Chapter 1: Down Down Down
"Alfred! Alfred! Wake up!" "Just 5 more minutes..." A frying pan beat his face and flung him into a nearby tree, "HUNGRY WHAT THE HECK!" "Look Alfred, it isn't proper to be sleeping around in the forest!" "What do you know about proper Miss I Used To Think I Was A Boy-" He was cut off by the clank of that pan hitting his face once again. "You are never to speak of that again! Come on! Show your big sister some respect!"
Alfred didn't answer, he was knocked out and sleeping, mumbling, when she hit him again. "ENOUGH WITH THE FRYING PAN!" Alfred rubbed his head of brown hair and picked up his glasses from the grass. "Eh, Alfred, now that I think about it you were mumbling some strange things in your sleep? Were you dreaming?" Alfred fell back and stared at the clouds, "Yeah... It was a weird dream though? Something about... A game?" "A game? About zombies?" "No! Not this time." "So like Hamburgers? You know, cookin mama?" "... Don't make me hungry, oh! I made a pun!" She slapped him this time, worried about damaging her beloved cooking tool. (By the way if you're wondering why America isn't using Hungary's human name like she is for him, it's because she doesnt like it.)
"Look, Alfred, one day you'll have to grow up, and I can't have you becoming the ass of the world, everyone will blame me. So just try to act more maturely." "But how?" "For one you can stop falling asleep wherever and when ever you want. As a country you'll have to work hard!" "Sigh, fine but only because you asked."
The thing about Alfred's big sister was that she was one of the few female nations, therefore she could get any guy she wanted. Alfred, Aka America, only wanted one and decided to listen to Hungary, in hopes to catch one person's eye. "Oh right! Alfred I brought you a book!" "Oh! Great! I've been looking for some new manga!" "no... It's a real book! With words! No pictures." "What!" "It's about a girl-" "was she hot?" "let me finish! Its about a girl who falls down a rabbit hole and finds a magical world and-" "Sounds lame." "what? But I didn't even-" "Books are books and books are no fun." "sigh, then why don't we play a game?" "WOAH LIKE SKYRIM!" "... ENOUGH! let's play a card game?" "Alright, I like Texas hold-" "No more puns! I'll be right back with the cards, don't do anything stupid."
She left and Alfred waited under an apple tree bored out of his mind, "Man, maybe I'll take a nap while I wait, a hero needs his rest after all." he started to close his eyes when he saw something of great interest. "A rabbit? No, that's a snow rabbit? But those don't live near me... AND IT HAS PANTS!" He ran after it, "Wait! Darn it I must be sleeping, no rabbit would be so nicely dressed, and it's too warm for a scarf?" He sat down and closed his eyes leaning back when something poked his cheek, "Ahem, you chase me da?"
He opened his eyes and the rabbit was there... Talking to him! In a Russian accent no less? "HUH!" "Oh you are hopeless," said the rabbit who transformed into a person! He was tall with white hair, a white scarf, and white rabbit ears? The giant picked Alfred up, "What the heck is going on!" "Don't scream in my ears comrade." "Put me down right now!" "No can do," then he sprinted off into the bushes. They came to a huge hole. "Since when has that been there! IS THERE A UFO AT THE BOTTOM!" "Don't be silly comrade. It's just a hole, and if there's a hole we know, we go down it!" "Wait what!"
The tall man dropped Alfred into the pit and quickly followed. "NO I CAN'T DIE NOW! I HAVEN'T PLAYED ASSASSIN'S CREED YET!" "You don't want to get dere yet? You must like falling comrade. I especially like it, because I'm with you, da? Sadly we cannot fall forever, shame. Our little trip has come to an end." Their speed lessened, and they slowly touched the ground. They were on a table in a long room full of windows, chairs surrounded the table and each chair had a place setting with different patterns on the card. One even had his mark of red and white stripes and white stars on blue. "What is this place? I feel like I've been here before?" "Maybe you have, maybe you haven't. That's up to you da?" "Where are we?" "Welcome to Wonderland, Alfred my dear." Alfred looked out the windows and each one showed something different. A clock tower, a mansion, a castle, and a theme park?
"Wonderland? I've never heard of it? ... AND HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME!" "Why wouldn't I? After all I am very much in love with you." All Alfred could think was that he was kidnapped by a stalker. "Right then, Alfred I want you to drink this medicine." He pulled out a little bottle with a strange liquid inside. "NO WAY? IM AMERICA AND I KNOW A DRUG WHEN I SEE ONE!" "No no that won't do. Unless?" "huh?" "You'd rather drink it... From my mouth?" (Ouran reference! Yay!) "WOAH WHAT!" The man quickly opened the bottle and poured it in his mouth and took Alfred by his waist and head and kissed him, forcing him to drink the strange liquid. The kiss ended after a moment and the rabbit man released Alfred. "That was medicine of the heart, now that you've drank it you must play the game." "Game? You said nothing about a-" The man walked toward the door. "Where are you going!" "By the way my name is Ivan, Let the games begin Alfred." He stepped out.
