Real A/N I've long decided that PJO is the easiest fandom to write in. I've also decided that Mary Sue parodies are hilarious. And PJO has an abundant of Mary Sues... Bashing time!

In case you can't read the spoof author's note below (I sure can't), here is my offical disclaimer:

Percy Jackson and the Olympians (and Heroes of Olympus) belong to Rick Riordan, along with all offical rights. I just play in the sandbox. (or to be more accurate, blow up the sandbox)

A/N omg gaaaiiss!11!1!1 this is my first story! :DDDDD dont flameee me plzzzz!1!

i dont own this stuff rcik riordan does. but it will be myne somedaiii!1!11! ;)))

My name is Sara Elizabeth 'Awesome' Jackson. Yeah, JACKSON. I'm, like, Percy's little sister! Of course, I didn't know that until I got to camp, and then he loved me! But let me start over with my horrible, tragic past that's totally in need of sympathy!

I grew up with my horrible, mean, ugly step mom. She always made me do chores and make food and I never got anything nice in return. My clothes were old and ragged and it totally hid my inner beauty. I had to sleep on an old sac in the shed in the back yard.

Every once in a while, she hit me and yelled really mean things at me (but I can't tell you what those were! I'm a perfect little angel who never says mean stuff!) and afterwards I would run off into the woods and meet up with my wolf friends that I could communicate with—'cause I'm just that awesome.

I didn't know it at first, but my wolf friends who had practically raised me we actually the wolves of Artemis! OMG! Or no: Oh my gods!

When I found out, I was so shocked! How could I, a mere girl with a bad past, be meeting someone as awesome and cool as Artemis? She's a goddess and I'm just dirt! But, like, when she came up to me, I bowed, and she told me to stand up because I was just as awesome as her. I couldn't believe it! Then she instantly waved her arm and my ratty clothes were gone and replaced by a tight-fitting black leather outfit that totally hugged my form and showed off my perfectly curved body. I noticed all the shiny silver jewelry too. Wow! Then Artemis gave me a mirror to look in and I noticed that my luscious golden hair—excuse me, locks of hair—was perfectly piled on top of my head and pinned with silver clips. My fair-skinned face (perfect, as the rest of me) was perfectly framed by the stray bangs that slightly curled on their way down my face. My emerald-sea green eyes were shining and you could see the specks of gold in them. I didn't have any makeup on. I didn't need it! I looked absolutely gorgeous just by myself.

"And now," Artemis was smiling at me. "I'm going to give you immortality!"

I gasped and my eyes shone with tears of joy. Omigosh! I've always wanted this! (I read all the books on Greek Mythology that my mom had for some reason. Immortality was my favorite fantasy! And now it's coming true! [And I'm totally not phased at all by the fact some random lady is completely rewriting my life and I'm not going to question it!]) Artemis had me say a few things as a vow that I can't remember now—I was too excited!—and then I felt a warm sensation inside me and instantly knew that I was immortal. I squealed with joy again—still in an amazingly cute way—and hastily bowed and curtsied to Artemis.

"Thank you! Thank you so much! Arigato, Artemis-sama!" (Oh my gods! I loved anime, too! I learned Japanese in, like, an hour! Just from one anime! I didn't even need the subs! [If you have no idea what anime is, forget it, it's not important now. Just an inside joke to that kind of Sue...])

Artemis smiled kindly and said back, "No, my lady, I must thank you. For what, who the Hades knows." She bowed deeply, and all her wolves did the same.

I nodded. "Of course." (I totally knew that was coming.)

Artemis straightened herself and said, "Now, daughter of Poseidon, allow me to escort you to Camp Half-Blood where all heroes are safe to train. I'm sure you will instantly be popular and be the best warrior in the camp."

I nodded. "Thank you. Now- wait! I forgot! I have to say goodbye to my mom!"

Artemis frowned. "I do believe that your mother is a crazy, sadistic -BLEEP- (I don't cuss! It'll, like, totally ruin my innocence!)

"Why," Artemis continued. "Would you want to ever see her again?"

I put my hands on my hips. I needed to take charge. "Because she's my mom! I can't just leave her! She's not exactly the nicest to me, but I'm way to good of a soul to abandon her!"

And so, after that speech, I started marching off back towards my house. "Wait here!" I ordered Artemis.

She stood up straight. "Yes, ma'am!"

I was getting nervous as I neared the house. What if my mom hated me even ore because of what I looked like now? I already knew she hated me because I was prettier than her, but now... oh my gods, what if she tries to hurt me again?

I slowed down as I entered the yard and peeked through the window. There she was, watching her favorite TV show. I sucked in a breath, gathered my courage, and opened the door.

She instantly turned around to the noise. I sheepishly looked at her as she stared in disbelief.

"Sara... Is that you?"

I nodded hesitantly, and she gasped as she jumped up and rushed over to me. I braced for the beating I knew was coming, but instead, I felt warm arms wrap around me. I stood in shock. My mom... was hugging me!

"I always knew it, Sara! You would find your inner self!" My mom sniffed. "I'm- I'm so happy!" She was crying now, and I embraced her back.

"I love you so much mom (I'm totally going to ignore your change to an alter ego and the past I've had with you!)."

She gripped me tighter. "I love you too. Now," she released me, wiping away tears. "You need to go with Artemis to Camp Half-Blood. It's the only place you'll be safe. Please."

"But mom!" I started to protest.

Her mouth turned to a thin line. "No 'buts'. You're going. My little princess MUST be safe."

I hung my head. "Yes, mom."

After a heartfelt goodbye, I made my way back to Artemis and her wolves with a determined (but still pretty, even after my crying episode) face. "Let's go."

And so we traveled half way across the country to New York where Camp was located. We had to fight off lots and lots of monsters on the way there, though. But I figured out that I had natural talent with pretty much every weapon in existence, so I fended them off and saved everyone every time!

When we got to the hill where the camp was located, I was exhausted. But Artemis gave me this really cool little brownie looking thing that tasted like warm, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. I instantly felt re-energized and gulped the rest of the ambrosia down, but too late I realized my mistake. I wasn't supposed to eat all of it! It would burn demigods up! I felt a fire starting within me that soon became unbearable. I screamed—a scream that sounded like high, tinkling bells; really nice to listen to—and soon everything went black.

A/N omg! wats goin 2 hapen 2 sara elizabeth!1?/ u got 2 w8 til nxt ch to find outtt!1! review gaiiiisss!1!11!

Real A/N Oh gods, you have NO IDEA how easy this is to write. (I'm worried about myself now.) It's so easy to just push your Mary Sue over the top. XD I'm having fun~