All Twilight characters and story line belong to Stephanie Meyer

Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation

Introduction:

Part 1, Funeral Pyre

In which Leah drives the Cullen's from Forks and burns their house down, to avenge the death of her father, the destruction of her life and prevent the Cullen's from causing the creation of any more werewolves.

Part 2, It's a new dawn, it's a new life.

In which Leah goes with the Cullen's to New Hampshire, where the Cullen's children are enrolled at Dartmouth College, to set up a new home in the White Mountain National Forest and build a new life for Leah.

Part 3, Dancing in the moonlight.

In which Leah travels across the country like a nomad, using the skills the Cullen's have taught her to search for her missing link, her imprint.

Part 4, Volturi

In which Leah and her new partner are "invited" to visit the Volturi, as Aro would very much like a "Guard Dog" of his own and her new partner reveals some unusual talents to win their freedom.

Epilogue: The happy ending, setting up home in La Push as equal partners.

Introduction:

I have read the books, watched the films and perhaps most importantly listened to the audio version of the books, wonderfully narrated by Ilyana Kadushin and Matt Walters. To me the audiobooks are magic, preventing me from skim reading, giving an extra dimension to the text.

At the end of Breaking Dawn I was struck by the fate of Leah Clearwater, no happy ending for her, she lost Sam and then Jacob, destined it seemed to always be the bitter ex-girlfriend, excluded from everyone around her. I was having nightmares about what had happened to Leah, waking up crying at 5 am. My dreams were so vivid, as if Leah was Renesme's gift to show her life to me, urging me to tell her story.

It's not unusual for authors to leave secondary characters hanging in limbo; Jodi Picoult does it all the time and challenges her readers to use their own imagination as to what might have happened to those characters, to give them a life of their own. So that's what I have tried to do for Leah.

I apologise for my writing, I only studied English to age 16. Part 1 is full of angst, self-pity and depression. You have been warned! But then the book opens up and becomes more positive.

I wrote the outline of this story over two frantic days, just jotting down the timeline and central scenes, then I have steadily worked my way through the story from the beginning.

Constructive criticism welcome :-)

Enjoy!

Part 1 Chapter One: Memories

The Volturi came gliding out the mist, in smooth formation, soundlessly, like wraiths bringing death and destruction. At a single alpha command from Sam we rose and padded into the clearing. Our thoughts were as one, we scanned the approaching enemy looking for their strengths and weaknesses, allocating targets, preparing to fight.

The formation stopped and Sam ordered us to be still, absolutely still, no one was to move, no one was to make a noise. We held our breath and waited.

We watched and listened as the drama unfolded in front of us, our sense of smell overwhelmed with the sickly sticky stink of vampires and still we waited. The killing of Irina had us poised to attack as we watched in stunned horror, but the Cullen's managed somehow to avert further bloodshed. I wanted to attack, I wanted to kill, I wanted to die, but Sam's command had us held, locked under his will.

In the end it was Bella and her new found gift for mind shielding that appeared to defeat the Volturi, defeated without a fight, violence and carnage averted and lives saved. At Sam's release we howled in relief, relief from the stress, relief from the alpha command, relief from the threat, the pack as one, one pack one mind.

As the Cullen's congratulated themselves we turned back into the woods at Sam's command and made our way home, the young one's excited, the older one's triumphant, and above all Sam's relief that there were no wolves who would not be going home that day.

Of course having so many vampires still at the Cullen's meant that we had to maintain patrols and that included Seth and I as Jacob had transferred us to Sam's pack for the duration of the battle, but for now I phased back, put on clothes and went home to reassure mum and tell her what had happened.

"Hi mum, it's over, the Cullen's won, no one got hurt and Seth is Ok"

Oh, what the ? Mum was not at home ….

I phoned Charlie's house, Sue was there and Seth had already told them all was OK. Sue asks me to come over but I declined. I have nothing in particular against Charlie and he had been a huge comfort to her, with losing dad and us becoming werewolves. The vampire dad with the werewolf mum. How ironic, but at least they had each other, someone to talk to, and Seth had the other wolves but who did I have? I was the only female wolf in the pack!

Our house felt empty, like my mood, so I went for a walk, still on edge from the stress of the confrontation. At the beach the wolf boys are celebrating and I felt in no mood for celebration, I envied them their carefree fun but did not want to inflict my depression them. Let them celebrate; there would be time enough in the future for reflection. At least the Cullen's would be moving soon, heading off for Dartmouth College and that would be it for this generation of wolves, apart from the occasional vampire nomad who might stray to this side of the Olympic peninsula.

My wonderings by quiet paths brought me to the grave yard. Snow had fallen over the graves, a soft white mantle, it would not last, and already I could feel a change in the wind direction bringing warmer air from the sea. Rain was on its way to wash away the snow and expose the graves. For now the graves were covered but I knew which one was my father's, I could remember all to vividly the day of the burial, the pain, the remorse, the grief, the loss, the waste. I had not had time to say goodbye, to say "I love you", no time for grieving, the need to be strong for my mum, for my little brother, not knowing what to say to the other mourners.

