Author's Note: Hello there! This is a first story and I hope you enjoy it. Leave me reviews so I can hear you're thoughts! Thanks.

Disclaimer: All known characters and locations are not mine, the concept of this story however is my own. M for mature themes and future smut. Slash/AU. Jasper + Edward.

~ And I sometimes reach to rub an aching leg, but they've been dust for over a decade and you're a limb I've lost but somehow I still feel it. ~

The last time I saw Edward Cullen was at our high school graduation party. We kissed, he ran and I never saw him again. We met through our little sisters, Alice and Rose. In kindergarten Rose ran up to Edward and his little sister, she asked her if she could play dolls with her and Alice accepted, running off to join Rose.

I was left with a shocked looking Edward, his hair was an uneven mess, as if he hadn't bothered to brush it when he left bed, his eyes were the shade of the woods around Forks, and he looked like he had never seen sun. Not that I was much better, the blond curls didn't exactly help with not looking like a part of a boy band.

"Um... so... is she always like that?" He asked, his voice a rough around the edges.

"Yeah, she's a little ball of energy," I replied, fond of the little girl who danced down the stairs in her pyjamas, as she got ready for her first day at a new school.

"So… You're the new kid?" He asked, shoving his hands inside his coat pockets, it was cold here and I really wasn't used to the damn chill in the air. I liked the sun, but in this town, it seemed to have died on the border.

"Yeah," I answered in a dead tone, more distracted by this kid's eyes than anything he was saying.

"So you'd be starting at Forks High today?"

"In an hour, apparently."

"Cool." He answered before clearing his throat awkwardly, "Gotta go" He suddenly burst out and waved a hand and got into his stupid silver Volvo.

That seemed like a hundred years ago now that I think of it but it was really 15 years ago.

It was at Rose's business cocktail party that we saw each other again.

He was older, but his hair was still the same and his eyes were still bright, he was married. She was dark haired, gorgeous and it broke my heart. I sucked in a breath, feeling my chest tighten and my palms sweat. His pretty little wife held onto his arm and smiled adoringly up at him.

Rose grabbed my hand; I was her 'date' for the evening.

"Isn't that…?"

"Yep"

"And he's…?"

"Yep"

"Are you going to…?"

"Nope"

She nodded her head and squeezed my hand, she knew about Edward, I told her when she was old enough and not a six year old. She left me alone to say her hellos, after all, it was her office party and she was hoping for a promotion now that the office was being taken over by someone else.

"Hello, Jasper." I heard from behind me, I knew it was him, the way my name sounded on his lips made me want to cry but I swallowed hard and turned around. He was more beautiful close up and if I was some sort of emotional girl I would've probably ran like a firecracker was lit under my ass but I couldn't, so instead I forced a smile of recognition on my face and looked at him.

"Edward." I said shortly, fiddling with my tie, which was beyond a pain in the ass, but Rosalie insisted that I needed the tie. It was awkward to say the least.

"What are you doing here?"

"Being a supportive big brother, of course. It's Rose's… uh… thing" I stuttered out, pushing my worn and torn hands through my hair as I shifted from foot to foot.

"Ah... I guess I should reintroduce myself, seeing as I am her new boss."

My eyes widened, unintentionally. In addition, I had to swallow again, even harder than before.

"Figures..." I muttered as he excused himself and walked away. Grabbing a glass of champagne from the waiter walking around, I downed it and screwed my face up in disgust.

Who the actual fuck chooses to drink this shit, and why the fuck didn't they have beer?

I shook my head and made my way to the bathroom, I needed to splash some water on my face and clear my head because it felt like I had been hit in the face a thousand times over in the gut. I wanted to vomit.

I made it to the bathroom and splashed my face.

Dressed in a suit, Edward and I sat on the park bench with bottles of beer, glum looks on our faces, my hair fell in front of my face, and I pushed it away with the hand that wasn't actually holding my second beer. I looked around, the woods lurked behind us and the party was raging in front of us but we were just us two. His friends were inside and mine… Well, my friend was my car, which I worked on daily, making my hands calloused and used.

"This is ending." He suddenly spoke, his voice solemn. I did not understand why he sounded so down, he was going to a great college to be an executive, and his parents supported him despite his father being a doctor.

My parents wanted me to be something more than a filthy mechanic, they wanted me to find a beautiful wife, have some kids and be paid enough to have the house with a white picket fence and a dog.

However, I did not want to have that, I wanted to be a mechanic, find a man who I loved and live within my means. I knew I was gay when I was 13 and began looking at boys the way I was supposed to be looking at girls, but having a big Christian family kind of made it difficult to say it.

"Yeah, that was the entire point of graduation. Graduate and go do things with our lives… Well, at least you'll go do things with your life"

"Jas… Don't be an idiot."

"I'm being a realist."

"Another word for idiot."

"Shut up, Mr College."

We both erupted in chuckles, him spilling a bit of beer on his suit pants with the force of his laughter.

I sucked in a breath of air, focused mainly on the grass in front of me.

We had become friends a little after our sisters became friends, we didn't hang out much because at school he had a reputation to keep and I was not someone that you'd hang out with if you wanted to keep your reputation.

However, every so often when our sister's got together we hung out.

He told me everything, whereas I only listened.

Unfortunately... I began to love him and he did not know a single thing about it.

He looked at me from the park bench, his beer finished and sitting beside him. He leaned into me and his lips crashed into mine, they were warm and he tasted like apples. I was taken aback and it took me awhile to respond to him but eventually I did, my hands weaving through his messy hair.

He pulled away after a few moments, his fingers flying to his lips and he staggered back.

"I… I have to… Sorry…"

That was the last I saw of him.

Leaving the bathroom as I tried to straighten myself out but my tie was crooked, hair wet from the splash of cold bathroom tap water. I pulled off the tie, frustrated with that annoying piece of fabric. It fell to the floor and I could not bring myself to give a shit about it.

I noticed that there was a balcony to escape to and I took the opportunity as if my entire life depended on it, I needed a cigarette and it was bad enough that I had to go without one for so long.

I lit the cigarette and took the best drag I had ever had in my entire 32 years of life. The screen door slid open but I paid no attention, enjoying the smoke and clearing my thoughts of Edward and his trophy wife.

"You know smoking is a disgusting habit."

I rolled my eyes; it was a reflex more than an intentional move. I knew it was his voice and I shook my head, tossing the cigarette over the side as I turned myself around, resting against the balcony.

"Your face is disgusting"

"That was your response in high school too."

"Some things never change, obviously." I said curtly. "Did you die for the last 15 years or…?"

"I just got busy"

"Oh, sure. You just got busy. I tried to see you but your parents said you left! What the hell was that?!" I spat almost hysterically.

"Jas… I…"

"Save it, Cullen. I've had enough bullshit in my life without you adding to it"

I left the balcony in a huff, making my way toward Rosie; I kissed her cheek, made my apologies.

I took the car on Rose's insistence and with her assurance that she would get a ride with a friend.

And I practically fled like a raging psycho.