"THAT STUPID PERVERT! THAT WAS THE WORST KISS EVER, well actually it wasn't a bad kiss, BUT I WON'T ACKNOWLEDGE IT! AND WHAT THE CRAP DID HE MAKE ME DRINK! That's it I'm gonna kick his Russian ass!" Alfred ran out the door only to find the world spinning and he fell over, when he opened his eyes he was in a forest, sadly not the one from his home. He started walking in a random direction. There he saw the mansion from the window and thought, "Oh! I'll go ask whoever lives there where he is! After all everyone around here should know about the local communist rabbit eared pervert?" He walked up to the gates and tried to get in, but they woulnt budge. Then he heard a pissed off Italian accent, "Heya you! What's are you doinga here!" he turned around to see two little twins, one in red and one in blue. One was pissed off looking and the other looked clueless. "Ve~ maybe it's the pasta delivery girl?" "Oh! Maybe you're right Feli? Do you have the order for a Romano?" "Huh? Uh no I don't have any pasta but-" "No pasta?" said the one in blue, his clueless face turned into a furious one. The one next to him in red made a similar face, "very well then. You are-ah tressapassing. So we willa kill you nowa." (I know my italian accent sucks.) "Never a lie about the pasta!" they pulled out a giant fork and knife. Alfred couldn't hold in his laughter, if was too funny of a sight.
"was zum Teufel macht ihr!" The two Italian boys stopped and turned around to see a tall German man with brown rabbit ears and was also well dressed. "Ve~ Ludwig She lied about our pasta!" cried the one in blue, referred to by the one in red as Feli. "You two were supposed to guard the gates! Not play hooky with the pasta take out boy!" "Shut up potato bastard. You cana suck my spaghetti and meat balls." "Mein Gott! Treat our female guest with more-" Alfred stopped listening past that, female? What were they talking about? Did that matter there was another nut job with rabbit ears, a potential pervert. "Hey have you guys seen a rabbit eared pervert around here?" asked Alfred. Feli raised his hand, "Sure! Ludwig here is about as big of a pervert as they get! He owns these DVDs with-" Ludwig karate (lol shinigami chop! Soul eater!) chopped little Feli's head. Then the red one jumped in to defend his brother and soon enough everyone was yelling. Alfred pretty much figured that nothing would come out of hanging there.
Alfred turned around and knocked into someone, "oh my bad." Alfred caught eyes with the handsome man, "not a problem sweetheart. My my that dress looks smashing on you." Not only was he sexy as hell, but he had a British accent! He looked just like- Alfred hurried away not wanting to look too long at the Englishman. "How rude. She blew you off Arthur, must be an outsider," said Ludwig. "How interesting? This should keep me from my boredom?" Alfred stopped running once he could no longer see the large house, "Relax Alfred. There's no way that was him, just because they have practically the same face and eye brows doesn't mean that-" he stopped talking, not wanting to think about it. Then he noticed something, "SINCE WHEN WAS I IN A DRESS! NO WONDER THEY ALL THOUGHT I WAS A GIRL! so that drug changes clothing? ILL KILL IVAN!"
He saw he was at the clock tower? But from the distance in the window that couldn't be right? The walk was way to fast? He also noticed it was night now, but he could have sworn the sun was just out? Alfred went into the clock tower and while exploring found the room where Ivan first took him. Someone was gazing out the window? Though Alfred could barely see him. "Matthew someone is here," said a high pitched voice. The man turned around and he looked almost just like Alfred! Only his hair was longer and his eyes said he was a frail person. "Kumajima! Oh no there really is someone here!" his voice trembled with fear, but he mustered up some courage, "G-g-get out!" Matthew was shaking. "Eh hey dude chillax, I'm not gonna-" "I- I said get out!" his little one hair curl bounced up and wobbled from the man's shaking. "Alright alright jeez. Dude lighten up. I was just Kidnapped and put in a dress by some-" "T- that's irrelevant! Out! G-go home!" "I wish I could!" Alfred yelled back driving the frail Matthew into a corner to cower.