As a wolf I could run away from here, I could try to forget, to bury the grief and the anger, but as Leah there was no escape, nowhere to run, no future to look forward to, only the pain of loss, loss of my father, loss of my childhood, loss of my future, loss of my identity.

I feel on my knees, tears running silently down my cheeks. "Dad, why did you go, why did you leave me here? Was it my fault dad, was I the one who struck it down, was it too much for you that I had become a wolf? Did I let you down?" The loss was too much to bear and I keeled over, curled up in agony, lost in my pain, as much physical now as mental.

Darkness fell but I did not notice, voices called my name but I did not hear them, lights shone on me but I did not see them, rough hands lifted me an carried me home but I felt nothing, my mother's voice called out in aguish but I was lost on the planes between this world and the next calling out for my father.

In the days that followed I withdrew further into myself, refusing all food and drink. In my delirium I was burning, screaming in agony, surrounded by tongues of fire. Slowly faces appear in the flames, my father, my mother, my brother and one other without a face, the harder I stared at the faceless flame more it faded until the fire went out, was it Sam, was it Jacob, was it someone else ?

The burning eases and I am lying under a sky full of stars on a featureless plain, my family are sitting in a circle talking to a 4th person, they turn and beckon to me but the faster I run to them the further away they are, until I collapse, exhausted.

I hear Seth and Sam calling me. I feel sorry for Seth and my Mum and I want to reassure them that I am alright but Sam; I was not coming back for Sam, to have to feel again the pain of love lost. What idiot said that it was better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, because it sure didn't feel that way?

I hear Jacob, using his alpha command to try and bring me back to the living. Jacob who would not let me leave, to live as a wolf for the rest of her life, would not give me a chance escaping my past, to be as one with my wolf self. Jacob says that I must be strong for Sue and Seth; they are so worried about me. The sense of guilt consumes me, pulling me down and turning me in even more on myself.

Then I sense a vampire, there is no mistaking that stink, even in the planes between worlds where all other senses are dimmed and cold. I hear worried voices thanking Carlisle for coming to see me. I curse, trust the tribe not to call in a human doctor in case their secret gets out, instead they turn to our mortal enemy. Carlisle Cullen, a vampire doctor, the most human and caring of all the Cullen's, and also the ultimate cause of all my misery and heartache.

Perhaps here was an opportunity for revenge; could I attack in my weakened state? I breathed deeply, using that burning vampire stink to pull dregs of adrenalin out of my body and stretched to try and bring life back into my muscles. Opening my eyes I searched for his position, turning to spring at him but my body betrays me. I am so weak that I manage only to fall out of bed and crash to the floor. Jacob and Seth rush in to find out what happened, while Carlisle steps back against the wall of my tiny bedroom. I struggle to my knees growling in rage and hate but Jacob and Seth restrain me until exhausted my struggles fade.

Carlisle watches warily and tells me that they cannot help me unless I tell them what is wrong with me. I spit my defiance, trying to cursing him to hell and back for destroying my life, except that my mouth is so dry I can't even spit.

I whisper "What's wrong with me? You are what is wrong with me, you are the one who has destroyed my life, you have destroyed me as surely as a stake through my heart, only longer and more painfully."

Carlisle looks warily at Jacob and Seth. It's Seth who hesitates, then says "Perhaps it would help Leah if you listen to her story. You are the first person to get any kind of a reaction from her since we found her. If you can keep her talking we might be able to figure out what's wrong with her". I look at him, a monster pretending to be human and doubt that he would ever care about me or my story. "Leah", he says, "We, my family and I, owe you so much for what you did for us. If it would help you to tell me your story then I will listen and try to help."

I felt torn, I want to rip him to shreds but my body won't let me. Even if I could attack him it would be like attaching a granite boulder unless I phased, at which Jacob would use his Alpha command to stop me. How ironic that for all my wolf strengths the only weapon available to me right now was words.

My mum appeared in my bedroom doorway asking if there is anything she can do to help, her eyes take in the tableau, then switch back to me with a worried frown. "Leah, honey, you look awful, you must drink something". I would cry if I had any tears, instead I nod and ask for water, anything to hand.

I ask Seth to help me sit up, my mum returns with water "There Leah, I will make you some soup now, does anyone else want anything?" They shake their heads and she goes back to the kitchen. I take a sip, then a gulp and sigh deeply, the vampire stink burns my throat and I gag, a bitter reminder of the vampire standing motionless against the wall.

I started talking quietly of the time before the Cullen's, when we were a happy family, of my love for Sam and the bitterness of my loss when he became a wolf and left me for my cousin, Seth and I becoming wolves, the death of our father from the shock of seeing us transform, my loss of fertility, our mother's tears when Seth and I had gone to defend the Cullen's, putting ourselves at risk and becoming outlaws from our own tribe, how I felt still excluded, doomed to always be the bitter outcast, chained to La Push. All this because of the Cullen's.

