. Sure she is going to Twilight as well but that doesn't mean I can't meet other people and just get her out of my fucking head right.

I sat down on stairs right infront of my dorm building and lit a cigerette.

Drag

Inhale

Exhale

Repeat

I started people watching as heards of young girls would walk by and notice me smoking outside and then continue talking to their pack of friends.

A voice I recognized came from behind me and my stomach turned inside out as I ashed the bud and instantly lit another.

"You know, if you keep chain smoking like that, you're going to die Roxy."

Just walk forward, don't look back and don't acknowledge that she is behind you.

"Like it matters to you."

Why am I not running away!? You were trying to get her OUT of your fucking mind. NOT put her back IN it!

"You all smoke to get a buzz, I smoke to die quicker."

"John Green, Looking for Alaska, your favorite book. Didn't think I'd remember that huh?"

"What do you want. You don't talk to me all summer and treat me like shit and now act like nothing ever happened or how I still right now have feelings for you when you want nothing to do with me or them?"

I made sure to tone my words carefully and make sure that she could understand that I was not turning around to even look her in the eyes or wanted anything to do with her bitch ass.

"Well you didn't exactly help your case by texting me all the time and trying to get in between me and Gregg when I told you many of time to back off and you never fucking listened. What was I supposed to do. You said you would give me space and time and I never even got that much from you."

"I don't need to explain myself to you. Especially not when I am trying to smoke. If you want to talk, text me later. I'm busy right now."

I made a waving motion away from her and heard footsteps following.

It was a dick move but at this point I really didn't care how she felt, I just wanted to make sure she knew how I felt.

So much for moving on I suppose.

There is always two sides to one story, some stories are just better explained by others who actually care about its ending.