"Look I was taken to this place by some freak show communist rabbit man who gave me so strange ass medicine and now I'm in a dress and confused as hell! So quit yelling!" "m- medicine?" "Who are you again?" it was a bear that had the high pitched voice. "come on you just said my name kumakuma?" "I want snacks," and the bear left. Matthew started crying softly. "Uh did you say you knew something about that medicine?" Alfred said not really paying attention. "D-do you have the bottle?" "yeah I think, oh here you go," he said taking the bottle out of his skirt pocket. "Uh Matthew was it? You wouldn't happen to have a pair of pants or something I could borrow would ya?" "You drank this?" "yeah?" "Then no that's against the rules of the game. Welcome to wonderland outsider," he said cheerfully, "So this rabbit you mentioned, were you talking about Ivan?" "yeah!" "Congratulations! You've been successfully smuggled into the country of hearts and now to stay alive you must play the game and follow the rules!" "Woah what! I've been hearing about this game thing a lot! What the heck is it and what are the rules!" "You can't think about the game, you can't talk about the game, and you can't hear about the game." (get the reference?) "Fuck you." "Hahaha but seriously come with me to my room and I'll explain things, Kay?" "fine."
"oh by the way my name is Matthew Williams, and you are?" "Alfred Jones, the hero!" "Haha sure you are." "Was that sarcasm I heard?" "The game." "Grrrr..." they went two rooms down and sat at a tea table across from each other. "Yo yo got any snacks?" "You barge into my house, in the middle of the night-" "fine fine, just explain to me what's going on?" "Alfred, you are an outsider. Normally outsiders come of their own free will but you were forced. It's dangerous for you to walk around in ignorance. From what I've seen out my window you were with the hatter? Ludwig and the Mario Brothers, I mean the Italian twins are all quick to wield their weapons. I'm surprised you managed to go there and leave with your head in tact?" Alfred gulped remembering what had happened there, maybe he shouldn't have laughed? "wait a Minute? They were getting violent, but this British dude stopped them?" "Do you mean Arthur? That's odd for a mafia boss?" "HE'S THE HEAD OF THE MAFIA!" "Yes. His crime syndicate is known on the street as the hatters. As you know Arthur Kirkland is currently in charge." "Arthur? Then-" "What?" "Never mind, continue to explain Mattie." "please don't call me that? Point is, that group isn't right in the head. Try to avoid them if you can." Alfred Nodded. Arthur huh, didn't have to ask him twice.
"I'll explain the other territories," he went on, "Heart Castle is ruled by the Queen of Hearts... She... He... It... Don't ask. The theme park is managed by a man called Roderich Edelstein. Just don't call him Austria." "Why not?" "Just don't. It sparks his inner- you know what never mind. You are currently at the clock tower plaza, it's at the center of all the territories. It's neutral." "neutral?" "oh right, the territories all want to kill each other." "so wait, the mafia and the royal family are at war... WITH A THEME PARK? HAHAHAHA! THATS RICH!" "It's not funny, war is a very serious thing, quit making an ass of yourself!" "Why don't they just get together here and talk it out?" suggested Alfred, stupidity in his voice. "They can't, war is part of the game. I know it's stupid. I just wish I could end it, but i am the simple clock maker, no one cares what I have to say, and that stupid Ivan is always sitting on me." It was then Alfred realized why this man was so powerless and why his voice had no audio, but he didn't care enough to mention it. "So you hate that pervert rabbit to?" Alfred's eyes were sparkling, "so does this mean you'll help me get home? Just tell me how an I'll go by myself." "It doesn't work like that. You can't get home, not by yourself. And I can't take you, it confusing but it's part of the game." "Gah this is so-" Alfred noticed out the window that the sun was out yet again, "What? But it was just night time?" "Relax, it's the way of this world. Time is pretty random here." A dream? The random thought echoed in his head. He caught himself accidentally saying it out loud. "Alfred if you want to believe this is a dream then go ahead. But you'll never get home like that. Normally you could go home whenever you wished it, but thanks to that medicine you drank, you must play to get home. And what fun is a game with one player? The point is to play to get home, that is why leaving on your own is impossible. Take a look at the bottle." "Oh! It was empty before but now there's a little watery stuff in there?" "the more you meet and interact with people the more it will fill up. Once it's full you can go home." "So it's like EXP! This will be easy I'm great at video games!" "Sigh, good luck then?"
TonoTime
Hahaha! So I was thinking of leaving it at this? If you like it leave a comment and I'll continue! BTW just wanted you to know that Ivan was originally going to be nightmare but being the white rabbit fit better. If you haven't read or watched Alice in the country of hearts do so before reading this! XD mangafox I think still has it. If not bookstore power! I don't own hetalia or Alice in the country of hearts, but I'm sure you knew that lol!