Seth and Jacob stir uneasily during my story but do not interrupt, perhaps more worried about upsetting me than in trying to argue with me. Mum brought my soup and stayed by the door, her eyes full of tears as she also listened to me. My poor mum, so much loss, so much pain but at least she still had Seth, who comforted me as I finished my story with my time at our father's grave.

Carlisle apologises for the consequences, however unintentional, of their presence and asks what he can do to help. His family are moving to Dartmouth in a couple of weeks and their departure should allow the tribe to resume normal life.

I sip some of mum's soup, feeling my energy starting to return. At least now I might be able to spit at him. "Will your leaving turn back the clock?" I ask. "Will I get Sam back? Will I get my life back? Will we get our dad back? Or are you just walking away, leaving others to sort out your mess. Are you abandoning us, after we helped you in your hour of need?"

"Leah, I won't walk away, I won't leave your family to suffer because of us. "He sighed deeply, "I'm sorry Leah, so sorry, I wish I could turn the clock back for all of you but that is beyond even us. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

I look at him directly, glaring at his golden eyes, "You could put me out of my misery and kill me now". "Nooo " screams my mum who comes to hug me and Seth. "My poor baby" and rocks me in her arms.

I turn my glare on Jacob, the wolf turned traitor. "or you could let me leave the tribe to be as one with my wolf self, like we were going to before you imprinted on the mutant child." My mum sobs "Leah don't go, don't leave us like Jacob did."

Jacob sighs in frustration and Carlisle asks him to explain my request, "When Bella and Edward got engaged I ran away and spent time living up north as a wolf, feeling nothing but the needs of my wolf self. That helped me to forget everything human, to leave my pain behind. Then when Leah was helping to guard your family I showed her how to let her wolf instinct take over and we talked about leaving together, about supporting each other."

"Traitor" I mutter. My mum looks at me accusingly, "I saw what Jacob leaving did to his father, I was the one who had to support Billy and you will NOT do that to me, do you hear!"

Jacob continues "Then Renesme came along and now I am bound to her and I fear that if I let Leah go wolf alone then she will not return. I had a pull to Bella that I could not escape but Leah does not have that pull, if anything the Sam issue will push her further away. We have to find something else, some other way to help her."

Carlisle's phone rings, he takes it out of his pocket with a muttered apology but hesitates when he sees who is calling. He answers the phone "Alice, what do you see". I hear Alice's voice pleading

"Don't do this Carlisle; it will tear our family apart !"

"Do you have an alternative ?"

"Does she mean more than us ? Your own family ?"

Carlisle hangs up and sighs. "Leah, we will find a way to help you. I am a surgeon, not a miracle worker, but if this was an infected wound then I would clean the wound before stitching it back together again and protecting it until the wound is healed. "

"Sue, I think that Leah should tell her story to all my family, so that they all understand the pain and suffering that we have caused by our presence. It is possible that giving her an outlet for her feelings will help and it is also possible that as a family we may be able to come up with a way to help her recover to the point where she can return to you."

I growl a refusal but mum looks hopefully at Carlisle "Could you make her better ? Can you heal her ?" Carlisle sighs again, "We will try Sue, I don't know how long it will take but we will do everything we can for Leah, I promise that we will take good care of her." Mum turns back to me, "please Leah, for me". Seth also looks happy, he trusts the Cullen's and seems to think that Carlisle is some sort of miracle worker. Jacob though is looking cautiously at Carlisle, worried perhaps by Alice's words.

I finish my soup and consider my options. I could refuse to go, just curl up here again and wait for the end or I could go with the vampire to meet his family ! Neither were appealing options but maybe if I annoyed the vampires enough they would kill me, maybe I would get a chance to attack one of them. That thought cheered me up."

Carlisle turns to Jacob, "I will go ahead and let the others know, could you bring Leah and whatever she needs to stay with us until she is better ?" Jacob nods and my mum adds "Carlisle, I will pack a bag for Leah now, and Jacob, I will call Charlie to ask if he can take us to the Cullen's. Seth can go with you to look after Leah."

"No mum, Seth should stay here to look after you" I interrupt, "I'm sorry mum, I'm sorry to do this to you and I can't take Seth away from you", turning to Seth "Please Seth look after mum for me ?" Seth hesitates and looks from me to mum and nods "mum we can always visit Leah and I don't want to leave you alone." My mum escorts Carlisle to the door and I sense that she won't push the point, perhaps concerned about Seth as much as about me.

I curl up on my bed as mum bustles around me packing a bag with clean clothes, worrying about me and promising to visit me as often as she can. She sits by me and strokes my face, "my poor Leah, get well soon my baby, and come home as soon as you can."

Charlie is his usual taciturn self, waiting until we are in his cruiser before asking what was wrong with me. Mum and Jacob hesitate and I butted in "Do you remember how Bella was when Edward left ?", he nodded warily. "Well that's how I feel. Charlie, please look after mum for me, you know better than anyone else what she is going through." Charlie nodded again and I felt that I had done what I could for mum and Seth, time now for the Cullen's.