The muddy breeze filled the air. Sasuke removed his hands from the metal safety rail. I didn't blame him, the damn thing was half frozen. The only noise that haunted the marsh were the noises of the vermin that inhabited it. The vermin that would shortly find themselves a treasure trove of half-decomposed flesh. The DNA was no longer readable, thanks to me. I pulled my long coat sleeves down to my palms. The bayou is pretty harsh in December. Tomorrow, I would ride down on my pride and glory, The One Eyed Gator and 'accidentally discover the most grotesque thing I done ever found in the swamp', which would really be something, considering the disemboweled muskrat I cruised over last week.
"We did it, we pulled off a big 'n" Sasuke said, laughter in his voice. Now let me back track. I didn't always live in Nawlins, previously I lived in Konoha, Japan. And before that, America. But let's not go that far. Let's pick up at Japan.
"You're a genius. A madwoman too, but that's alright." Sasuke said, dumbfounded. A pleasant dinner conversation arose, with a joke. A joke that we'd kill Itachi, drop 'im in a swamp, and report it the next day. It became more elaborate as we went. "Wouldn't it be something? We could rot 'im in a freezing pond for a week, add in some bleach, and the DNA? It would be gone. Next day, you and I could report it and slowly find the evidence leading to the arrest of Orochimaru." I laughingly said, almost sinisterly. I stopped the hysterics. The more I thought, the more it made sense to a good forensic hobbyist like me.
With no further ado, we set up a plan. We first had to get into America. I was a citizen, born and bred. It was obvious with my brassy olive eyes and long, deep caramel brunette hair. The problem was getting Sasuke citizenship. I knew how, but we were 14 year olds. That's right. We had another 4 years to plan before we became 18, and we could get married. Not a huge stretch. We were dating. So for those 4 years, we were Orochimaru's underlings. Needless to say, many people wanted Papi Orochi locked away, but not many we could trust. Finally we determined that there weren't any at all. But we had information on our side.
So Sasuke gets his citizenship. Now what? I'll tell you. We needed to pick a home.
"Well, classically, we need a cheap place, near a bog…cover from peeking neighbors…transportation…" Sasuke stated. "But it has to be somewhere we won't mind being…not to mention by a big city. Lots of media. Somewhere stereotyped with morbid." He continued. I was positive I knew the place. I grinned thinking of the puzzle piece fit. "Let me guess, you have an idea?" I nodded. "Y'know, I feel like some gator, what about you?" I asked.
No way, no how we were gonna write down our masterplan. We even had the minute details down. Once we 'found' the body and slowly cracked the case (which required some evidence available to only a sweet couple who lived way out in the bayou), and gotten enough publicity, I would gladly accept the crime TV reproduction offer (of course with a price tag) and it wouldn't be long before the job offers came along. Eventually, I would be on TruTV (previously CourTV) every other day, knocking my rival, the slow, dim-witted criminal profiler Dayle Hinman off the ratings, and I would be filling in.
Sasuke would write a autobiography. The book would sell millions of copies, hands down, Oprah free.
If only it had all gone according to plan after that night.