***
Sirius raced through the night, the roar of his motorbike and the
rushing wind drowned out by the screaming inside his mind. Lily and James…Betrayed
by Peter. If they died, it would be all his fault. If…only if
they died. But Sirius knew he was too late. Pangs of guilt filled
Empty spaces
inside his heart. Sirius glanced down
through the clouds. The trees of the forest were beginning to thin. Godric's
Hollow wasn't far now. An eerie chill much too evil for such a night filled
Sirius as he descended.
What are we living for?
Please, please no…Sirius silently prayed. His eyes fixed on a haunting
image he could almost see in his mind before his tires connected with the
ground. Green mist, hanging menacingly over the rubble.
Abandoned places, I guess we know the score.
A skull and serpent, both grinning, taunting Sirius. Voices in his
mind. You did it…Look, boy – what you feared has happened…their blood is on
your hands…
On and on,
Sirius stumbled towards the house, his legs threatening to give out at
any moment. He knew what he would find.
does anybody know what we are looking for…
"James?" Sirius called cautiously.
"Lily?" he picked his way carefully through the smouldering brick and wood, all
that remained of a house he once knew so well. You did it…their blood is on
your hands…Sirius tore through the rubble, ash burning his eyes, jagged
shards of glass and metal digging into his skin. "James? Where are you?" It
came out as no more than a whisper. And through all the noise of clattering
wood, through the taunting in his mind, Sirius heard it – a child's whimper. Someone's
still alive…
Sirius made to search out the source of
the sound, when he caught something out of the corner of his eye – a mop of
untidy black hair. James lay crumpled on the ground, his eyes wide with fear,
not moving, not breathing. His wand was still clutched in his hand. Sirius'
legs finally gave out and he sunk to the floor. "Oh, Prongs…" Sirius reached
down and gently closed James' eyes.
A sudden movement caught Sirius' eye. His
eyes darted quickly around, stopping no more than ten feet from where James
lay. Lily. Sweet Lily. Sirius could have sworn she was sleeping; she looked so
peaceful. Tears still stained her cheeks. She was clutching a tiny bundle – the
source of the small cry Sirius had heard. "Harry."
Another hero,
Sirius scooped up the bundle, looking
down at the miraculous child. "You're alive…" Harry slept peacefully, barely
stirring as he was taken from his mother's arms. But James and Lily are
dead…Harry is an orphan now. It's all your fault.
another mindless crime
"No…Peter did this…it's his fault."
Sirius didn't believe a word he said.
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to
take it anymore…
"Sirius…there yeh are." Sirius darted
around, startled. He hadn't heard Hagrid's heavy footsteps approaching. Hagrid
focused his eyes on Sirius, not looking at the scene around him. He continued
speaking softly. "Dumbledore wants me ter take Harry ter live with the
Dursleys." Sirius' grip on Harry tightened. "No, Hargid. Let me take care of
him. I'm his godfather, after all." Hargid looked as if he wanted to say yes,
but he looked down and instead said, "I'm sorry Sirius, but I've got my orders
from Dumbledore. Yeh gotta give him ter me." Sirius hesitated, then handed
Harry to Hagrid. Sirius swallowed the large lump forming in his throat. "You
can take my bike, Hargid. You'll get there much faster." Hagrid nodded, and
gave Sirius what he hoped was an encouraging smile.
Only when the distant roar of the
motorbike had faded did Sirius allow himself to cry.
Whatever happens, I leave it all to
chance.
James and Lily, dead.
Another heartache, another failed
romance.
Harry, gone to live with muggles.
On and on,
All betrayed by Peter.
does anybody know what we are living
for?
What did Sirius have left?
I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer
now.
A lifetime of living with the pain of
knowing he was a murderer to his best friends.
I'll soon be turning 'round the corner
now.
Sirius stood and took in the scene around
him. He could picture this house from a million different memories. Holding his
godson for the first time, James and Lily's wedding, countless nights when the
Marauders would stay up until dawn, laughing and talking.
And now the laughter was dead.
Outside the dawn is breaking
Light was slowly creeping over the house.
Sirius stood perfectly still, watching as the dawn broke and the sun's rays
played gently on Lily and James. He smiled bitterly. It made them seem so
alive. James, his cheeks flushed red, tousled black hair falling into his eyes.
Lily, her arms still holding an invisible child, her red hair dancing, as if on
fire. But they weren't alive – they were dead. And it was all Sirius' fault.
But inside in the dark I'm aching to
be free.
"No…it wasn't me. It was Peter." And now
it was time for Peter to see what he had done.
Sirius took one last look back at Lily
and James, the sunlight crowning them like angel's wings. "Sleep well, friends."
Sirius whispered into the silence.
My soul is painted like the wings of
butterflies
Fairytales of yesterday will grow but
never die
I can fly, my friends.
Sirius strode purposefully away from the
wreckage of the house. The town of Godric's Hollow would be awakening soon, and
they would see what had happened, and Sirius intended to have captured the man
who had betrayed his best friends by then.
I'll top the bill, I'll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on.
Yes, Peter Pettigrew would pay dearly.
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking,
My makeup may be flaking
But my smile still stays on…
***
