Fara Jacka
a twylyt fanfictun
Aufor's Note: hey yall dis is mah firrrst lyk, reel fanfictun evah fo dat twylyt thang dat's reel poplar nowadayzz so umm lyk iluv da moviez an ifot wai not make a stury.!
Mah naym is Coco Chanel Mirabella Nanette Mamoir ise frum pareey it is a butiful cigty of lits and undtet luff. ivas turned een 1980 by napoleon dinamite ( geddit cuz he's a short bith?) I vas soo exciteeedd to move to ze unitdstatssofamerika. Zze French firez mahk me proud to be freynch becuz everybody in amerika luffs zefreench. And zey do zey French frai so velll. I became a citizen on staten izland and ze statute of liberty mutual waz so breathtaking if I had any breath (geddit cuz I'md ded) oh oui I forgut to mention je suisus vampire. (oh bai ze vay I did not sparkle becuz I am very tan ohkay?)
Zet me tell u about myself. I am tan. Je sui very tan and very beutfiul. I vey 65 pounds and I have ze lolng blak hayr and zehayr a lot of. I have gold I's and zey are very beutfiul people oftencomment zat I has ze very nice nose strukteeir. But a lot of ze people you see zey git mad zat I has zee zeptim piercing. I vear a zot of noir clothing when I do vear clothes for I very much liyk to freqvent ze newd beaches. You do not vear ze clothes in ze newd beaches you see you see.
I travel to amerika in search of fulfulment of new life. And of my vaygina. Sexual stimulations iz very important for me howezer not az important as zey ozer zings, such as animal rightz, and ze corporel punishment. And finding ze lock nesss monsteah. Zez are all high on my priority leest. But I leave New York. I leave it, I leave it and I go. I go to a place. A place called Forkz. Zis is strange name, oui you see? Zis very strange for to you eat viff fork. And so I go to place whevere you eat with name. Yeeess,,,,,,,,,,,;;
I did not was of ze expecting to make ze akquaintyance of ze ozer vampirez peoplz in forkz. It waz raining and snowing, so it vas good day to be outside. You see, zo I do not sparkle because I am tan. Je suis very tan, I do get ze crisp. And so ven it rain, I do not get ze crips. And my skin ees as smooth and smooth as a infahhnts' rearrr.
Alzogh I ave not been of ze seventeen for a vile, I go to high school because I appreciate good education. I say I foreign exchange student from Pareey.
After ze school ver I register I go for walk for in ze woods. And zer I veet three vampires. One was a boy, one vas a girl, and ze last one vas a Jamaican. I like ze Jamaican. Hees hair, not so much. But ze Victoria, she had ze beautiflk hayer. And ven ve meet she get very jealous because James take out his dong. It hard, he vave at me.
Because I am so tan. Je suis very tan, he luff me. Amour. Amor. Amore. Love. Luff. Hope is ze zing viff feathers.